Below rock bottom

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dianathorogood
dianathorogood Posts: 3 Member
in Getting Started
Not trying to have a pity party just need to vent. I am so ashamed at myself for getting so close to my goal weight a few years ago and then gaining everything and more back. You'd think getting engaged would be motivation to look my best on my wedding day. But instead, I gained close to 50lb leading up to the wedding. And once I thought I'd hit rock bottom, I gained another 20 lbs. Now I'm 205lb! And only 5'2". I can't believe it got this out of control. I think that's probably why it did actually, because I just ignored it and didn't believe it was happening. The scale was out of wack, I was bloated, I drank or ate before weighing myself. Ridiculous reasons. I have never felt so low in my life. I feel like I have the opposite of traditional body dismorphic disorder. I think I look great going out and then I see pictures of myself and I'm actually disgusted. I don't think I'm that fat but I really am. I am so unhealthy, I have no energy, constantly tired and exhausted. I don't have energy to start exercising I can't imagine losing all.this weight again. I need motivation and you think this would motivate me... how crappy I feel all the time. But I find myself in a cycle.of emotional.eating because of my weight, and I can't break it! I need help!

Replies

  • kiittenforever
    kiittenforever Posts: 479 Member
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    You did it before... you Can do it again.
  • kguenther0
    kguenther0 Posts: 3 Member
    edited April 2016
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    I think it's easy to get overwhelmed when i look so far down the road. And then I get depressed b/c I don't have enough time to lose the weight I wanted to for this this event or that occasion. Instead, Just focus on today. Eat healthy today and find a way to get some exercise you enjoy. The important thing is to get started today. Then do it again tomorrow. And again the next day. Having an end goal and seeing it is important and can be motivating, but also scary at the start when it feels so distant. But you can do this. You can be healthier at the end each new day then you were at the start of it.
  • Odiaa
    Odiaa Posts: 34 Member
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    I use to be totally drained I had no energy, I had no motivation. And then I cut out all processed foods and I cut all sugar drinks and I only drink water. And I eat healthy foods and now I have more energy and motivation then my out of shape body can handle.

    P.S. From the time I get up until the time I go to bed, my energy level is at 100%. Diet makes a huge difference.
  • cooranga1974
    cooranga1974 Posts: 1 Member
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    It is hard to make changes in your lifestyle when you feel so low about yourself. The photos OMG I am the same. Thought I looked ok but then I see a photo and can't believe its me! Remember to speak kindly to yourself and you don't need to feel any worse than you do. I totally agree with the person above. Goal weight is so far away its overwhelming and feels impossible but one day a time we can get there. Could I suggest looking deep for the things that you are burying emotionally?
  • dianathorogood
    dianathorogood Posts: 3 Member
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    Odiaa wrote: »
    I use to be totally drained I had no energy, I had no motivation. And then I cut out all processed foods and I cut all sugar drinks and I only drink water. And I eat healthy foods and now I have more energy and motivation then my out of shape body can handle.

    P.S. From the time I get up until the time I go to bed, my energy level is at 100%. Diet makes a huge difference.

    I definitely have a sugar addiction. I'm going to try cutting it out all together with the exception of fruit. My diet is crap which is why I feel like crap. The processed food is harder to cut out though. Seems like everything you don't make at home yourself from scratch is processed. Thanks for the words of advice:)
  • krysian
    krysian Posts: 1 Member
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    Sugar is my weakness. I wont tell myself NONE bc then i spend a day eating nothing but donuts and pizza (yeah. That happened). So i get stupid crap i wont really like...like these weird chocolate rolls with pineapple in them. Some weird off brand. Not terrible...but not so good i wanted another! And i got my sugar fix. The bottom line: Take it a pound at a time. Take the time to measure your food. Look up calorie content before you eat. Thats stuff you can do from your phone or computer. Then count the whole thing, even if you ate only part. Stock up on carrots and celery for quick fix snacks.

    As for excersise i hate it. BUT: Things i found that i CAN do...walk faster when i pace while on the phone. Walk faster when i go to the bathroom or walk to the door or kitchen or whatever. Move quickly and with purpose...not jogging, more like...longer steps.
    DDPYoga is also amazing for me (since disabled) but ANY fun thing you can do from home is good. Sitting at the computer? Do 10 ab crunches...by just tightening your stomach as much as you can for 3 seconds, release. Repeat. Soon im out of breath. But im up to 10 before i stop now. Work at a desk? Use the isometrics from the 70s/80s. Where you just tighten every muscle you can feel. Just stand and tighten it all for 10 seconds and holy crap out of breath and rapid heart...but just standing there.

