Bad start to a Friday :(

vdavis_89
vdavis_89 Posts: 334
edited September 28 in Motivation and Support
So a few weeks ago (before starting MFP) I decided to walk to our Apartments gym and check it out... I got there and there was a bunch of people there and I I got scared and sat outside ... didnt go in or anything just sat there and then went home and cried. So this morning my mom in law butt dialed me at 5:45 this morning so I figured it was a sign and since my fiance told me I should try the gym again thats what I did... I walk down there then realized I left my key at home so i walked back home got my key and went back. There was only one person there and she was soo pretty and skinny and I got immediatley intimidated and left :( I dont even know how to use any thing in there.. Im afraid ill look stupid or worse hurt myself on a machine. No one seems to understand that I cant do this alone :( everyone just says get over it and I should be enough motivation for myself. I dont have anyone that lives near me to go with me so I have no one to help me and support me here! Is anyone else like this? Or am I just being stupid?! I dont know what to do anymore! Ive said before walking is out of the question due to the heat here :( Im so frustrated I just want to give up! AND TO TOP IT ALL OFF IM FREAKIN HUNGRY!!!!

Replies

  • dorisholaway
    dorisholaway Posts: 531 Member
    Just think, the pretty skinny girl may have been an over weight girl the first time she went to the gym. And YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • Katbaran
    Katbaran Posts: 605 Member
    My first suggestion would be to go online and look up some of the machines they have in your gym. Find out what they do and where to start. The next would be to actually look at the different machines--sometimes they have instructions. Try to take advantage of a free trial at a commercial gym or a free visit offer. Then, scope out the same machines your complex has and find out how they work at your free trial!

    I understand your not wanting to exercise outdoors--our son and dil live in Mesa and the heat is terrible! We lived in El Paso, TX for a while and it was unreal. Being from the North, it seemed even hotter! lol.

    Good luck!
  • ShellyKay67
    ShellyKay67 Posts: 489 Member
    i totally feel your frustration.......and intimidation! it's a natural feeling.
    that being said, i hope you won't give up and go in there......i'm sure there is someone in there that would give you a hand.
    maybe that gal this morning would have helped you. you are worth it and every bit as special as any other person.
    give it a go.
    you will overcome your fear in no time. i think they will think it's great that you are starting to put the effort in to make changes.
    if they don't.......they certainly aren't worth your time.
    those that matter dont mind, and those that mind dont matter! (Dr. Seuss)
    you can do this! this is about you, not what others think of you. (and trust me, i know how you feel.....i was there 15 months ago).
  • EmBlazes
    EmBlazes Posts: 374 Member
    Oh sweety! Don't give up and don't worry you aren't the only one that feels intimidated by the skinny things at the gym!! I found that going to a personal trainer helped me get over the "fear" of going to the gym by myself as well as giving me the confidence to go and use machines I might not have tried otherwise.

    Try to start one step at a time and remember - for you even just going IN the gym is an achievement. Don't forget that!!! You can do it - remember you are doing this for you and it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks :flowerforyou:
  • MissAnjy
    MissAnjy Posts: 2,480 Member
    you know what? half the people in the gym don't know how to work the majority of the machines. It doesn't hurt to ask someone, and don't be intimidated. Just because she's skinny, doesn't mean she's self-confident or has self-esteem or feels good about HERSELF. She may be intimidated in the gym as well, or shy, etc.

    Don't feel as though you don't belong !!! If you want this, go after it. Don't let the fear of the unknown stop you. Pick a treadmill, those are relatively easy to work on your own, start there. OR the elliptical, exercise bike etc .... once you meet a few people, ask them to show you the workings of some of the machines. I know if someone asked me, i'd gladly help them out. They may be friendlier than you think, and you may find great support there.
  • JodiS75
    JodiS75 Posts: 284
    That's so rough... I've totally been there! Would someone buy you one or two trainer sessions as a gift? There are lots of trainers that will come to your house, gym, park, etc. Just go on Craig's list! Then they can show you how to use everything and even get you going on a plan! Don't be discouraged, it will get better!
  • getsveltEagain
    getsveltEagain Posts: 1,063 Member
    It can be scary at first :flowerforyou:

    You can start easy by sitting on the bike and pedaling.... not to hard to do that.

