How rude is it?

Crystal_Rudolph
Crystal_Rudolph Posts: 632 Member
edited September 28 in Health and Weight Loss
I am going up to my parents over the 4th for 4 days. They eat healthy, but not quite like me. For example, dinner will include a huge steak, salad, potatoes, and some fancy dessert. Breakfast will include scrambled eggs with cheese, bacon, and bagels. Lunch is always sandwiches with non-baked chips. Plus TONS OF SNACKS!!!

How rude is it of me if I bring up some of my own food to cook with everyone else's? For example chicken instead of steak, my protein drinks and fiber bars instead of eggs and bacon, or even my own mini-rice cakes instead of chips and my own snacks?

I am not worried about the exercise part though. They all sleep in, so I can do my walks and mini-workouts early in the morning. Plus they live on a lake, so I plan to do lots of swimming.

Is it rude or do I just chalk up the 4 days to a complete loss?
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Replies

  • Keegansmum6
    Keegansmum6 Posts: 193 Member
    I don't think it's rude at all. Just think of the money they will be saving if they don't have to buy that extra steak :)
  • music_lover_103
    music_lover_103 Posts: 118
    i don't think its rude if you talk to them and explain it beforehand. if you didn't offer an explanation, however, they might be offended. maybe you could go halfway and eat some of your stuff and some of theirs? just a thought.

    good luck!
  • Mixmode
    Mixmode Posts: 332
    Well you gotta look at the dynamic between you and your in-laws. But really I would say since you have lost 30+ already, they will surely notice and get a true understanding as to why you are bringing your own healthy options to the table.
  • BamBam1113
    BamBam1113 Posts: 542 Member
    I wouldn't see it as rude. I took my own food to my birthday cookout at my parents' bc they were doing hot dogs and hamburgers. I took chicken for myself to grill. lol
  • Hodar
    Hodar Posts: 338 Member
    You've lost 32 lbs!! Your parents will most definitely understand, and will probably commend you on your effort. Just open up and share with them, like you have with us. Chances are, they will do their best to have healthy alternatives available for you, and encourage you on your journey. I know that's what would happen at my house.
  • Daisy_May
    Daisy_May Posts: 505 Member
    This is your parents! I think if anyone in the world you don't have to worry about offending it's them. Trust me I'm sure they want you to be healthy,
    I'm going to my parents for dinner this weekend and I'm bringing healthy snacks for before hand for everyone and a healthy desert, then I'll bring a chicken breast or something for dinner just for myself.
  • cartern1
    cartern1 Posts: 270 Member
    They're your parents - I'm sure they'll understand.

    Maybe you could also offer to cook them dinner one evening ? They might enjoy it!
  • AlsDonkBoxSquat
    AlsDonkBoxSquat Posts: 6,128 Member
    I did this when I went to visit my sis.
  • hroush
    hroush Posts: 2,073 Member
    I would definitely tell them your plans to do so, so they aren't taken off guard and planned for you to eat what they are having.
  • RTricia
    RTricia Posts: 720
    They're your parents - I'm sure they'll understand.

    Maybe you could also offer to cook them dinner one evening ? They might enjoy it!

    I agree. Plus, if they give you too much hassle, say you've been having stomach issues and these are the foods that don't bother your tummy. Saves me every time.
  • bizco
    bizco Posts: 1,949 Member
    I don't think its rude at all. When I visit my parents I always bring some of my own foods. They are not insulted in the least and they're very happy about my lifestyle change.

    Now...if I could just cut down on the booze I drink when I go "home" all would be good. At precisely 5:00pm every day my parents are on the deck with cocktails. You could set your watch by it. It's hilarious. Mom is 64, stepdad is 73.
  • doobabe
    doobabe Posts: 436 Member
    I dont think it is rude. My parents actually keep alternatives that I will eat in the house if I am coming over. For example- I am a vegetarian so they keep veggie burgers on hand if they are grilling. I dont think it would be unreasonable at all to bring things that you want to eat.
  • Kelly_Wilson1990
    Kelly_Wilson1990 Posts: 3,245 Member
    I let people know in advance that I am on a special diet when I go visit family and friends. No one have ever thought me rude for bringing my own food.
  • Mishy
    Mishy Posts: 1,551 Member
    I don't think it is rude at all. I think it is smart! Enjoy your vacation!
  • wewon
    wewon Posts: 838 Member
    I agree with whoever said, the dynamics that you're working with is the biggest factor here and how it will be interpreted.

    I also don't think its rude considering that they most likely already know your plan/strategy and won't take your behavior personally.

    That all being said, is one day of eating less than healthy really going to make a difference?
  • godroxmysox
    godroxmysox Posts: 1,491 Member
    i don't think its rude if you talk to them and explain it beforehand. if you didn't offer an explanation, however, they might be offended. maybe you could go halfway and eat some of your stuff and some of theirs? just a thought.

    good luck!

    This is what I was thinking as well....talk to them about it beforehand!
  • Dcgfeller
    Dcgfeller Posts: 83
    Why couldnt you just take smaller portions? I hardly consider steak and a salad to be a bad meal decision unless you down a 26 Oz hunk of meat and load up your potato with butter and sour cream. Avoid dessert and skip the chips if you wish.


