Unmotivated & Unsupportive Partners

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lexykassan
lexykassan Posts: 19 Member
in Motivation and Support
It occurred to me this past week that my BF is not good for my health. Not that he's actively trying to work to me detriment, just that he's not thinking about the impacts of his choices.

For instance, he constantly suggests going out to eat at restaurants as our "together" time, rather than doing something more active or that does not involve food. Or he makes food that is really unhealthy (think mac & cheese with ham mixed in) despite the fact that I've planned a healthier meal for the evening. He's also very picky about what he will eat, particularly when it comes to veggies. He doesn't like most of them and, rather than pick them out, will declare that he's going to make something else for himself. We don't have the kind of budget to support two different dinners per night. So I end up compromising to figure out a recipe that will appease his tastes, which usually ends up having far less vegetables than I need.

This is from a guy who constantly says "we need to eat healthier" or "we need to be more active." Yet whenever I suggest something healthier, he shoots it down with some excuse or other.

Does anyone else have a partner who acts this way? If so, what have you done, if anything, to deal with the situation?

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  • jemhh
    jemhh Posts: 14,261 Member
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    My husband does not, in general, eat as nutritionally well-rounded as I do. We still eat one meal. He may eat a side dish that I don't eat or vice versa or he may eat more of one dish than I do and vice versa but it's still the same meal in general. We have been married for nearly 18 years and together for 26 so we have a lot of shared history and have been together through thick (fat) and thin. It is something that we just work around.

    I don't think that togetherness needs to include eating everything the same but if I were unmarried and determining whether or not I wanted to spend a lifetime with somebody I would consider how this is going to play out in the long term. It has never been a problem for us but for other people it might rise to the level of a make it or break it issue, especially if it turns into a financial issue. I can definitely see that as being problematic.
  • jesslynn9293
    jesslynn9293 Posts: 15 Member
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    Have you tried having a serious conversation about it?
    You definitely need to discuss this issue, especially because of the fact that it bothers you.
    You need to express your concerns and express how important it is to you.
    Also discuss the negative impacts on your life and body that it has, and then go into the health benefits of eating better and being active.
    It may just be something that he sort of wants to do, but doesn't take it seriously because it's something he just doesn't think about and doesn't think he has to worry about it "right now". Try to help him understand the importance of doing this "right now"; so many health concerns that you avoid easily by being proactive and going for a healthy lifestyle as soon as possible.

    If you've already talked about it, do it again.
    If he still refuses, then I would say that you definitely need to consider wether it is something that will make or break your relationship. If it is something you can live with and y'all can find a way to work around it, that's great. If not, you don't want to just let it go and end up feeling resentful later.

    Hope this helps. Good luck! =)
  • strelitzia4
    strelitzia4 Posts: 11 Member
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    My husband and I often cook separate meals. It doesn't cost any more as long as we don't throw away the leftovers.

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