Does it upset you?

Fit4LifeAR
Fit4LifeAR Posts: 233 Member
edited December 1 in Motivation and Support
Does it ever annoy you when someone claims to get healthy all naturally, yet you know they had help? For example, a friend of mine lost about 150 pounds and loves to give advice on how to diet and "do it right", yet she doesn't tell anyone that she lost the weight by having weight loss surgery. And another friend who claims to have gotten super fit by working out and "eating chicken breast", yet I know for a fact he is taking steroids, and has been for a while now. I don't know why this annoys me, I guess it's that you see people do these amazing things and wonder why it's so much harder for you, and then you find out the truth. Weight loss is great, surgery or not, I just wish people would be honest about what has worked for them. Steroids is never ok, in my opinion, but to each is own.

Replies

  • scolaris
    scolaris Posts: 2,145 Member
    Well the most preachy & sanctimonious are generally the most bankrupt and corrupt, right?
    Ignore. You need new friends!
  • Wicked_Seraph
    Wicked_Seraph Posts: 388 Member
    I personally detest that kind of dishonesty and would be tempted to call them out on it... but also realize that you don't know the full story, either. No one know EVERYTHING about someone else's life.

    I don't believe in karma, but I do believe that ultimately we are all accountable for our own words and actions. If your friends are so lacking in self-esteem that they feel the need to fabricate or omit the facts, that's their problem - not yours.
  • 100df
    100df Posts: 668 Member
    I ignore because otherwise I get more upset. When I see posts where people talk about how many calories they can eat and still lose, I get very sad. I just have to remember that my situation isn't theirs.

    If you don't want to ignore, you'll have to confront them.
  • usmcmp
    usmcmp Posts: 21,219 Member
    Those things definitely frustrate me. Another is when someone has gotten into great shape without the help of anything and then claims their success is due to this magical product they now sell. I think the reason it bothers me is because it makes helping others harder. If it wasn't for that I would feel bad that the person feels the need to lie about how they got there.
  • MrsKila
    MrsKila Posts: 320 Member
    Fit4LifeAR wrote: »
    Does it ever annoy you when someone claims to get healthy all naturally, yet you know they had help? For example, a friend of mine lost about 150 pounds and loves to give advice on how to diet and "do it right", yet she doesn't tell anyone that she lost the weight by having weight loss surgery. And another friend who claims to have gotten super fit by working out and "eating chicken breast", yet I know for a fact he is taking steroids, and has been for a while now. I don't know why this annoys me, I guess it's that you see people do these amazing things and wonder why it's so much harder for you, and then you find out the truth. Weight loss is great, surgery or not, I just wish people would be honest about what has worked for them. Steroids is never ok, in my opinion, but to each is own.

    I agree!!!!
  • cgvet37
    cgvet37 Posts: 1,189 Member
    I have a friend that juices. He was open to me about it. People that are not honest, only set false perceptions for those trying to become healthier. It's like me saying I made my money on the stock market, but I really inherited it. Then I'm trying to give people advice on the stock market.
  • HealthierRayne
    HealthierRayne Posts: 268 Member
    It just makes me think that these people must be insecure to hide things like this. We all struggle and different things work for different people. To have had surgery but claim to accomplish it all without it makes me think they might be concerned about what people will think of them if they knew the truth. People are super judgmental so I can understand it to a degree.
  • lostgoals
    lostgoals Posts: 57 Member
    Offer her a drink with a straw as for him make off hand comments about shrinkage.
  • JeromeBarry1
    JeromeBarry1 Posts: 10,179 Member
    There are many different kinds of weight loss surgery. My daughter had gastric sleeve surgery where she had to learn to do it right. Eat less and exercise. Liposuction is a different story and nothing is learned about doing anything right by those desperate people.
  • 100df
    100df Posts: 668 Member
    HealthierRayne wrote: »
    It just makes me think that these people must be insecure to hide things like this. We all struggle and different things work for different people. To have had surgery but claim to accomplish it all without it makes me think they might be concerned about what people will think of them if they knew the truth. People are super judgmental so I can understand it to a degree.

