Stress, depression, and a lifelong weight battle

monkeypavillion
monkeypavillion Posts: 4 Member
edited December 2024 in Introduce Yourself
Hi everyone! My name is Ashley. I'm 25, obsessed with cats, and I'm a nerd! I'm also struggling with obesity.

I guess my story is a bit unique...I haven't always been obese or even overweight. My whole life I was naturally model thin. We're talking bones and all. I used to hate the way I looked and all the time wished I could get fat. I would eat so much I'd be unbuttoning my pants. I gained some weight and for a while I was a nice healthy 130lbs.

I started realizing I was skinny fat around the time I was 20. I was at a normal healthy weight but I wasn't really in shape. I started working out and built up great muscle tone. I was around 140lbs and super fit when I was 23. Then life happened.

By this point, my husband and I had to make some financial decisions. I applied for a promotion to a salaried postion at work and got it. My husband and I decided he should go to school full time to finish his bachelor's. I had no idea what kind of stress comes from being a single income family. Before we weren't rich but we were comfortable. I could buy organics and not even blink at my grocery bill. Single income is definitely hard. I had to give up a lot. And still do because my husband is still in school but now I'm managing. All that stress led to depression.

During the two years I was depressed and stressed beyond comprehension I stress ate. A lot. I went from that healthy 140lbs right on up to 210. Its wasn't super gradual either. It was like 40lbs and then another 30. I went to a doctor to make sure I was okay because I was in denial. Eating made me feel good. And I had to have food to live so I could justify spending money on food.

My doctor worked through my depression with me and helped understand my bad habits. He also recommended I use mfp. So far its really helped and I'm 4lbs down! Its a long battle back to 140lbs from 210 but I can do it!

Replies

  • BelleCakes2018
    BelleCakes2018 Posts: 568 Member
    I have also suffered from depression most of my adult life.
    I too was 140lbs at one point and have managed to rise all the way up to 212... twice!

    Well done for being 4lb down! How long have you been on MFP? Any diet you're following in particular or just calorie counting?

    MFP will definitely be helpful in realising just how much you eat as long as you're honest with the food logging and log every single morsel that passes your lips... and the fat the food is cooked in etc! ;)

    There are a lot of nice people on here (some not so much!) but most want to help and support, so do take time to read through the threads and post on any you feel like - just chirp in!x
  • Tualla
    Tualla Posts: 559 Member
    I am happy for you making the commitment. It is much easier when you are young, so be sure to get a handle on it. We are the same weight but I am almost twice your age and the weight is very hard coming off. I would like for us to be friends and we can encourage one another, send me a request. Talk to you soon!
  • monkeypavillion
    monkeypavillion Posts: 4 Member
    Thanks! I've been off and on MFP for about 4 months. I didn't start truly logging until 2 weeks ago. I'm not following any diets just counting calories and truly focusing on whether I'm hungry or not. I've tried diets in the past and they either don't fit my budget or are too much of a hassle. My husband is an extremely picky eater and diets often result in me cooking 2 meals. I'm also working out 30 minutes every morning and power walking or jogging at least 30 minutes in the evening. Sometimes I go for more depending on what muscle groups I worked that morning. :tongue:

    I wish you the best with your depression and weight loss! I know all too well how much it affects your determination and motivation! We can beat it together!!! :smiley:
  • BelleCakes2018
    BelleCakes2018 Posts: 568 Member
    Sounds like you've got it well worked out in your head, and you're being quite active already! Good luck, and look forward to sharing progress!
  • sbadali21
    sbadali21 Posts: 4 Member
    monkeypavillion wrote: »
    Hi everyone! My name is Ashley. I'm 25, obsessed with cats, and I'm a nerd! I'm also struggling with obesity.

    I guess my story is a bit unique...I haven't always been obese or even overweight. My whole life I was naturally model thin. We're talking bones and all. I used to hate the way I looked and all the time wished I could get fat. I would eat so much I'd be unbuttoning my pants. I gained some weight and for a while I was a nice healthy 130lbs.

