A couple of questions about your journey so far

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Hi all,
This is my first post on the MFP forum, although I have been apart of the world for over 12 months now. My weight story has many lows; including being an very overweight teenager, losing to much weight with an extremely restrictive diet and hating pregnancy (because I was getting fat - even though I wasn't). However, in between the lows I have had some amazing weight related highs, most notable the period where I started eating probably and realizing that I loved my body, and now where I have dropped the pregnancy weight after two babies (I loved my second pregnancy by the way) and am finally feeling great about myself.
My weight journey has inspired me to start down a new career path. I am currently half way through a Bachelor of Health Science degree majoring in Food and Nutrition. My course is fantastic when learning about the science of food, how the body functions and how people lose and gain weight but I realized today, whilst doing a spot of people watching, that what my degree is lacking is the psychology behind why people gain weight and what motivates them to lose it.
So I was hoping that some of you lovely people would be willing to share a little behind your weight story with me so that I can gain a little more insight into the personal element of weight lose/gain.
So my questions really are; How did you come to gain weight? What motivated you to start losing weight? And why didn't you start your weight loss journey sooner?
Hope to chat with some of you soon,
JayJay
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Replies

  • thereshegoesagain
    thereshegoesagain Posts: 1,056 Member
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    I think it may be difficult for you to get many answers to some of your questions.
    Speaking for myself and several of my overweight/formerly overweight friends, the main reason for gaining weight in the first place is because food comforts and doesn't judge.
    I was abused as a child, so to deal with it I ate and ate. Despite years of therapy, it wasn't until I was in my mid-50's and retired that I had the time and inclination to deal with losing weight for the right reasons.
    The reason many people allow themselves to put on weight in the first place is very personal and be very painful.
    Congratulations on your chosen career path, you will surely help many, many people.
  • rosecropper
    rosecropper Posts: 340 Member
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    My adult weight has fluctuated between 120lb to 180lb over the last 25 years (size 2-14).
    The gains are generally associated with physical injury (impedes my ability to exercise) and/or emotional stress&sadness (comfort eating) or genuine laziness (I love my bed!). A few times, illness has caused unintentional drastic weight changes.
    Switching to a vegetarian diet over a year ago has definitely led to weight gain- carbs!
    I'm motivated most to get fit when even the "fat" clothes stop fitting and my level of performance in daily activities suffers.
    Right now I'm about 25lb over my ideal, and it's hard to understand how I let this happen. Every day I think THIS is the day I turn it around, but then I go home and eat ice cream and watch Netflix.
    How centered I am spiritually is key to my body's health. That is what I'm missing now.
    When my relationship with God is strong, I have a much healthier relationship with food, exercise, and everything else in my life.
  • ReaderGirl3
    ReaderGirl3 Posts: 868 Member
    edited April 2016
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    I was thin up until after my third pregnancy (3 pregnancies, 22 months a part from the next- kids are now 7, 9 and 11). After my son was born I didn't lose the pregnancy weight like I naturally did with my daughters. I also started gaining additional weight as I let portion sizes get out of control (I remember eating two bagels instead of one, ordering super sized at fast food with the larger fries and regular coke etc). Within a couple years my weight hit its highest point and I had a bmi of around 27.

    And frankly I didn't care. My entire family tree is full of overweight and obese people. All my girlfriends were overweight. In my circle, being overweight was just a part of being a mom. The creeping weight didn't bother me, until I had some unexpected blood work done in the fall of 2012. That showed a very high glucose number and my doctor sent me in to get an oral glucose test, with the warning that I very well could be a type 2 diabetic. I lost a grandfather to type 2, my grandmother is losing her battle with it, after struggling with it for years (she now struggles to walk because her feet are so bad from nerve damage, and it's horrible to watch her diabetes progress). There's others in my family who have/had it and it's a terrible way to live. Thing is, every single one of them are/were overweight/obese.

