depressed

demure_poetic
demure_poetic Posts: 73
edited September 28 in Health and Weight Loss
I know weight loss is not magic, but it's so discouraging when your so fat and after you exercise you are still the same...even the first few times... I know it takes time and effort...but that feeling after you have worked so hard and tryed your best but you won't see results for a long time (and just how long will that be!? you just have to wait and see...) ...It is so depressing... So that being said, what helps lift your mood and helps you look forward and have confidence?

And also...if you are exercising and eating healthy..but have some guilty pleasures you don't think are that bad...such as with me maragrine and cheese... will it stop me from losing weight? i know margarine and cheese are fattening but what if I had cheese 3 times a week and how much is too much...or should I just leave it alone....what about margarine...should I quit it too? will it stop me from losing weight? All help is appreciated..thanks! :)

Replies

  • MrsRadder
    MrsRadder Posts: 207 Member
    i am having the same problem and questions. I look forward to seeing what others have to say. Good luck!
  • stevend05
    stevend05 Posts: 1 Member
    hey you should try the Laughing Cow Mini Baby Bel Light cheese its only 50 calories and it tastes really good! everything is about portion control!
  • sweetie89207
    sweetie89207 Posts: 361
    its normal to feel like that girl...but dont sweat it...what helps me to beat the sadness even when i am exercising and eating what the site says and still not losing a pound!- is that i just think- well all the exercise is making my heart stronger- regardless of if i'm losing weight or not- im still improving my health every time i exercise...its thinking about the benefits you are getting even if you cant see them...the eating less saturated fats- so it wont clog ur arteries and you die! see the benefits- they are there u just have to look for them...as for the guilty pleasures- im of the opinion that you cant deprive yourself of things you love...if you do then losing the weight isnt worth it...everything everything everything in moderation...i dont deprive myself of anything...and even tho my weight loss isnt coming off as quickly- im happy...because i still eat (every once in a while) the things i LOVE! and thats what keeps me going and exercising....and besides whats the point of losing all this weight if your miserable the whole way? not me...i wanna do it on my own terms...and so i stay happy....so keep ur margarine and ur cheese...just watch the portions and how often you eat them...if u eat too much of course it will stop the weight loss...but u just make sure that when u eat them- its portioned and that its eaten with other things that are healthy- balances out in my opinion...just remember to keep ur self happy and this journey will b a lot easier!
  • SavannaN
    SavannaN Posts: 148
    I know the feeling. I wake up in the morning and feel so skinny and think that when I step on the scale that there will be this real big decrease, but there never is...... Its terrible. But to keep motivated, I just try and think of why I am doing this.
  • christine24t
    christine24t Posts: 6,063 Member
    I think as long you carve out calories in your day for your treat, enjoy it and don't regret it!!
  • alecta337
    alecta337 Posts: 622 Member
    I look at pictures of girls I hope to look like, that always makes me feel better.

    Cheese and margarine are fine. Just watch your saturated fat numbers on those days. Almost any food is ok to indulge every once in a while in moderation.
  • mwatson23
    mwatson23 Posts: 18
    I've noticed a lot of people on the boards seem to have mini goals and rewards which I have found a helpful idea as well...I have yet to set mine but following a principle my old boss taught me is that the "only way to eat an elephant is one bite at a time". so as I start to fight my elephants I need to break it down into do-able bites and remember to celebrate along the way.

    As far as the butter and cheese, yeah they aren't great for your but if you are balancing that off with exercise and staying under your calorie amounts each day I think it should still work...maybe use those things as a reward or give yourself one cheat a week? I'm certainly not an expert so would love to hear what others have to say as well.
  • frostke
    frostke Posts: 21
    I'm totally with you. I've been feeling super down lately. It's like, "How long is it going to take for this weight to come off?" Especially when it's so much weight to come off. I'm making a completely lifestyle change which is seeming extremely doable but is very challenging for me and is also challenging my patience MUCHO!

    Also, I LOVE cheese. I can't get enough of it. I don't let myself not have it. (I have cheese almost every day) But I definitely limit my amount of it. Maybe it's just one piece of string cheese, or just a serving a colby jack block cheese. I get to have it every day which is very satisfying, but if I have too much, it shows on my food diary.

    I'm definitely in need of some motivation and encouragement during these hard times. Feel free to add me! We can be there for each other!
  • I have that same feeling of why can't I just look the way I want to look now, and why can't I see the results of a week worth of workouts now. I keep myself motivated by all of you. I have seen you all look better after hard work and dedication. Going through the success stories on here is really what has been pushing me lately.

    My mom also had Gastric Bypass almost a year and half ago and has lost a ton of weight. She is such a motivator for me. My daughter is a motivator for me.

