I am pathetic.

midlifesally
midlifesally Posts: 26 Member
edited December 1 in Health and Weight Loss
I am pathetic. can't seem to keep myself on track re: diet. I have good intentions, then end up overeating. It is very, very, very hard for me to resist sweets.
Maybe I have a deep seated fear of losing weight? Or is that too weird?
Every day I get up with good intentions then go to bed feeling like a loser.
My lifestyle is chaotic. I rarely eat a meal at home (I travel or end up at my kids' houses most evenings)
The sugar cravings are the worst.
Any advice is appreciated.
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Replies

  • maasha81
    maasha81 Posts: 733 Member
    Can you limit access to sweet treats ...don't keep it in the house . Choose an alternative option such as fruit. Another choice is to save enough cals to have that sweet treat.

    I used to be one of those persons who had to have something sweet after lunch and dinner. For me I decided to limit my portions and eventually stopped craving sweet after a meal. I still do indulge on occasions and make allowances but I do not let it control me.

  • KimBedard11
    KimBedard11 Posts: 2 Member
    For one thing you have to change your attitude ! You're not pathetic. It sounds like you're simply filling a void with sugar. You need an activity that gives you the same "high" as sugar. And there's lots of naturally sweet foods out there to satisfy your sweet tooth. The less sugar you eat, the less you will eventually need to satisfy the craving.
  • onlytati
    onlytati Posts: 45 Member
    Don't bring yourself down. This is not an easy road. You need motivation and accountability. Someone to say, "hey, don't eat that!". I need it too. I need someone to "how come you didn't work out today?" Or "that starbucks wasn't really necessary, but I'm sure you will do better next time". Feel free to add me.
  • chanjm13
    chanjm13 Posts: 1 Member
    First, you are not pathetic. We all make mistakes and slip up. I have the same problem I love sweets! And I mean I love sweets to the point that I could just eat sweets and nothing else so just know that you are not alone. Losing weight is hard but the most important thing is to not be so hard on yourself, you're only human. So if you slip up and eat something not in your "diet" list just don't give up and say "screw it, the day is ruined! I might as well eat whatever I want now." Instead get right back on track, you can do it!
  • emdeesea
    emdeesea Posts: 1,823 Member
    You don't have a fear of losing weight. You are just set in very bad habits.

    It takes time and a WHOLE LOT of effort to break lifetime bad habits. But it can be done. It just take a lot of work, a lot of determination, and a lot of stubbornness. You fall off the horse, you get back on it. You never stop. You never give up.

    If you really do have a sweet tooth that you can't control, don't keep it in the house. I've gotten mine under control yet even after 5 years there are still things I can't keep in the house. Nutella is one of them. It's one of the few things I have no control over so it's better if it's not there.

    If your life is that chaotic you will have to find whatever works for you. If you have to pack lunches/dinners then that's what you have to do. Either way, you can do it.
  • booksandchocolate12
    booksandchocolate12 Posts: 1,741 Member
    edited April 2016
    Is it possible that when you decide, "It's time for me to get healthy and do something about my weight!" that you go all out, eliminate all the foods you love and restrict yourself too much? It's easy to do that when you first decide to try to lose weight, and you're all gung-ho, but it can sometimes backfire and you end up bingeing and getting completely off track.

    Put your stats into MFP. Don't set a weekly weight loss goal that's too aggressive (for example, if you only need to lose 20 lbs, don't set it for 2 lbs per week). Create balanced meals and snacks within your calorie goal, and try to make room for a treat for yourself each day.

    Good luck!
  • queenliz99
    queenliz99 Posts: 15,317 Member
    thorsmom01 wrote: »
    If you believe that you can't do this then you probably won't do it.
    If you really want to, you will !
    Do you think your the only person here who loves sweets?! I love sweets too ! I have just learned moderation and portion control. You can too !
    For weight loss, all you need is a calorie deficit. Calories in - calories out. Eat less then you burn and you will lose weight.

