Partner is a fussy eater - help!
Wophie
Posts: 126 Member
My current situation is that I live with my partner and have done so for around a year. We both work 9 hours a day, so take turns doing dinners.
My issue is that my boyfriend is a very fussy eater. Since we have been together I have managed to get him to try lots of new things (curry, Thai food, stews) but he is still quite adamant he doesn't like certain foods (fish, cheese, garlic, creamy sauces). This makes cooking meals quite awkward, especially when wanting to be healthy. He does eat vegetables (he loves them actually) but needs a lot of convincing when trying something new.
We have a £50 a week food budget so doing completely different meals would be quite difficult.
Just wondering if anyone else is in the same situation, and how they work around it?
My issue is that my boyfriend is a very fussy eater. Since we have been together I have managed to get him to try lots of new things (curry, Thai food, stews) but he is still quite adamant he doesn't like certain foods (fish, cheese, garlic, creamy sauces). This makes cooking meals quite awkward, especially when wanting to be healthy. He does eat vegetables (he loves them actually) but needs a lot of convincing when trying something new.
We have a £50 a week food budget so doing completely different meals would be quite difficult.
Just wondering if anyone else is in the same situation, and how they work around it?
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Replies
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When it's your night to cook, tell him in advance "I am going to make _______, shall I make enough for one or two?" If he doesn't want to try it, he can make his own arrangement.10
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My husband eats a limited menu. Our meals are pretty simple--baked or grilled meat, salad, another veggie or fruit, and a carb like mashed potatoes/rice/couscous. We each just eat different serving sizes and he doesn't eat the fruit/veg.
My recommendation would be to stay away from casseroles and sauced foods, as foods that are more deconstructed rather than mixed together are more easily served to people with different preferences. The only "mixed together" dinners we usually eat are spaghetti and pizza.0 -
My partner is quite picky as well, I have developed a system that seems to be working for both of us right now though. When I am roasting veggies I will keep the ones they dont like to one side so when everything is done I dont have to worry about picking through everything. For things like pasta, I will freeze the (only) sauce they like in ice cube trays and keeps the cubes in ziplock baggies to quickly throw together on their portion. I find that its often easier to save the sauces for last, so I can portion out theirs, then quickly add more spices to mine for 2-3 minutes and then everyone is happy.
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If he likes veg then go stir fry0
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You could do what I do with my toddlers. I make what I want for dinner. If they don't like it they can have a bowl of cereal or a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I always make 2 vegetables. They don't have to eat both but they have to at least try one of them. If they opt out of veggies they have to eat some fruit or no dessert. When you are 3 dessert is a big f'ing deal. Not sure how that would work with a grown man, but being married and having 2 boys I've determined that it my case....there isn't a huge deal of difference dealing with hubs or dealing with the kids. lol.4
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This is a really good idea, I never considered freezing sauce like that. Thanks for the tip!saragreen012 wrote: »My partner is quite picky as well, I have developed a system that seems to be working for both of us right now though. When I am roasting veggies I will keep the ones they dont like to one side so when everything is done I dont have to worry about picking through everything. For things like pasta, I will freeze the (only) sauce they like in ice cube trays and keeps the cubes in ziplock baggies to quickly throw together on their portion. I find that its often easier to save the sauces for last, so I can portion out theirs, then quickly add more spices to mine for 2-3 minutes and then everyone is happy.
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enterdanger wrote: »You could do what I do with my toddlers. I make what I want for dinner. If they don't like it they can have a bowl of cereal or a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I always make 2 vegetables. They don't have to eat both but they have to at least try one of them. If they opt out of veggies they have to eat some fruit or no dessert. When you are 3 dessert is a big f'ing deal. Not sure how that would work with a grown man, but being married and having 2 boys I've determined that it my case....there isn't a huge deal of difference dealing with hubs or dealing with the kids. lol.
I can definitely give that a go when it's my week to pay for the food shopping! You definitely made me laugh out loud at the idea of treating him like a toddler!!0 -
I don't see why this is an issue.....oh...uh.. sorry. I read the thread title wrong.13
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Alluminati wrote: »I don't see why this is an issue.....oh...uh.. sorry. I read the thread title wrong.
