How can I motivate my gf?

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ArmandsBerzs
ArmandsBerzs Posts: 13 Member
in Chit-Chat
She is not very fat but far from ripped and has developed some belly during winter. She complains about it a lot but doesn't really do anything. How can I motivate her to action?
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  • _incogNEATo_
    _incogNEATo_ Posts: 4,543 Member
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    Break up. The depression usually leads to a decreased appetite and after that stage comes the desire to be better than they were before. She will be so hot!!
  • positivepowers
    positivepowers Posts: 902 Member
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    You can't. Keep doing what you're doing to stay healthy, then if she decides to change, support her. If you can't do this, find someone whose goals and lifestyle are similar to yours.
  • Rockchick09
    Rockchick09 Posts: 200 Member
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    We're all different but I'd love to go to the gym with a SO..

    All those couple work out video's looks so good. Could you perhaps show her them and ask if she'd do some of that stuff with you?
  • Shells918
    Shells918 Posts: 1,070 Member
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    She has to want to do it for herself. You can ask her to join you at the gym, or to prepare healthy meals together. If she really wants to lose weight, she'll go for it. If she takes it defensively back off and love her the way she is if you can.
  • whmscll
    whmscll Posts: 2,254 Member
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    You can't motivate her. She has to want to do it. On the other hand, you can tell her you don't want to hear any more complaints unless she does something about it.
  • lseed87
    lseed87 Posts: 1,110 Member
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    Ask if she wants to go for a walk etc
  • claer947
    claer947 Posts: 56 Member
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    _incogNEATo_ wrote: »
    Break up. The depression usually leads to a decreased appetite and after that stage comes the desire to be better than they were before. She will be so hot!!

    Smartassery in full effect, and yet probably true
  • ncboiler89
    ncboiler89 Posts: 2,408 Member
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    ArmandsBerzs wrote: »
    She is not very fat but far from ripped and has developed some belly during winter. She complains about it a lot but doesn't really do anything. How can I motivate her to action?

    Tell her you are going to dump her unless she conforms to your idea of an acceptable body form.
  • Ws2016
    Ws2016 Posts: 432 Member
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    All you can do is motivate yourself. You can be fit and hope she looks at you favorably and starts taking better care of herself. Or you can leave her for a gym hottie. Oh, whatever you do, don't marry that girlfriend.
  • PersianKitty94
    PersianKitty94 Posts: 623 Member
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    You can't. She'll get her feelings hurt and probably hate you forever for insisting that she's fat.
  • Angela937
    Angela937 Posts: 514 Member
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    You don't. Leave her alone. Tell her she's beautiful. Let her motivate herself unless she asks you to something specific.
  • jackie_van_d
    jackie_van_d Posts: 240 Member
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    PersianKitty94 wrote: »
    You can't. She'll get her feelings hurt and probably hate you forever for insisting that she's fat.
    Angela937 wrote: »
    You don't. Leave her alone. Tell her she's beautiful. Let her motivate herself unless she asks you to something specific.
    Most ladies are VERY sensitive about their weight, just keep doing your thing, if and when she's ready, do not bug or push / police her but be VERY caring and encouraging. Start small, a short walk in the evening, a pedometer and let HER set her daily step goal. Be supportive
  • sbrya03
    sbrya03 Posts: 40 Member
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    I suggest you throw all unhealthy foods away and started exercising together
  • shadowfax_c11
    shadowfax_c11 Posts: 1,942 Member
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    Motivation comes from the inside. You can inspire and provide an example but it is her choice whether or not she wants to change and you need to accept her for who she is no matter what she choses. If you can't do that then you probably are not the right guy for her.
  • hdatres
    hdatres Posts: 635 Member
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    You said she's not that fat, she's complaining about it because she wants you to make her feel less conscious of herself. Give her some complements to build up her self-esteem. The better she feels about herself the more she's willing to go out, and knowing that she is still beautiful to you
  • punkrockgoth
    punkrockgoth Posts: 534 Member
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    Are you active? How are your eating habits? If not, start working on this yourself. Leading by example is powerful. Keeping healthy food in the house, going for walks together, finding interesting date nights. My partner and I started with pizza/netflix&chill dates but now our dates are go for long walks, adventure to the trampoline park, go to the farmer's market and pick our fresh veggies together. We've both lost weight and become happier and healthier. Me by using MFP and calorie counting, him by focusing on cooking at home, adding more fresh foods and tracking his choices using Habitica.

    If you are active and eat well, is there any reason she doesn't join you? Are you supper ripped running 8 minute miles benching 350 while being snarky about n00bs? Do you assume she wouldn't want to join you? Is she just not interested? You could explore new foods and active activities together and find things you enjoy doing together while still making time for your own workouts.
  • Sophialayton
    Sophialayton Posts: 71 Member
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    BrianM714 wrote: »
    Be careful with this concept. Even with the best intentions, trying to motivate your SO can be mistaken for being overly critical of her physical attractiveness, especially if she is showing a lack of motivation on her part. My advice, wait for her to bring it up, and when she does be sure to voice your support for her and her fitness.

    Spot on

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