Emotional Eating

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briegirl28
briegirl28 Posts: 121 Member
edited March 2016 in Motivation and Support
So, I didn't eat very healthy this past weekend. Was kind of in an emotionally drained mood and ate kettle corn, toast, marshmallows, and even a McDouble cheeseburger, over the course of 2 days. I didn't pig out as much as I could have, but don't like that I gave in and had bread and sugar.

I found out that an ex-bf that I totally did too much for and that owes me thousands of dollars, got married a few months after he suddenly left me. I'm not mad that he left as I had been asking him to go for a while (he was abusive and never really contributed towards rent, etc). And I have no desire to be with him.

The part that hurts is that he got married so fast, then had a child very quickly, and it's like, I'm still trying to put the pieces of my life back together after being with him, which caused a lot of problems emotionally and money wise. I do blame myself for putting his needs before mine and for not doing more when my heart told me he was possibly lying about things. On top of that, I just found out that another ex of mine also has kids.

So, I wonder what do you all do to deal with emotional hunger when you are feeling sad or blue? Part of me knows I can't stop eating healthy as that gets me no where but fat and unhappy, but there is also that little part of me that says that a nice sweet coffee drink and a piece of lemon pound cake may help to comfort my soul.

How to you treat yourselves with extra care without pigging out or doing retail therapy?

Replies

  • msteele377
    msteele377 Posts: 14 Member
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    Oh my goodness! 1 I'm so incredibly sorry. That's traumatic. I had a similar situation. I date a guy for 8 years we broke up and a month later he was dating a close friend. I had to see her come to class in his sweatshirts, giggle about him, it was like he died. When we broke up he never spoke to me again. Everyone said it wouldn't last well They got married a few years later and now have a baby. I say this because I know how you feel. It's deeply traumatic. You feel sick and sad all at the same time. What helped me was talking to someone. It helped validate I wasn't crazy! Lol guys seem to have this crazy ability to walk away and cut ties so easily. It makes it so painful. I ate and ate after it. Once I talked to someone (I had never gone to a counselor before) it helped me lift him off my shoulders...it sounds weird but I became less sad and more motivated. Grieve it. Cry and cry if you have to have someone there to validate you and help you see the light at the end of the tunnel. I hope that made sense! Know I'm thinking about you!
  • briegirl28
    briegirl28 Posts: 121 Member
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    Thank you so much, Msteele377!
  • ladymorevna
    ladymorevna Posts: 19 Member
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    Briegirl! This was like reading about myself. I was in exactly the same place with a man I spent too much on (money and time) and actually managed to gain almost 100 lb while I was with him through emotional eating. I now use it to motivate myself to some extent. When I think about it I try to focus on how I never want to put myself second again and instead of inhaling two litres of icecream (which I still do, occasionally), I take a drive or go for a walk around a lake or use the time to learn something, because I am worth the effort. By the same token, if you have a rubbish day, you have a rubbish day. We all do. If you emotionally punish yourself for it, it'll become a vicious cycle. Chin up, gal. *hug*
  • briegirl28
    briegirl28 Posts: 121 Member
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    Thank you, Ladymorevna :) I don't feel too bad about eating the way I did over the weekend as it wasn't as bad as I used to eat on even a happy day :) I also have been reading a bit about emotional eating and I know that my getting bigger would only make my exes look justified or like I was a lost cause or something. I think my getting healthier and happier and smiling more in my life would be a great way to show how I am much better off without negative exes in my life.
  • ladymorevna
    ladymorevna Posts: 19 Member
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    Good thinking. Let's show 'em :D
  • PenguinGirl1234
    PenguinGirl1234 Posts: 16 Member
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    :( I feel for all the things that were said in this post. It really does help to have someone to talk to, a counselor or even older mentor. The other thing a friend said to me that helped when I was in a dark place was that it is important to hold onto what I have left, rather than what it is that I lost. And when I thought about everything I had left, my health was one of them and I guess I just needed to keep reminding myself of that. Coming up with a different guilty pleasure may be good, I got into crafting and whenever I felt inclined to reach for the chocolate I would pick up my knitting or cross-stitching, etc. And then the other thing is to just go out and shop. Even if you don't buy anything, it was always therapeutic for me to see new things on shelves. The walking around was nice, and seeing all the new colors and items sort of worked as a way to calm myself down.
  • goin2cruise
    goin2cruise Posts: 28 Member
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    When I find myself in the verge of a white flour and sugar buzz, I think about how it makes me feel... the during and the after... when you are in the middle of the sugar rush, it really doesn't take it away, its almost the like the "buzz" and "fuzz" of alcohol. And afterwards, when your gut it just feeling the pain of all that junk, and miserable its just not worth it...
    Its hard to stop in the middle. But if you find yourself going there. Get out of your environment and go anywhere else. Walk, drive, take a bath, call a friend...etc. GOOD LUCK! We have all be there.
  • briegirl28
    briegirl28 Posts: 121 Member
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    Thank you, everybody. :)
  • briegirl28
    briegirl28 Posts: 121 Member
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    I did okay today. I had some leftover previously frozen cornbread stuffing with a couple of scrambled eggs. Definitely a bit of comfort eating, but overall not too bad. I was able to not buy some kettle corn popcorn, and I actually bought some celery for when I am craving something crunchy.

