Question to all of you working Mothers (Serious Replies Only Please)

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mer1cose
mer1cose Posts: 90 Member
in Motivation and Support
Hi - I'd like to ask for your opinion on something I'm planning for a friend. Here it is... a good friend of mine and her husband have been a huge help to me over the past few months as I've gone through some tough times. To say thank you, I got her husband tickets to a sporting event but for her, it's a bit more challenging. She is one of the hardest working people I know.. up at 4am every day.. gym at 5am... home.. gets ready for work.. get kids up and off to school.. then works her tail off 10 hours a day before going home to dinner, homework, bath time, bed time, etc.. she never takes any time for herself and is always doing for others. So, I was thinking.. would a mani / pedi be a good gift or would a facial be better? She is not a 'girly girl' but always looks pretty so.. tell me, which one should I go with? Thank you!!!

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  • julie_1217
    julie_1217 Posts: 17 Member
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    What about a gift certificate to a place that does a little bit of everything so she can decide? I'm not sure your budget or what's around your area. I know our area has a massage school and it's not quite as much to have the students do massages .... but if you're set on a mani/pedi or facial, I think I would go with facial. Unless she gets mani/pedi's often and you know she enjoys them! I guess that doesn't answer your question too much .... but anything that would "make" me take time for myself would be appreciated! We never seem to take the time for ourselves.
  • toolzz
    toolzz Posts: 163 Member
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    mani/pedi...but I don't like people touching my face so I am biased...
  • CompressedCarbon
    CompressedCarbon Posts: 357 Member
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    Is there any way you could offer to host her kids for a night or however long so that she could have time to do whatever it is that she wants to do? Sometimes alone time in your own house is a true gift. Something that lightens her responsibilities, even temporarily?
  • SarcasmIsMyLoveLanguage
    SarcasmIsMyLoveLanguage Posts: 2,668 Member
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    I'd go with mani/pedi. I hate facials. I would also include a little card telling her that you'll watch her kids while she goes to the spa. How nice of you to give her a little thank you for all her help!
  • WYMANT0004
    WYMANT0004 Posts: 81 Member
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    I am a single father, not a working mother, but my life schedule is very similar to what you describe your friend's as and I know the kind of tension I hold because of it. So, for whatever my opinion may be worth, I am inclined to agree with Julie's suggestion of a massage.
  • WinoGelato
    WinoGelato Posts: 13,454 Member
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    I think any of the suggestions - mani/pedi, facial, or massage are all really nice. A lot of people are kind of particular about facials and may not be comfortable just going to a new place or someone they don't know, so the mani/pedi might be the "safe" bet. I also love the idea of offering to watch the kids, and I might also suggest if you have a little extra in the budget for this generous gift - a $10 Starbucks gift card so she can get a coffee and a treat on her way to the salon....
  • purplemystra
    purplemystra Posts: 159 Member
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    As working mom myself I would love to get a gift card for mani/pedi, facial or message. They all sound great. If whatever place you choose has aroma therapy treatments those are good for de-stressing.
  • ValerieMartini2Olives
    ValerieMartini2Olives Posts: 3,024 Member
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    forrl wrote: »
    Is there any way you could offer to host her kids for a night or however long so that she could have time to do whatever it is that she wants to do? Sometimes alone time in your own house is a true gift. Something that lightens her responsibilities, even temporarily?

    That was exactly what I was thinking.
  • quiksylver296
    quiksylver296 Posts: 28,439 Member
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    With the options you provided, mani/pedi would be more relaxing. I, personally, would prefer a massage. And I agree with the person who said you should offer to watch the kids.
  • enterdanger
    enterdanger Posts: 2,447 Member
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    purplemystra wrote: »
    As working mom myself I would love to get a gift card for mani/pedi, facial or message. They all sound great. If whatever place you choose has aroma therapy treatments those are good for de-stressing.

