Venting.

allystone
allystone Posts: 134 Member
edited September 2024 in Motivation and Support
I have a friend, who is a loud mouth, where as I'm more the quiet type, well anyways she knows I've been trying to watch my weight and don't want to eat out or drink or go to bars 2-3 times a weeks, as she can go to the bar and not drink, I can't. Well tonight she texted me and was like want to go out to dinner and then to her favorite bar, I kindly said well I'll think about dinner but I'm not going to the bar, she then replied "Well you know you don't have to go to the bar and drink.." and I said I know but I don't want it to be a temptation. Then she didn't reply..for 2 hours and when she finally did she asked me where I wanted to go for dinner, well I didn't text back, I'm tired of her! She does this every week!!!! agh! Sorry venting. Plus I do need to watch my alcohol intake-my family especially my dad and sister have both gotten in a lot of trouble with alcohol and It's affected my life and she knows this, so I should be watching it. Sorry..Thanks for listening.

Replies

  • Heatherbelle_87
    Heatherbelle_87 Posts: 1,078 Member
    If she isnt supportive of what you are doing then yes you need to reduce time with her. Its hard to battle for support with the people who should be doing it automatically! And you dont want to sit there watching her drink unless you are the DD! Now given having a night out to be "bad" isnt always a bad idea! (Ive done it!) it was good theraputically but I did have to drown myself in water the next day to flsuh my system
  • eznaway
    eznaway Posts: 2
    Make it your goal to make yourself the priority. Life's too short!. Like the song by Fantsia goes "I'm doing me". Do you! Your friend should respect your wishes and encourage you to do what's best for you not what works for her. Good luck!
  • paced2day
    paced2day Posts: 55
    Friends can be so hurtful. I totally support you for making wiser choices. You have to consider- sometimes we all need space from friends/or even family who want to happily lead themselves and us into self destructive behavior.
  • charkendrick
    charkendrick Posts: 74 Member
    Sounds like you need a new friend. If you can't go to a bar without drinking, even when you want to, it sounds like you may have a problem. I know this is a diet forum, not an alcohol forum, but I happen to have a drinking and a food problem. Sometimes people have both. I had to focus on the alcohol problem (12 step group, avoiding bars, getting new friends) for a long time. Now I am ready to tackle the food/weight issue. And alcohol problems run in my family, too. Your friend may want you to go along so that she doesn't feel so bad about herself and question why she is frequenting bars so often. Good luck on your weight loss journey! Don't let anyone derail you.
  • Alacey88
    Alacey88 Posts: 486 Member
    If she isnt supportive of what you are doing then yes you need to reduce time with her. Its hard to battle for support with the people who should be doing it automatically! And you dont want to sit there watching her drink unless you are the DD! Now given having a night out to be "bad" isnt always a bad idea! (Ive done it!) it was good theraputically but I did have to drown myself in water the next day to flsuh my system

    I agree with this quote... I am starting to realized that with my friends.... Once I spent less time around people who are not supportive, I felt more alive because I'm not around the negative. I had a friend that likes to party weekly but as you can tell I am not a party person unless it involves with something I like.

    I do have fun with my weekly bowling team mates, they drink but they also know that I am watching what I eat and drink... so they offer me something that is beneficial to me while having a good time with me... Another thing that I have learned from this was that you have to be honest and upfront with your friend. Tell her that you don't like what she is doing, and that if she doesn't want to support you in what you want to do then that you will be spending less time around her....

    I hope this help you any form... if you need any more advice feel free to add me or message me

    ~A
  • allystone
    allystone Posts: 134 Member
    Thanks you guys! It helps to know that, I'm not the only one. I'm just tired of it, I do have a lot of friends who go out nightly -every night it's crazy, and then they think I am crazy when I only go out once maybe every other week, But Not worth it and I'm glad you guys know what I'm talking about.
  • Micheller1210
    Micheller1210 Posts: 460 Member
    Good for you! Be your own best friend, I don't know how old you. take up hiking or a walking club....look in your community paper for classes, you can find hobbies or classes that involve. I have met many wonderful people this way..also do volunteer work.....some suggestions my husband was a heavy alcoholic and I went AA meetings with him so we found classes for him to enjoy , found friends this way and dumped the drinking buddies......
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