Switching to maintenance and feeling guilty.
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Domicinator
Posts: 261 Member
A few days ago, I hit my goal weight of 175 lbs. I thought I might move the goal post again and try for 165 lbs., but to be completely honest, I'm tired of losing weight. Like, REALLY tired of it. It's starting to wear on me, and I feel like if I try pushing myself down another 10 lbs. I will be miserable. What I'd like to do is set MFP to maintenance, try to come in slightly under that number every day, and also try not to eat back my calories from exercise. In fact, I'm thinking about turning off the steps and exercise syncing from my Apple Watch so that I don't focus so much on that equation.
My problem is that I feel guilty. I guess it kind of feels like I'm quitting. I fully recognize that losing 75 lbs. is a big deal, and that going to maintenance after reaching my goal weight is absolutely opposite of quitting. I guess what makes it feel like I'm quitting is that I'm giving into my urge to eat a couple hundred more calories a day. I'm tired of going to bed with my stomach growling and feeling miserable because I can't eat a little more at dinner.
What I'm trying to focus on now is that now that I'm planning to maintain, there may be physical results from exercise. Like I can focus on muscle tone and getting a little less "squishy" in the middle. I'm hoping that's enough to keep me motivated. I don't want to gain this weight back. So there it is--a little bit of fear and a little bit of guilt.
My problem is that I feel guilty. I guess it kind of feels like I'm quitting. I fully recognize that losing 75 lbs. is a big deal, and that going to maintenance after reaching my goal weight is absolutely opposite of quitting. I guess what makes it feel like I'm quitting is that I'm giving into my urge to eat a couple hundred more calories a day. I'm tired of going to bed with my stomach growling and feeling miserable because I can't eat a little more at dinner.
What I'm trying to focus on now is that now that I'm planning to maintain, there may be physical results from exercise. Like I can focus on muscle tone and getting a little less "squishy" in the middle. I'm hoping that's enough to keep me motivated. I don't want to gain this weight back. So there it is--a little bit of fear and a little bit of guilt.
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Replies
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There is such a thing as "diet fatigue". It sounds like you are experiencing this.
You need a break, so you are taking one. Good for you.
Be prepared that your weight will likely go up a few, or several pounds, once you stop restricting your calories severely due to replacement of glycogen stores (water weight). Don't be alarmed. Just keep an eye on it.
You can take a break without it getting out of control by maintaining your exercise regimen, continuing to weigh yourself and track your weight trends (e.g. with trendweight.com or the Happy Scales app), and continuing to notice how your clothes fit and how you look in the mirror.
After a few months of maintenance, you can decide if you want to resume your weight loss to lose the additional ten pounds.
In the mean time concentrate on resistance exercise, building strength, etc.0 -
There is such a thing as "diet fatigue". It sounds like you are experiencing this.
You need a break, so you are taking one. Good for you.
Be prepared that your weight will likely go up a few, or several pounds, once you stop restricting your calories severely due to replacement of glycogen stores (water weight). Don't be alarmed. Just keep an eye on it.
You can take a break without it getting out of control by maintaining your exercise regimen, continuing to weigh yourself and track your weight trends (e.g. with trendweight.com or the Happy Scales app), and continuing to notice how your clothes fit and how you look in the mirror.
After a few months of maintenance, you can decide if you want to resume your weight loss to lose the additional ten pounds.
In the mean time concentrate on resistance exercise, building strength, etc.
Yes, and I think with the nice weather coming, I feel like I can combat the couple hundred extra calories with more outdoor activity and exercise. I have no plans to ever be overweight again if I can help it.0 -
I think you are smart to listen to your body. I've adjusted my calories up and down several times in the last year based on what my head and stomach were telling me. If you are miserable and hungry at your current calorie level, who would tell you to keep that up? Since you've already lost 75 pounds, you don't need me to remind you that if you are hungry it helps to eat larger quantities of foods that are not calorie dense (1/2 cup of ice cream = about 12-15 ounces of carrots) and make sure you are drinking enough water.
It is possible that you are going through a time where your body needs/wants more food. How big of a deficit have you been running each day? If it is 500 calories or more, you could switch to 250 or, as you said, eat maintenance calories but don't eat back some or any of your exercise calories. Or you could eat ALL of the calories you are burning and see how that feels. Give yourself a break (emotionally and physically) and take some time to get used to where you are now. Once you feel good again, you'll know if you want to lose more or just focus your energies on fitness and toning up.0 -
Yeah I've been 'trying' for the same 3-5 pounds for over a year now because I'm still not happy with the way I look, but I'm struggling because it's already hard for me to eat what I'm eating without eating less... yet I still feel guilty when I eat at maintenance.0
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benevempress wrote: »I think you are smart to listen to your body. I've adjusted my calories up and down several times in the last year based on what my head and stomach were telling me. If you are miserable and hungry at your current calorie level, who would tell you to keep that up? Since you've already lost 75 pounds, you don't need me to remind you that if you are hungry it helps to eat larger quantities of foods that are not calorie dense (1/2 cup of ice cream = about 12-15 ounces of carrots) and make sure you are drinking enough water.
