Just needing to talk!

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cgayle0221
cgayle0221 Posts: 6 Member
in Chit-Chat
I lost my mother in February and today has been a very bad day for me I have tryed everything to keep myself busy and not thinking about everything but it is not working today. I feel lost and heart broken

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  • _incogNEATo_
    _incogNEATo_ Posts: 4,537 Member
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    Sorry for your loss. I'm lucky enough to still have both of my parents and can't imagine losing one of them. I hope your day gets better.
  • synchkat
    synchkat Posts: 37,368 Member
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    So sorry you lost your mom. My dad is sick and I keep thinking about what it must me like to lose a parent. My mom always tells me grief comes in waves and eventually the waves get farther and farther apart. I'm sure you'll have good and bad days for awhile. :(
  • cgayle0221
    cgayle0221 Posts: 6 Member
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    Thank you synchkat.. We had found out 7 months ago that she had colon cancer that was stage 4 and she went through chemo and for a little bit we thought she was getting better and then all of the sudden everything changed and I got to her house on a Tuesday and that Sunday she passed away and I keep replying it in my head everyday.
  • synchkat
    synchkat Posts: 37,368 Member
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    Awww that was quick. It's easy to say stuff like it was her time and she's at least out of pain but doesn't make the hole left any smaller eh. Cancer sucks is all I can say, that's what my dad is fighting.

    Maybe write down memories and fun stories so days when you sad you can read them and remember? I assume part of our grief is the worry we might forget our passed loved ones. If you write down stories then they'll always be near I guess
  • dianeh47
    dianeh47 Posts: 16 Member
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    Losing a parent, child, or loved will have you feeling heart broken, lost, and sometimes angry. There is no magic potion to take away the blues, there is no one set thing to help. There is only time.... take one day at a time. I lost my best friends, my dad 14 years ago and my brother in Sept. There's not a day that goes by that I don't wish I could laugh and talk to them again, if only for a minute. Everyone deals with loss differently. I choose to let my feelings and emotions run free. If I'm having a bad day, I sometimes try to work on a craft project, read, or go online and play one of the two games I enjoy playing. If the memories come to the surface, I let them and if the eyes fill up with tears, I let them flow. I never stop my emotions or try to contain them. There is no set time period if or when you will not have a bad day. A good day is great, a bad day, I go with the flow. If you need something to do on a bad day, write your mom a letter and tell her about your day, put them away and then on a given day where you don't feel like writing, go back and read some of your past letters to her. Remember, you will never forget the love you shared, the memories, good, bad, or indifferent, you just learn to deal with the loss.
  • tinaka2016
    tinaka2016 Posts: 159 Member
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    Hi, I hope you are ok. I lost my father 9 years ago to cancer. I know how difficult this time is for you - it will get better. But only when you are ready. I believe the pain never truly go's you just learn how to cope with it and your happy memories will out weigh your feelings of loss.
  • tcarp8
    tcarp8 Posts: 369 Member
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    Both of my folks died of cancer about 7 years apart. My siblings and I took turns staying with them so they could remain at home and receive hospice care. Hospice nurses are the greatest. It was still difficult but I think it was easier on my folks to be able to remain at home. I was with each of my parents when they drew their last breath. I'm glad I was able to be with them at the end.
  • davidharken637
    davidharken637 Posts: 78 Member
    edited April 2016
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    Lost my niece she was on her bike and someone hit her while she was texting . She had her whole life ahead of her and when I heard how she died I just pissed me off , the sadness went to anger.
  • jackie_van_d
    jackie_van_d Posts: 240 Member
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    Just sent you a message
  • StephanieJane2
    StephanieJane2 Posts: 191 Member
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    Hope you are feeling better today x
  • shadowfax_c11
    shadowfax_c11 Posts: 1,942 Member
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    I lost my husband in 1999 and there are still days when I really miss him. I dream about him fairly often. It took me 10 years to start to pull myself back together.

    It is okay to feel how you feel. There is no time limit on grief. Try to think about the good things before she got sick. The special moments and the things about her personality that you loved. And don't be afraid to talk about those things and about her. Talking really does help. Especially if you have good listeners to talk to. :)
  • Valrotha
    Valrotha Posts: 294 Member
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    I'm really sorry for your loss, and I wish you the best.

    My parents are getting older, and they've had the 'when we pass away we've left you such and such' conversation with them. It really brings it home, and I'm certainly not looking forward to that day.

    Feel free to add me as a friend if you like. Just remember, you're not alone.
  • jackie_van_d
    jackie_van_d Posts: 240 Member
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    If I could I would hug you all
    I've lost both my parents 12+ years ago and time doesn't make it easier, one just learns how to cope
    Hugs
  • kdtesoriero
    kdtesoriero Posts: 141 Member
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    I have no other words then I am so sorry.
  • dianeh47
    dianeh47 Posts: 16 Member
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    I hope today is a good day for you. Stay strong.

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