    This. But I also agree that offering your services as a baby sitter is probably the best gift ever.
  • mer1cose
    mer1cose Posts: 90 Member
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    Thanks everyone! She doesn't get mani/pedi's ever and I don't think she's ever had a facial. I worry that if I give her a GC, she won't make the time to use it which is why I wanted to pick a treatment and schedule a time for her to go so she will be able to plan for it.
  • mer1cose
    mer1cose Posts: 90 Member
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    She would feel way too guilty letting me watch the kids but I will put that in the card for sure!
  • criscosmiles
    criscosmiles Posts: 2 Member
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    mer1cose wrote: »
    Hi - I'd like to ask for your opinion on something I'm planning for a friend. Here it is... a good friend of mine and her husband have been a huge help to me over the past few months as I've gone through some tough times. To say thank you, I got her husband tickets to a sporting event but for her, it's a bit more challenging. She is one of the hardest working people I know.. up at 4am every day.. gym at 5am... home.. gets ready for work.. get kids up and off to school.. then works her tail off 10 hours a day before going home to dinner, homework, bath time, bed time, etc.. she never takes any time for herself and is always doing for others. So, I was thinking.. would a mani / pedi be a good gift or would a facial be better? She is not a 'girly girl' but always looks pretty so.. tell me, which one should I go with? Thank you!!!

    I would highly recommend a gift card to a place that does mani/pedi/massage/facials witch will allow her the opportunity to decide and age doesn't have to drive to more than one place. Depending on price, I would get a gift card for a 60 minute massage and combo mani/pedi. Also, I would throw in babysitting while she goes as an added bonus. Hope she enjoys it!
  • pumalama
    pumalama Posts: 140 Member
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    I have 2 of these, currently on maternity leave for 18 months, and the best gift somebody could do is to take the kids for a few hours. An easy way is to steal the kids to a show in town, some events or a movie they like. It is disguised babysitting so it goes better with the parents ;) you could maybe include tickets for the children in the card and a Starbucks gift card with a magazine she likes?
  • mer1cose
    mer1cose Posts: 90 Member
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    pumalama wrote: »
    I have 2 of these, currently on maternity leave for 18 months, and the best gift somebody could do is to take the kids for a few hours. An easy way is to steal the kids to a show in town, some events or a movie they like. It is disguised babysitting so it goes better with the parents ;) you could maybe include tickets for the children in the card and a Starbucks gift card with a magazine she likes?

    Thank you! Unfortunately, the one thing that she will just never do is let someone else do that for her. She works a lot and doesn't get a lot of time with the kids so she just won't "dump them on someone" as she says... I've tried a number of times :
  • LKArgh
    LKArgh Posts: 5,179 Member
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    mer1cose wrote: »
    Thanks everyone! She doesn't get mani/pedi's ever and I don't think she's ever had a facial. I worry that if I give her a GC, she won't make the time to use it which is why I wanted to pick a treatment and schedule a time for her to go so she will be able to plan for it.

    Then this is not the gift for her. I never do either, I do not enjoy them at all, if I want to have my nails done, I do it myself. As for scheduling something for her, no. I have a very hard time scheduling things and takes careful juggling of work, chores and the kids schedules. Someone else picking the right time and date for me, and me being able to free this time, it would either end up being a huge chore and have me wonder what this friend was thinking, or I would not even consider it and throw the gift away. If you know she does not like leaving the kids, has a busy schedule and she does not schedule time for such things, then this does not sound at all like a gift she would enjoy.
    By the way, when is the event you bought tickets for her husband to attend? Have you cleared this with her first? If the family is that busy, this time could be time that she might had been relying on the husband to be with the kids, or time already planned for family.
    Maybe a family gift would be more appreciated? For a family friendly restaurant, a theme park, movies?
  • mer1cose
    mer1cose Posts: 90 Member
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    aggelikik wrote: »
    mer1cose wrote: »
    Thanks everyone! She doesn't get mani/pedi's ever and I don't think she's ever had a facial. I worry that if I give her a GC, she won't make the time to use it which is why I wanted to pick a treatment and schedule a time for her to go so she will be able to plan for it.

    Then this is not the gift for her. I never do either, I do not enjoy them at all, if I want to have my nails done, I do it myself. As for scheduling something for her, no. I have a very hard time scheduling things and takes careful juggling of work, chores and the kids schedules. Someone else picking the right time and date for me, and me being able to free this time, it would either end up being a huge chore and have me wonder what this friend was thinking, or I would not even consider it and throw the gift away. If you know she does not like leaving the kids, has a busy schedule and she does not schedule time for such things, then this does not sound at all like a gift she would enjoy.
    By the way, when is the event you bought tickets for her husband to attend? Have you cleared this with her first? If the family is that busy, this time could be time that she might had been relying on the husband to be with the kids, or time already planned for family.
    Maybe a family gift would be more appreciated? For a family friendly restaurant, a theme park, movies?

