Very tired Mommy in need of help!!!

Crystal715 · January 2009

I use to have a ton of energy befor ehaving my daughter who is now almost 18 months, she still does not sleep through the night and I am so tired its effecting every aspect of my life. My daughter still takes her bottle (only during nap and at night) which I think has a huge impact on her not sleeping through the night, becuase she gets wet, so she wakes up wont go back to sleep without a bottle and screams bloody murder for hours if I let her until she gets her bottle. My daughter wakes up between 1 to 4 times a night, and then normally wakes up when my husband gets up for work at 645.

I have tired everything, changing her bedtime routine, feeding her a snack before bed, letting her cry, bringing her to bed with me but she just plays, so I started dealing with it and let her watch tv in my bed when my husband gets up in the morning to try to sleep a little longer and I think that just makes me even more tired. Everyone I know child has slept through the night since they where like 6 months. I have thought about taking her nap away but she is so tired, and I need a break by 12 that I just cant do it. Plus I try to exercise during that time but I have been so tired lately I have been trying to rest.

Someone please help my life is suffering!

Crystal715 · January 2009

I use to have a ton of energy befor ehaving my daughter who is now almost 18 months, she still does not sleep through the night and I am so tired its effecting every aspect of my life. My daughter still takes her bottle (only during nap and at night) which I think has a huge impact on her not sleeping through the night, becuase she gets wet, so she wakes up wont go back to sleep without a bottle and screams bloody murder for hours if I let her until she gets her bottle. My daughter wakes up between 1 to 4 times a night, and then normally wakes up when my husband gets up for work at 645.

I have tired everything, changing her bedtime routine, feeding her a snack before bed, letting her cry, bringing her to bed with me but she just plays, so I started dealing with it and let her watch tv in my bed when my husband gets up in the morning to try to sleep a little longer and I think that just makes me even more tired. Everyone I know child has slept through the night since they where like 6 months. I have thought about taking her nap away but she is so tired, and I need a break by 12 that I just cant do it. Plus I try to exercise during that time but I have been so tired lately I have been trying to rest.

Someone please help my life is suffering!

ChristyMomx3 · January 2009

I use to have a ton of energy befor ehaving my daughter who is now almost 18 months, she still does not sleep through the night and I am so tired its effecting every aspect of my life. My daughter still takes her bottle (only during nap and at night) which I think has a huge impact on her not sleeping through the night, becuase she gets wet, so she wakes up wont go back to sleep without a bottle and screams bloody murder for hours if I let her until she gets her bottle. My daughter wakes up between 1 to 4 times a night, and then normally wakes up when my husband gets up for work at 645.

I have tired everything, changing her bedtime routine, feeding her a snack before bed, letting her cry, bringing her to bed with me but she just plays, so I started dealing with it and let her watch tv in my bed when my husband gets up in the morning to try to sleep a little longer and I think that just makes me even more tired. Everyone I know child has slept through the night since they where like 6 months. I have thought about taking her nap away but she is so tired, and I need a break by 12 that I just cant do it. Plus I try to exercise during that time but I have been so tired lately I have been trying to rest.

Someone please help my life is suffering!

Well, hmph.. I do not know what to say.. Is she eating solids during the day? Like table food? Is she on milk yet or still on formula?

Crystal715 · January 2009

Yes! All of the above, she eats normally like everyone else and in her bottle I give her a tiny bit of formula for the taste I guess she won't take it anyother way. :yawn:

songbyrdsweet · January 2009

My parents did this thing...I can't remember what it was called...gerberizing? It was something -izing. Anyway, they would have a set routine of putting my little brother down, and then letting him cry for about 10 minutes, going back up to comfort him quickly, then coming back down stairs for 10 min..they'd repeat that a few times and eventually he'd cry himself to sleep. Each week they'd increase the time a little bit, but if he was screaming at the top of his lungs at 15 minutes they'd still comfort him quickly. Over time he cried less and less. The same thing worked with my little sister, although she'd pretty much just cry for about 20 minutes and then fall right to sleep. I can't remember exactly how long she had her bottle, but I don't think it was past one year because she wanted to use cups like me hehe

There was an 11 year difference between us so I babysat her a TON, and knew to let her nap in the afternoon but not in the evening so she would go to sleep better. My parents have been reading a bedtime story to my little brother since he was old enough to understand it, and that helps bedtime go better too. To me it seems like the bottle is more of a safety blanket to her than anything else and it might be a good idea to actually replace it with one so she isn't getting wet or waking you up to get a new one. I hope you find something that works. :flowerforyou:

Jackie_W · January 2009

Hmmm, tough one, have you tried asking for advise at your health centre?
They may be able to think of something that'll help.

