Today I resisted my first binge!

This is my first time posting! I'm a 23 year old personal trainer and recovering bulimic. I am quite pround of myself this evening and wanted to write about it somewhere. I've struggled with binging and restricting since my fitness journey began 4 years ago, I went a full year of dieting without binging and then the moster popped up. I was never overweight, I was just out of shape. My husband has deployed 2 times in the last 1.5 years, and I also have pure obsessional OCD and am sure that my increased binges have something to do with the mix of those things. Luckily I was only fluctuating about 5lbs from month to month from the eating. Some weeks I would do it 5x,some weeks none. My binges range from anywhere between 5k-8k calories until I am so sick I can't move. Anyways, though it wasn't affecting my aesthetically, I have been mentally drained from it for the last while especially being a trainer. Today was a day that screamed binge. A lazy day, no work and no clients. Did my work out this morning and layed down to lounge. I don't count calories anymore due to the fact that I have obsessive tendencies, and I just started eating when I'm hungry and healthy, but no foods are off limits if a craving hits. Anywhom, I went into the kitchen and began eating peanut butter which is a huge trigger food....I had a few spoonfulls and then made protein pudding and an apple and used more peanut butter...came in my room, ate it and started getting into the mentality that I had already messed my day up...got in the car to go to the grocery store to get my binge foods because I knew I was already over my maintnence for the day. As I was driving through the parking lot I kept going. I said to myself "what are you doing Amy, your are in complete control, you don't need to do this." Came straight home, made a big healthy dinner and ate it....and now I'm laying here full of nutritious food, very full...but I am not guilty...I am not sad...even though I know I went way over in calories today everything was healthy and I regret nothing...all because of 1 little thought I had to myself in the parking lot of a store...anyways! Sorry for the long post, just very excited and feel as if that was a huge step forward and that it may help some who suffer from BED or bulimia!

Replies

  • shaybee377
    shaybee377 Posts: 42 Member
    That is amazing! I'm currently halfway through trying for my first binge-free weekend in a looooooong time so it's inspiring to hear a success story! :)
  • amyjakupovic
    amyjakupovic Posts: 4 Member
    You got it! I know how hard it can be and it is so easy to just just do it, but so hard at the same time because you feel as if you aren't in control!
    That is amazing! I'm currently halfway through trying for my first binge-free weekend in a looooooong time so it's inspiring to hear a success story! :)

  • MindfulNat
    MindfulNat Posts: 83 Member
    That's amazing !!! Congrats!!!! Keep going :)
  • Ohiomom91
    Ohiomom91 Posts: 34 Member
    Congratulations on CLAIMING THAT VICTORY Amy!!
  • asteriskthat
    asteriskthat Posts: 73 Member
    Congratulations! That kind of self-talk in the moment can be so hard (I know). Good work :) and keep it up (but don't beat yourself up if you slip now and then; progress isn't linear).
  • amyjakupovic
    amyjakupovic Posts: 4 Member
    Thanks guys :)
  • alevstar
    alevstar Posts: 4 Member
    Good for you for making the right descision! Very inspiring
  • Danniaroha
    Danniaroha Posts: 3 Member
    That's awesome. I have heard those two voices. The one who craves sugar and the one who knows I shouldn't indulge... but it's like a drug and is do addictive that I find it too easy to lose control. I assumed by eliminating all sugar I could get a grip and control the urges which never lasts very long, a week or 3 max. I even tried one cheat day a week where I can have the foods I was craving without guilt but I can't stick with it.... hoping this app helps me stay accountable and get a better idea of what I need to eat in order to sustain a healthy lifestyle. Good luck Amy, keep it up! Thanks for the inspiration. :)
  • Dana_E
    Dana_E Posts: 158 Member
    That's so awesome! Keep it up! You've got this!
  • rickyll
    rickyll Posts: 188 Member
    Good discipline is an attractive trait. Keep up the good work
  • amyjakupovic
    amyjakupovic Posts: 4 Member
    Danniaroha wrote: »
    That's awesome. I have heard those two voices. The one who craves sugar and the one who knows I shouldn't indulge... but it's like a drug and is do addictive that I find it too easy to lose control. I assumed by eliminating all sugar I could get a grip and control the urges which never lasts very long, a week or 3 max. I even tried one cheat day a week where I can have the foods I was craving without guilt but I can't stick with it.... hoping this app helps me stay accountable and get a better idea of what I need to eat in order to sustain a healthy lifestyle. Good luck Amy, keep it up! Thanks for the inspiration. :)

    Deprivation is what starts the bimges for me! I allow everything so that my "all or nothing" mentality goes away because I can always have whatever treat it is tomorrow if I want! This doesn't work for all, some people need to cut stuff completely out. Severe calorie restriction makes me binge, being a trainer I find that some days I don't have as much time to eat enough so that sometimes deprives me and drives me to binge as well. You will get there one day! It takes time and a lot of self motivation, but you'll get there!
  • positivepowers
    positivepowers Posts: 902 Member
    Congratulations! This is huge!
  • ldowdesw
    ldowdesw Posts: 222 Member
    Well done! I've never been a 'binge eater' but I used to get a time in the day, or a day in the month where nothing would quite hit the spot, so I would raid the cupboards. These days my cupboards are boring if I have the munchies plus I try to never be 'starving hungry' or my mind starts to wander and crave. One day at a time is a fantastic attitude. You should be extremely proud of yourself. Good luck for tomorrow. X
  • hzl22
    hzl22 Posts: 157 Member
    Good self control!u say when u go over your calories you tend to say screw it(we all do) but one thing that helps me is thinking of the calories for the week so that if I go over a little for the day I don't throw the whole week away because i still have those numbers to watch out for
  • pldavis10
    pldavis10 Posts: 67 Member
    Congratulations...these victories matter.
  • Mersie1
    Mersie1 Posts: 329 Member
    Great job!!!!! I am battling the same demons! More power to you. Add me if you like. Same approach- no restriction as that's definitely what triggers the binges!

    Hugs and high fives!
  • arditarose
    arditarose Posts: 15,573 Member
    Thanks for sharing this :)
  • natalie3505
    natalie3505 Posts: 169 Member
    That's wonderful! :) you can do this amy!
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