    People are extremely judgmental about weight loss surgery. They say it's the easy way out. They don't understand that it's a tool just as counting calories is. You still have to eat at a deficit after surgery. I had the surgery I would be quiet about it. But then I quiet about all things related to weight. Talking about my weight whether up or down is uncomfortable to me.
  • AnneCoolbreze
    AnneCoolbreze Posts: 29 Member
    The only part that bothers me is the is that others might try to mimic and expect the same results. BUT we are all different and even if you try what I actually do to get fit you probably won't get the same results. I usually just MMOB.
  • amusedmonkey
    amusedmonkey Posts: 10,330 Member
    It doesn't annoy me. Both weight loss surgery and people on steroids still have to put in as much effort as we do. Muscles won't grow on their own without exercise and won't show if you have a large layer of fat no matter how many steroids you take, and having to live the rest of your life with certain restrictions and pains is not an easy decision to make. I don't consider it "cheating". There isn't anything to cheat there. Different people use different tools to achieve weight loss.

    People who aren't honest about it aren't being honest for a reason, be it insecurity, shame, or simply not wanting to disclose personal information. Their skeletons and it's for them to sort them out, not for me. I simply don't like to middle. Basically:

    10fe119cdfd134564f897ec7951ac5e6.jpg
  • benjaminhk
    benjaminhk Posts: 353 Member
    Yes, I've experienced this as well though not with anyone as close to me as a friend. I think some people are ashamed to admit they had a little help from other sources. I think there is probably a good market for people that are just brutally honest about what works for them and how they slipped up along the way.
  • Fit4LifeAR
    Fit4LifeAR Posts: 233 Member
    I think what bothers me about my friend who had weight loss surgery, is she loves to compre herself to other people, and she gets pretty judgemental. I heard her making a comment that there is no excuse for not losing weight, and that everyone can lose 2 pounds a week if they try. Well, that's easier said than done when you have had the lap band surgery. LoL I need to stop being a negative nelly.
  • pootle1972
    pootle1972 Posts: 579 Member
    Fit4LifeAR wrote: »
    I think what bothers me about my friend who had weight loss surgery, is she loves to compre herself to other people, and she gets pretty judgemental. I heard her making a comment that there is no excuse for not losing weight, and that everyone can lose 2 pounds a week if they try. Well, that's easier said than done when you have had the lap band surgery. LoL I need to stop being a negative nelly.

    I'd have to call her out on that one.....

  • amusedmonkey
    amusedmonkey Posts: 10,330 Member
    Fit4LifeAR wrote: »
    I think what bothers me about my friend who had weight loss surgery, is she loves to compre herself to other people, and she gets pretty judgemental. I heard her making a comment that there is no excuse for not losing weight, and that everyone can lose 2 pounds a week if they try. Well, that's easier said than done when you have had the lap band surgery. LoL I need to stop being a negative nelly.

    It's very understandable that you want your efforts to be validated because you feel you are working hard for your results, but comparing your level of effort to others will only leave you bitter. The same way your friend is feeling like she had it worse when she had to lose 150 pounds while others have less to lose and seeks validation for her effort and achievement by being judgemental.

    Trust me, from experience, the sooner you get to see that losing weight is not a heroic deed that deserves recognition from others the better you will feel. It's even more fulfilling! Because the validation and rewards are intrinsic to the process itself. Your mirror will validate your efforts. Your blood panel will validate your efforts. Your hard work is bound to pay off in a variety of interesting ways, the latest for me was being able to cross my legs after a lifetime of not being able to.
  • Fit4LifeAR
    Fit4LifeAR Posts: 233 Member
    Oh yeah, I see what you are saying for sure. I lost almost 100 pounds about 7-8 years ago, and I've kept it off, except for 15-20 pounds hat have fluctuated all of those years. I lost it by tracking calories and jogging, and it wasn't easy. Maybe I take it a bit personally because it took me a lot of hard work, and I even thought about the lap band myself. I know how hard it is to lose it, so when I see her judging other people, I get irritated.
  • MrsKila
    MrsKila Posts: 320 Member
    pootle1972 wrote: »
    Fit4LifeAR wrote: »
    I think what bothers me about my friend who had weight loss surgery, is she loves to compre herself to other people, and she gets pretty judgemental. I heard her making a comment that there is no excuse for not losing weight, and that everyone can lose 2 pounds a week if they try. Well, that's easier said than done when you have had the lap band surgery. LoL I need to stop being a negative nelly.