    For the treadmill, there is probably a button labled "quick start" it that to get the machine going. It will start out really slow and there will be a set of arrows for speed and incline. Use the up arrow for speed. I suggest go a minute at a certain speed then increase it if you can. I'd start at 2.0 for a minute and then go to 2.5 for a minute. If that seems alright you can go to 3.0 for a minute.... and you can always go back down :wink:
  • Frumpy2Fit
    Frumpy2Fit Posts: 137 Member
    Just because someone can't be there to go with you doesn't mean you are in this alone. Everyone feels "out of place" when they start to make a lifestyle change -- it's different to them. Don't feel like anyone is judging you when you go the gym. What's the worst that they could be thinking? "Wow, this girl is working out and trying to better her life." No one is going to look down on you for going to the gym alone and trying to transform yourself...this is an admirable act and not something that ANYONE is going to laugh at you for. You CAN do this. You obviously have people in your life who have faith in you -- now you have to have faith in yourself. Good luck!!!
  • ilikeowls
    ilikeowls Posts: 21
    Don't let them intimidate you! I know that's easier said than done, but I doubt they will judge you when you're using the equipment. Perhaps they could help you get used to using it if you're unsure?

    It is important to use it correctly though, could your fiancée go with you at any time? For some moral support and to keep you going? Are there any friendly people on here who live nearby who could help you out?

    Could the people who maintain the gym recommend how to learn to use the machines?

    You can do this, you're doing well so far, I know I'm not much help, but there will be people with better answers on here. I will say good luck and you can do it!
  • dls06
    dls06 Posts: 6,774 Member
    See if you can call ahead and ask the person on the phone if you can arrange with them to meet with one of there trainers. If it is a Gym they should have one. If they don't you have to get up the courage to just walk in with a towel over your shoulder and go up to one of the machines and get on. If you can't figure how to turn it on. Go up to someone and just ask can you give me a hand, this it is my first time. If they are skinny or not they are human and 99% of us would never mind helping another human. I'm sure you don't like when people judge you, don't judge someone else just because they are thin. They may be really nice and would love to help. You just have to get the courage to just walk in the first time. After that it will be a breeze.
  • BECav0602
    BECav0602 Posts: 200 Member
    Go try the elliptical or just walk on the treadmill to start. Those are easy machines to use and will get you some cardio in. As for weights, I highly recommend getting a trainer (even if it is only once) to show you how to work the machines and what the correct weight is for you to start off on if you can afford it. There are a lot of trainers that will come to you if you don't go to a regular gym. Or you can always ask someone that you see in the gym on a regular basis to show you how to work them.

    I work out with a trainer once a week and I still have the fear of doing weights by myself. It is something that I have to consistently just make myself do and tell myself not to worry what others think. So...it happens to the best of us! Good luck!
  • sla0814
    sla0814 Posts: 240
    I used to have a HUGE phobia of going to the gym, especially in college. I was the token heavy girl amongst all of my fit friends. With that being said, they really enjoyed going to the gym...I tried going with them more times than I can count but I would seriously end up being SO uncomfortable once I got there. I had major anxiety seeing other fit girls and guys in the gym. I thought that they were all looking at me and watching me. lol Well no they're not!!

    It's such a funny thing because I don't know what clicked or what but I finally had a thought in my mind...The only way I'm going to continue this journey is when I STOP caring what others think of me. So that's what I did:). I am that girl who goes into the gym with no makeup, baggy shirt and sweating like it's my job! I now see the people that I used to be intimidated of as people that are on the same journey as me! We are all in this healthy journey together! Yes, I sometimes get moments of insecurity but that's life.

    Don't be discouraged, keep up the great work!! God bless
  • HappyathomeMN
    HappyathomeMN Posts: 498 Member
    Gyms offer promotions all the time - find one that has a week free or something and usually they will add a single session with a trainer who can SHOW you how to properly use the equipment. But the best way to start is just get on the treadmill and go - you only have to push start and turn up the speed to a rate you are comfortable with. Sure it's going to be a slower start than other people at the gym, but you will find that the more you go, you will eventually begin increasing your speed AND - daring thought - increase the inclince too!

    I have been the biggest girl in the gym and because I kept at it, I learned that most people are there to take care of themselves, not judge you. I'm not the biggest anymore and I am no where near the smallest, but I'm still doing it and I have learned to really enjoy it. Another small bonus is that the more you go, the better you feel and suddenly people will give you encouragement such as"you are doing great, keep it up!"

