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All or nothing mentality is killing me. Help!?

Last month, I went on a 6 day binge-eating spree and gained 5 pounds as a result of it. I felt extremely guilty and decided to completely change my diet (eliminate all sugar except for fresh fruit) and exercise every day. I also eliminated dairy, eggs, soy, and most forms of meat. It took a good two weeks to lose just one pound, but the scale magically dropped another 3 after five weeks of following my rigorous exercise and diet plan. I truly believe that eliminating sugar helped with my cravings and I rarely got the urge to binge without the addictive white substance. I was determined that I would be able to go 2+ months without binging again, but as soon as I got an exercise-induced injury that became dangerously infected, everything changed. I wasn't able to turn to exercise to release endorphin's anymore and I had to take a form of antibiotics that contained sugar in the ingredients list. Knowing that I was already ingesting poison, this gave my brain permission to introduce more junk into my diet. The sugar brought back my old cravings and all hell broke loose in the kitchen. I just finished my second consecutive binge of the week and have already gained back 4 or the 5 pounds that took me one month to lose! I know that if I never had to take medication loaded with sugar and if I never got this injury, I would've never binged. What do I do for the 5 more days I have left until I get to finish this medication? I want to go back to my clean eating exercise plan asap and it kills me knowing that I can't. Thanks for reading this lengthy post. Advice would be greatly appreciated.

Replies

  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,465 Member
    You are absolutely right. It's the all or nothing thinking that is holding you back. Five pounds is nothing. People can fluctuate that much on water weight in a single day.

    Here's the extreme language in your paragraph above:

    "...extremely guilty....completely change...exercise every day...magically... rigorous exercise...addictive white substance...dangerously infected...everything changed...poison...introduce...all hell broke loose in the kitchen...loaded with sugar...clean eating exercise plan asap...it kills me knowing that I can't.

    If I were you I'd look in to ways to redirect your thinking and stop worrying about the eating for a while. You realize the only sugar in your life-saving antibiotic is the coating, right? Not enough to keep a mouse alive.

    "I also eliminated dairy, eggs, soy, and most forms of meat." Out of curiosity, what's left to eat?

    Your weight fluctuations are normal. There is no magic to the scale, no poison in the sugar, and no dire consequences from straying from your diet. The all-or-nothing thinking, however, is leading you down a path where any rest or any treat at all is viewed as a threat to your stability. It's the thinking that is leading you down the path of destruction. Deal with that.

    http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2679512/
  • musicfan68
    musicfan68 Posts: 898 Member
    With the way you are thinking, you aren't going to stick to the diet at all. It isn't all or nothing. And obsessing about an antibiotic? It isn't poison. Get over it. You need it. It isn't going to kill you, and won't derail your weight loss for the rest of your life. Finish the antibiotic and move on.. Good luck with such a restrictive diet.
  • radaubs
    radaubs Posts: 115 Member
    edited March 2016
    jgnatca wrote: »
    You are absolutely right. It's the all or nothing thinking that is holding you back. Five pounds is nothing. People can fluctuate that much on water weight in a single day.

    Here's the extreme language in your paragraph above:

    "...extremely guilty....completely change...exercise every day...magically... rigorous exercise...addictive white substance...dangerously infected...everything changed...poison...introduce...all hell broke loose in the kitchen...loaded with sugar...clean eating exercise plan asap...it kills me knowing that I can't.

    If I were you I'd look in to ways to redirect your thinking and stop worrying about the eating for a while. You realize the only sugar in your life-saving antibiotic is the coating, right? Not enough to keep a mouse alive.

    "I also eliminated dairy, eggs, soy, and most forms of meat." Out of curiosity, what's left to eat?

    Your weight fluctuations are normal. There is no magic to the scale, no poison in the sugar, and no dire consequences from straying from your diet. The all-or-nothing thinking, however, is leading you down a path where any rest or any treat at all is viewed as a threat to your stability. It's the thinking that is leading you down the path of destruction. Deal with that.

