Friend trying to lose weight the WRONG way

Seajolly
Seajolly Posts: 1,435 Member
edited September 29 in Motivation and Support
One of my best friends is trying to lose weight, but she's going about it completely the WRONG way... She's barely eating anything! She doesn't drink much water also and keeps getting bad headaches nearly daily. She's been to a doctor about them and he couldn't find anything wrong, but I asked her if she's been drinking water and she says not a lot, and some days she won't have any water, just diet soda and coffee. I am concerned about her, as she looks like she's gaining weight and I know that makes her upset, because she wants to lose more than anything! She is always telling me she wants to lose weight, that she is soo fat, etc.

Today we went on a 2 hour hike that burned around 1000 calories and she told us 1/2 way through the hike that she didn't have anything to eat today! Our other friend made her eat 1/2 of her granola bar because we were worried about her fainting...

I just don't know what to do! I try to motivate her to workout. That usually works. We'll go for walks and hikes together a few times a week. But as far as eating, I just can't seem to convince her to. She just doesn't understand that your body needs food to lose weight! What can I do to help inspire and motivate her without upsetting her and making her resent me? Should I just back off and let her figure it out for herself? :ohwell:

Replies

  • leomom72
    leomom72 Posts: 1,797 Member
    tell her to join us HERE..maybe with more people, she will see that she needs to eat..
  • natskedat
    natskedat Posts: 570 Member
    I wrote a blog post a couple of months ago that might convince her. She's welcome to contact me if she likes.

    Here's the link: http://fitnesswithnatalie.blogspot.com/2011/05/most-dreaded-word-in-weight-loss.html
  • Naomi91
    Naomi91 Posts: 892 Member
    I think that most people go through the crash dieting phase. I did. SO did probably most women you have ever talked to lol

    Just try to explain to her what she is doing, show her this site and some success stories, and hope she will listen.
  • Seajolly
    Seajolly Posts: 1,435 Member
    tell her to join us HERE..maybe with more people, she will see that she needs to eat..

    I did... She logged food 2 days, then gave up. She says it's too hard to log what she eats since her mom makes her big Venezuelan dinners and she doesn't know how many calories they have. :ohwell: I didn't want to argue with her... I really wish she'd really use the app and the website though! It would be great for her!
  • Seajolly
    Seajolly Posts: 1,435 Member
    I think that most people go through the crash dieting phase. I did. SO did probably most women you have ever talked to lol

    Just try to explain to her what she is doing, show her this site and some success stories, and hope she will listen.

    True... Most women do! I did at one point. But we are 25 now, and she's had weight issues since middle school. You'd think she'd realize what she's been doing all this time hasn't worked for her, so she should take a little of my advice! It's frustrating, to say the least.
  • baconsteak
    baconsteak Posts: 7
    Buy her this book: Master Your Metabolism: The 3 Diet Secrets to Naturally Balancing Your Hormones for a Hot and Healthy Body! by: Jillian Michaels

    Make her read it and she'll understand how she is destroying her metabolism and setting herself up for a lifetime of "diets" and eating disorders. Some times scaring people can wake them up.

    Good luck with your friend!
  • TTHdred
    TTHdred Posts: 380 Member
    It may just take her some time to come around and your support will become even more necessary then. I have a similar friend. One day I actually counted her calories for her to show her she 500 calories for the day, not counting that she worked out that morning. But she is like me, we are stubborn. I am just waiting for her to “see the light” for lack of a better term. Then I will be there to help just like mfp was here for me when I finally decided to take things serious.
  • Bellyroll
    Bellyroll Posts: 316
    Sounds like she is having trouble with Ana. LIke it depends how bad here ana is because if its pretty bad no matter what you do you cant talk her out of it. But if she just started then ya tell her to join myfitnesspal.
  • koosdel
    koosdel Posts: 3,317 Member
    Just keep setting a good example, and be available for when she needs you.
  • Kimmer2011
    Kimmer2011 Posts: 569 Member
    That's a great blog post!
  • Seajolly
    Seajolly Posts: 1,435 Member
    Sounds like she is having trouble with Ana. LIke it depends how bad here ana is because if its pretty bad no matter what you do you cant talk her out of it. But if she just started then ya tell her to join myfitnesspal.

    I would not say she has anorexia. Her problem is that she won't eat all day, then binge and eat all of her calories (plus some) at night, eating the wrong things, especially chocolate, lots of white rice, etc. She says she's "not hungry" during the day, therefore she won't eat. But then the hunger always catches up to her at night and she binges. She doesn't seem to understand that if she ate small things all throughout the day, she probably wouldn't binge at night and she'd probably consume LESS calories over all.
  • shamandalie
    shamandalie Posts: 21
    At 25 can she not cook her own food and take responsibility for herself?

    I suppose with an attitude like that there's not much anyone can do to help her unfortunately!
  • Seajolly
    Seajolly Posts: 1,435 Member
    At 25 can she not cook her own food and take responsibility for herself?

    I suppose with an attitude like that there's not much anyone can do to help her unfortunately!

    Very good point.
  • leomom72
    leomom72 Posts: 1,797 Member
    tell her to join us HERE..maybe with more people, she will see that she needs to eat..

    I did... She logged food 2 days, then gave up. She says it's too hard to log what she eats since her mom makes her big Venezuelan dinners and she doesn't know how many calories they have. :ohwell: I didn't want to argue with her... I really wish she'd really use the app and the website though! It would be great for her!
    maybe she is REALLY not ready yet..like they say the same thing for smokers..some people just cant quit because they really arent ready..i dont have anymore advice for you, love, i guess she will stick to it when she REALLY wants to do something for herself..best of luck to you both
  • Seajolly
    Seajolly Posts: 1,435 Member
    ^ Thank you. :flowerforyou: I think, like some people have said, letting her figure it out for herself is the wisest thing. You're right. She doesn't seem ready.
  • Bellyroll
    Bellyroll Posts: 316
    Ana and Mia if she is that bad as I think she is I would suggest that she get pro Help.
  • Rhondast
    Rhondast Posts: 93
    I saw your post.I guess I shouldn't answer, cause I have a past ana history, and I really think that my use of hcg so easily is part of that, cause the diet of low cals is so easy for me, and eating 1000 cals a day is outlandish,especially when dieting...but here's an idea on how to approach that, though, really, it's tough. For one, have her join us HERE. (when I'm consumed with counting calories, I gain weight by the tons). I wrote something, until I read up a bit and found her age, which is 25...I'll message you.
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