    The easiest thing to keep me going is everyone else, and my need for the change in my life. The way I look at it is that I look in the mirror now, and think to myself "next year at this time, I'm going to look incredible and this will all be in the past, just part of the journey"

    I wish you the best of luck and if you ever need to talk about anything, feel free to message me or something!

    Hope that helps!
  • DeviantDarkwolf2
    DeviantDarkwolf2 Posts: 363 Member
    I keep in my head "you made yourself get this way" which if we all look at it we did and it did take time, so in fact of course it is going to take time to undo what we have done to ourselves. I had to laugh at myself the other day I was doing side crunches and happen to look down and it wasn't a pretty site hahaha. But we all need to realise we have trained ourselves to be the way we are and learning to be healthy and exercise will take time to become routine. I also try not to focus on the weight itself but in how I feel. I feel so much better and if you focus on being healthy the weight-loss will happen as well. This is a life journey so we need to retrain the brain and that's the goal!! Good luck and don't be too hard on yourself you are on this site and trying your best and that alone is an achievement so hold your head up and know for yourself that YOU CAN DO THIS!!! Just don't give in!!
  • Thanks for all your words of encouragement !! So happy I joined MFP ... I will try to control my habits and think of what is to come... and hopefully I will look back on my bad days one day as a thinner healthier me and know it was all worth it... I hope I can push through, I hope we all can so we reach our goals and live happy healthy lives! thanks so much everyone! :)
  • BRANDYLYNETTE
    BRANDYLYNETTE Posts: 192 Member
    I eat cheese each week. Iput it on my potato.....1/4 cup will not kill you. I use tablespoon of butter as well a couple of times a week. Just stay under your calorie count....keep track of it each day....and use the support of this site. I started in April on THIS SITE....and it is the first time I habe been able to lose weight. I know it is from the journaling....and support. I love this site. I buy weight watchers frozen microwave meals....skinny cow ice cream sandwiches for my chocolate fix.....take chromium picolinate and b12 for help with my metabolism....and it is working out great. I started in April....this is June....and I have now lost 31 pounds! I am 42 years old...and this is the first diet I have stuck with without the help of physicians weight loss etc. I eat lots of chicken....high protein foods. The first month it came off slow....now....the scale just keeps going down. Dont give up.....keep at it. Results WILL happen. I also eat a bag of Kroger brand 94% fat free popcorn three times a week. The whole bag.....lol. Weight is still fine...and I am keeping under 1200 calories a week. I dont deprive myself.. If I go to a b day party.....I eat cake. That doesnt happen very often...but, I do eat it. I just dont take home MORE cake for later. lol THis is a lifestyle change.....think of it...as If I lose 5 pounds this month...and five pounds next month...by September....Ill weigh....______________. I have a goal of fitting into a nice dress for new years eve. If I lose five more pounds each month....I would say...by then....I may actually look nice in it! Cheer up. You CAN do it. Cheat once a week...and dont go overboard. I cheat each weekend. How? I go to the local mexican restaurant and eat chips and salsa....but, only eat one basket....no refills. AND I share that basket. Im just not going to deprive myself....but, I am just having limits. Know what I mean? BEst of luck. : )
  • I know how you feel. I've always been kinda a nut about what I eat, I'm mostly vegetarian but I eat fish. I don't eat anything over processed, I cook mostly from scratch so I know what I'm eating. I'm 5'1" and any weight comes on quick and shows. For the last month I,ve strived to burn over 500 calories a day and the scale has not moved. I use my fitnesspal and try to end my day with 500 calories to spare. I'm not giving up I've switched my focus to endurance and strength rather then what the scale says. Maybe that can motivate you. I also got a large breed puppy who now at five months old when he hears my alarm he knows its time to go out and run. Hope that was some help ;) ps I'm still chunky but feel great :P
  • suzooz
    suzooz Posts: 720 Member
    The scale is not always the best measurement of success here. You can do everything right one week and gain some weight; and splurge a bit the next and then lose. To combat this, I try to focus on what I can control (diet and exercise) and worry less about what may not be totally under my control (the actual number on the scale!)

    I will set more behavior-based goals during the week, like drink more water, exercise 3 x / week, stay under calorie goals, watch sodium, etc. This way, I am controlling my behavior and the scale should follow -- over time. Watch the trends --- don't get hooked up over a single number or a single week gain/losses -- look at it over a much larger timescale.