    I went into my test scared to death and my family and I prepared for the worst. Thankfully the test came back high, but not high enough to give a diagnosis of full blown diabetes. My doctor labeled me a prediabetic, and told me my best chance to prevent full blown diabetes was to lose weight. I started the day I got that phone call and lost around 50lbs, improved my glucose number (consistently in the 80s now), and I've been in maintenance for 3 years now :)
  • BelleCakes2018
    BelleCakes2018 Posts: 568 Member
    edited April 2016
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    I gained weight through comfort eating as a child due to being abused when young, being lonely and withdrawn and not having any friends.

    What motivated me to lose it is because I got a job that I loved and met and spoke with people everyday and realised that there are nice people out there... I guess I was happier in all honesty..nice people made me happy. Therefore I didn't feel the need to comfort eat through sadness and loneliness and the weight slowly came off

    I didn't do it sooner because there has always been an element of self sabotage in me that stems back to childhood and poor self esteem. As soon as I would lose a little weight I would become nervous and embarrassed at the extra attention I was getting from the opposite sex and just wanted to hide away and become invisible again. Therefore it took me a long time to lose weight and subsequently I have gained it back several times over the years.
  • DeviatedNorm
    DeviatedNorm Posts: 422 Member
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    I was always a thick kid, not overweight but by highschool I thought I was enough that I didn't care about what I ate. Piles of creamy pastas and soda, and I slowly put on the lbs. By the time I was adult I was definitely overweight, and this fueled my poor eating habits more -- I was already fat, why bother?

    Then, when I quit smoking at 31 I really put on the pounds. Like 50lbs in 3 years. I was no longer putting cigarettes in my mouth, so I put everything else in my mouth. There were times when I'd have two giant slices of pie from Village Inn, pretending I was buying the second one for someone else. :disappointed:

    I knew I needed to make a change and made a few small bursts. Last spring I bought a bike.

    But then last summer my father got sick, and my summer/fall was spent in the hospital until he passed away. I'd remembered how he told me to keep riding that danged bike. A month after he passed away I decided that in his memory, I'd work my butt off to lose weight. Friends had spoken well of MFP, so this is where I started. And where, for the time in my life, I actually lost weight.

    Today I'm approaching 6 months of MFP (166 days), and I'm approaching 60 lbs lost (58.5).

    I wish it hadn't taken something so drastic to motivate me. I wish my father could see what great progress I've made. But I'm glad I could do something good with his death.
  • chimaerandi
    chimaerandi Posts: 153 Member
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    How did you come to gain weight?

    A dear friend died and I threw myself into running, not eating, and drinking heavily. My weight was the one thing I could control. I got down to 103 pounds, which is underweight for my height. I got therapy, which was great and saved my life, but in trying to repair my body, I got up to 200 pounds.


    What motivated you to start losing weight?

    I negotiated a healthy relationship with running and food, so I decided I thought I was emotionally healthy enough to start losing.

    And why didn't you start your weight loss journey sooner?

    I wasn't fat for a terribly long time. Two years, ish, or so, maybe a bit more. I didn't start it until I was sure I could negotiate a healthy relationship with weight loss and myself. I now weigh less than I did originally, am close to my original goal weight, and need to be very careful about any desire to go lower and make sure I'm being healthy.
  • crazygooselady
    crazygooselady Posts: 76 Member
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    I was always thin. When I had my first child I went to 140, the doctor said that I should go for 135. I had two more, moved, liked the food I cooked and didn't move enough. Diabetes runs in my family. I officially became "overweight" by about ten pounds and decided that I shouldn't gain any more. So, I have been moving more and eating less and slowly getting back to my goal weight.
  • amynicole4104
    amynicole4104 Posts: 26 Member
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    I had always been a little chubby as a kid and teenager. I gained a little in my early twenties and was a little overweight. Over the next 10ish years I slowly gained until i was almost 200 pounds (I'm about 5'5"). I decided to lose some weight and ended up at MFP. Over 3 months I lost around 20 pounds but a lot happened in my life and logging stopped. I slowly put back on the 20 pounds over the last 3 years.
    I gained because I LOVE food!! I love "comfort" food and cakes and cookies and you name it. I probably lIke it. I just love food. I had zero portion control. I ate what sounded good and ate too much.