    The point here is everyone had to start somewhere, you ARE capable and you CAN do it! But realize that you will contiue to feel what you are feeling now if you choose not to take those steps.
  • deb1130
    deb1130 Posts: 38 Member
    I thnk most of us know exactly what you're feeling. Most of us have felt that intimidation at a gym at one time or another. SOme never set foot in one because of that.

    Nobody's born knowing how to operate the equipment, and you need to know that, so you could get someone you know to go with you & show you. Or, you could find a personal trainer locally and pay them for a couple of sessions to come to your aprartment facility with you & show you what you need to know until you get comfortable using what you need to use.

    Or, you could skip that altogether for now and buy some DVD's. and work out at home. If you have cable, there are free workout programs on there, too--some like Comcast's "On-Demand", you can do whevever you want. Leslie Sansone's "Walk" dvd's are great for beginners, by the way.

    Or, make up your own ways to burn calories! Walk in place while you watch tv. Put headphones or loud music on & dance. You can move for thirty minutes a day and that will not only burn calories, it will start to feel great.

    Oh, also--you can go to a store that has shopping baskets & push a basket around the store. They have AC! If that's too easy, throw in something heavy (like a big bag of dogfood) and push that around the store.
  • awwww...don't feel discouraged mama....I can understand how you feel.. Maybe your finance could go with you..or wait until after 8pm to go walking once it cools down. If you want it bad enough you will do it no matter what!! Hang in there!
  • I've done yoga at home for years because of the skinny chics at yoga classes and never knew if I was doing poses right or looked stupid. I did join a yoga class recently, to top it off the instructor is a really in shape GUY. Know what I love yoga class and even though I'm a bigger girl I'm stronger and can hold poses better. So just get your butt in there. Who cares what they may think, honestly if those skinny girls are at the gym they're worried about their body too:P
  • blmariner
    blmariner Posts: 1 Member
    Remember how absolutely horrible you felt this morning. Now decide if you want to feel like that every day or if it's worth feeling silly for a day or two while you figure things out. Everyone has to start somewhere and most feel completely overwhelmed at first. There are a lot of online resources that you can use to learn how everything works, but the important thing is to just go and get yourself moving. Like Happyathome said, most are there to improve themselves - not to judge you. You will make much more progress by just putting yourself out there and trying than by crying in a bag of chips. I went to my first Bodypump class the other night and felt like a complete idiot, but most of the people there were very supportive and none of them pointed and laughed at me when I used super light weights or had to put my weight down before I could even do more squats and lunges. Sure, I was embarrassed at first but I'm more embarrassed every day by being as overweight as I am.
  • vdavis_89
    vdavis_89 Posts: 334
    Thank you guys for all the encouragement I needed it ... obviously! I am going to go maybe a little earlier tomorrow before anyone else and just jump on the treadmill :) I can't tell if one of the machines is an elliptical or a stairclimber lol I dont know Ill google it i guess. Im gonna try to find a trainer or something just to get me started like on a path and show me what to do :) Thank you again!
  • drgregdc
    drgregdc Posts: 22 Member
    Everyone begins by not knowing or understanding. If you believe it was fate to be there maybe (only having one person in the gym) you missed out on someone showing you or better yet a good workout partner.

    If insecurities lead you astray try youtubing gym machines, go to a gym and hire a trainer for a couple sessions or go in and use the treadmill or bike while someone is working out. You can watch what they do / how to do it and burn some calories.

    YOU CAN DO IT!

