What is the rush?

evildeadedd · April 2016

I notice there are a TON of posts today about people eating insanely low calories trying to lose weight super fast. I know we live in a microwave society, shows like the biggest loser and diet adds have conditioned us to think we should be losing weight in weeks not months, but there is a reason for them to perpetuate this myth. The diet industry survives off people doing crash diets. They want you to fail, if you were truly successful (I.e. got you your goal weight and stayed there) they would stop making money. Jillian Michaels doesn't want you to be healthy, she wants you to be a slave to her system. They all want you to over restrict, get to goal, then gain it all back plus. Crack dealers don't try to get people off crack, and diet companies want us fat.
I know we all want our goals right now, we think that we can't be happy until "X" happens. The truth is getting to a goal, ANY goal is just the beginning. A doctor doesn't go to school for over 24 years, then sit back and say "well I got it, I'm a doctor now, time to move to Tahiti and nap on the beach". Getting the degree is just a new beginning. The same is true for weight loss, getting to that "goal" weight is just the end of one chapter in your book. The things you learn in chapter one: weight-loss, should support and carry over to chapter two: maintenance. If all you learned in chapter one was starving yourself and being miserable, chapter two is going to be a *kitten* chapter.
I know how you feel, for the past ten years I have lost 30 pounds and gained back 35 over and over. I have constantly over restricted myself, went to the gym 7 days a week, lost 3 to 5 pounds a week for a couple months, then burned out. Trust me when I say you will burnout.
Crash diets don't work. Saying oh I am only doing this to get to my goal , THEN I plan on eating better and maintaining the loss, doesn't work for 9 out of 10 people. You have to learn to crawl before you can run. You don't see too many babies running a marathon, then getting down on all 4s to perfect the art of crawling.
I know you want your sexy pants right now, I want mine too. But after many years please listen to a voice of experience. If I would have been reasonable and realistic with my goals from the start I could have spent the last 8 years at my goal weight instead of never being within a hundred pounds of it. Time sucks, no-one wants to think about being a year or more from their goals, but believe me the time passes anyway.
All the burnout sites I have done over the years did nothing but make me miserable and hate myself even more. A constant cycle of feeling like I am going 110% and then failing has broken my ability to think I can accomplish anything. Please for the benefit of your self and your sanity learn patience.
If you take anything away from my ramblings let it be this. January 2017 is going to get here no matter what you do. Are you going to be starting over with another crazy crash diet, or will you be focusing on being a better version of you then you were the day before?

Francl27 · April 2016

Beats me. When I started MFP it didn't even occur to me to pick the 'lose 2 pounds a week' setting!

dunkut · April 2016

Amen

itsbasschick · April 2016

seems like a lot of people want immediate gratification or they just don't realize that a lot of things require longer-term planning. it's not just weight loss - people want to build muscle in weeks, learn to play the guitar well in weeks, understand and learn photography in weeks. all sorts of things that are best accomplished by learning about your goal - not just buying a random camera or buying an instrument that may not meet the person's needs at all or replacing meals with shakes.

Christine_72 · April 2016

Probably because dieting sucks for a lot of people, and they want to get it over and done with as quickly as possible? ?

xynyth · April 2016

Preach! That's what finally changed for me this time. I'm no longer on a diet, I'm just eating at a deficit and trying to make incremental lifestyle changes that include moving more and portion control. Not only is it working, I don't hate it, and it's sustainable. I didn't gain 100lbs overnight, and to expect for it to come off that way is, as you said, the highway to burnoutville.

LazSommer · April 2016

Beach body bro.

endlessfall16 · April 2016

Maybe they are sick of their overweight life and can't wait to get out. Other people tolerate that part of their life better

My progress would make me look like I was in a rush but that wasn't what I intended. I started out not knowing just like anyone. It was just easy to lose 2+ lbs/week so why not. But these days I'm slowing down because I read it's healthier. No complaint since I can enjoy more foods. It's win win.

evildeadedd · April 2016

Christine_72 wrote: »

Probably because dieting sucks for a lot of people, and they want to get it over and done with as quickly as possible? ?[/quoting

