Quitting smoking - AGAIN

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Ok, so ive been on this journey to get to be healthier and trimmer. Ive done ok so far. Its been 115 days and ive lost 37 pounds, ive gained a LOT of muscle mass and feel pretty good about how far ive come. I work our daily, take care of myself in every way. My only problem is that I have a wicked tobacco addiction. I quit and then the moment life gets a little stressful, I reach for the butts. I have no coping skills it seems other than that. And what makes it worse is that my mind tells me that the cigarettes make it better, and unfortunately it helps me. I have been smoking since I was 15 years old, on and off. I stopped when I started this journey, and then picked it up again later on. I am so sick of paying money to the tobacco companies to make me sick and probably give me cancer and kill me. Its just so hard. Last time I quit for a long time it was Cold Turkey. I quit years back for at least a year and then things got hard, and then BAM! I went back to it. Its such a love-hate relationship. I feel awful and hate this. Its hard because my boyfriend smokes, so its so easy to grab a cigarette. He doesnt let me take his, but its just when I see them its enough to set me off. And I cant fault him for smoking because he has reasons for doing it too. I just need to learn better coping skills. Ive been down this road, and it always leads back to a cigarette...Its awful...
When I quit before my doctor said "Do what you have to do, even if you wear a patch and chew the nicorette. I would rather you quit like that than keep smoking." And thats how I quit in the past (the last time I quit)....
SO, here I am day one of being a Non-Smoker, AGAIN. I feel depressed about even having to go through this again. I shouldnt have to, I had it licked before. But yet, here I am. Im going to be misserable, but I am so sick of being a smoker. Thanks for letting me vent guys, im just so upset about having to go down this road again.... -Cassie

Replies

  • Andythefitfamilyman
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    I wish you the best of luck, I been trying to quit chewing so I feel your pain of that nicotine lol
  • mbehr1983
    mbehr1983 Posts: 29 Member
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    I thought i was the only one who felt this way. I quit before using Chantix. The last time I quit it was for six months, I started Chantix again and plan on quitting on mon or tuesday nezt week. We should support each other on this.I would recommend Chantix I think its a great drug.
  • jenstanley13
    jenstanley13 Posts: 194 Member
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    Have you tried taking Chantix? That was how my husband and I quit 2 1/2 years ago and neither of us have looked back since. It took the cravings away and we only had to take it for about a month (2 weeks while cutting down, and 2 weeks after our quit date).

    However you decide to quit I wish you luck on your journey, it is one of the hardest habits to break! When you start feeling stressed and reach for that cigarette go take a walk or jog instead, you have to find other ways to deal with the stress...it is hard but it can be done.
  • CassieLEO
    CassieLEO Posts: 757 Member
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    I did try Chantix and it worked, only my insurance doesnt cover it, and I dont have the 200.00 for it out of pocket unfortunately!! :( Thanks guys for all yoru support!!
  • lisab42
    lisab42 Posts: 98 Member
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    Congrats!!!! Keep up the good work. I quit so many times that I think I spent more time quitting than smoking. Don't ever give up, keep quitting. Every time you are tempted, remember the pain of starting this process all over again. I smoked for over 20 years and was up to two packs a day. Smoking was my best friend but I could feel it killing me. For me, the solution was to find something that was completely incompatible with smoking. That was running. After I quit I started running, lost 80 lbs and just ran my first marathon this past May. If I can do it, you can. So keep it up. Add me as a friend if you want and I will support you anytime you feel down. :flowerforyou:
  • blink1021
    blink1021 Posts: 1,118 Member
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    I know its hard I have quit 4x now and hopefully this time for good. I know where you are coming from my husband smokes so it is always there. But I have faith in you this time I think you will do it. I did it Cold Turkey all 4x
  • ilookthetype
    ilookthetype Posts: 3,021 Member
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    I feel you. I quit smoking 2 years ago and then after 9 months started waitressing again. I can't waitress if I'm not smoking. It's sick. I got an office job and I moved in with my best friend who is a smoker. So for a year we smoked after work together while we chatted for hours! I don't think I ever smoked so much in my life. After we moved into separate apartments I moved in with a non-smoker AND I just never bought cigarettes again. It sucks. And sometimes I still crave them and sometime I still cave (when a super close friend out of the blue says they can't talk to you any more...well, I felt I deserved a pack). I avoid to the gas stations/stores where I used to by cigarettes (even if it means taking new and interesting routes to work). I packed celery, cucumbers, and carrots for work when cravings struck. And I told some of the smokers at work I was quitting, they all would ask how I was doing and encourage me in my quitting. ALSO, I facebooked about it everyday. Holy crow, my mom would stalk my status updates and if I missed one she'd call as ask if I had smoked, friends from high school would chime in on bad days, and it was really helpful.

