Food bullies?

heart3313
heart3313 Posts: 89 Member
in Motivation and Support
I'm not sure if this is fat shaming because it's not just people who are over weight or trying to lose weight that probably have noticed this.

At work. Or somewhere public where another person sees what you are eating, and they take it upon themselves to comment!

I just want to enjoy my food!

No I'm not a rabbit.
Yes, this is my lunch
No, I do not want any of your food. I'm full

Why do people feel compelled to comment on my food?

I understand if they are asking for info on their diet, but most of the time it just feels rude...

Anyone else deal with those food bullies?
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Replies

  • cathipa
    cathipa Posts: 2,991 Member
    All the time. The funny thing is the ones I deal with are always on a "diet" or Medifast/Nutrisystem/etc. and haven't lost a pound. I guess the foot long Philly cheesesteak isn't on their diet plan. But I don't openly criticize their foods to them. I just sit back. Just stick to your goals and ignore the bullies :smiley:
  • Packerjohn
    Packerjohn Posts: 4,855 Member
    Have in the past, people trying to push their doughnuts, pasties, candy, cookies, etc on you at work. Where I'm at now people don't often bring things. Before, just said not thanks.
  • fuselighter
    fuselighter Posts: 40 Member
    I had someone sitting next to me in class last week pick up my 100 calorie container of Activia yogurt and ask "How much sugar in this? 15 grams, that's a lot!" The person lost a lot of weight on a low carb diet, but I am not on a low carb diet. It felt awfully judgmental.
  • paulajobelle
    paulajobelle Posts: 23 Member
    Everyone seems to have an opinion on weight loss and fitness nowadays. I try to be polite and say "great that that works for you" and then carry on doing what is working for me. I find that most people think that my wanting to eat healthy and exercise is tied to appearance and I can usually shut those up by saying that I am investing in my future so I can see my little one grow up and along the way she also hopefully will develop a healthy lifestyle.
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  • cathipa
    cathipa Posts: 2,991 Member
    fuselighter wrote: »
    I had someone sitting next to me in class last week pick up my 100 calorie container of Activia yogurt and ask "How much sugar in this? 15 grams, that's a lot!" The person lost a lot of weight on a low carb diet, but I am not on a low carb diet. It felt awfully judgmental.

    I would have then said sugar doesn't make you fat, excess calories do. What would they have said then??

  • Big_YEET
    Big_YEET Posts: 152 Member
    edited April 2016
    I really don't get why people feel the need to be so immature and judgmental over *kitten* that doesn't concern them at all. No matter what I do, I get some sort of comment. I'm eating a salad? I'm a health nut, I'm vain, I need to eat real food. I'm eating pizza or a burger? There's no way I can REALLY eat that, I'm going to gain it all back, blah blah blah. Can't win. But I focus on myself and tune it out.
  • Steff46
    Steff46 Posts: 516 Member
    I used to get that a lot when I ate lunch with or around a group at work. Now I just eat at my desk. I never comment on anyone's food choices (most of the time I'm not even paying attention) and I can't understand why my choices are debatable.....
  • giantrobot_powerlifting
    giantrobot_powerlifting Posts: 2,598 Member
    edited April 2016
    I hear often "I need to healthy like you" the assumption being I only eat seafood and brofood.

    Their poor misguided hearts would break if they only know how much pizza and kringle (bakery) I eat per week and while presently cutting.
  • King_Spicy
    King_Spicy Posts: 821 Member
    I like to look for intentional insults, but noone ever comments anything bad towards my diet. I can eat canned tuna straight from can and the worst I get is, "watch that mercury poisoning." I'll add mayo on top of it around people that don't like mayo and then stare at them in the eyes while I eat it with my mouth open. I'll post pictures of delicious taro bubble tea, pizza, or korean bbq where people can't eat it. They usually just compliment it.
  • quiksylver296
    quiksylver296 Posts: 28,439 Member
    Char231023 wrote: »
    fuselighter wrote: »
    I had someone sitting next to me in class last week pick up my 100 calorie container of Activia yogurt and ask "How much sugar in this? 15 grams, that's a lot!" The person lost a lot of weight on a low carb diet, but I am not on a low carb diet. It felt awfully judgmental.

