Relationships and Weight Loss?

dbkyser
dbkyser Posts: 612 Member
edited December 1 in Health and Weight Loss
How much has relationships contributed to your weight loss success or failure.
I think relationships can play a huge part in someones health and fitness, whether it be a good or bad relationship experience.

Replies

  • nixxthirteen
    nixxthirteen Posts: 280 Member
    Hahaha ohh man.

    So I lost about 50lbs in 2014, but eventually I stopped being so vigorous with my logging at Christmas time (went on a vacation, was lenient because it was the holidays, and then New Year, etc etc). Started a new relationship in January andddd gained 30lbs back between then and just recently.

    The problem was a bunch of things, starting with a really crappy harassment situation at work, coupled with a move to a whole different city, and then going out on dates and trying all the restaurants in my new town with my new SO. We enabled each other to indulge really really often.

    BUT I'm getting back down to business now because my confidence is the lowest it's been since I first started using MFP, and even though I'm with someone, I want to feel and look good for me AND for him. And thankfully he's really supportive, and weighs things out for me whenever he cooks, tries not to snack when I can't, etc. If he weren't, I know it would be much harder.

  • Pam_Shebamm
    Pam_Shebamm Posts: 167 Member
    It depends on the person for sure. Usually when I start dating someone I just remain stable due to exercising less and eating out more.

    Lately I've been dating someone who understands my workout schedule, as he is mega fit and has his own schedule. I've managed to lose a couple of pounds so far.

    Don't get me wrong, we still both enjoy pigging out and being lazy together, but we also make a point to not let our training schedules fall by the wayside. It works.
  • endlessfall16
    endlessfall16 Posts: 932 Member
    Only you care about yourself. Other people don't care about your weight loss. If they want you, they only want you to go out and eat with them, which is not exactly helping your wt loss.
  • koslowkj
    koslowkj Posts: 188 Member
    edited April 2016
    After we started dating, I gained 35 and my boyfriend gained probably 50. Now we're losing it (and then some in my case) together. We live together, so it's actually really easy to keep each other accountable.
  • ksutherland677
    ksutherland677 Posts: 16 Member
    I lost so much weight and got to a size 2 with my ex. In my current relationship, I've gained almost 40 lbs. I completely believe relationships matter.
  • Meganthedogmom
    Meganthedogmom Posts: 1,639 Member
    Well, we all make our own choices, but others can definitely influence those choices.
    I gained a good 30lb and got to my all-time heaviest weight with my last boyfriend. Our habits were sitting at home, eating lots of fast food, and playing video games. We didn't give a crap about our health and we both loved to eat.
    Since being in my current relationship, over the years I've lost about 90 pounds with him. Our habits are being productive on the weekends, cooking nutritious meals, moving around a lot. He's the least lazy person I've ever met and I think that helps me a lot with my goals.
  • sindirella21
    sindirella21 Posts: 60 Member
    I find that I lose weight and try to stay in shape when I'm happy in my relationship. But I eat my emotions. So being in a destructive relationship for a year, I gained 20 lbs. out of the relationship now and I'm aleady down 4.5 lbs! I don't know that relationships matter, but how you feel does!!
  • JanetMMcC
    JanetMMcC Posts: 410 Member
    And things can change within a relationship. The last time I lost a significant amount of weight, The Man In My Life said I was being obsessive, and was embarrassed if we were eating out and I asked for nutritional info or for substitutions. This time around, he's been nothing but supportive.
  • ObsidianMist
    ObsidianMist Posts: 519 Member
    my relationship with my ex was likely a factor in my weight gain. I lost my job and went on EI about 2 weeks before he injured himself and had to go on medical EI so for months we just sat around all day every day watching tv or him playing video games while I did whatever on my computer. it was winter so we weren't doing a whole lot. plus him being a pretty typical guy, was happy to eat pizza every day and we were always at his place so I ate whatever he made or ordered. that was before I started using this site and watching what I was eating and I gained those 30 pounds real fast lol. it really is all about choices though because my current partner doesn't work or do much of anything besides being a parent of a toddler about half the week but because I choose to watch my calorie intake and go to the gym, I'm losing the weight in spite of being sedentary and dating someone who's equally sedentary.
  • dbkyser
    dbkyser Posts: 612 Member
    Doesn't have to be a break up or new relationship to cause you to get healthy or unhealthy. Sometimes there are other factors that light a fire inside you.
  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,423 Member
    dbkyser wrote: »
    How much has relationships contributed to your weight loss success or failure.
    I think relationships can play a huge part in someones health and fitness, whether it be a good or bad relationship experience.