Have you tried taking your daughter out in the fresh air in the afternoon, it always helped my boys to sleep better at night.
Lavender oil - just a couple of drops on a pillow may help sooth her.
Soothing music, something to help you both unwind from the day.

Hope things improve for both your sakes soon :flowerforyou:

songbyrdsweet · January 2009

Oh and I also didn't have much of a problem with letting either my brother or my sister cry for a good long while. If I checked and they were dry and uninjured, I'd just go back downstairs and do my own thing. Crying doesn't hurt them at all and they need to learn that it won't get them what they want, or else they'll use it for everything as they get older. Just my .02.

Carrie6o6 · January 2009

My daughter was exactly like this. My son started to sleep through the night at about a year old... and with her yeah right!! She too would wake up early with my husband around 6am! I did give her bottles before bed, she would scream without it... Finally I stopped giving her the bottle. She wouldnt eat solids before bed it was impossible... She would scream and scream... Every 5-10mins i would check on her to make sure she was ok... but without the bottle she would sleep through the night... day by day the crying wouldnt last as long until finally she would just go to sleep with no probs..

And after I posted this I saw what songbyrd wrote.. and yes thats EXACTLY what I did with my son to make him put himself to sleep and my daughter too. The 10mins thing. It really works. the first time I felt bad for letting them cry... but you get used to it hahaha

ChristyMomx3 · January 2009

Yes! All of the above, she eats normally like everyone else and in her bottle I give her a tiny bit of formula for the taste I guess she won't take it anyother way. :yawn:

Well, my opinion. You can take it or leave it.. Get rid of the formula completely.. Just start giving her a sippy cup ( you should switch her over) with just her milk in it. Go ahead and do both at the same time. That way she will not concentrate on one or the other. If she is thirsty she will drink.. I PROMISE.. Also, they are only suppose to have 2-3 cups of milk a day, a cup of juice, and water. After you get her on the cup.. Might take a few days, then your going to want to get her to stop drinking at night. She isn't really that thirsty at night it is a habit, the sucking on the bottle is a habit too. She's going to cry. your going to be tired, but let her cry for a bit, and then love her, in the dark. No lights in the bedroom.. lay her back down.. keep doing this and she'll get the hint.. Even if you cut down her waking up by one time each week your still getting somewhere.. Don't let her boss you!! Your the PARENT. Lol Those kids can wind you around their little finger sooo tight it's hard to get off.. lol..

I do have expereince, just so you don't think i'm shooting off at the mouth. I have a 6 year old dd, a 4 year old ds, and 13 month old dd. The youngest has been sleeping on her own all through the night since 7 weeks, she's been on a sippy since 9 months and swithced over to milk a a year. Let me know if you want any other advice. All kids are different though..

3babybeans · January 2009

It isn't just "letting her cry" it is making her figure out how to soothe herself...and 18 months she should be able to do that.

*sigh* It does sound horrible, but I think if you try 2 or 3 days of it, you'll be surprised at the change. SBS is talking about the same thing. Try googling it & you'll find a ton of information. At this age, she's already learned to trust you. She's crying to get her way. Even at 18months, she's figured it out. Smart little cookies that they are. If you can't take the crying, go in at 10 min. & tell her it is okay & soothe her but do not pick her up. Leave the room. Give her 15 min., repeat. Give her 30 min., repeat. That worked with my boys in about 2 nights, but they were about 10 months old when I went through this.

OH! And take away that bottle! She's old enough to use a sippy cup & giving her a bottle of anything but water in her crib can hurt her teeth (baby teeth & the underlaying adult teeth)!

LandBsdotingchauffeur · January 2009

Sounds alot like my dd around that age. Every time at night that I'd have to go in and give her a bottle, I'd increase the amount of water and decrease the formula until she was drinking mostly water. It wasn't long before she decided she didn't want to wake up just to get water. Oh yeah, and we started putting the H2O in a sippy at night and she definitely decided it wasn't worth waking up for a sippy of water!!

HUGS and hope you get some sleep soon!! :flowerforyou:

Crystal715 · January 2009

Thanks All!
I will try the 10 mins thing, She only has her bottle during nap and bedtime, she has a sippy cup during the day. I think I might try to give her a sippy cip of water during naptime. I bought her a little elmo hoping to make that her comfort but it hasnt yet worked. I will also get her old blanket from my mother-in-laws house maybe that will help, now that I think about it I took it over there right before chirstmas and shes been worse since then.

