That moment when the surgeon asks "Have you considered a surgery?"

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3nails1love
3nails1love Posts: 51 Member
in Introduce Yourself
Hello. :)

So yeah, that actually happened. I went in because I thought I had a hernia (it was just my abs were torn and separated probably from my last pregnancy), and the surgeon said he was more concerned about my obesity. He asks if I've ever considered a surgery and I thought "am I really that big that I need to think about that?" Here I finally got past the wishing I looked like I did 9 years ago (before I quit smoking) and was comfortable with my size, and the surgeon says he's concerned. He proceeded to spend around 30 minutes lecturing me on how I couldn't lose weight on my own, that I would always gain more than I lose and as long as I have tried to lose weight for 2 years and not succeeded and my BMI was over 35 (it was 40), I would qualify for my insurance to cover it.

3 blows after each other.
1. He called me obese.
2. He said I couldn't lose weight on my own.
3. I'm bad enough my insurance would cover it.

WOW. I left in shock, hurt, and a bit hopeless. I immediately told my husband and 2 close friends what he said in a group chat (they were praying for me because I was quite nervous about a hernia surgery). They immediately encouraged me that he was wrong (at least in the area of can't do it on my own and a surgery is the only way to go).

So I turned again to Myfitnesspal (I was using it 2 years before with some success except I felt like I was starving all the time). Encouraged again at every pound/kilo I shed, and less hungry this time round since I've added more fitness to my day with my Polar A360 to motivate me and help me keep track of calories burned, I've dropped about 19 lbs /8.6 kilos in 7 weeks. My favourite workout right now is the 10 minute solutions dance mix I found on youtube. I can do a few together or 1 a couple times a day. They are fun hip hop dances and my teen/pre teen daughters love to join in too (but for different reasons :D ).

I know that when I get to my goal I won't be able to just stop my diet unless I want to just yoyo up again, I'll need to spend time maintaining my weight.

Oh yeah, and I feel good now. I'm also encouraging other friends who are trying to shed weight (not lose weight because we don't want to find it again). It definitely helps having support.

3nails1love

Replies

  • samwiserabbit
    samwiserabbit Posts: 153 Member
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    A surgeon suggests surgery? Shocker. :) Awesome that the people close to you are so supportive. Welcome back. <3
  • tiggerlove
    tiggerlove Posts: 225 Member
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    His bedside manners need to be checked. Seems to me he just wanted to get paid. I'm glad you where able to take control and do it on your own, its not easy but it can be done. Need to see that doctor again and say see I did it on my own..congrats on your weight loss and keep up the great work.
  • Nicklebee93
    Nicklebee93 Posts: 316 Member
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    Wow what a rude Doctor! I don't know many doctors that would actually tell someone to go through surgery for weight loss. It's very risky and they actually make people lose weight before they even think to allow them to go under. And why couldn't you lose weight on your own? Unless there is a medical reasoning you can ALWAYS lose weight by yourself!
  • Yagisama
    Yagisama Posts: 592 Member
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    samwiserabbit wrote: »
    A surgeon suggests surgery? Shocker. :) Awesome that the people close to you are so supportive. Welcome back. <3

    The first five words says it all.

    And your husband and close friends are 100% correct. Unless there is an immediate life threatening situation, surgery is not the way.

    Back when I was planning to go to medical school, I observed many surgeries in operating rooms. Most of these were elective liposuction, bread augmentation, etc. One thing in common was the absolute disdain the medical staff (doctors, nurses, PAs) had for the patients.

    I heard many times "I would never have this surgery" while they were mocking the patient. One doctor even bragged about how one patient was a revolving one and would come back to him every year or so after she gained weight.

    Good business/money for them. So don't be surprised when a surgeon recommends surgery. And worse says that you can't do it by yourself.
  • ejb499
    ejb499 Posts: 53 Member
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    I'm sure it hurt and was a shock but it could also be the motivation you needed! When you drop the weight on your own you might thank him. Best of luck to you!
  • jessicarobinson00
    jessicarobinson00 Posts: 414 Member
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    Definitely cringe worthy, but YOU can DO THIS!! Not because some stranger told you that you can't, but because you are a capable determined individual and your family, your body, your future is so much brighter when you take care of you. I am sorry you went through such a humiliating experience, but it sounds like you found your fire, girl!! Keep going!! Congrats on your 19 lb weight loss!!
  • ashleyjongepier
    ashleyjongepier Posts: 130 Member
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    I was 13 when my primary doctor suggested to me that I get the lap band. I was also in a check out when I was 22 ( 360+ lbs) when a surgeon came up to me and gave me his card and let me know that without weight loss surgery I likely would never have kids or ever be healthy. ( I went on to have my daughter when I hit around 290lbs, will have more babies too :) )

    I've gotten down to 210 is from counting calories and working out. My goal is now to lose fat and create a lifestyle I can always keep up with, while ending up in a healthy weight range.

    You should give fitnessblender a look on youtube, their all I use since we don't have a gym here.

    All I can say is screw that surgeon and prove him wrong! You have so got this!
  • SueSueDio
    SueSueDio Posts: 4,796 Member
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    I'm so sorry that you had such an experience - if it helps, "obese" is merely the medical term for what many of us are, and not a personal insult. But that doesn't mean we like hearing it!

    3nails1love wrote: »
    I know that when I get to my goal I won't be able to just stop my diet unless I want to just yoyo up again, I'll need to spend time maintaining my weight.

    Unfortunately, you'll need to spend the rest of your life maintaining your new weight - but you can learn the skills needed to do so, and like everyone above has said you have SO got this!

    Try not to think of it as "a diet", since that implies something that has an end date. Think of it as "a healthy lifestyle" that you can stick with forever. You will be able to eat more once you reach your goal weight, but you'll need to find out what your maintenance calories are and how to control your portions to remain around that level. Your journey to your goal can teach you everything you'll need to know, and there's a ton of helpful advice on these boards too. :)

    You've made a great start - best of luck with the rest of your journey! And when you're slender, you can go back to that surgeon and tell him where to stick his "advice"...! ;)

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