    Also, getting popping corn as a snack. It is low in calories for a huge amount of pop corn (not the microwave kind) and I lived on it when I was quitting, in addition to the Cs (celery, cucumbers, and carrots). Maybe check out E-cigarettes, I don't know much about them but they're supposed to be better than regular ones.

    Those are my suggestions.
  • craft338
    craft338 Posts: 870 Member
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    i quit almost 2 months ago. i used the gum and the e-cig (but the gum was only for a few days, and the e-cig was for 2 or 3 weeks. now i don't need either anymore.

    and any way that you quit is awesome, i don't know what your doctor is talking about "i'd rather you quit that way than keep smoking". just make sure you don't O.D. on nicotine or replace it with something even less healthy. my doctor was like "GUM, PATCH, E-CIG, ANYTHING, EVERYTHING!!!!!" (obviously in moderation lol)

    good luck on your journey!!
  • kymarai
    kymarai Posts: 3,611 Member
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    Quitting is the hardest thing I have done. I call my three previous attempts my practice runs. One was cold turkey, one patch for just two weeks, the third was a patch for 2 months. This past time was Chantix. Worked wonderfully, but I have a great doctor for support. Have been quit for a year and a half. The other night my brain said Cig break time! Whoa! That came out of nowhere! You can do this! Lots of support here! Good luck!
  • dont_u_mean_carrots
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    Cold turkey! It takes about 2 weeks for the body to get over the physical aspects of the addiction. Try to distance yourself from other smokers for this two week period of time. Don't let yourself even have "just one" once you quit. Just one will end up being well another will not hurt then you're bumming off everyone you know for a few weeks then once they are upset with you, you're just folding and buying packs again.

    If you're going to bars, clubs, or casino type places where smoke is in the air it's going to be harder to keep away, esp. if everyone you're with is lighting up. I guess I'm lucky here since most of my family are non-smokers so all of our family events tend to be relatively smoke free environments.

    Do you fill up your own gas tank and pay inside? Start using your card at the pump. Sometimes the gas stations have cards you can even get that earn rewards for free gas or cheaper gas. Try to never go into a convenient store again because all they are IMHO are cigarette marketing machines who's dials go to 11. It's very hard to pay with all those dear friends sitting behind the counter. Try to prevent/avoid triggers that cause you to buy them. Of course in order to do this you may need to start writing down or listing triggers so you can identify them and perhaps move your thinking into something else that takes your mind of the smokes.

    When you quit don't quit at the end of a pack, rather, the middle of a pack. Destroy them and watch them get destroyed. It does something to the brain I think that gives your quitting finality and you're not left in the i need to buy another pack mode.

    I'm no pro, but I've successfully stopped tobacco for 6+ years using these methods and not had a single one since throwing away that half of pack. The mental urge though will never go away so just know that and learn to navigate around it.

    EDIT: Also you mentioned $200 was not available for medication to assist in quitting. If your 1 pack a day averages $5 you would have an extra $1,825 at the end of the year.
  • sculptandtone
    sculptandtone Posts: 300 Member
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    After 30 years and a HARDCORE pack a day habit (first thing i did in the morning, would leave airports and redo security just to have a smoke) and NUMEROUS unsuccessful attempts, I found the easiest method ever. I've been smoke free for 8 months. Sure, I had some nailbiter moments, but they passed and I will NEVER have another cigarette again, guaranteed. The secret? A 20-dollar book called Allan Carr's Easy Way to Quit Smoking. Get it today and start reading, you smoke throughout the whole thing, so there's no reason to talk yourself out of starting it. I can't believe the years I wasted and stress and tears I went through trying cold turkey and with nicotine replacements. Just get it. It will change your life. And no, I am not a "self help book" addict. I think most of those books are common sense for a big price tag. This is different.
  • tam120
    tam120 Posts: 444 Member
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    I quit August 6 2007 ,for the third or fourth and final time, I can never ever have one puff or I'm right back where I started. I read this site: http://www.quitsmokingonline.com/ it gave me a whole new perspective on the emotional/mental stuff. I sat at the kitchen table with the final pack of cigarettes and tore each one of them up into pieces and threw them in the trash, except one. The last one I removed all the tobacco and inserted a cut straw. I then used that as a crutch when I really needed it (when drinking). One of the hardest parts for me was driving because that's where I did the most smoking since I didn't smoke at work or in the house. I kept a bag of dum-dums in the car and when I got in the car (normally I pushed the lighter in as soon as I started it - it was actually such a habit that even after I quit I caught myself pushing in the lighter) I'd pick up a dum dum instead. It was hard but the best thing I did was to follow quitsmokingonline and believed that I was a non-smoker so smoking is never an option. It was a bit easier for me because my husband doesn't smoke and really didn't like that I did. I know how hard it is to quit when you're constantly with someone who smokes, my ex smoked when I was trying to quit years and years ago and he had no desire to quit - obviously I started smoking again.
    Good luck to you!
  • redfroggie
    redfroggie Posts: 591 Member
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    In 3 weeks I will be celebrating 2 years smoke-free! You can do this. I had quit previously as well and failed. After watching my Mom suffer and succumb to lung cancer (she smoked 2 packs a day) I knew I had to do something. I did not want my kids to go through what I did. It took me 2 years to get to the point where I knew I could do it. I got on Champix (UK version) and 6 weeks later I was done. Change your other habits that you associate with smoking. If you have a cig right after a meal, eat in a different room and get up and do the dishes immediately. If you have a cig first thing in the morning, change it up. Get out of bed, do a few quick jumping jacks, get in the shower and get dressed. Just do something else until the craving passes. You can do this and never stop quitting. Good luck!
  • dls06
    dls06 Posts: 6,774 Member
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    I'm going cold turkey again. Good luck.
  • Let_there_be_LIGHT
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    I quit more than 10 years ago and I feel so good about it that I am a "pain in the *kitten*" trying to encourge people to quit.

