Negative comments

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siphil
siphil Posts: 6 Member
in Motivation and Support
Hi everyone! Does anybody else find their friends and family make negative comments about their weight loss? I'm getting close to my goal now but people keep telling I've lost to much weight or need to stop. I even had a friend who I hadn't seen for a while tell Me that I 'look ill' the other day. Its starting to affect my motivation a little.

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  • tiptoethruthetulips
    tiptoethruthetulips Posts: 3,361 Member
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    How much weight have you lost? If people are use to seeing a much bigger you, a much smaller you may look too thin to them even if you are in a healthy weight to height range.

    Not that you should have to justify losing more weight but assuming your goal weight is within the healthy weight to height range, you could just say to people that you aren't losing weight but working on getting healthier/fitter. You could also stop discussing your current weight with people. Change the topic if they bring up first.

    What is your height, current weight and goal weight?
  • Xxlune
    Xxlune Posts: 34 Member
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    People have told me before that I was 'too skinny'.

    I am by no means too skinny, and I think the reason was that they were used to seeing me the way I was before. They would never dream of saying that to someone who has always been skinny.

    Don't listen to them as they do not decide for your what is an appropriate weight for your body.
  • mumbles2013
    mumbles2013 Posts: 289 Member
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    They're haters!!!! My friends and family are all too happy to tell me when I've put on weight but they don't have much in the way of support when it comes to the weight loss journey. Keep up the good work like someone already said they are not used to seeing you slim so it's shocking really especially if you were very heavy.
  • amusedmonkey
    amusedmonkey Posts: 10,330 Member
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    People don't like it when things change. To them, you look "weird" now because one of your most prominent characteristics is gone. For example, a man who always has a moustache then suddenly shaves it looks "weird" to those who know him. They may not be able to put their finger on it, so they use terms like "too skinny" or "sick" because they have nothing else to compare to and tell you "you used to look a certain way, now you look different and I'm not used to it". Give them some time to adapt.
  • Meganthedogmom
    Meganthedogmom Posts: 1,639 Member
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    I have been told by a couple people that I am "too skinny" and "need to stop losing weight".
    My BMI is 28...
    People are dumb. If you are healthy and not underweight, then don't listen to them.
  • siphil
    siphil Posts: 6 Member
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    Thanks for the replies everyone. In answer to questions I'm around 5 ft 8 and I've gone from about 184lb to 155lb over the course of the last 14 months. I certainly don't feel under weight. I'm hoping to lose another 8 lb or so. I feel the healthiest I ever have so people saying I look ill is the opposite of how I feel. Thanks again guys for the encouraging replies.
  • hiker583
    hiker583 Posts: 91 Member
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    Don't worry about people, they will always find something to complain about. All that matters is if you feel healthy, and happy where you are.
  • TheLegendaryBrandonHarris
    TheLegendaryBrandonHarris Posts: 502 Member
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    I've considered the possibility that my weight loss kind of puts it in their face that they could lose weight, too.
    In essence, you might be wiping out one of their excuses.
  • samwiserabbit
    samwiserabbit Posts: 153 Member
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    Hey! Your height and starting weight are almost exactly what mine are, and my goal weight is a tiny bit lower. I hope that doesn't happen to me. Anyway, everyone else already gave great answers. You're doing fine, you know what a healthy body shape is for you, and you'll stop if you start to feel unhealthy or your BMI dips into an unhealthy range.
  • HealthierRayne
    HealthierRayne Posts: 268 Member
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    I think people, even family, don't like it when others around them succeed. It shows them how little they have done to better themselves and how they haven't met their goals. You have. This is a huge thing to celebrate. You have accomplished a lot of great things in a short amount of time - be proud.

    I really think that because so many of us are now overweight we are losing perspective on what is actually healthy... we call healthy people ill-looking, when in fact those of us with the extra weight are the ill ones.
  • amusedmonkey
    amusedmonkey Posts: 10,330 Member
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    HealthierRayne wrote: »
    I think people, even family, don't like it when others around them succeed. It shows them how little they have done to better themselves and how they haven't met their goals. You have. This is a huge thing to celebrate. You have accomplished a lot of great things in a short amount of time - be proud.

    I really think that because so many of us are now overweight we are losing perspective on what is actually healthy... we call healthy people ill-looking, when in fact those of us with the extra weight are the ill ones.

    I don't think that's really the case. I don't believe people are inherently mean-spirited. I have lost a lot of weight, but sometimes when I see someone I know who also lost some weight it kind of feels like this is not the same person anymore, replaced by aliens or something, "too thin", "looked better overweight"...etc, especially they've always been overweight. I don't voice these opinions, of course, because I know it's psychological and I will eventually get used to their new look. I have been more successful than anyone I know in this regard, so I'm not really being "jealous". I'm just being human. My inner reaction to someone who shaved his moustache and feeling like they looked better with it... what am I being jealous of in this case? Some people simply lack filters and blurt out whatever comes to mind, that's all.
  • CassidyScaglione
    CassidyScaglione Posts: 673 Member
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    It's called the "Stop losing weight, You're my fat friend, and if I don't have you as an excuse I have nothing" syndrome... that's totally the official name. Google it. lol. As long as it isn't your doctor telling you you are starving yourself or your trainer telling you your bones are going to crumble you are probably fine.
  • coalz
    coalz Posts: 308 Member
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    This thread is on point! I had the same reaction when I lost 15lbs a few years ago. I was actually healthy & happy, best shape of my life. All of a sudden everyone is concerned about my "health" But guess what? Nobody said a damn thing when I gained 59lbs in 2 years! I mean that's some pretty rapid weight gain! You'd think someone would be more concerned about your "health" when your breaching obesity & all the risks it runs: type II diabetes, high cholesterol & possible aneurism. All of a sudden they're mute. Wtf?!
  • Alidecker
    Alidecker Posts: 1,262 Member
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    amusedmonkey wrote: »
    HealthierRayne wrote: »
    I think people, even family, don't like it when others around them succeed. It shows them how little they have done to better themselves and how they haven't met their goals. You have. This is a huge thing to celebrate. You have accomplished a lot of great things in a short amount of time - be proud.

    I really think that because so many of us are now overweight we are losing perspective on what is actually healthy... we call healthy people ill-looking, when in fact those of us with the extra weight are the ill ones.

    I don't think that's really the case. I don't believe people are inherently mean-spirited. I have lost a lot of weight, but sometimes when I see someone I know who also lost some weight it kind of feels like this is not the same person anymore, replaced by aliens or something, "too thin", "looked better overweight"...etc, especially they've always been overweight. I don't voice these opinions, of course, because I know it's psychological and I will eventually get used to their new look. I have been more successful than anyone I know in this regard, so I'm not really being "jealous". I'm just being human. My inner reaction to someone who shaved his moustache and feeling like they looked better with it... what am I being jealous of in this case? Some people simply lack filters and blurt out whatever comes to mind, that's all.

    I agree with it, I lost weight after being overweight my entire adult life. People would ask me when I was going to stop losing weight that I was getting too thin. I personally think it was that I looked different....I was and still am far from being too thin. I don't get the comment now that I have been at the lower weight for a long time. Now they are used to the healthier version of me.

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