    This^^

    Check out my diary, it's full good stuff!! Cringeworthy!! LOL
  • Psychgrrl
    Psychgrrl Posts: 3,177 Member
    Find alternatives to sweets that fit better for you. I love my Salted Carmel Quest Protein Powder. For a treat I make it with lots of ice and unsweetened soy milk and it's like ice cream. I also love Oikos Triple Zero Banana Cream yogurt with fresh strawberries of blackberries.
  • MommyL2015
    MommyL2015 Posts: 1,411 Member
    Nah, you're not pathetic, you're human and humans like food, especially the sweet kind. I have had many cringe-worthy days in the past year, and it has not stopped me, nor do I feel bad about them at all. Food is delicious and I will never feel bad about eating any of it! ;) I just don't have high-calorie days nearly as much as I used to (every day), and I move a lot more than I used to, so it all balances out.
  • Ninkyou
    Ninkyou Posts: 6,666 Member
    thorsmom01 wrote: »
    If you believe that you can't do this then you probably won't do it.
    If you really want to, you will !
    Do you think your the only person here who loves sweets?! I love sweets too ! I have just learned moderation and portion control. You can too !
    For weight loss, all you need is a calorie deficit. Calories in - calories out. Eat less then you burn and you will lose weight.

    This.

    Do you suffer from an "all or nothing" mentality? Do you eat lunch out and then think to yourself, "well, I might as well just give up for the rest of the day"? Because that happened to me alot before I got serious. It was only after ditching that outlook and understanding that I could fit the eating out and sweets into my calorie goal that the clouds seemed to part and I was successful. TBH, we're all busy. We all live chaotic or hectic lives. But we're still able to make things work because we've learned to fit fast food and cravings or substitutes into our days, and that works for us. It can work for you too, you just have to work at it and find your happy medium and appropriate calorie goal.
  • asteriskthat
    asteriskthat Posts: 73 Member
    I agree with the other posts here: you're not pathetic! You're a human being and that simple fact makes you amazing.
    I'm going to suggest a different tactic; maybe you could have a go at getting more structure into your life before giving yourself a hard time about what you eat. It may help with the weightloss once structure is involved. However, I know some people found their life fell into olace once they were on track with a healthy lifestyle, so it goes both ways. Just something to think about.
    Another thing to think about is baby-steps. I'm just getting back on track after a few months away from mfp, and my first thing is to log EVERYTHING, even if I have a terrible day nutritionally (I used to just not log and count the day as a loss when I had too much of certain foods). So far it seems to help. Once I'm comfortable with that habit, I'm going to try and focus on choosing nutritionally balanced foods. TL;DR: Baby-steps.
    Add me if you need the support!
  • PaulaWallaDingDong
    PaulaWallaDingDong Posts: 4,644 Member
    I'm not good with words, so... <3
  • myheartsabattleground
    myheartsabattleground Posts: 2,040 Member
    The sooner you stop feeling sorry for yourself, the sooner you can do something positive in your life.
  • gabbo34
    gabbo34 Posts: 289 Member
    Sugar cravings are the worst. I'm a big believer that there is a near physical chemical reaction a lot of us have to sugar. If you have Netflix check out the documentary 'Fed Up' about how much our sugar intake has increased in the US.

    It's like a runaway train. When I eat a lot of processed sugar, I crave it. I can kill a box of Girl Scout cookies or keep reaching into a bag of oreos. But after eating clean for a several days the cravings subside. I don't even miss it. But if I go back and have too much sugar at once the cravings all come rushing back.

    Take the good advice written above. Take it slow, log your eating, consider each good day a victory and consider any setback as temporary.
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 28,052 Member
    When I do the following, I don't have cravings:

    1. Get sufficient sleep.
    2. Exercise regularly - when I get the happy hormones from exercise, I'm not prone to seeking them from food.
    3. Get sufficient protein in relationship to carbs. I'm not low carb, but reducing carbs and upping protein worked for cravings for me. See also http://www.nutrition.org.uk/healthyliving/fuller/understanding-satiety-feeling-full-after-a-meal.html
    4. Eat moderate amounts of fruit. This makes me less interested in higher calorie sweets.
    5. Take a magnesium supplement. This can be especially helpful for women premenstrually.
    6. Save foods like chocolate for after dinner, in small amounts.