    What motivated me?
    I have a hiatal hernia and was having issues. I had esophageal ulcers and gatritis so I wasn't eating as much and was losing a little weight. I decided to get back on MFP and start logging again since I was losing anyway. I did NOT want the hernia surgery and my dr said losing the extra weight would help the hernia.

    Why didn't I start sooner?
    I had no idea how easy it actually was! I could still eat my faves and still lose weight???!!! That's awesome!!!

    I have learned portion control and make better choices now, while still enjoying my food!! I have lost a total of 35ish pounds. I am down from 196 to 160.8!! And my hernia is tons better!!

    Good luck with your schooling. That's awesome!
  • plami_9209
    plami_9209 Posts: 67 Member
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    I started gaining weight when I started living with my grandmother in the 4th grade. Before that I was a really slim child, mostly because my mum had forbidden all sorts of unhealthy foods at home. Which meant I never ate excessive amounts of sweets or baked goods, but my gran really wanted to make me happy so she would cook for me all my favourite thing, which I would devour in seconds and that caused me my first major weight gain. Since I was still growing, this had an ultimate effect on my weight ever since. I struggled with my weight a lot in my teenage years and I tried every single diet at the time. Fortunately I was very active, so I never looked fat, but I was very muscular and very not feminine. I quit martial arts and dancing in my senior year in high school, and I gained 10 kg almost right away. After that I started the 90 day diet and lost 9 kg. I didn`t gain it back, which meant the diet was super effective and I created healthy habits which helped me maintain the weight I lost, no sugar, no baked goods, no fizzy drinks and so on. But years later after I started living with my boyfriend at his parents place I found that I couldn`t say no to cakes, baked yummies and pancakes when they were right in fron of me. And they had something of the sort every single day. SO for about a year I gained 20 KG! I was getting really depressed, I felt bad about myself and I started trying out diets that have at one point in time worked for me. But non of them worked twice. I don`t know how, but someone told me about MFP and I decided to try it. I lost 10 kg for a year and to be honest I don`t really eat the healthiest things, but I realized how much foot and calories I actually consume after that it was just a question of getting used to a smaller calorie intake. I didn`t start earlier because it happened so fast I couldn`t realise how much I had gained.

    Good luck to all of you and thanks for sharing your stories!
  • cheetah827
    cheetah827 Posts: 2 Member
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    Wow! Thank you guys so much for replying. Your stories are all amazing and they all really show that a persons weight/health depend on a lot more than just what you eat. Every weight related journey is incredible personal and I feel so very grateful that you all were willing to share your past with me. Congratulations on all the weight that has been lost. I sincerely hope that you all reach your goals. I am going to try to be more active on the MFP forum so I hope to 'see' you around. Best of luck guys, and thanks.
  • godlikepoetyes
    godlikepoetyes Posts: 442 Member
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    mgookin1 wrote: »
    How did I come to gain weight? It started around Middle School, When I was getting bullied, So I became an emotional eater. Over the years I struggled with Eater disorders, Weight problems, Emotional problems, Etc. Instead of getting the help I needed, I hid away and ate.

    What motivated me? I honestly have no idea. I have been yoyoing on diets for years. When I got pregnant and was on bed rest completely by 10 weeks, I let myself and I stopped caring about myself and my body. Its been 2 years since I was pregnant, and I literally woke up a week ago and said I couldn't do it anymore. It hurt to walk, Move, pretty much everything in general, I saw the looks people gave me on the streets, I have heard the comments from my own parents and siblings when no one thought I was listening. I was watching my 600 pounds life, and all I can think of is this is me in a few years if nothing changes. Simply put, I want to get back to a healthier and happier self, I want to be able to run around and play with my now toddler without being out of breath within a few minutes.

