Feeling defeated by food :\

It takes 6 weeks to make anything a habit. You have to teach yourself a new habit. When you feel the cravings how do you respond? You have to start there. Grab a bottle of water and walk away and see how you feel in 15 minutes. Learn to distract yourself. If it's in the house, get rid of it. If you are driving past it, keep driving. It's learned behavior. I've been there. Now making choices isn't difficult. It never goes away but learning not to indulge..to enjoy in moderation will be your saving grace. I wish you wellness

I remember feeling just like you do . I remember being so depressed about my weight but couldn't seem to make the changes needed . it was a vicious cycle. I would over eat, then get depressed about my weight , then over eat again and get depressed about my weight even more.

I remember feeling like I couldn't stop over eating and remember how strong the urges where to over indulge . it was truly miserable to live that way.

I came to mfp believing so many myths and thinking it was soooo hard to make changes to lose weight. I was wrong. Its really not that hard. People make it harder then it has to be sometimes. I remember thinking I had to give up carbs, couldn't have tasty foods and would have to starve to lose. None of that was true. I was finally successful when I let go of the myths . I was finally successful when I realized that I didn't need to go to extremes. I thought I would have to eat salads all day just to lose weight. In reality, I just needed to eat less. As far as weight loss goes, it makes no difference what foods you pick as long as your at a calorie deficit. I could eat 1500 cals of donuts per day or 1500 cals of carrots and my weight loss would be the same ( obviously I am not suggesting that someone should eat donuts all day . but it is true that as long as you eat at a calorie deficit, you'll lose weight. The foods you pick are up to you and make no difference as far as weight loss goes . clearly for overall good health, a well balanced diet is best. All donuts would not be optimal for health but you get my point )

There are some people who overcomplicate the weight loss process. Weight loss comes from a calorie deficit. As long as your eating at a calorie deficit, you will lose weight. Its simple math. Calories in / calories out. Eat less then you burn and you'll lose weight. So start small
. you don't have to make all these changes at once. A good place to start is a food scale
Learn how to weigh all your foods and measure liquids. Learn how to log that all here on mfp.

From there you can see how much your really eating and you can cut back on calories from there. It seems overwhelming at first but it really doesn't have to be as long as you remember that weight loss comes down to calories.

I was able to lose all my weight and have kept it off for 2+ yrs so far. All it took for me to break the cycle was realizing that weight loss came down to calories. I let go of everything I had " learned " through the years( all the useless myths and tips and tricks like those you would read in a fitness magazine) It wasn't so hard when I realized that all I had to do was eat less. Best of luck to you !

Honestly, for me going cold turkey never worked. I just end up binging and eat everything that is 'forbidden'. What worked for me was to say "I can eat anything I want as long as I stick to my calorie goal".
Since most junk food are really calorific sticking to your calorie goal means that another concept that comes into play; Portion control. Sure you can have a cookie, but log it, and stick to one. Maybe two if you worked your butt off and have the calorie allowance for it. Even a slice of cake would be okay, but you could for example make it half a slice.
Also make sure that if you're allowing yourself to eat junk food, to eat only the junk food you really enjoy. Like, REALLY enjoy.. And take your time to appreciate it when you're eating it.

I think the main point of it is to be really aware of what you're eating when you're eating it, because most binges just tend to be mindlessly stuffing yourself with food you don't even love.

Meliza2165- I hear you! I am a "live to eat" kinda gal so food is a major pleasure in my life. I am also a bit lazy about getting out and moving my body. The replies above all have so much value as to how to work on how we think about changing the way and the amount we eat. It really is all about changing our thinking to change our lives as well as reaching out and receiving encouragement and support when we need it.
Each time you have a negative/defeating thought, look at how you might be able to reframe it into a positive one. A good example was in one of the replies - Instead of saying that counting calories and only being able to have X amount a day is depriving me of pleasure instead think "Eating unhealthy junk foods will make me feel deprived of living life to the fullest." If you pay attention to how you are thinking and work on turning those thoughts around, you will change from an "I can't do this" to "I can do this!".
Thank you for reaching out because it has helped me to realize I can do this. You can too!

thorsmom01 wrote: »

I remember feeling just like you do . I remember being so depressed about my weight but couldn't seem to make the changes needed . it was a vicious cycle. I would over eat, then get depressed about my weight , then over eat again and get depressed about my weight even more.