    As for the question you asked, I don't think it would be a problem to bring your own food, but at the same time part of the "lifestyle" change of weight loss has to be adapting to what is available...do you want to be packing a chicken breast every time you go somewhere to eat for the rest of your life?
  • melodyg
    melodyg Posts: 1,423 Member
    I don't think it is rude to bring your own thing but I also think this could be a good opportunity to work with what you have and compromise a bit. For example... bring chicken for the grill (no big deal to make it instead of steak) but eat a slightly healthier breakfast with their stuff (eggs without cheese/bacon, maybe bring some fruit for the family?). I would bring snacks to share that are healthy rather than just doing your own thing... maybe offer to make a few side dishes or a nice salad?
  • ivyjbres
    ivyjbres Posts: 612 Member
    They're your parents, not your in-laws. Bringing food to your parents in never rude. Frankly, if you bring extra, its thoughtful.
  • ivyjbres
    ivyjbres Posts: 612 Member
    grrr... double post!
  • Jdismybug1
    Jdismybug1 Posts: 443 Member
    I don't think it's rude.
    I'm supposed to be going to my in laws. (tahoe forest) They eat pretty good for the most part, I just have to watch my portion sizes. I'm going to bring my jillian michaels dvd with me. I'm also going to go for walks with my mother in law, I don't like walking alone up there because there have been a lot of mountain lion sighting, and the fact that there have been a few times that his mom has seen bears roaming around during the day.
  • Jdismybug1
    Jdismybug1 Posts: 443 Member
    I don't think it's rude.
    I'm supposed to be going to my in laws. (tahoe forest) They eat pretty good for the most part, I just have to watch my portion sizes. I'm going to bring my jillian michaels dvd with me. I'm also going to go for walks with my mother in law, I don't like walking alone up there because there have been a lot of mountain lion sighting, and the fact that there have been a few times that his mom has seen bears roaming around during the day.

    BTW everyone tells me that if you see a bear try to look bigger and make noise it will scare it. Well I'm 5ft tall, looking big isn't that easy, I could probably scare off a small cub, but I can be loud. I've been told I am very loud for such a little person.
  • chelekaz
    chelekaz Posts: 847 Member
    I do not think that it is rude at all. As a matter of fact when we go to my Aunt and Uncle's for the 4th we always take my step daughter her own food. She is a vegetarian and will not eat anything that touches or is near meat!
  • OregonCountryGirl
    OregonCountryGirl Posts: 53
    I also do not believe it to be rude! In order for anyone to succeed we need to surround ourselves with good influences! If you explain it to them and they become offended then I would simply say I want a better life for myself and in order for me to keep moving towards my goal I need to eat certain things. And then take your foods cook and eat them without making a big deal about it! Family will learn to respect this as my family has. They took it personal at first and then when they saw my body and the results and even came to my house and saw that I eat the same there, it was much easier!!!! Hope this helps, Good Luck!
  • lilRicki
    lilRicki Posts: 4,555 Member
    I always bring a cooler of food to my parent's house...mostly to contribute to the feast...but I don't eat dairy, so I bring my own almond milk, tons of fruit, salads that I can eat...but I make enough for everyone
  • dkk1953
    dkk1953 Posts: 24
    As a parent, I would not feel slighted if my daughter felt the need for "healthier" alternatives to what she felt was going to be unhealthy food.

    But one quick mention - food for thought, if you will. Would you be doing the exact same thing if, say, you were going to spend 4 days at your best friends home? My point is this: on this journey we call weight loss/healthy living, we need to learn to live within the environments we cannot control. The steak: eat a smaller piece. The potato: eat half, little or no butter added. The breakfast: one egg, one slice of bacon will not undo your hard work. Do you see what I mean?

    As a long time "dieter" I derail myself when I "give in" but I'm actually "giving in" to huge quantity of foods, not the foods themselves.

    Good luck - enjoy your visit!
  • freerange
    freerange Posts: 1,722 Member
    Not rude at all, if they say anything, just tell them, you have done so well, and really don’t want any setbacks while you’re on a roll like this. Tell them you would be happy to help with the cooking so they won’t have to do anything extra.
  • Elizabeth_C34
    Elizabeth_C34 Posts: 6,376 Member
    I guess you could, but it might make others feel like you a judging their choices. Tread lightly.
  • Benji49
    Benji49 Posts: 419 Member
    I went and spent a week with my Mom a few years ago and we talked about what I eat when I first got there. It turns out she was thrilled to be able to talk about what was healthy and what wasn't. I found out more about her health problems that way than if I had asked straight out. My Mom is 80 and doesn't like to worry me.
  • Lyadeia
    Lyadeia Posts: 4,603 Member
    Is it rude or do I just chalk up the 4 days to a complete loss?

    Why don't you ask them instead of us if they'd be offended?

    And I don't see how it's a complete loss if you still are within you calorie goal...just because you are eating different foods doesn't make them less healthy.
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