    Best wishes!
  • Ohjeezitskim
    Ohjeezitskim Posts: 129 Member
    I had it bad in the beginning with sweet cravings. I stayed determined though and managed to not keep bad sweet things in the house (I'll have fruit, granola bars, yogurts, and on OCCASION weight watchers ice creams I share with my mom only 120 calories but super small!) Limiting what you have access too helps a lot. When I'm in the store, I make sure I'm not hungry and keep away from the sweet things, don't even make eye contact!

    You can do it, don't give up! Giving up leads to failing, not faltering!
  • azulvioleta6
    azulvioleta6 Posts: 4,195 Member
    If you are not pre-planning, pre-tracking and doing food preparation ahead of time, you are planning to fail.

    Don't leave so much up to chance.
  • SeptemberFeyre
    SeptemberFeyre Posts: 178 Member
    kshama2001 wrote: »
    When I do the following, I don't have cravings:

    1. Get sufficient sleep.
    2. Exercise regularly - when I get the happy hormones from exercise, I'm not prone to seeking them from food.
    3. Get sufficient protein in relationship to carbs. I'm not low carb, but reducing carbs and upping protein worked for cravings for me. See also http://www.nutrition.org.uk/healthyliving/fuller/understanding-satiety-feeling-full-after-a-meal.html
    4. Eat moderate amounts of fruit. This makes me less interested in higher calorie sweets.
    5. Take a magnesium supplement. This can be especially helpful for women premenstrually.
    6. Save foods like chocolate for after dinner, in small amounts.

    Best wishes!

    This^^^ I'm right there with you on the sweet stuff cravings. I think this is really good advice.
  • bellabonbons
    bellabonbons Posts: 705 Member
    There could be deep rooted psychological issues. Self loathing. Feeling undeserving. Your inability to remain consistent despite your resolve to do so. Rather than continually be faced with what appears to be a vicious cycle, seeing a therapist may benefit you tremendously. I have an eating disorders therapist in my family. It certainly sounds from what you are describing are some very real underlying issues that require the skill of an educated and degreed therapist. Many of the weight issues that women face stems from childhood or adolescents. An overbearing mother or a traumatic event such as physical, verbal or sexual abuse.
  • laurenm0304
    laurenm0304 Posts: 10 Member
    Please stop thinking of sweets as forbidden food - this is half the problem. You CAN have sweets, chocolate, etc. You can have anything you want - just make it fit into your calories! Pre weigh sweets and put them into little sandwich bags with the calories written on the front. Eat the bag, enjoy it, savour it and then move on. You've had your sweets, you've finished the bag, you've satisfied your craving.
  • MiikeCholas
    MiikeCholas Posts: 70 Member
    Not everyone is a robot for discipline when it comes to sweets...i mean who can resist some cake and ice cream! The beautiful thing you don't have to take a little bite then have a piece of fruit to satistify the hunger or sweet tooth you have or just have the fruit first so that cake isn't on your mind at all. Also there is plenty of "healthy" snacks that taste really good out there! but ill leave it with this quote "what the mind believes the body achieves" is a second of satisfaction worth a lifetime of regret ?
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
    You got to want it bad enough.
  • LivingtheLeanDream
    LivingtheLeanDream Posts: 13,342 Member
    Please don't say that about yourself! what you lack is will power but that can be worked on, bit by bit you can replace old bad habits with better ones.
    If you want to lose badly enough then you'll do what you have to.
  • cbihatt
    cbihatt Posts: 319 Member
    You need to find a way to stop equating your self worth with your eating habits. Overeating or going off track does not make you a loser. I am sure there is more to you than that!

    Everyone has given you good advice here. The things that work most for me are:

    1. Logging everything, even the bad days
    2. Drinking hot tea sweetened with Splenda to satisfy my sweet cravings and fill my belly
    3. Not forbidding any particular foods
    4. Limiting my consumption of sweets to one serving when I eat them
    5. Getting right back on track after a slip up...don't wallow!

    You can do this.
  • Elizabloob
    Elizabloob Posts: 16 Member
    I have the same troubles! I try to log my sweet treats at the biginning of the day so i can calculate a fair amount (not too much) and then eat a little throughout the day to satisfy my cravings. I also do light exercise, I try to walk as much as I can so I will have more caleries free for snacks. I hopes this helps you!
  • monicaw44
    monicaw44 Posts: 71 Member
    the longer you don't eat sweets, the less you want them.
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