Sometimes I feel like I'm too fat and ugly to leave the house and let anyone see me

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  • booksandchocolate12
    booksandchocolate12 Posts: 1,741 Member
    edited March 2016
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    RA60172 wrote: »
    Something I'm doing to help combat those self-deprecating thoughts is to try to look at them differently. Would I be okay with my best friend talking about herself like that? Hell no. Would I be okay with someone else talking about my best friend like that? I would be LIVID and probably try to kick someone's butt.

    I agree with this. It's something I say when people post things like, "I went to McDonald's (or ate too much ice cream or whatever) and went over my calories for the day. I feel so ashamed".

    Would you tell a friend, "You're right. That's terrible. You should be ashamed". No way!

    OP, you are an attractive and articulate woman. I wish you the best!

  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,372 Member
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    Been there but look around. Plenty of overweight or obese people. And you know what? Nobody cares.

    But use it. It seems to me that you're really fed up with being big, so use it as motivation. Take baby steps to lose the weight. You don't have to crash diet or starve yourself. Heck I started at 213 pounds and never went over the 'lose 1 pound a week' setting... You can do it!
  • TheLittleRedHairedGirl
    TheLittleRedHairedGirl Posts: 154 Member
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    Massive HUG. You are not alone in this. Many people feel as you do, have similar struggles, but it's how you get through them that's the important thing. It sounds like your fed up, good, use it. If things seem too big to tackle, start by making small changes until those big things aren't big anymore. Find a good therapist, one that's willing to actually hear what you're saying and not just listening - and then passing judgement. Thank you for opening up about your struggles to a very public audience, that was very brave.
  • Bxqtie116
    Bxqtie116 Posts: 552 Member
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    I re-read your post and I just wanted to say that my heaviest weight was 235. Sometimes you have to be sick and tired of being sick and tired to make changes in your life. Set up some small goals for yourself. Lose 5 lbs, get a haircut. Lose 10 lbs, treat yourself to a mani and pedi etc. As you slowly lose more, then treat yourself to a new blouse or skirt. You'll begin to get even more excited about your weight loss journey as you go down a dress size. Hold your head up and know that you have "friends" on here that can all relate to what your feeling and going through.
  • travelgirl77
    travelgirl77 Posts: 99 Member
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    I often feel like this. In fact today during Zumba (where I always have a blast and feel great) I looked at myself in the mirror and instead of seeing a happy girl, working out, I saw how gigantic my arms are and how my stomach rolls when I move. I had to rechannel that or all of my hard work would be derailed. The thing is that everybody has something. For some people their weight makes them self conscious for others it is their smile or teeth or lack of nice, trendy clothes or social awkwardness or any number of things. Please don't think that anyone is judging you as most everyone is just judging themselves. One thing that I have noticed is that by putting myself out there, and going to classes at the gym, going on interviews, talking with parents in my kids' classes, joining classes at church, etc. has made me feel better and continue to want to be healthy. So please don't shut yourself out from social interaction. Everything that your parents love about you is just waiting to be loved and appreciated by others. Trust me, investing in those social relationships will really help with refining yourself. Lots of hugs to you.
  • ncfitbit
    ncfitbit Posts: 1,058 Member
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    Keep this post somewhere. Let it be your "before" story. The good news is you are young and have so much of life left to enjoy and this will just be part of your story someday.

    This is my favorite success story on MFP. It inspired me to start and it continues to inspire me to keep going. Maybe it will inspire you, too.

    http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1454303/2-years-of-maintenance-130-pounds-lost/p1

    Best of luck. You can do it and you really deserve it!

  • akamran1
    akamran1 Posts: 78 Member
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    ncfitbit wrote: »
    Keep this post somewhere. Let it be your "before" story. The good news is you are young and have so much of life left to enjoy and this will just be part of your story someday.

    This is my favorite success story on MFP. It inspired me to start and it continues to inspire me to keep going. Maybe it will inspire you, too.

    http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1454303/2-years-of-maintenance-130-pounds-lost/p1

    Best of luck. You can do it and you really deserve it!

    That is a great piece, thanks for sharing it!
  • ncfitbit
    ncfitbit Posts: 1,058 Member
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    akamran1 wrote: »
    ncfitbit wrote: »
    Keep this post somewhere. Let it be your "before" story. The good news is you are young and have so much of life left to enjoy and this will just be part of your story someday.

    This is my favorite success story on MFP. It inspired me to start and it continues to inspire me to keep going. Maybe it will inspire you, too.

    http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1454303/2-years-of-maintenance-130-pounds-lost/p1

    Best of luck. You can do it and you really deserve it!

    That is a great piece, thanks for sharing it!

    ;)
  • augustremulous
    augustremulous Posts: 378 Member
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    Lordy, so many amazing encouraging responses. This was really touching. Thank you everyone!

    I'm feeling so much more positive now. Even before I stepped on the scale this morning, I felt incredibly optimistic because I just felt so much healthier.

    I have made several attempts at losing weight, and succeeded for a short time, and have slowly allowed the pounds to creep up. Oddly, I found this thread from two years ago, when i was a lot more optimistic.

    http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1354194/funny-how-being-overweight-for-awhile-makes-you-confident#latest

    Thinking back to that place in my life, it made me realize that I'm really internalizing things that have nothing to do with my weight. When I made the thread in 2014 about how confident I felt, things were looking up for me professionally and personally. And I felt good about life in general. Right now, I'm looking at a string of professional failures and setbacks - some bullying at work, a promotion I wanted but didn't get, some family stress. And it's affected the ways I see myself physically.
  • mykaylis
    mykaylis Posts: 320 Member
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    you are beautiful :)

    i am smaller than my profile pic (finally) and am roughly the same size as you but carry it differently. i often look a my belly flab and breasts and ..sigh.

    but you know what, neither of us are too fat to leave the house. decent people (and that's almost all people) care a lot more about who you are than what you weigh. no matter what i weigh i have always had people who love me, and for the most part i've loved myself because i'm a decent human being and honest to a fault.

    i also have disabling depression. there ARE times i can't leave the house, and if that's what you're feeling, please get a referral immediately. it could be you're stressed out and having a lot of bad days, or yu could be genuinely depressed and need some help navigating through it. it is never a bad idea to get yourself assessed for any and all factors that can interfere with your clear thinking and seeing yourself so poorly doesn't sound like clear thinking.

    i'm always here if you need a friend.
  • suziecue20
    suziecue20 Posts: 567 Member
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    I look at your profile pic and think there's a lovely, friendly looking person - that's someone I'd like to know. Please don't put yourself down love :)
  • MamaFunky
    MamaFunky Posts: 735 Member
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    ((HUGS)) you sounds like a sweet person. Have you ever thought of joining a gym and doing some exercise classes to meet some friends that are on the same journey. Being in a class with others can be so motivating and uplifting. You can meet new friends and work on your fitness goals. Best wishes to you.
  • azulvioleta6
    azulvioleta6 Posts: 4,196 Member
    edited March 2016
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    suziecue20 wrote: »
    I look at your profile pic and think there's a lovely, friendly looking person - that's someone I'd like to know. Please don't put yourself down love :)

    Yes.

    Would it be helpful for you to focus on fitness and what you can achieve physically instead of focusing on the number on the scale?

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