    http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2679512/

    I agree! Couldn't have said it better myself. It seems you have some underlying control issues that you should take care of. Focusing on that instead of a diet will probably help you lose weight faster.
  • kwhit1212
    kwhit1212 Posts: 2 Member
    One experience I had....teaching a toddler to stop suckling his thumb can't be done overnight, it is a habit he's had his whole life! Changing your eating overnight so drastically is unrealistic. This isn't a diet, it is a new lifestyle. Cutting everything you love to eat all at once is going to send you into a sprial. Your caloric intake should include a small portion of yummy. I allowed myself 1 girl scout cookie every few days, now I get a small Cadbury cream egg every few days. Sweets are my indulgence. If you feel you need to change your diet so radically, eliminate 1 thing at a time, adjust to it for a few weeks, and then eliminate the next. I found that stopping myself from snacking is just as hard as quitting smoking.
  • coalz
    coalz Posts: 308 Member
    Yup what everyone else said! Everything in moderation. You're bopping from one extreme to the next & it's messing with your mind & body. I'm all for cleansing/ food elimination diet to clear the digestive track but you should be allowed to slowly reintroduce the foods you love back into your regular eating habits. Maybe you'll discover you do have a sensitivity to eggs or dairy or soy & you'll know what foods to avoid in the future. Unless you do experience some sort of symptomatic allergic reaction there's no reason not to eat them! & especially when taking antibiotics you want to make sure your taking probiotics! You can find them in yogurt, kombucha or supplements.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,741 Member
    Sugar coating on pills is poison? :huh: :noway:
  • AlysonKrenning
    AlysonKrenning Posts: 1 Member
    Find a diet plan you can follow for the rest of your life. Everything in moderation. There is nothing wrong with meat, dairy, eggs, etc. Start looking at what is in your food. Carbs, protein, potassium, etc. Don't under eat to compensate for over eating. You'll put your body in starvation mode and it will take longer to lose the weight. Stay focused. Don't let one bad meal decision turn into a week of bad decisions.
  • Mapalicious
    Mapalicious Posts: 412 Member
    jgnatca wrote: »
    You are absolutely right. It's the all or nothing thinking that is holding you back. Five pounds is nothing. People can fluctuate that much on water weight in a single day.

    Here's the extreme language in your paragraph above:

    "...extremely guilty....completely change...exercise every day...magically... rigorous exercise...addictive white substance...dangerously infected...everything changed...poison...introduce...all hell broke loose in the kitchen...loaded with sugar...clean eating exercise plan asap...it kills me knowing that I can't.

    If I were you I'd look in to ways to redirect your thinking and stop worrying about the eating for a while. You realize the only sugar in your life-saving antibiotic is the coating, right? Not enough to keep a mouse alive.

    "I also eliminated dairy, eggs, soy, and most forms of meat." Out of curiosity, what's left to eat?

    Your weight fluctuations are normal. There is no magic to the scale, no poison in the sugar, and no dire consequences from straying from your diet. The all-or-nothing thinking, however, is leading you down a path where any rest or any treat at all is viewed as a threat to your stability. It's the thinking that is leading you down the path of destruction. Deal with that.

    http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2679512/

    @jgnatca has done a really cool thing here, pointing out the words you describe your relationship to food and exercise with. Would you ever talk about someone else's relationship to food that way?

    Change your language, don't let yourself spiral, and find someone to TALK about these feelings with. Once you hear them come out of your mouth, you'll realize how much they just don't make sense.

    When I want to binge I go to my partner (or call, if he's away) and talk to him about it. He'll hug me, and maybe we'll take a walk, and his sweetness is 10x better than the sugar i would have consumed. And usually my cravings just about OTHER emotions anyway.
  • rosebarnalice
    rosebarnalice Posts: 3,411 Member
    I call that all-or-nothing mindset "hyperjudging".

    It's bad when I hyperjudge what I eat; but it's even worse when I hyperjudge MYSELF and find myself thinking that I'm a "bad" person because I have eaten "bad" food or because I have engaged in "bad" behavior. It seems to be the worst when I am unreasonable in my expectations and demand things of myself like WORK OUT EVERY DAY FOR TWO HOURS! ABSOLUTELY NO CARBS!, Those kinds of demands set me up for failure.

    What helps me is to sit down and SERIOUSLY AND REASONABLY PLAN MY MEALS for two or three days-- maybe breakfast, lunch and dinner and two snacks per day -- making an effort to make good choices, but also making an effort to be reasonable in my expectations and not demand unsustainable restrictions.

    For example, today for lunch I had a napa cabbage, celery, and and chicken breast salad with ponzu and satay sauce (~330 calories) and for dessert a small chocolate brownie (~120 calories). The brownie is not a "BAD" food--it's just food. And I am NOT a bad person because I ate it.

    Take a deep breath, give yourself some love and forgiveness, and dont' set yourself up for failure by making superhuman demands of yourself. You're human. And that's OK!!!!!
  • Scamd83
    Scamd83 Posts: 808 Member
    Sugar is not poison, it's your obsession with demonising sugar that is probably creating your unhealthy relationship with it. Restricting it like that is causing you to crash, you'll be much better off having it in moderation so you can learn some control. Good luck.
  • kaylajane11
    kaylajane11 Posts: 313 Member
    krenal wrote: »
    Find a diet plan you can follow for the rest of your life. Everything in moderation. There is nothing wrong with meat, dairy, eggs, etc. Start looking at what is in your food. Carbs, protein, potassium, etc. Don't under eat to compensate for over eating. You'll put your body in starvation mode and it will take longer to lose the weight. Stay focused. Don't let one bad meal decision turn into a week of bad decisions.

    This is incorrect. Starvation mode as your are describing it does not exist.
  • sanfromny
    sanfromny Posts: 776 Member
    Learn to balance your meals. Stop being so restrictive and you won't crave as much