    I promise you, if you quit you will come to realise that it was the best thing you ever did...... really the best thing. That good!

    Obviously with your progress on loosing weigth and getting yourself in to good and healthy shape your head is in the right place.
    Well done on that. In a way you are half way down the road

    You are now ready for the next step - quitting cigarettes.

    If you could do it cold turkey that would be great.

    I used nicotine patches when I did it. They worked for me. However they only worked for me when I got my head in the right place. By that I mean I really wanted to get away from smoking. Prior to that I had tried them a few times unsucessfully.

    I stopped using patches three weeks after I quit. For months I used to carry a few patches around with me - had one at the office, had one at home, had one in the car. This was my emergency patch - "my crutch" if you like. If I ever really got to the point where I was desperate I would have used a patch to tide me over. But I never used any of them and eventually threw them all away.

    Whatever you use - only use it temporarily - a few weeks or a few months at most.

    I have a few friends who just seem to have substituted one addiction for another. Using gum or patches instead of cigarettes - and I think that just keeps up the association with cigarettes in your mind.

    I understand your struggle. I have been there.
    I really wish you well and hope you
  • MzMiller1215
    MzMiller1215 Posts: 633 Member
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    My last cigarette was in July of 2006. Prior to that, I had tried to quit 3 times. I finally made up my mind that I would never smoke again. I had battled bronchitis and asthma which my smoking didn't help. I also associated drinking with smoking. I couldn't do one without the other. So, when I quit cold turkey for several months I had to stop drinking so the urge wouldn't be so bad. After about 4 months, it got better. I won't lie and say that there weren't times that I craved a cigarette, especially when I was super stressed out but, I fought the urge. Now, even the smell of a cigarette makes me nauseous.

    Try to think of quitting smoking like trying to lose weight. With losing weight, you have to change your eating habits. Smoking is a habit like bad eating is a habit. I have found throughout my weight loss journey that I am an emotional eater; if I'm depressed--I eat, if I am feeling celebratory--I want to eat, if I am bored--I eat.......all of it is something that I have grown accustomed to, which has caused me to be somewhat depressed when I have to struggle with resisting the urge to binge on some candy or junk food in general.

    You will be able to quit if you mentally tell yourself that you won't allow it anymore....and that's THAT!

    Good luck Cassie! I know you can do it!
  • Thriceshy
    Thriceshy Posts: 707 Member
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    More than anything, you need to work on how you think about cigarettes. Your thinking on the tobacco companies is a good step in the right direction. Cigarettes actually cause the very stress they relieve, and changing how you view them will do wonders for your state of mind when it comes to quitting.

    I smoked for 26 years, 2-3 packs a day. I quit cold turkey 5 1/2 years ago. I haven't craved in five years, and weeks go by when I don't even think about smoking at all. Changing how I viewed them made all the difference. I stopped viewing them as rewards or treats and started really considering how lousy they made me feel. How they made my throat tight and itchy, how my breathing popped and crackled, how my chest felt tight and my mornings were spend hacking up chunks of crap. For those first months, whenever I'd crave, I'd really concentrate on the memory of how crappy I felt most of the time when I smoked. Then I'd remember how it wasn't every smoke that felt good, or even every 10th smoke. No, I'd say maybe one smoke out of 500 felt really good. The rest varied from no feeling at all to lousy. I remember the first really big laugh I had without choking--see, my lungs and throat were so hammered by smoking that, for ten years, I couldn't laugh without choking and hacking. So I used to do my best not to laugh because it was embarrassing. Now I can laugh--and I do. A lot.

