Introvert looking for friends who beat themselves up over their weight

I'm not heavy, I am a fitness junkie but I struggle with body image and find it hard to maintain a steady weight I yoyo between 130 and 147 and find the up and down more frustrating than anything. I seem to be excellent at dieting and even better at enjoying holiday chocolates. I don't know moderation
I need some of that in my life. So if you are a calm personality with a character that allows you to have moderation in your life please friend me. I'm an all or nothing personality and just tired of feeling so good about myself only to Sabatoge it during holidays and family functions.