    Invest in yourself! Set a goal: 10 pounds. A pair of jeans that dont fit anymore. A pretty dress. A reward that isnt food (did i mention i LOVE food?)

    And most importantly: LOVE YOURSELF. Oh no your a fatty! Yeah? So am i. ANd you know what? Im STILL WORTH IT!!

    Last but not least: Get a nice water bottle. Dollar stores sell them. Drink it. Need caffeine? Try No-Dose or the bodylab tasty shakes or other "weight loss" drink. Most of them have protien (take longer for body to digest making you feel fuller) and caffiene (Diuretic so you'll pee a lot...but you have to drink water.) To avoid OVER hydration: Watch your pee color! If its almost clear? Slow down. If it's still yellow? Youre fine, drink more. Hungry? Drink 8oz of water (cheap baby bottle is a fun way to measure lol) and wait 20 mins. Or chew gum. Mmmm. Gum. Gum helps curb those late night munchies and sugar cravings.

    And really. Just a pound at a time. It took you a couple years to gain it all, it's gonna take time to lose it all. And NEVER eat less than 1200 calories a day!!
  • ElkeKNJ
    ElkeKNJ Posts: 207 Member
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    I am exactly the same, even the same height, not the same weight yet, but closing in fast if I don't take control fast. I get startled when I see pictures of myself, and am puzzled at why yet another of my clothes doesn't fit anymore. I do not go shopping, because i hate The reality of my dress size. I am not the best one to give advice, given my track record of dieting and failing, but I think you should sit down and make a plan for yourself. A Healthy, feasable one. And till you start executing that plan, ease into it, by walking a bit more ( I now choose the furthest spot on the parking lot at work), eat an extra portion of fruits and veg (for fiber, makes mee feel less bloated), and make your favorite food a reward, to be eaten in a small portion at a certain time of the day, and really savour it instead of gulfing it down.
  • kommodevaran
    kommodevaran Posts: 17,890 Member
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    Your taste buds will adapt - quickly - to better food. Just make more of it yourself and don't be afraid of sat/salt/doing it "correctly" - everything you make from real, quality, single food ingredients, will be better than any "convenience" food. (Quality - does not mean "organic"; high end, name brand, out of season. Buy the best you can get for the least amount of money. Frozen vegetables are fine. Apples and potatoes are fine.)

    Change can be brutal. Google Doug Lisle - the pleasure trap.
  • perkymommy
    perkymommy Posts: 1,642 Member
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    You did it before and I know you can do it again. I also lost weight before and got to a great weight, got pregnant, soon after separated/divorced, jobs here and there, kids to care for, etc. etc. LIFE got me! It tends to do that to us. I feel ya girl on the petite part too. I'm only 4'11" so at 150 (my highest) I had re-gained all that I lost back in 2006 and then some more on top of that! I've managed to lose 20 lbs the last two months and you can do that too.

    Please add me as a friend! I'm sending you a request. We will do this together. You won't be alone in this journey.
  • mumbles2013
    mumbles2013 Posts: 289 Member
    edited April 2016
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    You can do it!!!! I'm the heaviest I've ever been and it makes me sick to the point where I have absolutely no pics of me because I just don't want to see them!!!! I diet all the time and end up weighing more each time!
    Ive spent soooo long hating the person I am and I put so much energy into trying to run away from her and it never works.
    So now and I use all my energy to visualise the person I want to be and honestly that's taking a lot less energy.
    Please do it with me and we'll support each other
  • snowflake930
    snowflake930 Posts: 2,188 Member
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    You can do this again, and you are worth it.
    This probably won't make you feel any better, but over 80% of the people that lose weight, gain it back within 5 years, some gain even more than they lost back. Just know that you are not alone in this. It is not easy for most of us to lose the weight and more importantly, to keep it off. That is why it is so important to have a plan when you do reach maintenance. Losing the weight is only part of the problem, keeping the weight off takes a special kind of commitment.
    You can reach and maintain your goal! Best of luck to you!
  • bmayes2014
    bmayes2014 Posts: 232 Member
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    You know the best thing about 'rock bottom'??? No where else to go but up!! YEAH BABY!! You can do this. Be realistic. Everyday will not be a perfect day. Understand that you will make mistakes and 'fall'. GET RIGHT BACK UP and keep going. Come to MPF. read the success stories. connect with others. Start making small changes. This is a MENTAL journey. It's takes commitment, discipline, persistence and consistency. Get moving (choose something you enjoy) and start eating at your deficit. Celebrate your successes and give yourself treats along the way (so that you don't go insane). The best and hardest part about this journey is that is all your own. No one else to blame. no excuses. Be encouraged. you can do it!!

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