It is possible that you are going through a time where your body needs/wants more food. How big of a deficit have you been running each day? If it is 500 calories or more, you could switch to 250 or, as you said, eat maintenance calories but don't eat back some or any of your exercise calories. Or you could eat ALL of the calories you are burning and see how that feels. Give yourself a break (emotionally and physically) and take some time to get used to where you are now. Once you feel good again, you'll know if you want to lose more or just focus your energies on fitness and toning up.
I've been eating 1900 a day for the last several months. When I go over, it's usually by only about 20 or 30 calories at the most. For me, MFP translates that to .5 lbs of weight loss a week. When I switch it to maintenance, I now have 2150 a day to eat. It feels a little better to know that I have a little more to work with if I do that, and I think it will motivate me to exercise more.0 -
Yeah I've been 'trying' for the same 3-5 pounds for over a year now because I'm still not happy with the way I look, but I'm struggling because it's already hard for me to eat what I'm eating without eating less... yet I still feel guilty when I eat at maintenance.
I know the feeling. I don't think I've ever worked at anything harder than I have at losing weight, yet when I reached my goal weight after about a year and PROVED to myself that I had the mindset, the desire, and the willpower to do it, I'm still beating myself up for stopping.
I've done some research using some of the more detailed fitness calculators, and a lot of them say that further weight loss for me at my age/weight/height/gender would really not have much effect on my overall health because I'm already at a healthy weight. I'm trying to remember that, because I'm certainly wrestling with this decision right now.0 -
Diet breaks are not the same as "quitting". In fact, they are great for your metabolism and sanity. They're also a fabulous way to practice maintenance before you get to goal. So what if you want to eat a couple hundred more calories per day-you have done great work and you probably need to do that right now.
Also remember just because you're going into maintenance for a bit, it's not that much easier than a deficit. It's only a couple hundred calories more per day. You still have to be diligent and put in the effort. Don't get down on yourself for this decision.0 -
arditarose wrote: »Diet breaks are not the same as "quitting". In fact, they are great for your metabolism and sanity. They're also a fabulous way to practice maintenance before you get to goal. So what if you want to eat a couple hundred more calories per day-you have done great work and you probably need to do that right now.
Also remember just because you're going into maintenance for a bit, it's not that much easier than a deficit. It's only a couple hundred calories more per day. You still have to be diligent and put in the effort. Don't get down on yourself for this decision.
I'm actually AT goal now--hit it a few days ago. I did the work. By all measures I'm done with the "losing" part. If I never went back to a deficit but stayed at maintenance, I'd be a healthy weight. Which is why it's silly for me to stress about it.
I'm going to continue logging, using my food scale, and keeping track of workouts/steps. I am by no means ready to just trust my instincts on how much I'm eating, and that may never be the case honestly. I really suck at portion control when I'm not keeping a strict log.
MFP gave me a little more than 200 more calories a day for maintenance. I have it set to "sedentary" even though I'm really not sedentary most days. I work a desk job, so I still do a lot of sitting at a desk. I figure if I can stay below that number, the weight will still creep down ever so slowly, or I can fine tune it as I go along. But I feel like my days of 1900 calories a day are over. The hunger is kind of driving me nuts. Historically over the last year, once I up my daily calorie intake, I'm not able to lower it again very easily.
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Congrats on the 75 lbs! That's awesome!
I know for me, switching from "losing mode" to "maintenance mode" was really hard. It messed with my head for weeks. But, that's why you worked so hard to lose it all, so you could get to this point in your journey! So, here you are! Embrace it! But, realize that it is still a challenge to navigate it successfully...
You are correct in stating that you need new goals. This was a huge eye opener for me! If I wasn't going to define my success on the scale, then what would I do? So I set fitness goals. I have two right now: trying to get me some abs, and I'm doing a C25K program. So I've let myself eat more, I'm exercising to meet fitness goals, not just burning calories to lose weight, and I give myself leeway. And since I started maintenance, I've still lost another 10 pounds not even trying to. It's just a half-pound here, two-tenths there... I've been upping my calories even more the last few weeks to try and get even more balance (beer with dinner, you say? Don't mind if I do!).
It's just a new chapter that you'll learn to negotiate, but I would highly recommend you set goals for yourself soon. Try to use that new lean, mean body for something fun!
Good luck!0 -
brian_gunther wrote: »Congrats on the 75 lbs! That's awesome!