If it really sucks that bad you are doing it wrong. That was kinda my while point with this rambling gibberish. I am eating the all the foods I love still, I am just not sitting down and eating a whole large meat lovers pizza and a two liter of mt dew twice a week. If you want to maintain a healthy weight you can't "diet" and "get it over with", all that is going to lead to is a cycle of gaining and losing that will last the rest of your life. Why not learn proper portions and how to live ? The idea of a "diet" is flawed , and exactly how the fitness industry wants you to think. I know first hand what it leads to, I have dealt with it since I was a teenager.
I'm not miserable, I don't hate anything about the process this time. I am seeing improvement is some way every day. Maybe the scale goes down, maybe it doesn't, but when I go into the gym I bump up the treadmill a little faster, or I lift heaver. If the only thing you focus in is pounds lost you don't appreciate every other milestone you are hitting. Maybe you walk to the end of your driveway today, and maybe to the end of the block by Friday. Those are HUGE accomplishments for some people. Every day you are getting better, stronger, faster than you were the day before. If you teach yourself to hate the process of improvement, you are only forcing yourself to learn to settle for mediocrity. Taking just one more step today than you did yesterday is something to be proud of. Don't hate the fact that you can't run a marathon, appreciate that you can run farther than you did last week.

kirayng2 · April 2016

I lost the first 50 fast and have had the hardest time losing the last 50, so slow and steady is just fine as long as it keeps coming off. I think your best point is how we learn how to live healthy forever rather than quick fixes, that is key.

endlessfall16 · April 2016

evildeadedd wrote: »

I'm not miserable, I don't hate anything about the process this time. I am seeing improvement is some way every day. Maybe the scale goes down, maybe it doesn't, but when I go into the gym I bump up the treadmill a little faster, or I lift heaver. If the only thing you focus in is pounds lost you don't appreciate every other milestone you are hitting. Maybe you walk to the end of your driveway today, and maybe to the end of the block by Friday. Those are HUGE accomplishments for some people. Every day you are getting better, stronger, faster than you were the day before. If you teach yourself to hate the process of improvement, you are only forcing yourself to learn to settle for mediocrity. Taking just one more step today than you did yesterday is something to be proud of. Don't hate the fact that you can't run a marathon, appreciate that you can run farther than you did last week.

Well said. Ironically loving the process too much also results in the exact thing you preach again.

shaybee377 · April 2016

You are so right! Thank you for this; it's exactly what I needed to hear today!

RoseTheWarrior · April 2016

Great post OP!

evildeadedd · April 2016

shaybee377 wrote: »

You are so right! Thank you for this; it's exactly what I needed to hear today!

I am glad it was helpful for you. It is nice to know my words did something good.

parfia · April 2016

I also don't understand the 'I want to be X weight for X event' - I wasn't aware that when you reached that holiday destination or that wedding or whatever event is coming up, that they get some scales out and you're not allowed in unless you've reached a specific weight!! - I understand wanting to look better, yes I totally get that, but why does it have to be a specific number of pounds ??

ThunderZtorm · April 2016

parfia wrote: »

I also don't understand the 'I want to be X weight for X event' - I wasn't aware that when you reached that holiday destination or that wedding or whatever event is coming up, that they get some scales out and you're not allowed in unless you've reached a specific weight!! - I understand wanting to look better, yes I totally get that, but why does it have to be a specific number of pounds ??

Goals are good. A good goal has a clearly defined target and a clearly defined timeframe for the target to be reached.

So in that sense, it's really a good thing to say "weight X by date Y"

random_123 · April 2016

I must be one of the 1 in 10 because I honestly prefer fast cuts. It's just a "get the job done" mentality and I'm not saying I'd recommend it as a general approach because you need to know you can do it based on actual past evidence rather than wishful thinking. Doing a lot of light cardio while muscle sparing with endless grass fed beef and heavy lifting isn't a fun time, but for me the goal exceeds the effort.

Meganthedogmom · April 2016

evildeadedd wrote: »

