Annoying things people ask about success.

I get peppered with such questions by just about everybody. How did I get such results????
When I say "hard work", they slink off disappointed.

The people herd want that quick, easy fix, and those of us who worked for our results must have some elusive secret - right?

NOPE!
Eat clean and healthy, exercise hard and smart. That's not what people want to hear...

"You don't need to lose any more, you'll disappear!"
"Why are you still dieting?"

Lonestar5715 wrote: »

I have heard, "When are you going to stop losing weight?" I have to try really hard to not say, "When are you going to stop gaining?" lol

Normal has become abnormal.
We're such a culture of big people that when anybody is a normal, healthy weight, the herd can't deal with it.

dwulet130 wrote: »

Timshel_ wrote: »

Not so much what they ask, but what they say for me.

The biggest thing I despise is when I tell them I do 1 mile each for my two 15 minute breaks and take 30 minutes of my hour lunch to do another couple miles. They always say, "Must be nice". Like they don't have the same opportunities?

I'm expected to stay at my desk all day (even when I'm taking a break) so some people don't have the same opportunity. I go for a 5 mile walk after work to get my steps in, but it's tedious and I wish I could break it up during the day.

Just keep in mind that even though it's hard for everyone, not everyone is in the same situation.

I think his point was you make the time as inconvenient as it may be. You put the work in you get results.

Remarks about calorie counting, ie: CICO. 99% of the time the person will say "it's not about calories!" I just smile and respond..."It is for me".

Like other's above have stated, some people seem disappointed that I've had to work hard to get where I am and that there isn't any short cuts to long term success.

The worst comment that annoyed the hell out of me was concerning loose skin after major weight loss. A group of of women at my pool were discussing weight loss and one said "I'd rather stay fat than have that ugly loose skin hanging all over my body". I thought about it for a minute and said " If you could feel HOW GOOD being a healthy weight feels, you'd probably change your mind about that". I'm pretty sure she was referring to a wonderful gal who has lost nearly 175 pounds. Yes, she has a very large apron of loose skin that hangs down to her knees. But...this woman used to have use a motorized cart, then a walker, then a cane, and now she walks without any assistance. She's gone through two knee replacement surgeries in the last 18 months and she's at the pool for 3 hours a day, 5 days a week. I call that AWESOME!

FWIW, this comes up a lot on the forums. I lost half my bodyweight and have maintained for a year now, and have a different perspective.

YES, people ask how we've done it and YES they look disappointed when we say "eating less / moving more / hard work." And sure, sometimes they might be expecting or want to hear that there was a magic berry or specific fad or celebrity diet.

BUT I think the real reason most people look disappointed is that they already know that you ate less, moved more, worked hard. But if it were as simple as that, and as easy as it sounds (even when you say "hard work") everyone would do it. Everyone would succeed. The first time around, too. What would be more helpful and more interesting for them to hear is what made it different for you. And defaulting to a sactimonious "virtue" position (Variations of "I guess I was just better than I used to be" imply "I guess I'm just better than you") is not informative or helpful.

1. An admission that it was not easy for us either. Most people look relieved AF when I say something like "I had to eat a lot less, and it was a total mindf*ck, man. I've come to believe that 90% of weight loss success happens above the neck."
2. An admission that your attitude changed over time. I have yet to meet a single other successful loser of fat who believes that their approach the first few weeks continued to be their approach over a longer period of time, who didn't find their attitude towards food and exercise changed, or who doesn't have half a dozen "I wish when I started I had known..." beliefs.
3. A brief elevator pitch of your philosophy of eating or meal planning that took some of the challenge out of it for you. For me that was "I already knew what foods I liked, but I had to learn what foods made me feel more satisfied." For other people it might be other stuff.

for me, it's not really about the questions. I mean, if someone is generally interested, I am beyond happy to talk about it. i think wondering what/how a spouse deals with it is legitimate especially if the two share a lifestyle and one changes and the other doesn't. it's about attitude. if they are asking as a means to justify themselves not losing weight or looking for a miracle, then the questions become annoying.

That said, the other members in my office are, somewhat, collectively dieting. and here i sit, having lost whatever amount i have, and they don't talk to me about it. I can hear them talking to each other about starving themselves and falling off the wagon with a cookie so they might as well eat a pizza and on and on. Basically, they look at me as an anomaly and not the standard. Because they have called me "naturally skinny" and commented on how unnaturally high my metabolism must be, because I do eat pizza and donuts and chips at work. They just don't see what i do every day to afford those treats.

Timshel_ wrote: »

Not so much what they ask, but what they say for me.

The biggest thing I despise is when I tell them I do 1 mile each for my two 15 minute breaks and take 30 minutes of my hour lunch to do another couple miles. They always say, "Must be nice". Like they don't have the same opportunities?

YES! I work a desk job, 10-11 hours a day most days. I take the time to walk around the parking lot during breaks to the tune of 2.5-3 miles each day regardless of the weather (unless it's raining). So while my co-workers take their breaks to go smoke or grab ANOTHER bag of chips to eat at their desks, I'm taking those opportunities to be active.

"Must be nice" they tell me. Yeah, it is nice because I see and feel the results day after day and while I'm not one to judge, ok yes I am, I can't help but think that if you put down that bag of chips and walked around a bit, you wouldn't sound like you're having a coronary just from shifting your (not inconsiderable) weight around in your chair.

Choices, we all make them.