Disappointment that no one notices?

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ShrinkingScientist
ShrinkingScientist Posts: 68 Member
in Motivation and Support
Does anyone get disappointed when people don't notice their weight loss? I haven't seen my dad and stepmother in months. I've lost 34 lbs since I last saw them, but no notice of it at all.

I know I shouldn't be looking for positive reinforcement from other people, but I'm still kind of disappointed. Does anyone relate?

Replies

  • LuckyNumbers
    LuckyNumbers Posts: 208 Member
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    I've been feeling that way lately, too. But, I also took a step back and reflected on the way that I react to physical changes in people, and you know? I usually don't comment. Some people feel like a comment (positive or negative) can be insulting, upsetting, etc.

    So don't take it personally. Just keep focusing on the way you feel and your accomplishments. Thirty-four pounds lost is tremendous!
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,874 Member
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    Talking about one's weight in general is rather taboo...people notice, but it's not something people talk about generally and for good reason...just do a search on this forum and you will find all kinds of people who can't take a compliment and interpret, "hey, have you lost weight? You look great." to mean "man...you used to look like a big fat piece of *kitten*."
  • puffbrat
    puffbrat Posts: 2,806 Member
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    I think we all have to remember that there is a difference between people noticing and people saying something to you. Some people may not notice, but I'm sure others have but don't feel comfortable commenting. It is pretty deeply ingrained in most of us not to comment on other people' weight. Like @LuckyNumbers said, positive or negative comments can be seen as insulting, plus you never know if someone is losing weight deliberately or due to illness, etc.

    34lbs lost is great! Keep going and I'm sure eventually people will start commenting :)
  • CollieFit
    CollieFit Posts: 1,683 Member
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    It's difficult for other people because they're damned if they do and damned if they don't.

    You say nothing because you assume someone may not wish their body remarked upon, or you DO say something like "Wow, you lost weight - you look great!" but what they hear is "Wow wasn't it about time you lost that weight, you looked awful!"

    Sometimes you just can't win.
  • CollieFit
    CollieFit Posts: 1,683 Member
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    Wolfman... I must have been typing at the same time as you. LOL
  • VioletRojo
    VioletRojo Posts: 596 Member
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    People can't win on this topic. Every day we see posters complaining that the people around them won't stop commenting on their weight loss, then we see other posters complaining that no one comments. The truth is that unless you lost 100 pounds over night, I probably wouldn't notice. And if I did notice I wouldn't comments because it's not polite.
  • sanfromny
    sanfromny Posts: 770 Member
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    Sometimes be careful what you wish for. I Facetimed with my mom this weekend who hasn't seen me in months. The first words out her mouth were "What's wrong with you? You look sick, Have you been to the doc, he might need to check your bloodwork" I asked her what was she talking about and she told me that my weight loss made me look sick and that I didn't look right. Ummm..Ok thanks. I'm 5'2" and currently 155. It's been rattling in my mind since our conversation. I could've done without it.
  • hunkofmexican
    hunkofmexican Posts: 128 Member
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    NOT ME , i was SO FAT , how could they not notice .... My apology to you on their behalf . standing next to the cars clearly show how much you have lost .... you don't have a spare tire like the rest .... : ) Keep losing till you disappear and they say WHERE is she .... Good Job on the 34 pounds .
  • SezxyStef
    SezxyStef Posts: 15,268 Member
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    CollieFit wrote: »
    It's difficult for other people because they're damned if they do and damned if they don't.

    You say nothing because you assume someone may not wish their body remarked upon, or you DO say something like "Wow, you lost weight - you look great!" but what they hear is "Wow wasn't it about time you lost that weight, you looked awful!"

    Sometimes you just can't win.

    Yup there was a MFP blog about this on FB this morning.

    I've lost up to 60lbs to date and yah there are comments...like....you are so much more fun now that you're not fat...or wow you have lost so much weight you look so good now...

    some people hear the negative side some here the positive side...but to be honest I don't care if anyone notices...I did it for me not them.
  • allison4224
    allison4224 Posts: 80 Member
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    I would be totally disappointed, too. After all your hard work - and you can even notice a difference in yourself. If it were me and family - I would fish for a compliment - Hey guys, I lost 34 pounds - what do you think? How do I look? At least there you're giving them permission to talk about your weight - if that was something they were uncomfortable about.
  • sdeeb1950
    sdeeb1950 Posts: 15 Member
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    I don't appreciate it when people say negative things when they do notice, like "you are getting too skinny" - at your age "people don't look good skinny"..... Well EXCUSE me..... Rant over
  • lisalewis7588
    lisalewis7588 Posts: 76 Member
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    I am an extremely observant person and I usually notice things like weight loss, new hair cut/color, new glasses, heck even new jewelry... but I have honestly stopped commenting for the most part because a lot of people react negatively to compliments (it's like they think I'm saying negative things about how they USED to look). For example, I've had people say "Oh, you noticed that I'm just slightly less fat than before, thanks for pointing that out," "Did you notice all my grey hairs before I dyed my hair, too?", & "Are you stalking me?".

    (Maybe I need to work on my complimenting skillz, I don't know). ;)

    So it's not necessarily that people don't notice or don't think you look amazing! Sometimes the most observant people are also the shyest.

    Keep doing you <3
  • amyn73
    amyn73 Posts: 241 Member
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    I hear ya on people acknowledging your great success. I've gained and lost the same 50 pounds about 4 times in my life, lol. I've had different responses each time. Sometimes the comments were too much, sometimes I wished people would notice. Its a very difficult balance. Just know that your accomplishment is still fabulous, regardless if the opinions if others. Keep it up!!
  • NaturalNancy
    NaturalNancy Posts: 1,093 Member
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    I agree w the comments above.
    But if YOU notice that's the most important!
    But yeah that would be kinda dissapointing...
    For "fun" can you show your family a before and after pic, see what they say?
    Some ppl don't want to offend and make comments and some ppl might be jealous because they haven't lost any weight.
    34lbs is a great accomplishment, way to go!!!
    Be proud of yourself!

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