    I started realizing I was skinny fat around the time I was 20. I was at a normal healthy weight but I wasn't really in shape. I started working out and built up great muscle tone. I was around 140lbs and super fit when I was 23. Then life happened.

    By this point, my husband and I had to make some financial decisions. I applied for a promotion to a salaried postion at work and got it. My husband and I decided he should go to school full time to finish his bachelor's. I had no idea what kind of stress comes from being a single income family. Before we weren't rich but we were comfortable. I could buy organics and not even blink at my grocery bill. Single income is definitely hard. I had to give up a lot. And still do because my husband is still in school but now I'm managing. All that stress led to depression.

    During the two years I was depressed and stressed beyond comprehension I stress ate. A lot. I went from that healthy 140lbs right on up to 210. Its wasn't super gradual either. It was like 40lbs and then another 30. I went to a doctor to make sure I was okay because I was in denial. Eating made me feel good. And I had to have food to live so I could justify spending money on food.

    My doctor worked through my depression with me and helped understand my bad habits. He also recommended I use mfp. So far its really helped and I'm 4lbs down! Its a long battle back to 140lbs from 210 but I can do it!

  • sbadali21
    sbadali21 Posts: 4 Member
    I started this app again at 210 and now im 199 just by cutting calories and eating better. I want to get down to 150/160. Keep up the hard work and you will reach your goal :)
  • monkeypavillion
    monkeypavillion Posts: 4 Member
    Congrats on the loss! :smile:
  • Nixygirl
    Nixygirl Posts: 35 Member
    edited April 2016
    I shared this with another MFP friend on here a few days ago, but it's worth posting here too.

    I am stress eater and I have an anxiety disorder and depression, so it's a deadly combination. I have been morbidly obese since I was a toddler. My Mother taught me how to eat away my unpleasant emotions, and damn it worked well! So well, in fact, that I have a pavlovian-like response to any stress, sadness or upset, I immediately feel intense hunger pains.

    When I started on here almost 3-months ago I weighed 245-kgs (540-lbs), in the last 77-days I have lost 34-kgs (75-lbs). So I still have a long journey ahead of me, but I plan on being a healthy grey nomad in my old age.

    Now, about 6-weeks ago, my partner's Dad died, so it has been high-stress at home! Usually, I would cope by eating with abandon. But I'm committed to this lifestyle change, I can't let emotional eating control me anymore. Anyway, I found a passage by Judith Beck which has helped me immensely in the last month or so.

    Every time I want to eat because I'm sad or stressed now, I take a few moments to read this passage (sometimes out loud). Then I close my eyes, breath deeply for a moment and the hunger passes, so I can get on with the rest of my day.

    Here's the passage:

    "If I want to lose weight permanently, I have to stop eating when I'm upset-every time. People without weight problems don't eat when they're upset. They either tolerate their negative emotions or try to solve the problem or call a friend or take a walk or go online or read a magazine or watch television. But they don't eat."

    "Negative emotions are uncomfortable but not dangerous. I don't have to "fix" them. I've had lots of times when I've felt very upset but I haven't eaten. I've never exploded or lost control. The worst thing that will happen if I don't eat is that my distress will peak and then the intensity of my emotions will go down. "

    "If I eat, I'll be temporarily distracted from my distress but whatever problem led to my distress in the first place will still be there and then I'll also have the problem of feeling badly that I ate and I'll really feel badly when I see that the scale has gone up."

    Taking a moment to read this during those times has helped me stay under my calorie limit every day. I hope it helps you too :smile:
  • 143tobe
    143tobe Posts: 620 Member
    Hi, I'm so happy that you're here! I too have suffered from Depression and was never able to handle stress like 'normal' people. I started here about 3 years ago at 218 lbs, had some successes, but my weight went back up, although, never as high as when I started. I'm currently at 175.8 lbs (as of this morning, lol) and I feel like MFP has helped me tremendously. Moderation has definitely become my friend. Please add me if you would like some support on your journey!
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