Just to make you smile

Anna_Banana
Anna_Banana Posts: 2,939 Member
This should make you smile…
100lady.jpg

SERENITY




Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked,
'How old was your husband?' '98,' she replied.
'Two years older than me'
'So you're 96,' the undertaker commented.
She responded, 'Hardly worth going home, is it?




Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman:
'And what do you think is the best thing
About being 104?' the reporter asked.
She simply replied, 'No peer pressure.'



The nice thing about being senile is
You can hide your own Easter eggs.


I've sure gotten old!
I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement,
New knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes
I'm half blind,
Can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine,
Take 40 different medications that
Make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts.
Have bouts with dementia
Have poor circulation;
Hardly feel my hands and feet anymore.
Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92.
Have lost all my friends. But, thank God,
I still have my driver's license.



I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape,
So I got my doctor's permission to
Join a fitness club and start exercising.
I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors.
I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But,
By the time I got my leotards on,
The class was over.







My memory's not as sharp as it used to be.
Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.



Know how to prevent sagging?
Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.



It's scary when you start making the same noises
As your coffee maker.


These days about half the stuff
In my shopping cart says,
' For fast relief.'


THE SENILITY PRAYER :
Grant me the senility to forget the people
I never liked anyway,

Replies

  • Anna_Banana
    Anna_Banana Posts: 2,939 Member
    This should make you smile…
    100lady.jpg

    SERENITY




    Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked,
    'How old was your husband?' '98,' she replied.
    'Two years older than me'
    'So you're 96,' the undertaker commented.
    She responded, 'Hardly worth going home, is it?




    Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman:
    'And what do you think is the best thing
    About being 104?' the reporter asked.
    She simply replied, 'No peer pressure.'



    The nice thing about being senile is
    You can hide your own Easter eggs.


    I've sure gotten old!
    I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement,
    New knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes
    I'm half blind,
    Can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine,
    Take 40 different medications that
    Make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts.
    Have bouts with dementia
    Have poor circulation;
    Hardly feel my hands and feet anymore.
    Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92.
    Have lost all my friends. But, thank God,
    I still have my driver's license.



    I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape,
    So I got my doctor's permission to
    Join a fitness club and start exercising.
    I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors.
    I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But,
    By the time I got my leotards on,
    The class was over.







    My memory's not as sharp as it used to be.
    Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.



    Know how to prevent sagging?
    Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.



    It's scary when you start making the same noises
    As your coffee maker.


    These days about half the stuff
    In my shopping cart says,
    ' For fast relief.'


    THE SENILITY PRAYER :
    Grant me the senility to forget the people
    I never liked anyway,
  • genabug
    genabug Posts: 1,820 Member
    haha :laugh: Thanks, I needed that!
  • Jackie_W
    Jackie_W Posts: 1,676 Member
    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • :laugh: Love it
  • dewpearl
    dewpearl Posts: 561 Member
    :laugh: ROFL
  • MrsJ
    MrsJ Posts: 27
    :laugh:
  • janiebeth
    janiebeth Posts: 2,509 Member
    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

    Just what I needed today

    Thanks Anna
  • connieq288
    connieq288 Posts: 1,102 Member
    feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape,
    So I got my doctor's permission to
    Join a fitness club and start exercising.
    I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors.
    I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But,
    By the time I got my leotards on,
    The class was over.


    I think my son just looked at me crazy because that one had me laughing so hard.
  • mommared53
    mommared53 Posts: 9,543 Member
    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: Those are so funny. Thanks for the laugh.
  • Puddmuffin
    Puddmuffin Posts: 79 Member
    :bigsmile: hehehe...hohoho...hahaha!!! Thanks, I needed that.