    Why didnt I start earlier? I have, This is my 5th Time I believe trying to lose weight. First time was when I was 16, I lost 100 pounds - From 280 to 180. Then college happened. Second time was when I moved out of state, Weight loss wasn't intentional. Had no car so walked everywhere, and struggled financially so there were some days I didn't eat at all. Gained it all back when I moved back home. Third time Tried Weight watchers, Lost 40 pounds, but became to expensive to upkeep, so I left and ended up gaining everything back. Tried South beach twice since then, But I can't handle the strict restrictions, It just sets me up for failure, and without support, I ended back in square one.

    No one in my life knows what I am doing now, Just my MFP family. I haven't said anything to anyone because they will be judging every little thing I am doing now and I don't want the extra stress on me, because If I get stressed out, It will just push me back to where I was to begin with. I will let them find out / Notice on their own time.

    Yes. Keep it to yourself. Losing weight is a delicate thing for anyone with food issues. A private thing. Good for you for realizing this and taking care of yourself.
  • godlikepoetyes
    godlikepoetyes Posts: 442 Member
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    I’ve never had a healthy relationship with food. I’ve also never had a healthy relationship with my body. That’s way I’ve always “struggled” with food, with my weight. With my body.

    I’m bipolar, so it’s difficult for me not to think in “all or nothing” terms. I wasn’t given the skills I needed to cope with the realities of life. I had, quite literally, a Southern Gothic childhood—mental illness, alcoholism, excessive Religion, secrets. My mother had an unhealthy relationship with food. I learned from her, and from fashion magazines, that looks counted more than anything. My body was on display, always under scrutiny.

    My environment is now, and always has been, full of food choices. So many choices. I’m just now learning that I CHOOSE what to eat. And I don’t have to choose everything. It’s up to me. I know this now. It’s made all the difference.

    I posted a success story yesterday—“How Making Choices Helped Me Lose 80 Pounds.” I talk about this more there.
  • dutchandkiwi
    dutchandkiwi Posts: 1,389 Member
    edited April 2016
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    How did you come to gain weight?
    Simply by eating a little too much on a near daily basis and with that reducing my excersise as that got harder. Ton of reasons for doing so, but it came down to that.
    Some of the reasons
    I work in a department where it is common to celebrate successes with cake as well as (25) birthdays. We had an large number of success and as a result we had a lot of cake. I never said no even if I knew it was not a good idea.
    High stress environment. Yes we had succeess but at the time we were also going through a major restructuring and nobdy was 100% of their job. That grates and feeds all insecurities I had. And as per welll trodden path in my life I soothed those with food.

    What motivated you to start losing weight?

    My aim was never to loose weight. I always saw that as the welcome side effect to getting fitter and healthier again.
    I analysed at what time in my life I felt best about me, myself and I. As it turns out; when I had an active lifestyle and handled stress through excersise instead of food. That was my key. Dleaing with the restructuring stress in a healthy way, reducing some health issues (allergies/breathing) and potentially loosing a few kg in the process.
    As it turns out I started to loose lots of weight as my fitness levels rose to current, not seen for 30 years, levels.

    And why didn't you start your weight loss journey sooner?
    I did. I always lost weight if I simply logged on a piece of paper what I ate. Simple and generally effective. But also a case of going away for business and forgetting your booklet., Not remembering where it is etc etc.
    I had therefore lost some already on my own before MFP
    I needed something that suited me and my lifestyle. MFP being multiplatform is perfect for me. I can access it at home, at work on my tablet and on both my wok an private phone. I have no reason/excuse not to log.
  • hamstertango
    hamstertango Posts: 129 Member
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    Weight gains over the years were generally to do with a lack of interest in cooking (resulting in poor food choices, easy options), comfortable relationships (lots of takeaways and dining out)
    Not knowing actually how many calories my body needed, so avoiding the calorie subject completely because it was all witchcraft and wizardry to me!