I remember feeling like I couldn't stop over eating and remember how strong the urges where to over indulge . it was truly miserable to live that way.

I came to mfp believing so many myths and thinking it was soooo hard to make changes to lose weight. I was wrong. Its really not that hard. People make it harder then it has to be sometimes. I remember thinking I had to give up carbs, couldn't have tasty foods and would have to starve to lose. None of that was true. I was finally successful when I let go of the myths . I was finally successful when I realized that I didn't need to go to extremes. I thought I would have to eat salads all day just to lose weight. In reality, I just needed to eat less. As far as weight loss goes, it makes no difference what foods you pick as long as your at a calorie deficit. I could eat 1500 cals of donuts per day or 1500 cals of carrots and my weight loss would be the same ( obviously I am not suggesting that someone should eat donuts all day . but it is true that as long as you eat at a calorie deficit, you'll lose weight. The foods you pick are up to you and make no difference as far as weight loss goes . clearly for overall good health, a well balanced diet is best. All donuts would not be optimal for health but you get my point )

There are some people who overcomplicate the weight loss process. Weight loss comes from a calorie deficit. As long as your eating at a calorie deficit, you will lose weight. Its simple math. Calories in / calories out. Eat less then you burn and you'll lose weight. So start small
. you don't have to make all these changes at once. A good place to start is a food scale
Learn how to weigh all your foods and measure liquids. Learn how to log that all here on mfp.

From there you can see how much your really eating and you can cut back on calories from there. It seems overwhelming at first but it really doesn't have to be as long as you remember that weight loss comes down to calories.

I was able to lose all my weight and have kept it off for 2+ yrs so far. All it took for me to break the cycle was realizing that weight loss came down to calories. I let go of everything I had " learned " through the years( all the useless myths and tips and tricks like those you would read in a fitness magazine) It wasn't so hard when I realized that all I had to do was eat less. Best of luck to you !

This.

I eat the fast food. Frequently. I'm a busy person with a busy schedule. I don't always have time to make things ahead. I have an infant and have to fit my schedule in with her nap schedule. So I eat the fast food, make wise choices and fit it into my calorie goal. I eat dessert practically every night too. It's about finding balance. Eat in a way that is sustainable to you. Do you plan on giving up fast food forever? Cookies? Birthday Cake? Ice Cream? Pizza? Chips? If the answer to that is no, then stop giving them up and labeling them as bad. They're not bad in the right quantities and in moderation. Fit them into your day, eat them, enjoy them, lose weight and be a happier person for it. Just don't forget the rest of the wonderful food varieties out there

Nickle526 wrote: »

It's important to recognize the function of manufactured food. Like any business, food companies have a goal of maximizing sales. This is not accomplished by customers eating less, it's accomplished by eating more. This is done by creative marketing, product placement, food additives and the like. So when it seems that it is impossible to give these foods up, don't beat yourself up: millions of dollars have been spent to make sure you keep buying this crap!

Different things work for different people. Some people need to go off manufactured food completely, while others find it helpful to ween down: eat healthy one night this week, bump it up to two nights next week and so on.

Information is power. Netflix has quite a few documentaries that I find helpful to watch now and then. "Fed Up" focuses on childhood obesity, but it really highlights how much power the food industry holds over the country.

Good luck to you, keep plugging away, it does get easier!


*edited to say "Fed Up" instead of "Bite Size". oops, wrong documentary

Watching a documentary is not a good way to become informed.