    Obstacles are the things we see when we take our eyes off our goals.
  • jessradtke
    jessradtke Posts: 418 Member
    Your are NOT being stupid, you are just letting your insecurities and fears get the better of you. You CAN do this!! All you have to do is take the first step. Just take a big, deep breath and open that gym door. I won't be as bad as you think. I promise! If you are really that worried about what people might say, put on some great workout music before you even walk in the gym door and then you won't even be able to hear whether they say anything or not. It's ok to just ignore the other people until you feel more comfortable. Second, don't make the assumption that the skinny people you see in the gym were always that way. I used to think that too, but once I started talking to people at my gym I found that almost none of them were always in shape. Most of them told me about health problems they are still dealing with or that they were once overweight or out of shape too but had some sort of wake up call. We all have to start somewhere, and the only difference between you and them is that they've already taken that first step. Third, I would recommend that you choose one or two machines that are simple to learn and just do those for a while. Most of the people who use those gyms never use all the equipment. They often have favorites and stick with them. I know plenty of people who have never used anything but a treadmill. It's ok! You don't EVER have to use more than one or two pieces of the equipment if you don't want to. Treadmills and stationary bikes are usually a good place to start, but use whichever piece of equipment you think you would enjoy most. If you think you want to try another piece, watch someone else use it a few times first so you get the idea of how it works. And last but not least, I would be willing to place a bet that there is someone else in your apartment building that is feeling pretty much the same way you are. If there's a bulletin board or newsletter you could try asking other people to join you on your quest for better health. That would take care of your need to not do this alone. Good luck and don't give up!
  • sculley
    sculley Posts: 2,012 Member
    I feel that way about running I know i am heavy and will be looked at weird for suffering while running. I think people would look at you and respect you just for going out and trying honestly. I think once you do it just once you will feel better. Maybe she was the one that was heavy before she worked out maybe you could have struck a convo and ask what worked for her.....I understand your fears. I know that I used my ipod to loose myself. Hope you get your confidence
  • bwilcox30
    bwilcox30 Posts: 30 Member
    Slow down, take a deep breath and think about why you are doing this. You want to be healthy not skinny and in order to get there you have to just jump in both feet first. Forget that skinny/pretty girl she may have her own set of insecurities hidden by looks. You are beautiful it is time that you realize that and make this move for you because doing it for anyone else will not motivate you. If you are afraid of the gym then start at home with workout DVDs until you build up the courage to go to the gym; don't just give up on yourself. I have those videos at my house and you are welcome to them, I support you in this journey you can call me or text me or whatever.
  • vdavis_89
    vdavis_89 Posts: 334
    Slow down, take a deep breath and think about why you are doing this. You want to be healthy not skinny and in order to get there you have to just jump in both feet first. Forget that skinny/pretty girl she may have her own set of insecurities hidden by looks. You are beautiful it is time that you realize that and make this move for you because doing it for anyone else will not motivate you. If you are afraid of the gym then start at home with workout DVDs until you build up the courage to go to the gym; don't just give up on yourself. I have those videos at my house and you are welcome to them, I support you in this journey you can call me or text me or whatever.

    Thank you Brandy :) Im gonna get back in the gym tonight it didnt help that I didnt have my ipod :( But I have it now and Im in the proccess of downloading a bunch of fast paced songs to run/walk to :) Im gonna do this!! Your beautiful too!!!
  • Mixmode
    Mixmode Posts: 332
    Walk in with your head held high like you own the place. The hardest step is the first step through the door.

    Not that it matters but I assure you the girl you saw would respect you more for handling your biz rather than leaving just cuz she was in there at the same time.
  • Sistasarita
    Sistasarita Posts: 39 Member
    it's ok to cry and it's ok to be scared and it's ok to keep going back until you get what you went for in the first place.

    my sisters and I talk on the phone to each other sometimes when we work out. once we really get to breathing hard and sweating we start laughing. i know that my twin sister who lives 6 miles away isn't by herself and my baby sister in buffalo, ny knows she isn't alone in this thing...when we are on speaker phone "getting shredded" or "walking off the pounds" or holding the plank position for as long as we can...we know that we are in it together!

    butt dial your "mother-in-law" and then press start on that treadmill...

    you can even call me and get in our party fitness line. :)

    we gotchu, boo. <insert song We Are Family...I got all my sisters with me>
    Peace and Love:heart:
  • Hollycat
    Hollycat Posts: 372
    youtube baby....youtube! You can learn how to do just about anything from youtube!

    Like I tell my kids....Stick your fear in your wallet and take it with you. If you really need it, you know where it is.

    Ever seen a 250 pound woman swimming at the beach? Well...if I'm there you will. I have 3 bathing suits. All size 24 and I use 'em. If you don't like the way I look, feel free to go home, 'cause Momma's goin' swimmin'. Moral: Don't let others' brief [usually about 3 to 5 seconds] opinions of you keep you from doing what you need to do. You are the only person you have to live with for the rest of your life and you DESERVE to live it.

    Hollycat
    :flowerforyou:
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