I notice there are a TON of posts today about people eating insanely low calories trying to lose weight super fast. I know we live in a microwave society, shows like the biggest loser and diet adds have conditioned us to think we should be losing weight in weeks not months, but there is a reason for them to perpetuate this myth. The diet industry survives off people doing crash diets. They want you to fail, if you were truly successful (I.e. got you your goal weight and stayed there) they would stop making money. Jillian Michaels doesn't want you to be healthy, she wants you to be a slave to her system. They all want you to over restrict, get to goal, then gain it all back plus. Crack dealers don't try to get people off crack, and diet companies want us fat.
I know we all want our goals right now, we think that we can't be happy until "X" happens. The truth is getting to a goal, ANY goal is just the beginning. A doctor doesn't go to school for over 24 years, then sit back and say "well I got it, I'm a doctor now, time to move to Tahiti and nap on the beach". Getting the degree is just a new beginning. The same is true for weight loss, getting to that "goal" weight is just the end of one chapter in your book. The things you learn in chapter one: weight-loss, should support and carry over to chapter two: maintenance. If all you learned in chapter one was starving yourself and being miserable, chapter two is going to be a *kitten* chapter.
I know how you feel, for the past ten years I have lost 30 pounds and gained back 35 over and over. I have constantly over restricted myself, went to the gym 7 days a week, lost 3 to 5 pounds a week for a couple months, then burned out. Trust me when I say you will burnout.
Crash diets don't work. Saying oh I am only doing this to get to my goal , THEN I plan on eating better and maintaining the loss, doesn't work for 9 out of 10 people. You have to learn to crawl before you can run. You don't see too many babies running a marathon, then getting down on all 4s to perfect the art of crawling.
I know you want your sexy pants right now, I want mine too. But after many years please listen to a voice of experience. If I would have been reasonable and realistic with my goals from the start I could have spent the last 8 years at my goal weight instead of never being within a hundred pounds of it. Time sucks, no-one wants to think about being a year or more from their goals, but believe me the time passes anyway.
All the burnout sites I have done over the years did nothing but make me miserable and hate myself even more. A constant cycle of feeling like I am going 110% and then failing has broken my ability to think I can accomplish anything. Please for the benefit of your self and your sanity learn patience.
If you take anything away from my ramblings let it be this. January 2017 is going to get here no matter what you do. Are you going to be starting over with another crazy crash diet, or will you be focusing on being a better version of you then you were the day before?

I love this post! Well said.

foxygirl14 · April 2016

Thanks for the encouragement. We are making lifestyle changes!:)

parfia · April 2016

ThunderZtorm wrote: »

parfia wrote: »

I also don't understand the 'I want to be X weight for X event' - I wasn't aware that when you reached that holiday destination or that wedding or whatever event is coming up, that they get some scales out and you're not allowed in unless you've reached a specific weight!! - I understand wanting to look better, yes I totally get that, but why does it have to be a specific number of pounds ??

Goals are good. A good goal has a clearly defined target and a clearly defined timeframe for the target to be reached.

So in that sense, it's really a good thing to say "weight X by date Y"

But if I want to lose 20lbs before I go on holiday and get to 18lbs lost - does that really matter?

I realise I am being pedantic here but that's just in my make up

!

scolaris · April 2016

Preach!

evildeadedd · April 2016

random_123 wrote: »

I must be one of the 1 in 10 because I honestly prefer fast cuts. It's just a "get the job done" mentality and I'm not saying I'd recommend it as a general approach because you need to know you can do it based on actual past evidence rather than wishful thinking. Doing a lot of light cardio while muscle sparing with endless grass fed beef and heavy lifting isn't a fun time, but for me the goal exceeds the effort.

I consider "cutting" weight a different beast, and not really what I am addressing here. If you are cutting more than likely you gained weight on purpose to gain mass. In my mind if you are cycling bulk/cut, you should already have a good handle on nutrition.
Although even in the case of cutting I would much rather do a clean slow bulk, then a one to two hundred deficit cut, than a dirty bulk then deep cut and lose 50% of the mass I gained.

LivingtheLeanDream · April 2016

hear hear

slow and steady is best

gramarye · April 2016

ThunderZtorm wrote: »

parfia wrote: »

I also don't understand the 'I want to be X weight for X event' - I wasn't aware that when you reached that holiday destination or that wedding or whatever event is coming up, that they get some scales out and you're not allowed in unless you've reached a specific weight!! - I understand wanting to look better, yes I totally get that, but why does it have to be a specific number of pounds ??

Goals are good. A good goal has a clearly defined target and a clearly defined timeframe for the target to be reached.

So in that sense, it's really a good thing to say "weight X by date Y"

Just to be completely contrary, "weight X by date Y" can also set people up for failure, either because they aren't giving themselves a realistic timeframe to lose in or because they get discouraged when life happens and that timeframe doesn't work perfectly. Or both.

(I actually 100% agree that goals with defined and actionable targets are the best ones; I just also fall in the latter camp and have in the past panicked myself into maintenance when my deficit wasn't perfect.)

random_123 · April 2016

evildeadedd wrote: »

random_123 wrote: »

I must be one of the 1 in 10 because I honestly prefer fast cuts. It's just a "get the job done" mentality and I'm not saying I'd recommend it as a general approach because you need to know you can do it based on actual past evidence rather than wishful thinking. Doing a lot of light cardio while muscle sparing with endless grass fed beef and heavy lifting isn't a fun time, but for me the goal exceeds the effort.

I consider "cutting" weight a different beast, and not really what I am addressing here. If you are cutting more than likely you gained weight on purpose to gain mass. In my mind if you are cycling bulk/cut, you should already have a good handle on nutrition.
Although even in the case of cutting I would much rather do a clean slow bulk, then a one to two hundred deficit cut, than a dirty bulk then deep cut and lose 50% of the mass I gained.

