Reasonable goals... my concerns

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jparsons27
jparsons27 Posts: 61
in Motivation and Support
So here are a couple of concerns of mine. My husband and I are trying to get pregnant sooner than later. We just had a miscarriage and I think I gained 3lbs just getting through that... (m/c only happened a couple of weeks ago.) My doctor was very clear with me that I only needed to gain 15lbs at most when I was pregnant.

I know it is not reasonable for me to lose 38lbs before I try to get pregnant again as I am hoping we will in the next 6 months. And I say 38lbs because that is the top of the healthy weight for me. I'd be happy getting off the 25lbs i gained these last 3 years. Honestly, I'd be happy with losing 5 solid pounds :)

So what is reasonable? I just don't know.

I have never been skinny and I am not even trying for skinny. I have alot of size 10 clothes that I would LOVE to fit in again.

Writing all of this right now... cuz I am hungry and want to make it through today.

Replies

  • Atlantique
    Atlantique Posts: 2,484 Member
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    I'm very sorry for your loss. :(

    Did your doctor give you any guidelines for a target weight pre-pregnancy?

    You can always start with a goal to lose 38 lbs (in the healthy range) and adjust with circumstances. You can change your goal at any time.
  • HSmamato4
    HSmamato4 Posts: 70
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    As long as you are you getting the calories and nutrition you need, it is okay to lose weight while pregnant. Not that you should be trying to lose weight, but if you are making dietary changes and exercising, you will probably naturally lose weight anyway. The important thing is eating good, nourishing foods for you and baby-no junk! I have had 4 kids so far and haven't gained much during any pregnancy. I also have lost some in the beginning because of morning sickness. It won't hurt baby if you lose, as long as you are nourishing yourself and baby. Eat plenty of protein and fruits and veggies. Feel to friend me. We will be trying to get pregnant as well by the end of the year!
  • HSmamato4
    HSmamato4 Posts: 70
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    Also, just wanted to say I am sorry about your miscarriage. I have been there and it's so hard. Will this be your first baby?
  • KeeleySue
    KeeleySue Posts: 158
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    It is very possible to lose weight while pregnant and still have a healthy pregnancy and baby.

    You need to make sure you are hitting your calorie goal + an extra 300 calories/day for baby. You can continue to work out but I would be sure to run all your workouts by your doctor. As long as *you* are losing weight and your baby is growing and healthy it's completely ok!
  • Tree72
    Tree72 Posts: 942 Member
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    Based on how much you say you have to lose, I would aim for one pound a week. That should be reasonable and not leave you too hungry. So how much you lose overall will depend on how long you have. If it's 3 months till you conceive again, that could be 12 pounds lost. :)

    Best wishes on your weight loss journey and on having the healthy, happy family you want.
  • techymum
    techymum Posts: 168
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    First let me say how very sorry I am to hear about your miscarriage. I have not walked in your shoes, but I can only imagine the emotions that you are going through now.

    Is it the time to worry about weight loss right now? Honestly, I would say be kind to yourself. Plug in your ipod and go out for nice walks. Change the location so you are sometimes near home, and then head out to a nice park.

    Eat well and healthy. Do you have a farmers market nearby that you could buy some fresh food?

    I guess that is the advice I would give - eat well, and walk.

    Take care,
    Jayme
  • dlaplume2
    dlaplume2 Posts: 1,658 Member
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    I am very sorry for your loss. I do hope you have better results next time. If it is any consolation I did have 3 kids after a miscarriage. I am not trying to take away anything, just trying to let you know that it does work out sometimes.


    That being said I think you should work on eating health, like you would if you were pregnant. Follow the calorie restrictions to lose 1lb a week and no more, then when you do get pregant change it to maintenance calories.


    Best wishes
  • cbirdso
    cbirdso Posts: 465 Member
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    First, all my sympathy about the miscarriage. I had a couple of those myself but had a happy ending and have a son who will be celebrating his 22nd birthday soon. Second, concentrate on GOOD NUTRITION, rather than losing weight. Hunger means your body is lacking nutrition. I don't see why you have to be a healthy BMI to have a baby - you have to be healthy, period. I gained 100 lbs during my SUCCESSFUL pregnancy and it was worth it. There is plenty of time to lose weight after the baby is born, which I did.
  • sparadise
    sparadise Posts: 26 Member
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    Very sorry for your loss.