    As far as cheese and margarine -- I make sure that I have enough calories to fit these into my diet. So far, i am losing weight.
  • Ebby0525
    Ebby0525 Posts: 11 Member
    Hey,
    I know exactly how you feel! I have gone on and off on and off, of eatting healthy and working out! What keeps me going is I set a goal for myself, my overall is 110 day, I am trying to get healthy for another baby. But I take it a day at a time! I found it fun when you set small goals, like my first goal is 30 days, I want to loose at least 15 lbs, but with that in mind I work out twice a day and count calories, but I still eat the things I like once in a while. Its really about moderation, and girl one thing I had to learn as well is that every inch , once, and lb counts! So my advice would be to set weekly or monthly goals for your self. keep a diary and write out your feelings and how you are doing with your work outs daily! Trust me it will help you. I hope you feel better!!! and remember treat yourself dont cheat yourself because if you do the lifestyle change will fail!! Good luck to you!!! :)
  • angelicdisgrace
    angelicdisgrace Posts: 2,071 Member
    I know the feeling. I wake up in the morning and feel so skinny and think that when I step on the scale that there will be this real big decrease, but there never is...... Its terrible. But to keep motivated, I just try and think of why I am doing this.


    Ditto!
  • WifeMomDVM
    WifeMomDVM Posts: 1,025 Member
    Awww.... don't beat yourself up. Changing yourself is HARD, but is so worth it. You have to focus on the long term as someone else said. Which is hard because we are such a "hear and now" society.

    I try to take it just one day at a time. I plan out my meals and eating in advance most of the time, so there are no surprises later. I do try to limit my treats/favorite unhealthy foods.

    I have actually learned to like and my body now craves healthier foods. All of the processed junk we eat really does poison you and mess up your brain and makes you crave more bad for you foods.

    When I first started on MFP 5 months ago a friend posted this link. It's a GREAT way to eat cleaner which will have you getting healthier and feeling more energetic. Since it only challenges you to make one small change each week, it's very doable and you even get cheat days so you aren't deprived.

    Here's the link:

    http://www.extremely-fit.com/fitness-tips/2011/01/8week-transition-diet/

    This is what really helped me make a change for the better. I'm still here, taking it one day at a time. Eventually all of those healthy good days will add up and you WILL see results - just be patient and don't get discouraged. Even if you have a bad day and fall off the wagon, just dust yourself off and climb back in the saddle and try again tomorrow and keep trying and trying and never, ever give up. Eventually the good days will out number those bad days and you'll get there. You've got the whole rest of your life to get it right, so take it slow, take your time and do it right.

    Start today. :):flowerforyou:
  • cbirdso
    cbirdso Posts: 465 Member
    This is what worked for me: I didn't get down on myself about my appearance but thought about meeting my goals each day. They were 1) some form of exercise 6 days a week and 2) meet my calorie total that calculated a 1/2 lb weight loss per week.

    I focused completely on those two things and felt 'successful' every day I met those tasks. This was all the motivation I needed at the start. Later, when I lost about 20 lbs and felt REALLY good about myself, I focused a little more on my large range goals. Specifically how I could change my daily habits so that I could stay on this path for the rest of my life. I knew which foods I would NOT give up (like orange juice every day, like alcohol now and then, like chocolate a few times a week) and which foods I could give up: like white bread, white rice, pop, processed foods, most desserts, etc. Feeling slim and healthy was more important than foods that were bad for me so I didn't feel deprived. Nutrition is necessary for life, so I never feel bad eating good fat (like cheese, nuts, avocados, etc.), healthy carbs and lean protein. I made sure I always ate enough to fuel my body. This made me feel good and helps your liver and hormones burn fat. As I get toward my goal, my motivation remains high because I created good habits for myself that are fairly easy to maintain and I love the way I look now.
  • Once again thanks everybody...for the resources/ideas/support & motivation! and good luck to you all..I think I will try out the mini goals...browse through those before and afters pictures on MFP and be happy I am on way rather than being stuck and going no where... I am going to push myself as hard as I can to keep up with my new healthy lifestyle!
  • velvetkat
    velvetkat Posts: 454 Member
    I started out here at MFP around the end of Feb. about 2 weeks into my new lifestyle(I refuse to use the "D" word as I will never be able to go back to eating the way I did) Using the tools here and the motivation of all the awesome people here have helped me lost 65lbs. I didnt start out restricting everythng from my diet... i gradually worked on tweaking what I ate and how much I ate until I could stay under the calorie goals set on here. Do I mess up and go over?? Every once in a while I do...just move on to the next meal or day and keep plugging along.. it will be worth it in the long run. keep telling yourself that. It has taken me atleat 30years to figure this dieting thing out.. (ohh I said it.. dang!)! Now I dont feel bad when I get on the scale and I have gone up a lb or not lost anything... as long as I know that I didnt cheat with my foods... and if I did... oh well lets just start the next day new...
    Please dont get discouraged... we are all here for you and to help motivate you to be successful and to look great in the coming weeks/years!!!