The food industry tries to make food taste good. Oh, the horror. If something tastes good, people tend to buy it more. Just because something tastes good does not mean it's addicting, nor does a preference for Snickers as compared to celery, for example, mean that the Snickers is addicting.

A lot of people struggle with the " diet" mentality, where they think they cannot possibly eat things including (but not limited to) refined sugar, sugar in general, chocolate, wheat, gluten, carbohydrates, fat, dairy, fast food, pizza, alcohol, etc. When people restrict too much, they set themselves up for a binge, or general emotional misery, or both.

Instead of telling yourself that you can't have something, figure out what it is that you want, put it in your food diary, and plan your day around it. If you cannot buy a bag of chocolate and eat just one, then buy an individual serving of it.

We're all in this for the long haul. Might as well not be miserable.

makingmark wrote: »

I know the feeling. I have had many of the same thoughts.
It has taken a while, but I am finally at a point where I am not constantly thinking about food. I am not perfect yet and am still looking to build habits, but here are some thought I had and things I did that helped a lot when first starting out.

• Had ready made snacks on hands. (Protein bars, fruit, I weighed and bagged up nuts) for when I really felt an urge to eat. I knew the calories before hand.
• Hard boiled eggs were always available in my refrigerator
• I cooked most of my food ahead and weighed and logged everything.
• I pre-logged some or all of my meals. It actually helped because I knew when I was eating again and if I left a meal open I knew what calories I had to "spend"
• I left myself room for treats. There is no need to be perfect about eating only "healthy foods".
• I stopped trying to compete with the ridiculous numbers I see on TV or read about, I am fine with losing a pound or two a week
• I realized that what I am doing is making habits I can live with for the rest of my life. It is going to take time and be a process with ups and downs. I will make mistakes and I need to forgive myself for them, I am human.

This is such a realistic perspective on things - I love seeing that! Including the forgiveness part - I know I am on a particular path, but I have to give myself space to deviate occasionally, as long as I know, deep down, that I can get back on the path.

Fall down 7 times, stand up 8.

Keep trying. Every day is a new day to make good choices. One trip through the drive thru at a moment of weakness does not define you, and it does not mean that you should throw your hands in the air and say, "Screw it for the rest of the day, week, month, etc."

Been there done that. Reprogram your brain to say, "Oops, I messed up. I need to get back on track ASAP."

As you can see from the long, detailed responses you're getting, this strikes a nerve. It's a common issue and I deal with it myself. I derail sometimes, but I'm making progress.

It's important to understand the role of dopamine in the brain in terms of motivating rewards:

Dopamine plays an important role in both the ability to energize feeding and to reinforce food-seeking behaviour; the role in energizing feeding is secondary to the prerequisite role in reinforcement. Dopaminergic activation is triggered by the auditory and visual as well as the tactile, olfactory, and gustatory stimuli of foods.

Source: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1642703/

We all deal with this to varying extents, but basically your brain is telling you that you need energy-dense (high calorie) foods, and those physiological impulses are very strong; strong enough to override logical thinking. I can't tell you how many times I've eaten cake at the office even though I know it'll blow my calorie deficit that day. My brain comes up with all kinds of stories, anything to tell me that eating it is all right. And in moderation, of course it is.

These impulses to eat high calorie and sweet foods are very strong, forged over a long period in an evolutionary furnace, and only as of recently aren't useful now that we as a society have disconnected physical labor from food acquisition. How we can defeat these impulses ends up varying from person to person. What works for one may not work for another. Consider carrying around a picture of someone you want to look like. When feeling tempted, look at it and ask yourself if the temptation is worth giving up that goal. Consider marking a calendar each day you stick to your plan; you might be surprised how rewarding it is to build up a great streak, and how much harder it is to break it. Or, write something down that may compel you to think twice, and read it when someone brings cupcakes to work. Something along those lines.

You can win. Know that it will be hard. Know that walking this hard path is the way to your goals.