    I had someone do that with my quest bar. He was like omg 21g of carbs. I told him that it had 20g of protein and he told me, he only pays attention to the amount of carbs. The very next day a saw him drinking a 20oz bottle of coke. Not that I have a problem with coke, but I guess the carbs in the coke don't count.

    :D
  • TR0berts
    TR0berts Posts: 7,739 Member
    Char231023 wrote: »
    fuselighter wrote: »
    I had someone sitting next to me in class last week pick up my 100 calorie container of Activia yogurt and ask "How much sugar in this? 15 grams, that's a lot!" The person lost a lot of weight on a low carb diet, but I am not on a low carb diet. It felt awfully judgmental.

    I had someone do that with my quest bar. He was like omg 21g of carbs. I told him that it had 20g of protein and he told me, he only pays attention to the amount of carbs. The very next day a saw him drinking a 20oz bottle of coke. Not that I have a problem with coke, but I guess the carbs in the coke don't count.


    If there were rum in said bottle of coke, that would be accurate.
  • amusedmonkey
    amusedmonkey Posts: 10,330 Member
    They're trying to be "cute" and think it's humorous to make silly remarks. Don't pay attention. When your lunch is unlike anyone else's or when people notice your lunch has changed they get curious. People are curious by nature and some have defective word filters so they blurt the first thought that comes to mind. In other cases people are trying to be nice and generous, or "helpful".

    In most cases it's not ill willed. Just don't mind them and don't let it affect you. People will always be people.
  • giantrobot_powerlifting
    giantrobot_powerlifting Posts: 2,598 Member
    Char231023 wrote: »
    fuselighter wrote: »
    I had someone sitting next to me in class last week pick up my 100 calorie container of Activia yogurt and ask "How much sugar in this? 15 grams, that's a lot!" The person lost a lot of weight on a low carb diet, but I am not on a low carb diet. It felt awfully judgmental.

    I had someone do that with my quest bar. He was like omg 21g of carbs. I told him that it had 20g of protein and he told me, he only pays attention to the amount of carbs. The very next day a saw him drinking a 20oz bottle of coke. Not that I have a problem with coke, but I guess the carbs in the coke don't count.
    That's like me but for protein. Gimme all the fat and carbs and coke too.
  • dawnmcneil10
    dawnmcneil10 Posts: 638 Member
    I giggle at these people, healthy living doesn't mean giving up cake or doritos or pizza and so on it just means you find your own personal balance. I know I couldn't personally live of broiled salmon cooked with no oils, steamed brown rice and salad with just a squeeze of lemon but for those than can and enjoy it I say have at it.
  • WickedPineapple
    WickedPineapple Posts: 698 Member
    edited April 2016
    I don't get too many comments these days, just an occasional observation from a co-worker or check out person at the grocery store that I eat healthy. It's generally not derisive, just a "good-for-you" type comment. (People tend to not randomly talk to me because of the death stare. So I don't usually get inappropriate comments from strangers.)

    However, one instance sticks out in my memory. I went out to lunch with some co-workers. I ordered a salad and one of my co-workers like, grilled me about it. Immediately after ordering, he starts with, "Are you on a diet?" I think he asked a few more questions, but don't remember. It was odd because the way he said it was argumentative. I also found the question a little invasive since our working relationship had been strictly professional. I just said I typically don't eat lunch, so wasn't very hungry. It was true, but I was also being diplomatic.

    I also have an ex who tried to goad me into eating "healthier" because he was "concerned". Hence the "ex". :)

    If someone repeatedly bugged me about what I eat, they'd get the death stare plus "I fail to see how my diet is any of your business" or something more sarcastic.
  • Rnsmith1982
    Rnsmith1982 Posts: 24 Member
    My boyfriend gets mad at me because when we go out to eat and I don't eat seconds. He knows that I'm trying to lose weight and then goes and buys food that I really crave and try to avoid. I, however, put whatever I can't eat that is leftover on HIS plate and make him eat it. Well, I don't make him eat it but if he wants to eat extra I might as well give it to him.
  • heart3313
    heart3313 Posts: 89 Member
    Rnsmith1982 wrote: »
    My boyfriend gets mad at me because when we go out to eat and I don't eat seconds. He knows that I'm trying to lose weight and then goes and buys food that I really crave and try to avoid. I, however, put whatever I can't eat that is leftover on HIS plate and make him eat it. Well, I don't make him eat it but if he wants to eat extra I might as well give it to him.