    Keep your chin up... even if you have a double chin!! Keep them both up!!! it will be gone soon enough!

    4925355.png
    Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Weight Loss Tools
  • BProudOfU
    BProudOfU Posts: 83 Member
    What I like about this plan is that I can have anything I want. If you want cheese, then have it. Make sure you deduct the calories and if you decide that the cheese is more calories than you want to eat, then don't eat it. It's your choice. Make sure you log your exercise too. That earns you more calories. I know it is depressing...I only lost 2 lbs so far and was a little upset at first, but then realize...I didn't gain weight or even stay at the same weight so I am ahead. It is also better to lose 1-2 lbs a week...as much as I would like to lose 20lbs in a week. Just keep it up and know that you are making the right decisions. You will see results!
  • srp2011
    srp2011 Posts: 1,829 Member
    I think everyone else has said some really good stuff. The only thing I would add is that I found a non-scale goal to work toward at the same time (I started running, and so my ongoing goal is to beat my last or best 5K time), and for some reason that motivates me more to exercise and eat right than the numbers on the scale (but they compliment each other well). So usually I see some sort of progress toward one goal or another (and the running progress is more consistent :-) ). Try finding some sort of fitness goal that works for you, especially something that is progressive, where you can see improvement quicker than you will on the scale. Even something like the 30 day shred, and take measurements before and after (plus you'll achieve little victories when you move up each level). Or if you run, sign up for a race, or if you bike, try a bike race, or a duathalon or triathalon. Find something to train for, whatever your favorite form of exercise is.
  • pierogiprincess
    pierogiprincess Posts: 24 Member
    Everyone feels like that sometimes. For me, I need to focus on the fact that I am taking care of my body- which is the total opposite of what I do when I overeat-I'm abusing it. I am trying to focus on success in the small things like logging my food everyday. When you do that, you are being honest with yourself and dealing with reality. That is success! Because I am so much more aware of what I eat, I am much more careful. Today was fun- I was actually UNDER my calories today that I had to find something else to eat! iMAGINE THAT! Be tender with yourself and realize that your worth does not come from your weight! You are wonderful as you are! By making the necessary changes to lose weight, we are taking care of the wonderful person you are!!
  • Don't look at weight loss, look at how your clothes are fitting. Clothes will fit differently when you change fat to muscle.
  • Thriceshy
    Thriceshy Posts: 708 Member
    I know weight loss is not magic, but it's so discouraging when your so fat and after you exercise you are still the same...even the first few times... I know it takes time and effort...but that feeling after you have worked so hard and tryed your best but you won't see results for a long time (and just how long will that be!? you just have to wait and see...) ...It is so depressing... So that being said, what helps lift your mood and helps you look forward and have confidence?

    And also...if you are exercising and eating healthy..but have some guilty pleasures you don't think are that bad...such as with me maragrine and cheese... will it stop me from losing weight? i know margarine and cheese are fattening but what if I had cheese 3 times a week and how much is too much...or should I just leave it alone....what about margarine...should I quit it too? will it stop me from losing weight? All help is appreciated..thanks! :)

    What gets me through the "oh, no, I'm never going to be NOT fat!" feelings is the way in which my body tells me that I'm making a difference, regardless of what the scale might say. Even if I never lose another ounce, I can now walk around the local pond (around a half mile) without being winded or my back screaming. I spend 45 minutes on my feet, shopping, without feeling my back is going to break. My A1c has dropped from 6.9% to 5.7% in less than three months. I feel better, I move better, and even if I don't look better yet, those things are so worth it.

    Another thing that really helps me? Asking myself if I want to look back a year from now and wonder where I could have gotten, weight and health-wise, if I had stuck with it? No way--I've been doing that for years. This time, I'm going to look back a year from now and KNOW.

    On the butter and cheese front? Moderation. I have cheese a few times a week, and I have butter maybe once or twice a week. I watch my portions, I measure carefully, and I always record my foods. I don't see any reason to cut either thing out, so long as you're being sensible about them!

    Cheer up! You're here, and you're going to make a difference!

    Kris
  • Thanks Thanks Thanks everyone!! I made my mini goals in my signature and also added my weight countdown :)
  • april522
    april522 Posts: 388 Member
    Something I've noticed is when I don't drink enough water to flush my system out from day to day, I will gain some here and there or not loose at all. So make sure you're drinking plenty of water. As everyone else has said, cheese and margarine from time to time isn't bad, so long as it's in moderation. I usually eat a 2% sharp cheddar string cheese at least once every day or two with some fruit as a snack.
This discussion has been closed.