    I used my pregnancy as a good time to cut coffee and start eating things that I would feel good about feeding a child. I just look at it exactly like that. I took to fruit, veggies, cheese and real meals instead of trying to sneak in fast food or junk food. Made me feel much better. Instead of starving, eat more frequently. And make your smaller servings count. Try not to get too discouraged over your eating habits.
  • punkinrn
    punkinrn Posts: 32 Member
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    as long as the extra weight isnt causing problems conceiving, i would focus more on just eating healthy and less on weight loss. i had similar ideas before i was pregnant with both my children. i wanted to lose wt so i wouldnt get "huge" during my pregnancy. it didnt work out that way, but i can say after having two children, i wiegh 30 lbs less than i did before kids, they are actually my motivation to be healthy. and i had lost wt prior to getting pregnant with my second son, and gained it back and then some in my first 12 weeks! just eat as healthy as you can and dont use the pregnancy as an excuse to overeat, baby only needs an extra 300 calories a day! good luck and god bless!
  • jparsons27
    jparsons27 Posts: 61
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    Yes. First child :)

    Thanks for your help!
  • ladygloria
    ladygloria Posts: 279 Member
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    First, I'm sorry for your loss. As someone who is ttc again, I understand the frustration you are going through. Where to set your goals knowing that the pregnancy will impede your getting there, even if we do want it.

    I chose to enter this time of my life as a turning point for my new healthier lifestyle and recognize that I am not on a diet and that I am in this for the lifelong haul. As such, I'm shooting for 10 lbs heavier than my wedding weight, but know that it will take a lot of time and work to get there. Pregnancy, when it happens, and the subsequent breast feeding will slow me down for a while, but will not stop my dedication to this lifestyle change.

    Doctors recommend that on average you lose no more than 2 lbs a week in order to maintain lean muscle mass. I would look at your current intake, exercise, and short term goals and see what is doable for you. Remember, this is something that needs to be sustainable for you so your goal will be different from all of ours.

    Good luck in your weight loss and ttc journey!
  • rhondaredhead
    rhondaredhead Posts: 135 Member
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    You'll have to decide what's reasonable for you, but I can tell you a little from my own experience. When I got pregnant, I was already overweight (210 at 5'6") and gained 40 pounds during my pregnancy (my doc didn't caution me as much as I wish he would have, but overdoing it was my fault). My daughter was 10 lbs 8 ozs and I lost all of the pregnancy weight within about six weeks of giving birth. But because of the problems I did have during my pregnancy—and because I want to be a good example for my daughter—I have lost almost 40 pounds since then, and am still working at it, despite the fact that we're going to start trying for baby #2 soon.

    When I was pregnant I had a lot of discomfort that I think I could have avoided if I had been healthier (and lighter) from the outset. The carpal tunnel and bursitis in my hips were the most painful (even had to get steroid treatments and go to physical therapy) and I was always exhausted. Sleeping was almost impossible because laying on my side made my hips worse, and walking was bad because my daughter was sitting so low that it was really straining muscles in my inner thighs (don't know if I could have done anything about that). Since I've lost weight and gained strength (I've actually become a runner!), I'm hoping the second pregnancy will be a little easier, physically—and I will be definitely watching what I eat next time around.

    Good luck!
  • SheilaSisco
    SheilaSisco Posts: 722 Member
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    I have always heard that it is NOT ok to lose weight while pregnant... in fact, most doctors get very concerned when that happens, REGARDLESS of your starting weight when you get pregnant. But that wasn't what you were asking.

    If you're looking at 6 months out, you could conceivably lose the weight you want. I have lost 31 pounds in about 4 1/2 months by eating better, watching portion sizes and working out moderately. I don't think it's outside the realm of possibility for you to lose most if not all of it in 6 months. You just need to get your food straightened out and build a good solid support system (it really makes a difference). Feel free to add me and I will help in any way I can. :)
  • isabelk
    isabelk Posts: 153 Member
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    I'm sorry for your loss.

    I say ask your doctor and do what feels right for you. You can probably lose weight during pregnancy, you could decide to go to maintenance, you could gain weight. Make sure your choice is an informed one.

    I wish you the very best TTC, I wish you a healthy pregnancy and a healthy child. May God give you these things! Amen.
  • Morglem
    Morglem Posts: 377 Member
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    I'm sorry for you loss! I think that if you start to control your calorie intake and start exercising you can loose 1.5 lb a week, if you get pregnant in 6 months that would be about 36 lb, and you can still control what you eat when you pregnant and you can exercise too, what will make getting back on track after pregnancy much easier. Good Luck!

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