    I always say my husband is my garbage disposal lol! Any food I don't want off my plate he takes
  • jlcnuke
    jlcnuke Posts: 31 Member
    Just be glad you don't work where I work, we give everyone *kitten* for all kinds of stuff, and food choices are no exception. Of course we think of it as "friendly banter" not "bullying".
  • heart3313
    heart3313 Posts: 89 Member
    jlcnuke wrote: »
    Just be glad you don't work where I work, we give everyone *kitten* for all kinds of stuff, and food choices are no exception. Of course we think of it as "friendly banter" not "bullying".

    Haha...nice
  • RoseTheWarrior
    RoseTheWarrior Posts: 2,035 Member
    Yeah, I just eat at my desk. I don't need anyone's judgement on my lunch, thanks. It's bad enough at "happy hour", where I just have water when everyone else has plates of chips and cookies and popcorn and beer, etc. Every damn person has to comment on my not having junk food, like I'm some freak because I have the ability to say no thanks. I seriously hate it. I don't give a crap what you are all eating or not eating because it doesn't affect me. What I eat or don't eat doesn't affect anyone but me. Stop talking about it.
  • celadontea
    celadontea Posts: 335 Member
    I got a lot of judgement about my food choices when I worked in an office. I feel like it was just people trying to have something, anything to talk about. I couldn't stand being asked about my lunch every single day. I'm introverted and found it a poor way to open up communication. When I was dieting it would be "that's all your eating?" "wow, I wish I could eat like that." and when I was eating something else it would always be "where did you get that?" "did you make that?" "I wouldn't eat that"... yawn.
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  • Shawshankcan
    Shawshankcan Posts: 900 Member
    I like my steak still moving. I will bring it to work like this sometimes and I would get asked
    How can you eat that? Simple, one bite at a time
    That looks gross. Perfect, you're not eating it.
  • ACSL3
    ACSL3 Posts: 623 Member
    I don't have too much of an issue. Where I work most people eat from the cafeteria and I bring my lunch and eat in the cafeteria with them. So they do sometimes ask me what I'm eating or make comments, but they're good comments - "that looks good" kind of stuff.

    I do have one friend who is also working on losing weight and struggling. Every time she eats something that she considers "bad" she tries to push one on me. i.e. if she's eating a cookie she tries to push one on me. Sometimes I eat it (if I know it'll fit in my calories) and sometimes I just say "no thank you, I'm not hungry right now." Or I take it, don't eat it, and give it to a co-worker instead (someone who wants it, I try not to push food since I don't like it when people do it to me). I think it's just because we both know that the other is trying to lose weight so she feels guilty about eating that food and feels better if I eat it too - like it's justified or something. I keep trying to get her to come to MFP.
  • Meganthedogmom
    Meganthedogmom Posts: 1,639 Member
    This happens to me so often, you'd think I would be used to it by now. It's been happening all my life and it really bothers me and makes me self-conscious.

    I have a bottle of water at my desk constantly, since I drink several bottles throughout the day. Occasionally there will be some other type of drink. I've never gotten a comment on the water that's on my desk literally 100% of the time, but the second I have anything else, I am either wrong for having a diet drink, or I am told that regular drink is bad for me and I should just drink water. OH, YOU MEAN LIKE I DO THE OTHER 99% OF THE TIME? OKAY GREAT, THANKS!

    The only time I eat in front of people at work is for my morning snack at my desk, which may be a yogurt with nuts, maybe some carrots, maybe some chips, who knows? But it never fails, someone has something to say about it! "EWWW CARROTS?? Gross!" Or "chips aren't healthy!!! That's what made me fat!!"

    I literally just want to stab people all the time now.
  • heart3313
    heart3313 Posts: 89 Member
    Shawshankcan wrote: »
    I like my steak still moving. I will bring it to work like this sometimes and I would get asked
    How can you eat that? Simple, one bite at a time
    That looks gross. Perfect, you're not eating it.

    Lol!

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