Thanks agian anymore idea send-um my way I am up for trying anything.:flowerforyou:

p.s. She does have milk 3 times a day at each mean and juice once after nap and water the rest of the day in cups, she has been using a cup since she was about 6 months, just takes the bottle at night and at nap. I also give her a baby multi-vitiamin because shes not a great eater.

keiko · January 2009

I feel for you because I've been there. What others have told you about the 10 min thing is the best advice and it will work.

As for the bottle. Stop giving it to her. As of today no more bottle. Not at naptime, not at bedtime.

And unless you want to create another problem don't take her into your bed. That is just another habit you will have to break her of.

The first few days might be rough but it will be so worth it. You will be a better mommy when you are getting enough sleep.

songbyrdsweet · January 2009

It isn't just "letting her cry" it is making her figure out how to soothe herself...and 18 months she should be able to do that.

*sigh* It does sound horrible, but I think if you try 2 or 3 days of it, you'll be surprised at the change. SBS is talking about the same thing. Try googling it & you'll find a ton of information. At this age, she's already learned to trust you. She's crying to get her way. Even at 18months, she's figured it out. Smart little cookies that they are. If you can't take the crying, go in at 10 min. & tell her it is okay & soothe her but do not pick her up. Leave the room. Give her 15 min., repeat. Give her 30 min., repeat. That worked with my boys in about 2 nights, but they were about 10 months old when I went through this.

OH! And take away that bottle! She's old enough to use a sippy cup & giving her a bottle of anything but water in her crib can hurt her teeth (baby teeth & the underlaying adult teeth)!

LOL they are smart little guys! They know just what to do!

My little brother had extreme problems with his teeth because my parents always sent him to bed with milk. He actually had to undergo full sedation so they could clean his teeth and remove all the cavities and everything. I agree that it's important to brush their teeth and just send them off with water.

hmo4 · January 2009

My Dear, I've gone through it 4 times. My last kid-the worst. Take our advice. Bye bye bottle-all together. She should never have a bottle at sleep time with anything but water, as it can rot her teeth. Formula has "sugars"in it that 'll coat the teeth. Plus, then she pees and wakes, or stays up. Been through this cycle.:grumble: Tough love. It's hard. Put on your Ipod or go for a walk. if she's okay, "night, night, Mommy and Daddy love you"..clothes the door and don't look back. They say it should take 3-7 days for change. I believe my kids challenged that theory. Good luck!! Probs only get different as they get older!:ohwell:

mommachag · January 2009

i work as a night nanny for moms of multiples. one thing we do is sort out sleep issues.

does your daughter have any sort of developmental delay? sometimes that can prevent them from sleeping well.
does she snore? is she restless? when she does sleep does she sleep in funny positions? sometimes night wakings can be caused by sleep apnea.

the problem wasn't created in a day and it wont get better in a day. I'm not a big fan of ferberizing (letting them cry at increasing intervals untill they "get it"

during the day make sure she eats at least every 4 hours. even if it's just a small snack. at night give her something high in protein. in our house it's scrambled eggs usually.
before bed explain to her that it's bed time. follow a routine every night and tell her " ok sweetie it's time for sleep, mommy sleep,baby sleep, when the sun wakes up it's time to get up"

are you offering her bottle every time she wakes?
if you are then dont offer it the first time she wakes up, or the second. the third you can offer it but every night you will put more water in and less milk. then after that bottle no more for the night no matter how many times she wakes up.
every day switch out more water for the milk until it's just a bottle of water. most kids will give up at that point.
it isnt an easy fix but it works. you will get less sleep in the short term but in the long run it makes for happier people all around

also she takes a nap? she should be taking a nap at this age it is developmentally appropriate. what time does she take it, how long is it?
no more than 2 hours for a nap no later that 11:45.

sometimes pushing the bedtime back a bit works to get them into a healthy sleep rhythm.
I get it i know it's hard.
it sounds like your daughter has some bad sleep habits and like many habits it takes time to break them.
when she naps, you nap until she starts sleeping better.
at very most it will take about a week or two

Crystal715 · January 2009

She has no development issues infact she either right on or ahead of the game, she is very very smart, and very shy. She use to take a nap from 1 to 3-4 but I have changed that now she is down by 12, 1215 and normally up by 230, we play alot, we have a swingset and go out most days for about 30 minutes, plus she has gymnastics on mondays, tuesday and thursdays she goes and plays with her grandma while I go to pilates, on wednesdays we are out walking for about 2 hours. And friday we go to the bank and grocery store. She does have small nasial passages, but she only wakes up when she has a very heavy diaper so I am sure thats why she is waking up. I give her yougurt with cereal at night she only eats about half so I might try an egg she loves eggs. She eats a very well rounded meals, Fruit at every meal, veggies at lunch and dinner, a protein and starch at every meal. plus snacks. she is a snacker and never eats a very big dinner so she always has a snack before bed. :yawn:

Agian thanks everyone! As of today no more bottle, I am going to give it a full week, and I will let you guys know how it goes.