    Decision to lose weight once and for all was because my big size clothes were getting tight, my backside looked Huuuuge in the mirror when I accidentally caught sight of it and every photo with me in it was being instantly deleted.

    There was absolutely NO way I was going to buy bigger clothes, clothes that I would hate as much as I hated my body at that point.

    Luckily I found MFP within a week of my decison, it TOLD me exactly how many calories I needed to lose weight, logged some normal food days (logging was so easy and appealed to my analytical nature) and that log of 'normal' days food was the shock that led to success! MFP and the community taught me that it's actually all so simple and given me the knowledge to a achieve an adulthood dream I never knew how to achieve of being one of those people who eats healthy and maintains a healthy weight.

    All good!
  • MyPathway
    MyPathway Posts: 61 Member
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    I think I learned bad eating habits very young since I was heavy as a kid. Both my parents were overweight when I was younger and I think I just followed their lifestyle. They were doing their best to give me anything I needed as a child, and I am thankful to them.

    Getting older, I tried to get healthier and I did change many of the bad eating habits. So my weight went down to a healthy level and over the years I gained back about 20 lbs because of too much partying, drinking alcohol and eating at restaurant all of the time.

    At some point I decided I needed to lose again so I started running and ate very small portions (probably too small) and lost the pounds again pretty fast.

    Time went by and I got into a depression for 2 years. I stopped everything, no more running, I was sleeping all day, eating too much, I took anti-depressant that also have weight gain as a side effect to add to the depressive, inactive, comforting eating state. By the end of those 2 years I gained a lot of weight.

    And here I am, feeling stronger than ever now and trying to lose again. So I think I have always wanted to be skinnier. You ask what motivated me to start losing weight and why I didn't start earlier. Well, I was always in and out in a weight loss journey and it started when I was a teenager...

    What changed now is the thinking. I don't do this only for a weight loss. I do this for a lifestyle change. I hope that calories counting will help me learn what I can eat in highest quantities and what as to be moderated. I want to learn the correct portions size as well.
  • ObsidianMist
    ObsidianMist Posts: 519 Member
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    cheetah827 wrote: »
    So my questions really are; How did you come to gain weight? What motivated you to start losing weight? And why didn't you start your weight loss journey sooner?

    I lost my job, got on EI, so was suddenly less active, and I'm sure being on Seroquel contributed, plus it was around my 30th birthday so just getting older and my naturally fast metabolism slowing down some.

    motivation was being disgusted by having a big round stomach that at first made me look a few months pregnant then eventually got big enough that I probably could've passed for 5 or 6 months pregnant.

    I was resistant to/uninterested in exercising all my life, I got to the age my friends were all starting to go to the gym and I was like I don't wanna... I hate exercise.... it just makes me feel tired and sweaty and gross. plus I really enjoyed being able to just eat whatever I wanted whenever I wanted because I'd been able to do it my whole life and it was just what I was used to. the thought of having to moderate what I ate was really depressing, lol. I love food and I love eating and snacking and all of it. so yeah it took me a while to get there.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,874 Member
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    cheetah827 wrote: »
    How did you come to gain weight? What motivated you to start losing weight? And why didn't you start your weight loss journey sooner?
    Hope to chat with some of you soon,
    JayJay

    I put on most of my weight in my 30s...I graduated college at 30 and started my professional career which has been largely behind a desk...at the same time, I was just starting my family as well. Most of my life I've been pretty active...I was involved in sports and athletics growing up, then the military, and in college I didn't have a car for much of the time so I biked and walked pretty much everywhere...I also spent a lot of my free time hiking or playing ultimate frisbee with my buddies, etc. I basically went from being pretty active to being pretty sedentary.

    I didn't really care about losing weight...when I was 38 I went in for my annual checkup and came back with some really bad blood work. I decided I needed to make a point of eating better and getting in regular exercise...losing about 40 Lbs was a nice bi-product of getting my crap together.