    I'd have to call her out on that one.....

    I agree
  • Unknown
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  • Hearts_2015
    Hearts_2015 Posts: 12,032 Member
    amusedmonkey wrote: »
    Fit4LifeAR wrote: »
    I think what bothers me about my friend who had weight loss surgery, is she loves to compre herself to other people, and she gets pretty judgemental. I heard her making a comment that there is no excuse for not losing weight, and that everyone can lose 2 pounds a week if they try. Well, that's easier said than done when you have had the lap band surgery. LoL I need to stop being a negative nelly.

    It's very understandable that you want your efforts to be validated because you feel you are working hard for your results, but comparing your level of effort to others will only leave you bitter. The same way your friend is feeling like she had it worse when she had to lose 150 pounds while others have less to lose and seeks validation for her effort and achievement by being judgemental.

    Trust me, from experience, the sooner you get to see that losing weight is not a heroic deed that deserves recognition from others the better you will feel. It's even more fulfilling! Because the validation and rewards are intrinsic to the process itself. Your mirror will validate your efforts. Your blood panel will validate your efforts. Your hard work is bound to pay off in a variety of interesting ways, the latest for me was being able to cross my legs after a lifetime of not being able to.

    Not sure anyone can be reminded of this too often!! Appreciate the reminder @amusedmonkey <3
  • twinkles2121
    twinkles2121 Posts: 137 Member
    edited April 2016
    100df wrote: »
    HealthierRayne wrote: »
    It just makes me think that these people must be insecure to hide things like this. We all struggle and different things work for different people. To have had surgery but claim to accomplish it all without it makes me think they might be concerned about what people will think of them if they knew the truth. People are super judgmental so I can understand it to a degree.

    People are extremely judgmental about weight loss surgery. They say it's the easy way out. They don't understand that it's a tool just as counting calories is. You still have to eat at a deficit after surgery. I had the surgery I would be quiet about it. But then I quiet about all things related to weight. Talking about my weight whether up or down is uncomfortable to me.

    Well said. This was going to be my response. I did not have weight loss surgery but I know it's not a magic trick that makes you instantly thinner. You still have to diet and exercise.

    Honestly I would put 'Braggy Brenda' on ignore and if that's not possible then change the subject when she brings it up. But don't judge her to harshly for the surgery. She still worked for it.
  • Fit4LifeAR
    Fit4LifeAR Posts: 233 Member
    I'm not judging her at all for the surgery....at all. I do get upset when she makes comments about people not losing weight fast enough, when she used the weight loss surgery to help. You can't expect the same results if you are losing weight on your own, at 1 pound a week. It is comparing apples to oranges.
  • blues4miles
    blues4miles Posts: 1,481 Member
    It seems pretty understandable to me to be frustrated at people that have had help but somehow criticize other people's slower success.

    But then, this is the American dream, right? We criticize people for not pulling themselves up by their own boostraps. Some of those criticizers inherited money from their parents.
  • PrincessK90210
    PrincessK90210 Posts: 17 Member
    100df wrote: »
    HealthierRayne wrote: »
    It just makes me think that these people must be insecure to hide things like this. We all struggle and different things work for different people. To have had surgery but claim to accomplish it all without it makes me think they might be concerned about what people will think of them if they knew the truth. People are super judgmental so I can understand it to a degree.

    People are extremely judgmental about weight loss surgery. They say it's the easy way out. They don't understand that it's a tool just as counting calories is. You still have to eat at a deficit after surgery. I had the surgery I would be quiet about it. But then I quiet about all things related to weight. Talking about my weight whether up or down is uncomfortable to me.

    I agree. Weight loss surgery is something that isn't supposed to take the place of weight loss. you have to work on it. See my 600 lbs life. The surgery helps, but they need to put the effort in. a lot of people do judge it, so it's not that easy to tell people.
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