Crystal715 · January 2009

So Nap went great! I gave her a sippy cup with ice water, and she laid down didn't even cry. She played for like 5 minutes then fell asleep and slept for 3 hours. We are going to keep her up about 30 minutes later then normal tonight and see how it goes. Have a great night everyone!

Chellekk · January 2009

LOL they are smart little guys! They know just what to do!

SO TRUE!!! I don't have kids, but most of my friends have children and I know who rules the roost in a few of those homes and it's not the parents. From an outside eye...don't let your kids rule your life. You're the parent. You set the rules and stick to it or they'll rule that house always.

No bottle, put them to bed, check in on them and don't give in and don't change it up. Make it a routine. Your routine. They'll follow eventually. You win. You get some sleep.

Jackie_W · January 2009

So Nap went great! I gave her a sippy cup with ice water, and she laid down didn't even cry. She played for like 5 minutes then fell asleep and slept for 3 hours. We are going to keep her up about 30 minutes later then normal tonight and see how it goes. Have a great night everyone!

That's great news :drinker:
How did the night go?

Crystal715 · January 2009

So last night did not go well. My daughter went to fell asleep at 915 normal bedtime is 8 and then woke up at 1015 just as my huband and I where about to fall asleep. So after 2 and a half hours of her crying (no more like screaming bloody murder) we gave in and gave her 2 ounces of bottle, which normally she get about 6 ounces and a scoop of formula. She fussed for a few minutes after that then slept till 545 gave out a one time fuss then went back asleep till 730. Which was nice but I didn't really go back to sleep after her 545 fuss. My huband gets up at 645 and then leaves about 715 so on a normal day I am in a light sleep from 645 to 8-9 depending on how long my daughter will stand watching tv in bed for. Which I think is really bad for me I have decided I am going to start getting up and getting on my bike, when my husband gets up.

keiko · January 2009

I know this sounds mean but don't give her the bottle. Like someone else said this could take 5-7 days to break her of this habit. But in the long run it will be worth it. The longer you let her have it the harder it will be.
I would keep her normal bedtime. Having her stay up later will make her overtired and she will have a harder time sleeping then. Keep a normal routine.
When I finally decided to do the 10 min of crying, then 15..... my husband was not happy with me. He thought I should keep getting up. I needed sleep. After about 3 nights it was much better. But even if it goes longer keep doing it. Your health depends on your sleep. And so does your daughters.

songbyrdsweet · January 2009

Yea, I agree with the no bottle...I think it would be best to just do the 10-15 minute intervals. After 2 hours, she's so overstimulated it's hard for her to calm herself down. Eventually, if she's just throwing a tantrum, it's not really a big deal IMO to give them any attention when they're crying for a while (although it usually doesn't last very long). But when you're just starting out the comforting is important so that they are reinforced with the idea that you're in the house, just not available every second. But it still sounds like an improvement because you gave her less bottle and it sounds like she slept for several hours.

dkell · January 2009

Have you tried soft music in her room? Try setting by her crib and softly reading to her until she falls asleep or rubbing her tummy while in her crib. If you start to put her in your bed it may become something she crys for all the time.

See if you can get someone to sit with her for an hour or so while you take a nap during the day. If you are exhausted you can't be your best for her. When dad gets home from work maybe he can stay with her for an hour or so while you rest. :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: Take care of yourself cause you have people who need you.

Crystal715 · January 2009

Have you tried soft music in her room? Try setting by her crib and softly reading to her until she falls asleep or rubbing her tummy while in her crib. If you start to put her in your bed it may become something she crys for all the time.

See if you can get someone to sit with her for an hour or so while you take a nap during the day. If you are exhausted you can't be your best for her. When dad gets home from work maybe he can stay with her for an hour or so while you rest. :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: Take care of yourself cause you have people who need you.

I am going out today to buy a cd player for her room. I use to work at a daycare and we played Enya or however you spell it everyday at naptime. We are going to try that at bedtime and naptime, but naptime isnt out problem its just bedtime.

I know you all say just take the bottle away but my husband and I lead an extremely stressful life, during this time of the year and I just can't listen to her scream for 2 plus hours. So we have decided that she can have her comfort but only a little and if she wants to cry after that then thats fine. we are going to do 2oz for a week then 1 oz for a week then 1/2 oz for a week. Hopefully she will realize she doesnt need it anymore. (her room is right next to our and our walls are very thin) :yawn:

Very tired Mommy in need of help!!!

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