    I didn't start sooner because I didn't really care about how much I weighed...I only started when I realized I needed to improve my blood work.
  • charmmeth
    charmmeth Posts: 936 Member
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    I was slim (or even at times under-weight until my late 20s): it did not seem to matter what I ate, so long as i was getting a bit of exercise (mostly walking to uni) I did not put on weight. Like my mother and my grandfather, when I hit my mid-thirties I gained weight significantly. When I met my husband in 1998 I was 34 and still weighed 68kg (150lb) which for my height is towards the lower end of the normal bmi spectrum. By the time we married in 2002 I weighed 78kg which is towards the upper end. I thought this was genetics. Then I went to work in a job which fed me as part of my salary (three course meals at lunch and dinner if I wanted them) and I became bigger and bigger. By late 2011, I weighed nearly 90 kg, but I still thought I had nothing to worry about in terms of weight (though I was beginning to describe myself as statuesque), and that this was my genes so it was just the way it was.

    In December 2011, I exchanged notes with a friend, realised that I was into the overweight category of bmi, moving towards obese, and decided I ought to do something about it. My original aim was to get myself to 80 kg, which for me is the top of normal bmi. I did that within about 3 months without doing much more than restrict protions according to a suggested diet plan. But I like cooking and don't like being told what to eat or having my meals planned for me. So I stopped doing the plan, and over the next couple of years regained 5kg. In September 2014, my asthma nurse said she thought I ought to try to do something about my weight which was 85/86kg. I couldn't work out what I was doing wrong as I knew was eating reasonably healthily and had not gone back to my old portion sizes. That is when I discovered mfp and the ability to log what I really eat, and to look at the balance between carbs, fat and protein, which for me is key (as is cutting back on gluten based carbs such as pasta and bread). Within two months, I was back within a normal bmi, and aiming first to weigh less than 80kg at any time of the day or night (e.g. i nthe afternoon after lunch when I tend to see my asthma nurse!) and to have a morning weight more mid-bmi. I didn't want to get back to 68kg, which I used to find was on the low side for me, but am now maintaining between 70kg and 72kg and that feels very comfortable.

    So for me this has been a journey of realising that just because my mother and grandfather put on weight in their mid-thirties, I didn't have to follow suit (and that I was not predestined to gain weight). However, I have also had to adapt to the fact that my metabolism did change in my early/mid-thirties, and that I can no longer eat as much as I like without its making any difference. I know that summer holidays (lots of eating out with my husband on holiday) and Christmas will be times when I put on weight - but I also know now how to lose it again.
  • Ponkeen
    Ponkeen Posts: 147 Member
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    Why did i gain?
    I developed early, and was an overly sensitive kid that got picked on a lot. In the 5th grade my chest ballooned out to a b-cup from nothing, and suddenly one of the nicknames being thrown at me (other than 'hey ugly') was 'Dolly Parton.' Now, i happen to love Dolly Parton, but at the age of 11 i was not ready to BE Dolly, or to be looked at by both young boys and adult men (yeah, it happens). I started putting on the usual amount of adolescent weight around that time, got teased for that as well, developed anorexia/bulimia in high school, struggled with that for several years, and then finally, 6-7 years ago, decided i was going to try to focus on being happy in my own skin. I put on about 60 pounds over 6 years.

    Why did i start to lose weight?
    It was time. I wasnt happy being fat, although i did manage to grow a lot as a person.

    Why did it take so long to start?
    Fat, for me, meant safety. It meant not having to try to look good, or meet people, or date, because i assumed that they wouldnt be interested anyway. I mean, full disclosure, i am myself not particulaly attracted to men that are overweight (sorry), so why would anyone be attracted to me? But relationships are messy and fraught with peril, so avoiding them and hiding myself under excess layers of fat meant being safe. As well, it wasnt all bad. Like i said, i grew as a person when i was fat and learned to value things about myself (and others) apart from just physical appearance a lot more than i had before.
    But now i want to be healthy. Now, it is time.
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