I know for me, switching from "losing mode" to "maintenance mode" was really hard. It messed with my head for weeks. But, that's why you worked so hard to lose it all, so you could get to this point in your journey! So, here you are! Embrace it! But, realize that it is still a challenge to navigate it successfully...
You are correct in stating that you need new goals. This was a huge eye opener for me! If I wasn't going to define my success on the scale, then what would I do? So I set fitness goals. I have two right now: trying to get me some abs, and I'm doing a C25K program. So I've let myself eat more, I'm exercising to meet fitness goals, not just burning calories to lose weight, and I give myself leeway. And since I started maintenance, I've still lost another 10 pounds not even trying to. It's just a half-pound here, two-tenths there... I've been upping my calories even more the last few weeks to try and get even more balance (beer with dinner, you say? Don't mind if I do!).
It's just a new chapter that you'll learn to negotiate, but I would highly recommend you set goals for yourself soon. Try to use that new lean, mean body for something fun!
Good luck!
Thanks! Yes, I've been off of my cardio routine for the last month or so because of my stupid back, so my first goal will be to get back on my bike or the Airdyne when weather doesn't cooperate. I discovered the other day that I can now do five chin-ups, which is crazy, because even as a kid I could never even do one! So that has motivated me to perhaps try some light strength training when I feel like my back can handle it again. My weight loss has exposed a quite noticable difference in muscle tone between my right arm and left arm. I'd like to get that remedied, and I'd like to get the stomach a little firmer.
I have been considering starting to work with a trainer who can tailor a program for me according to some of my physical limitations. (I have three bulging discs, nerve damage, and arthritis in my back.) But just in general, I now want to exercise for different reasons than weight loss. At the very least, I want to be out walking daily. I have really been slacking on that too, and that's something I CAN do when my back is bad.1 -
Congrats for hitting your goal! ^_^
Yeah, it does feel weird to switch to maintenance after a long time (three years for me!). I keep thinking that I'm still eating too much because I'm used to a smaller calorie goal! However, if you've hit your goal, work on making adjustments to keep you calories in steady, and like you said, add some extra exercise. Even if it's just walking, that adds calories out as well as helping your body to get into better shape.
You might consider talking to a physical therapist about exercises you can do that won't hurt your back. I had to go to one a few years ago for something else, but she was able to show me some stretches and exercises I could do that didn't strain my back, which was very helpful!0 -
Congratulations! I second the PPs that pointed out that it will still require diligence to maintain. I am feeling guilty about increasing my intake to 1,400 a day. I did 1,500 during spring break. Tall people usually get so many more calories to work with.
If you want to try to maintain a 75 calories deficit to keep edging downward and train for maintenance, that could be a fun challenge to keep up with.0 -
Domicinator wrote: »I've been eating 1900 a day for the last several months. When I go over, it's usually by only about 20 or 30 calories at the most. For me, MFP translates that to .5 lbs of weight loss a week. When I switch it to maintenance, I now have 2150 a day to eat. It feels a little better to know that I have a little more to work with if I do that, and I think it will motivate me to exercise more.
I have a question about the bolded part. Just curious, do you mean that your MFP settings are set up for a loss of 0.5 pounds per week, or do you mean that your actual most recent loss rate is 0.5 pounds per week? Those can be two very different things.
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I can relate to this thread. I've had a hard time mentally switching from losing to maintaining0
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I understand. For much of Feb/early March I was feeling that way. Weight loss slowed way down to almost nothing, I felt hungry and tired of eating at a deficit. I also thought about losing another 5 lbs or so but at the rate I had slowed to, it would have taken a looong time. I decided to shift to recomp instead. (I was already 3 lbs under my initial goal weight.) The scale did bounce back up 2-3 lbs depending on the day. I try not to let that get to me b/c it took me a good six weeks to lose the last 2-3 lbs but like pp said, that's normal. Measurements are the same. I figure once I've maintained for a while, if the recomp isn't doing enough for me I can always go back on a deficit, but I think the "diet fatigue" thing is important to consider.
I'm still working on increasing my calories though; I understand the feeling guilty, and I also worry about the scale creeping back up. I plan to still weigh in a few times a week though to make sure I'm staying on track. (And I'll still log for a while at least.)
Congrats on the 75 lbs lost!0 -
There's nothing wrong with being self-aware enough to know when you need a break. Take your time, enjoy your success, that 165-lb goal will be waiting for you when you're ready.0
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Like others have said, make new goals. Eating at maintenance while beginning a resistance regimen for example. You can stay the same weight and still make solid improvements as far as the mirror is concerned. 175 is about my weight in my profile pic give or take 3-5 lbs.0
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Maintain. It's challenging enough and you can always come back. Take a diet vacation and enjoy your success.0
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Maintenance can be challenging - almost as challenging as losing. But looking to achieve fitness goals is a great thing to do now that you've hit your target weight.0
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