    She wants time for herself but never allows herself the time. She shoulders the load in the house.. her husband is very nice but she is very independent and prefers to take care of things. I cleared the tickets with her and she was thankful. She has nothing but family time and needs some alone time.
  • LKArgh
    LKArgh Posts: 5,179 Member
    edited March 2016
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    mer1cose wrote: »
    aggelikik wrote: »
    mer1cose wrote: »
    Thanks everyone! She doesn't get mani/pedi's ever and I don't think she's ever had a facial. I worry that if I give her a GC, she won't make the time to use it which is why I wanted to pick a treatment and schedule a time for her to go so she will be able to plan for it.

    Then this is not the gift for her. I never do either, I do not enjoy them at all, if I want to have my nails done, I do it myself. As for scheduling something for her, no. I have a very hard time scheduling things and takes careful juggling of work, chores and the kids schedules. Someone else picking the right time and date for me, and me being able to free this time, it would either end up being a huge chore and have me wonder what this friend was thinking, or I would not even consider it and throw the gift away. If you know she does not like leaving the kids, has a busy schedule and she does not schedule time for such things, then this does not sound at all like a gift she would enjoy.
    By the way, when is the event you bought tickets for her husband to attend? Have you cleared this with her first? If the family is that busy, this time could be time that she might had been relying on the husband to be with the kids, or time already planned for family.
    Maybe a family gift would be more appreciated? For a family friendly restaurant, a theme park, movies?

    She wants time for herself but never allows herself the time. She shoulders the load in the house.. her husband is very nice but she is very independent and prefers to take care of things. I cleared the tickets with her and she was thankful. She has nothing but family time and needs some alone time.

    Then ask her what she would like to do if she had the time? Sometimes it is a matter of priorities, or of feeling too lazy to schedule something but sometimes it is a very practical problem of not having anyone to watch the kids. And sometimes "I wish I had some free time" is more of a general remark of "can't wait for the kids to grow up" ;)
  • mer1cose
    mer1cose Posts: 90 Member
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    aggelikik wrote: »
    mer1cose wrote: »
    aggelikik wrote: »
    mer1cose wrote: »
    Thanks everyone! She doesn't get mani/pedi's ever and I don't think she's ever had a facial. I worry that if I give her a GC, she won't make the time to use it which is why I wanted to pick a treatment and schedule a time for her to go so she will be able to plan for it.

    Then this is not the gift for her. I never do either, I do not enjoy them at all, if I want to have my nails done, I do it myself. As for scheduling something for her, no. I have a very hard time scheduling things and takes careful juggling of work, chores and the kids schedules. Someone else picking the right time and date for me, and me being able to free this time, it would either end up being a huge chore and have me wonder what this friend was thinking, or I would not even consider it and throw the gift away. If you know she does not like leaving the kids, has a busy schedule and she does not schedule time for such things, then this does not sound at all like a gift she would enjoy.
    By the way, when is the event you bought tickets for her husband to attend? Have you cleared this with her first? If the family is that busy, this time could be time that she might had been relying on the husband to be with the kids, or time already planned for family.
    Maybe a family gift would be more appreciated? For a family friendly restaurant, a theme park, movies?

    She wants time for herself but never allows herself the time. She shoulders the load in the house.. her husband is very nice but she is very independent and prefers to take care of things. I cleared the tickets with her and she was thankful. She has nothing but family time and needs some alone time.

    Then ask her what she would like to do if she had the time? Sometimes it is a matter of priorities, or of feeling too lazy to schedule something but sometimes it is a very practical problem of not having anyone to watch the kids. And sometimes "I wish I had some free time" is more of a general remark of "can't wait for the kids to grow up" ;)

    See, that's the thing about her. She never complains about time. I just know her well enough to know...
  • Lizzy622
    Lizzy622 Posts: 3,705 Member
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    Have you thought of letting her have a date night with hubby while you baby sit? I know I really appreciated the times my mom took the kids and let hubby and I have a quiet dinner or an adult (not rated G) movie night.

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