    Between my husband and I, we smoked a carton every two days. 14 cartons a month. At today's prices, that's around $1,120 a month. That's more than our rent these days. The first year we'd quit, we rewarded ourselves with a ten day vacation to Disney/Legoland/Seaworld for us, our boy, and our niece and nephew. The year after that? A 17 day east coast vacation. And the next year? 21 days, for us, our boy, and our niece and nephew. Before we quit, we were lucky if we could afford a weekend camping trip.

    You can quit. You can, you can change how you think so that the next time a stressful moment hits, you can roll your eyes and laugh at the idea of lighting up. The things that helped me physically were icewater when a craving hit (don't know why, but it helps), sugar free coffee nips for the taste and mouth business, cleaning out every place I smoked so that those areas became smoke-free, engaging in activities I'd never smoked during (like needlepoint), and getting rid of all my smoking accoutrements. I also started hanging out on the about.com smoking cessation boards (hundreds of folks in various stages of their quits--amazing advice and support), and I downloaded a quit meter to my computer to keep track of my progress. Silkquit has a great one for free.

    I am happy to support you. Being a non-smoker is amazing, it's so much cooler and better that I imagined it would be. Quitting smoking is a reward, it's a gift to me that keeps giving. When I think that I used to view the cigarettes and all the terrible things they did to me as a reward, I cringe. My Aunt died of lung cancer, and that came from a lfetime of smoking. She deserved better. I deserve better. You deserve better. Reward yourself!

    Kris

    Edited to say that my husband quit two weeks after I did, and my Mom and sister quit 4 months after that. So we went from all smokers to all non-smokers!
  • mardris
    mardris Posts: 5
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    I am right there with you Cassie, I know I want to quit and I have done it so many times before cold turkey. I know I can do it but I know how much it sucks to go through. I feel like I am a mean mommy when I am withdrawing from nicotine. I keep telling myself this is the last pack I am going to buy. It is stupid because I only smoke like 3-5 ciggs a day. Why then can't I quit? I have such a routine with it. I don't smoke in my house or around the kids so I reach for them like a reward when I drop them off at daycare or when I am out of work, and when they are in bed. I hate the addiction. And I feel your pain with no coping skills I don't have any either. I turn to food as it is I am so afraid of that happening. I am proud of you for just throwing them down cold turkey. I feel like I can do it but I don't feel strong enough yet, my plan is to set a date and be done. I have done that so many times before and thrown it away with oh one won't hook me, sure it does every time.
  • karensoxfan
    karensoxfan Posts: 902 Member
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    You know I'm here to support you, and you know I'm seeing directly how awful lung cancer can be with my dad. It sucks. There's no other way to put it. He quit cold turkey over 40 years ago, my MIL has quit for over a year, and at least one good friend of mine has been smoke-free for almost 2 years.

    I agree with your Dr. to try anything & everything until you find the solution that works.

    I can relate to so much of what you wrote, even though I've never smoked a day in my life, because it's how I feel about using food as my coping mechanism for stress. I've successfully lost weight before, but lately, feel like I have been starting over & over & over again, kicking myself every time I slip (hello, perfectionism!), or every time I show a gain on the scale.

    I'm proud of you for admitting you've smoked again, but even prouder of you for asking for help again. It seems like when you ask for help with something, it seems a little harder every time, but I hope you'll ask for help & support EVERY time you need it. I wrote on your wall that if you want to call me when you have cravings, I'd be glad to use my cancer experience to talk you down from them, and I mean it.

    Just like eating right & exercising, you'll only really be healthy if you can quit tobacco too. And with all the money you save, just think of the rewards you could buy for yourself! ;)
  • Aspynmom
    Aspynmom Posts: 166 Member
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    Hey Cassie,

    I'm on day 3 of Zyban. I can't even tell you which quit attempt number I am on, only that this time it feels different. They say you have to "want to," and I think this time I truly do. I hope so! I'm ready to throw the pack down today because they are already starting to taste funky from the Zyban, but I don't want to rush it as that's how I've failed in the past. The possibility of weight gain has been one of my biggest factors for not being able to quit. Now that I've seen I CAN lose weight with a little hard work, I know I have the tools now to work off any weight I gain in this process. Not to mention I just want to run better and not have my lungs hold me back.

    Hang in there and do what you have to do to quit. We all know it's what we need to do. 6 months goes pretty quick, right? I'd like to think I'll have a hard 6 months then it will get easier....we shall see!

    Friend me if you want and we can support each other!!!!