I feel silly even saying it...

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bkennedy1612
bkennedy1612 Posts: 68
in Motivation and Support
I know this sounds so silly, but the weight that I am aiming for....I think it has been since 8th grade that I have been that weight, and in all honesty, even back then I felt fat and that I couldn't fit into clothes that all the other girls wore, and that I was always bigger then the other girls. Is it strange to fear what I'm going to look like when I lose this weight (and yes, WHEN, not IF....I'm going to do it). What if my skin is all flabby? What if my body looks weird smaller? What if my face is still round and my body is all saggy? Are these normal feelings to have when starting a new diet? I know it is such a silly thing to even talk about, but these are all the things that go through my head...

my biggest fear, is to think that I lose the weight and am finally happy with myself, but I still will get looks from people in the mall, but for other reasons.

Good luck to all of you out there!!!

Replies

  • Vanessa414
    Vanessa414 Posts: 644
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    I completely know what you mean! Know what helped me? Go to the successes thread and check out some of the before and afters.. I spent hours doing that one day and found myself going "HEY THAT LOOKS LIKE MY TUMMY!" to the befores and "OMG I COULD HAVE THAT TUMMY!?!?" to the afters. It was pretty great :)
  • JimieLou
    JimieLou Posts: 273 Member
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    I completely understand what you're saying...and I have the same fears...Like you, the goal weight I'm aiming for is what I weighed in 5th grade when I had to wear clothes from the women's section because none of the "cute girl" clothes fit my fat body...
    I think it's important to tone while you're losing in order to prevent some sagginess. However, in the long run, it's being fit and healthy that matters, not a little bit of saggy skin!
    Best of luck!!
  • Lizshouse88
    Lizshouse88 Posts: 81
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    Hun I feel the same way and it kinda scares me to lose weight. I don't want to be "skinny" I am aiming for healthy. I am afraid I just wont look right if I lose all my weight. But it has to come off whether I look good or not!
  • LolasEpicJourney
    LolasEpicJourney Posts: 1,010 Member
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    I was heavy most of my life. At 12 i was 220lbs. I lost weight in highschool and got down to 155 when I was 16. I felt huge - and flabby at that weight - but yet my goal is now 160. Maybe i will be more muscular this time.
    But I worry I will still feel fat. That I will be flabby and have extra skin. By the time I reach my goal I will have lost 155lbs. Basically cutting my weight in half. I guess i will hope for the best and deal with it when it comes.
    Just make sure you fit in plenty of exercise and dont lose weight too fast. If you drop it too fast your skin wont have a fighting chance of shrinking with you. Drink plenty of water so the skin is healthy and more elastic. Doing toning exercises will also help the skin shrink with you.

    Good luck :)
  • Mnonan
    Mnonan Posts: 38
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    Nothing to feel silly about. I wonder the same thing. When I was skinny, I had a big head. When I gained weight, I became proportion to my head. So if Iose weight, I know I will have a big head again. lol. For example. Star Jackson. She has such a big head with her tiny body.
  • hroush
    hroush Posts: 2,073 Member
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    You should read this and it will help you decide whether or not that is a good goal to aim for:

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/181080-mfp-s-most-common-user-pitfall-to-avoid
  • sarah44254
    sarah44254 Posts: 3,078 Member
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    If you want to try and avoid flabby excess skin that comes when you lose lots of weight quickly, try to lose weight slowly! It takes patience!

    Instead of 2lbs a week try for 1, or even 0.5. It will take you a while to lose the weight, but it will leave - and your skin/body will have plenty of time to adjust to the new shape.
  • Shanzstar
    Shanzstar Posts: 197
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    you cant worry about stuff you dont have control over. You only have right now and you can only control right now. Best advice i ever got. you'll lose weight and you will love yourself for it and thats what matters not what ppl at the mall think. :) one day at a time.
  • countrydarling1
    countrydarling1 Posts: 386 Member
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    I completely know what you mean! Know what helped me? Go to the successes thread and check out some of the before and afters.. I spent hours doing that one day and found myself going "HEY THAT LOOKS LIKE MY TUMMY!" to the befores and "OMG I COULD HAVE THAT TUMMY!?!?" to the afters. It was pretty great :)
  • Biggestloserfan
    Biggestloserfan Posts: 123
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    I think that we all have these fears and we have to work out our emotions as we go. We have to learn to be happy with ourselves just the way we are and to start being content with ourselves as we lose the weight in order to be happy with ourselves when we lose the weight and reach our goals. It is the little steps and it is a life long journey. We need to find out the reasons why we gained the weight in the first place to as not gain it back when we do reach our goal. This is a huge process and it will take awhiel to work through all of the emotional baggage but it needs to be done in order to succeed. I think that is the biggest issue for me. I have struggled with this all of my life as well and it can be very difficult but I have started to learn to accept myself for who I am now and it seems to make the little victories easier to accomplish when I do accomplish them and then the setbacks not as difficult to get back up from if you know what I mean!