Haha oh dear! That didn't even cross my mind when I wrote it!
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We cook for ourselves!
My spouse and I have been together for 30+ years. We learned long ago that the importance of shared meal time was the TIME, not the MEAL.
Yes, there are things we both like and cook to share; but we also cook stuff we like to eat ourselves, and then leave leftovers in the fridge. When it's my night "to cook", I make what I want for me, and then pull out one of his leftovers for him. It works vice versa, too!2 -
rosebarnalice wrote: »We cook for ourselves!
My spouse and I have been together for 30+ years. We learned long ago that the importance of shared meal time was the TIME, not the MEAL.
Yes, there are things we both like and cook to share; but we also cook stuff we like to eat ourselves, and then leave leftovers in the fridge. When it's my night "to cook", I make what I want for me, and then pull out one of his leftovers for him. It works vice versa, too!
That's a really good idea, I'll suggest it to him - thank you!0 -
I would think that eliminating cheese and creamy sauces from the menu would actually help with fixing low calorie meals...0
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My dh likes everything but pasta and white sauces. My teenage dd does not like trying new things and would eat pasta every day. I plan meals that include things everyone likes each week but that doesn't mean everyone likes every meal. They can eat the side dishes, leftovers, sandwich or cereal. For example I will cook chicken with pasta as a side dish and a salad. Dh eats the chicken and salad. Dd eats the pasta. I eat some of everything. I try cooking new things but maybe only once or twice a month. I post the meal plan in the kitchen so people know in advance what we are having. I will help someone figure out something different but not at the time when I am actually cooking and putting food on the table.
Everyone has food preferences. You both have choices.
Plan meals together if you are sharing a budget and want to eat together.
You can cook something you both like for shared meals. You compromise on how often you make new things.
You can cook things that are easy to leave sauces, cheeses, etc off a portion- probably not mixed dishes.
He is not a toddler. You can cook and eat whatever you like and he can figure out his own food issues. He can cook and eat whatever he likes too and you can deal with it.
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I do all of my cooking on Sunday for the week. Some things I cook for both of us (LOTS of chicken), some things that I particularly like I might cook for myself, and then I make him some things that I don't eat. We both end up with plenty to choose from in the end. We have completely different tastes in food. He likes spicy and I like what other people would consider bland.0
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Family of 5 here with a $90 dollar a week grocery budget (which is around £62). My husband is also a very selective/picky eater. Since I started this whole process several years ago I've made two variations of meals-one for me and one for my family. I use a lot of the same ingredients/base items, and then adjust a few things to accommodate everyone.
Tonight for example- we're having 'breakfast for supper'. My family will have eggs sunny side up with toast, hasbrowns, bacon and fruit salad. I'll have scrambled egg whites with salsa mixed in, one hash brown and one serving of bacon.
Tomorrow my family is having chicken breasts prepared in the crockpot with mashed potatoes, dinner rolls and veggies. I'm having the chicken breast and the veggies and then a side of sauteed mushrooms.
This keeps everyone happy and it's not really a lot of extra work
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ReaderGirl3 wrote: »Family of 5 here with a $90 dollar a week grocery budget (which is around £62). My husband is also a very selective/picky eater. Since I started this whole process several years ago I've made two variations of meals-one for me and one for my family. I use a lot of the same ingredients/base items, and then adjust a few things to accommodate everyone.
Tonight for example- we're having 'breakfast for supper'. My family will have eggs sunny side up with toast, hasbrowns, bacon and fruit salad. I'll have scrambled egg whites with salsa mixed in, one hash brown and one serving of bacon.
Tomorrow my family is having chicken breasts prepared in the crockpot with mashed potatoes, dinner rolls and veggies. I'm having the chicken breast and the veggies and then a side of sauteed mushrooms.