    I completed my food entry for today and the little message pops up saying that if I keep eating like today, I will be 261lbs. In 5 weeks. I thought of how trippy and awesome it would be to be 261lbs. by April.

    I wonder if my colleagues would notice? I don't think so. But I do think that if they saw that I was eating healthier and working out, they might actually begin to respect me more. I know that sounds bad, but, eh, there is still a lot of fat bias and prejudice in the world.
  • committedtolose
    committedtolose Posts: 3 Member
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    Wow. I'm so glad I found this group. :) I understand all of what you guys have been through and how hard it is to put down the fork in times of stress. My goal this time is to fix the eating itself so that food is not the comfort or reward. This is so hard. It's not like smoking where you just don't do it again. We all have to eat. However, you guys have made great suggestions and amazing progress. Thanks to all of you and congrats on all you have done thus far and continue to do.
  • eldamiano
    eldamiano Posts: 2,667 Member
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    Go for a run after and you will be fine....
  • briegirl28
    briegirl28 Posts: 121 Member
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    Not much of a runner. Wish I were though. But at this weight it would be bad for my knees.
  • Afura
    Afura Posts: 2,054 Member
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    I definitely emotionally eat, and do retail therapy (not horribly at least, but a dent in meager savings shows it). I have no problems with bread and sugar in moderation, if I didn't have them I'd likely end up binge eating. Therapy is what I'm working towards getting the courage to do (I have a verbally/emotionally abusive father) to help deal with issues and break the emotional eating/spending.
  • xmichaelyx
    xmichaelyx Posts: 883 Member
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    briegirl28 wrote: »
    How to you treat yourselves with extra care without pigging out or doing retail therapy?

    By emotional working out.
  • dubird
    dubird Posts: 1,849 Member
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    If eating food is what you turn to for emotional support, find another outlet. Do your nails, go walk through the park, do something you enjoy that doesn't include food. I play video games or read, myself. As long as I don't have food next to me while I do so, I don't habit snack and it keeps my mind off whatever's bothering me.
  • briegirl28
    briegirl28 Posts: 121 Member
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    Thank you everyone for your awesome recommendations and for sharing your own experiences.

    You are right in that I should not eat emotionally and I am working on that. I do have a therapist who has helped me immensely. I haven't talked to her about everything (I see her once a week and discuss whatever is the biggest issue at the time) like food issues, other than I ate some off plan foods over the weekend and that my craving sugar is most likely due to emotions.

    As a morbidly obese person, I realize that food was my comfort when dealing with absent parents or family issues, insecurities, secrets, upheavals, anxiety, anger, boredom, grief, etc.

    I have been doing a lot of work on myself emotionally and spiritually. I am beginning to work out and be more concious of what I am eating. I need to work more on my food issues as it is something I struggle with. I know that sugar is not good for me and I have been trying to work to eliminate foods with added sugar from my diet.

    I realize that while I may not eat the huge meals I did before, I am still grazing and eating huge portions of trail mix.

    I am going to drink more water and see if that helps with the cravings. Maybe some of it is being dehydrated or thirsty.

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