    Good Luck in your journey!!!
  • ItsMeMaryW
    ItsMeMaryW Posts: 119 Member
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    Not crazy I think about that all the time. I have lost a lot already and have areas that are pretty saggy but I'm not going to quit. I am getting facials to help firm my face and neck. Other areas I will worry about when I get where I'm going. I had a lot to lose and I'm not young anymore so things don't bounce back like they used to. It's OK though, I just want to be healthy and nothing can beat the energy I have now. Best of luck to you! :)
  • angelicdisgrace
    angelicdisgrace Posts: 2,071 Member
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    You'll be fine. Just weight train and you should see that you will not have flabby skin. I know for a fact because I used to have super duper flabby arms to the point that if there was a strong wind they would flap! Since I've been weight training my arms have shrunk and they don't flap in the wind any longer. Good luck!
  • countrydarling1
    countrydarling1 Posts: 386 Member
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    I was also a heavy set child, lost about 50 lbs n high school,was dn to 160 & still felt like a fatty, built like a football player w the wide shoulders. I know ill have extra skin, bc all the strech marks from 2 pregnancy. i have 170 lbs to loose. BUt the way i see it , u can run & play w your kids w extras skin & they have cool under clothing that can suck it in, but w the fat on me, i cant run or play w my kids well & im not loving myself for letting myself get this way! Im most afraid of loosing my boobs! rofl!! but my husband said he would love me anyway! lol!:wink:
  • tcdawley78
    tcdawley78 Posts: 69 Member
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    It's totally normal to feel this way... I wonder (and worry) every day what I will look like when I'm done. I've lost 70 pounds so far (almost 30 since I found this site), and I can already see where some skin isn't rebounding because of stretch marks. I've got 70 pounds to go, so I imagine it'll only get worse. What keeps me pushing on is that I'm not doing this for how I look (or not mostly anyway, lol). I'm changin my lifestyle to a more active one so taht I can live a better quality of life. Yes, I have loose skin, but I also have more energy, no more joint pain, and have totally stopped having chest pains... It's a lot of work, but it is definitely worth it!! :-D
  • Takotorau
    Takotorau Posts: 28
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    Don't waste anytime fearing these things. Your body is amazing & you will be completely blown away at how well it shapes up & heals itself as you grow leaner & stronger through healthy diet and exercise.

    I've never heard anyone (who had serious weight to lose) say they regretted loosing it.
    Focus on the journey!! It's a tough enough ride to begin with. But the rewards are AMAZING!

    Best wishes.
  • meldaniel
    meldaniel Posts: 111
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    Change is always scary...especially when it's a physical change! Losing the weight in a healthy way will keep alot of the "sag" from happening. When people do extreme diets or have bypass surgeries they lose so rapidly the skin just hangs. From what I have observed, usually when it's done right the skin retracts most of the way slowly with the weight loss...you may have some sagging areas but so do alot of thin people just from age or pregnancy. I lost 60 lbs 6 years ago and my skin looked great! Not perfect, but pretty darn good. Now I have regained 20 and trying to lose that too. Don't worry too much what people think. This is for YOU and your health. Sure, you will still have flaws but so does everyone, no matter they weigh! I don't think you would ever regret getting in shape and I think you will be blown away by the positive reactions you get as you go through and complete the process. Good luck! :)
  • blynnblair
    blynnblair Posts: 274 Member
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    I know exactly how you feel, it's not silly at all. I always worried about how I would look once I lost my weight. I didn't want to be" too skinny" or anything. I'll never be stick thin, no matter how small I get I'll always have my curves and that is just fine with me. My first goal was to get to 180, the weight I was in the 6th grade. I hit that goal and realized I want to be smaller and more toned. My goal now is to lose around 25 to 30 more pounds, im not setting an exact number, it's more about how I feel then the number on the scale.
    Slow and steady will win this race in the long run!

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