This keeps everyone happy and it's not really a lot of extra work
You gotta give me some recipes at $90 a week for 5.0 -
Alluminati wrote: »I don't see why this is an issue.....oh...uh.. sorry. I read the thread title wrong.
Now I can't unsee this.
I agree with cooking large quanties of things your partner likes and then adding additional ingredients/sides/etc. to satisfy your own tastes. Or, he can cook his own meals. It's always an option.1 -
ReaderGirl3 wrote: »Family of 5 here with a $90 dollar a week grocery budget (which is around £62). My husband is also a very selective/picky eater. Since I started this whole process several years ago I've made two variations of meals-one for me and one for my family. I use a lot of the same ingredients/base items, and then adjust a few things to accommodate everyone.
Tonight for example- we're having 'breakfast for supper'. My family will have eggs sunny side up with toast, hasbrowns, bacon and fruit salad. I'll have scrambled egg whites with salsa mixed in, one hash brown and one serving of bacon.
Tomorrow my family is having chicken breasts prepared in the crockpot with mashed potatoes, dinner rolls and veggies. I'm having the chicken breast and the veggies and then a side of sauteed mushrooms.
This keeps everyone happy and it's not really a lot of extra work
You gotta give me some recipes at $90 a week for 5.
I keep things really simple. Here's an idea of some of the suppers we're doing for the next couple weeks: tator tot casserole, bbq chicken (where I literally dump some frozen chicken breasts into the crockpot with Sweet Baby Rays bbq sauce lol), tacos, sloppy joes, breakfast for supper (couple different variations of this theme), frozen pizzas (pizza on sale for $2.99/will use 2), grilled ham and cheese sandwiches (with Texas toast), quiche (the most expensive meal probably), and then ham steaks. I add a few side choices to each and call it good lol. And then a few times eating out, and at least one night will be leftovers (the tator tot casserole is a two nighter).
eta: to clarify-the $90 a week also includes things like toilet paper, cleaning supplies/laundry etc. But it does not include pet food, alcoholic beverages or eating out. We budget that stuff separately 0 -
it is probably different because i was a chef for over a decade but when my husband first met his diet included burgers, fried chicken, alfreado, burritos, steak fast food ect. I would take elements of what he likes and elevate it into him trying something new. now he eats so many different things!0
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Not to offend anyone, but to me it's incredibly childish to be an adult and still a fussy eater. If my wife were to make something for dinner for us, I'm definitely going to eat it. I may not have gobs and gobs of it like I used to, but I'll still eat it because she went through the effort to make it. There are only a couple things I don't like to eat, and it's mostly due to moral objections (veal, duck, foie gras, lamb).3
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Redbeard333 wrote: »Not to offend anyone, but to me it's incredibly childish to be an adult and still a fussy eater. If my wife were to make something for dinner for us, I'm definitely going to eat it. I may not have gobs and gobs of it like I used to, but I'll still eat it because she went through the effort to make it. There are only a couple things I don't like to eat, and it's mostly due to moral objections (veal, duck, foie gras, lamb).
I'm not offended at all, I actually completely agree. I just don't think it's worth the daily argument with my partner though
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Alluminati wrote: »I don't see why this is an issue.....oh...uh.. sorry. I read the thread title wrong.
Haha. I did the same thing.
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In my house, if I make it, you eat it - you can tell me that its crap, and I wont make it again though. My dad was always very respectful of my mothers cooking - if he didnt like what she made, he would eat a portion, decline anything further, and tell her that he meal was wonderfully "nutritious"!!
So for picky eaters, hide veg (like carrots or zucchini, shredded) in meatloaf or meatballs, or spag sauce. Experiment with different ways to cook things - boiled veg is yucky, but roasted, it is an entirely different thing, and so much more tasty.
Or post a list on the fridge or counter about a proposed menu for the week and ask for his input - that way you wont waste any money on experiments that he wont even try.
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Alluminati wrote: »I don't see why this is an issue.....oh...uh.. sorry. I read the thread title wrong.