Okay you're right - I don't want to be a negative influence and I'm mixing up the debate. It's just that the prevailing opinion on the boards is that fast losses don't, even can't work, when I'd hazard to say it's the predominant method in a number of bb circles.

jprewitt1 · April 2016

endlessfall16 wrote: »

Maybe they are sick of their overweight life and can't wait to get out. Other people tolerate that part of their life better

My progress would make me look like I was in a rush but that wasn't what I intended. I started out not knowing just like anyone. It was just easy to lose 2+ lbs/week so why not. But these days I'm slowing down because I read it's healthier. No complaint since I can enjoy more foods. It's win win.

This is where I am right now. I'm so tired of being tired. I'm tired of looking in the mirror wondering why my wife is even with me and why I let myself get to this point. I know it's all in my head and it's just a cycle of negativity but that is where I am. The "slow and steady" mantra has worked for me for two years, but now I'm so ready to get myself to a healthy weight so I can hopefully get my mind in a better place for me to be happy.

msf74 · April 2016

I think part of what drives the desire for quick weight loss is psychological distress which no one particularly wants to live with for a long period of time.

I think many people live in a state of deliberate blindness to their weight and size because the reality is hard to deal with.

Then when the scales from their eyes and they are presented with what they have become they want to get away from it as quickly as possible.

It is a perfectly understandable reaction but leaves them wide open to be exploited or vulnerable to reckless approaches.

sllm1 · April 2016

I think I have finally learned that there's no rush. The rush causes us to have a mindset of, "I'm on this diet until I lose the weight I want to, and then I can go back to eating." Well, that doesn't work. Going back to eating the same way I used to always led me back to being overweight. Thus, the yo-yo.

I'm currently working out hard and eating 1700-1800 calories per day. I lose 3 to 4 pounds per month (sometimes less), but there's no rush. I have my diary set at 0.5 pounds per week but I try to have few calories left over. If not, I remind myself that I'm eating to fuel my workouts. When I get the "hurry up" thought in my head, I remind myself that I can truly eat this way forever so there's truly no hurry to "finish."

LBuehrle8 · April 2016

Starts the slow clap...

charleycartee · April 2016

parfia wrote: »

I also don't understand the 'I want to be X weight for X event' - I wasn't aware that when you reached that holiday destination or that wedding or whatever event is coming up, that they get some scales out and you're not allowed in unless you've reached a specific weight!! - I understand wanting to look better, yes I totally get that, but why does it have to be a specific number of pounds ??

The maximum weight limit for Philmont trek is in their health requirements: http://www.scouting.org/Philmont/Camping/WhoCanCome/HealthMedicalRequirements.aspx

My sons' scout troop runs it's own high adventure program on the Appalachian trail, and we use the Philmont health requirements as guidelines. In order to be able to go as an assistant scoutmaster, I've got well over 100 lbs to drop from where I started. I probably won't be able to do it this summer, but might be able to manage by next summer.

We may be putting together an actual Philmont crew in the next couple of years... if so those aren't guidelines, they're requirements.

So there are definitely situations where "you're not allowed in unless you've reached a specific weight"

maetijip · April 2016

msf74 wrote: »

I think part of what drives the desire for quick weight loss is psychological distress which no one particularly wants to live with for a long period of time.

I think many people live in a state of deliberate blindness to their weight and size because the reality is hard to deal with.

Then when the scales from their eyes and they are presented with what they have become they want to get away from it as quickly as possible.

It is a perfectly understandable reaction but leaves them wide open to be exploited or vulnerable to reckless approaches.

I would like to echo this sentiment as it relates to my experience.

The ever-present feed-beast/hunger-lion's claws do not dull around the necks of those who attempt a 'lifestyle change'.

It is a daily struggle, a mental apocalyptic war, with nuclear neurons firing towards the synaptic shield we call 'will'. Their goal? To satiate the feed-beast, to give in to his wanton lust for food.

Our inner fire, or whatever catalyst that ignited our change will always be in direct opposition to the void that now exists. This is where the true testing of oneself occurs, will your reasoning and motivation hold up to the onslaught?

Should we then seek to draw out this eternal battle? Hell no! We march forward with all we have, armed with our inner fire for change and either it will extinguish, or we will set the world ablaze with our triumph.

I rather live with 1200 calories a day championing my weight loss expediently and reveling in my unbreakable fortitude, than crawl to victory after years of slow progress.

*Not meant to demean or defame those who have made slow progress ultimately reaching their goals, for their victories are no less than mine... Personality wise, I like an all or none approach, so I was simply ascribing that above.

What is the rush?

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