Once seen, cannot unsee.1 -
Redbeard333 wrote: »Not to offend anyone, but to me it's incredibly childish to be an adult and still a fussy eater. If my wife were to make something for dinner for us, I'm definitely going to eat it. I may not have gobs and gobs of it like I used to, but I'll still eat it because she went through the effort to make it. There are only a couple things I don't like to eat, and it's mostly due to moral objections (veal, duck, foie gras, lamb).
What is wrong with lamb?? I raise sheep. I find that it is a huge misconception that people have. They hear "lamb" and think of a tiny, cute little baby. In reality the best time(for the producer) to sell a "lamb" for meat is when they are 80-90lbs. That usually works out to an animal that is 7-9 months old and has been away from its mother for a few months already. And they are almost the same size of their parents. Not so cute and not at all baby. Sorry for the off topic. It is nothing like veal where they are often penned so they cannot move to keep the resulting meat tender.
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Redbeard333 wrote: »Not to offend anyone, but to me it's incredibly childish to be an adult and still a fussy eater. If my wife were to make something for dinner for us, I'm definitely going to eat it. I may not have gobs and gobs of it like I used to, but I'll still eat it because she went through the effort to make it. There are only a couple things I don't like to eat, and it's mostly due to moral objections (veal, duck, foie gras, lamb).
Last time I had shrimp
I involuntarily gagged and had I been at a dinner table or in a nice restaurant you could probably classify it as 'making a scene'. I don't feel it's childish to avoid foods that will cause me to have that sort of reaction.
I wouldn't classify myself as a fussy eater, I'll eat most things but some things are downright gross and not worth trying anymore.0 -
Redbeard333 wrote: »Not to offend anyone, but to me it's incredibly childish to be an adult and still a fussy eater. If my wife were to make something for dinner for us, I'm definitely going to eat it. I may not have gobs and gobs of it like I used to, but I'll still eat it because she went through the effort to make it. There are only a couple things I don't like to eat, and it's mostly due to moral objections (veal, duck, foie gras, lamb).
Last time I had shrimp I involuntarily gagged and had I been at a dinner table or in a nice restaurant you could probably classify it as 'making a scene'. I don't feel it's childish to avoid foods that will cause me to have that sort of reaction.
I wouldn't classify myself as a fussy eater, I'll eat most things but some things are downright gross and not worth trying anymore.
I agree with you there. By "fussy eater" I envision someone who is like a little kid, only eating chicken nuggets and orange soda for two out of three meals of the day. I had a friend who, no matter where we went to eat, would always have a burger, and wouldn't allow the burger to touch her fries or any other side dish that it came with. Hell, she even pronounced fajita "fah-gitta".0 -
youngmomtaz wrote: »Redbeard333 wrote: »Not to offend anyone, but to me it's incredibly childish to be an adult and still a fussy eater. If my wife were to make something for dinner for us, I'm definitely going to eat it. I may not have gobs and gobs of it like I used to, but I'll still eat it because she went through the effort to make it. There are only a couple things I don't like to eat, and it's mostly due to moral objections (veal, duck, foie gras, lamb).
What is wrong with lamb?? I raise sheep. I find that it is a huge misconception that people have. They hear "lamb" and think of a tiny, cute little baby. In reality the best time(for the producer) to sell a "lamb" for meat is when they are 80-90lbs. That usually works out to an animal that is 7-9 months old and has been away from its mother for a few months already. And they are almost the same size of their parents. Not so cute and not at all baby. Sorry for the off topic. It is nothing like veal where they are often penned so they cannot move to keep the resulting meat tender.
I guess I'm guiltily in the population that thinks "baby"
Sorry... 0 -
We have about a half dozen recipes that get cycled through as proven favourites and once in a while I try something new. If I get rave reviews the recipe gets a star.0
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I haven't read any other responses, but my initial thought was....he must be cooking what he likes on his nights, sooooo....if you tailor your nights to fit what he'll eat without griping, are you ever gonna get to eat how you want to?
If it's that much of an issue then I think you should each make double of whatever you like so you each have leftovers of what you enjoy eating. Simple solution.2
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