    Well, I want to stay healthy and alive to enjoy my life to the fullest with my family so I guess there is that.
  • simplymonicav
    simplymonicav Posts: 14 Member
    edited May 2016
    I actually rather not date right now. I'm still working on mastering healthy eating habits & with my busy schedule my free time is spent at the gym. I don't think I could handle eating out all the time.
  • lauraesh0384
    lauraesh0384 Posts: 463 Member
    I definitely think relationships can affect weight loss/gain if you let it. I'm a prime example. Before my boyfriend moved in last year I was doing great. I got down to my lowest weight ever since high school (158), then he moved in and my healthy eating pretty much went down the drain and I stopped walking as much. Not to mention we would eat out more (he loves Chinese buffets and meals that are generally really high in calories). Before I knew it, this year I was back up to 185. My boyfriend doesn't really care much about his weight. He can eat all day long and still maintain a weight of 205 lbs and he's 6'0". It was a wake up call for me that I couldn't live like that and I had to do what was best for me, even though I would hear the generic "I love you just the way you look". He's supportive, but in the beginning he didn't understand why I wanted to lose weight. Now he understands and even admitted that my confidence was much higher when I weighed less. A few times a week I'll make meals that he'll eat, but I can eat, too. Though generally I'll make my dinner and he'll come home and eat what he wants. I simply make my routine a priority now.
  • I_amnr
    I_amnr Posts: 129 Member
    once saw a husband and wife in the gym with their child who was a few months old sleeping in a cot next to them.... the kid didn't wake up once lol
    That's what you call dedication
  • lacroyx
    lacroyx Posts: 5,754 Member
    Works out great with my current gf. We both are working on losing fat and being active. We go on runs and walks together, have signed up and participated in 5K/10K's as a couple as well. She's a bit faster than me and has a lot less to lose than I do, but I am slowly catching up. We also work on eating healthier and watch our calories.
  • emmaprocopiou
    emmaprocopiou Posts: 246 Member
    I definitely put on weight when I started going out with then bf now husband. But that wasn't his fault , I just wanted to eat same portions as him and same foods that he can get away with.
    He has always been supportive when I am cutting back and often doesn't comment or get involved ( which suits me fine) but does think I have done well when I ask him. ( maybe that's the safe answer lol)
    I think weight loss is individual and not always rely on your relationship to motivate you, though it is great when you get couples that can do it together successfully.
  • choppie70
    choppie70 Posts: 544 Member
    I know I put on quite a bit of weight being with DH. I was very comfortable in my relationship and didn't worry about keeping up appearances. Unfortunately, the extra weight was not good for my health. My husband was very supportive when I started my journey. He has been very encouraging. Around mid November, he decided he wanted to work to become healthier as well. He is not overweight, but wanted to tone up and build some muscle. Although your goals are not the same, I love having a workout partner. We have worked on building up our home gym and we set aside a 90 min block each night to go down there together and workout. We both wear our own headphones and listen to our own music, but having him down there is great! I was beginning to lose motivation in November and had a 7 week span where the weight was not budging - having him start exercising with me helped me gain my motivation back!
  • dbkyser
    dbkyser Posts: 612 Member
    I was healthy and fit before I started dating my now wife, she was not into the fitness thing at all so I soon stopped and gained and gained and gained. Fast forward 10 years and I had gained over 100 lbs and although she was fine with it, I wasn't. She is not always supportive of my healthy living, but I have had to say I have to do this for me and my health. I do not force my lifestyle on her, but do encourage my son who is also overweight to get healthy and work out with me.
  • Alarae21
    Alarae21 Posts: 171 Member
    Two main factors caused a 30ish lb gain over five years. One was university and the other was becoming comfortable with my partner. He doesn't have the best eating habits (he can not eat at all at work some days!) so I would make sure he got a good dinner at night, which meant me as well even though I was at home eating during the day if not at University!

    We are getting married in August and mid-January this year I finally had my moment that it was time to stop being unhappy with this extra weight and to get rid of it. I'm now down almost 20lbs with another 20 or so to go. Maybe a few more after that as I have never been 'thin' in my whole life so I'm not sure what weight would look good on me!

    My partner has been supportive of me and is proud. He still shares in the dinners I make, all I do is make sure my portion size is appropriate to me :)
  • mathiseasy
    mathiseasy Posts: 165 Member
    edited May 2016
    I definitely put on weight when I started going out with then bf now husband. But that wasn't his fault , I just wanted to eat same portions as him and same foods that he can get away with.
    He has always been supportive when I am cutting back and often doesn't comment or get involved ( which suits me fine) but does think I have done well when I ask him. ( maybe that's the safe answer lol)
    I think weight loss is individual and not always rely on your relationship to motivate you, though it is great when you get couples that can do it together successfully.

    This is actually is my own experience as well. I like the last paragraph especially.
    It is important for me not to rely 100% on my husband for my weight loss. It is my weight to lose and not his, but with that said, he is my partner in life, cares about me and my health (and my feelers) and if I needed his support, I'd have it in a heartbeat. So yes, in a way, my relationship with him has helped my weight loss although it is not the thing that drives my weight loss.
  • vespiquenn
    vespiquenn Posts: 1,455 Member
    edited May 2016
    As others have said, relationships can affect activity levels and food choices, but it still comes down to inner-motivation.

    I have always had an interest in fitness during relationships, but it also meant eating disorders in my teens and early twenties. In those relationships, only one boyfriend didn't care much about his appearance (although towards the end, he would work out with me). Ironically, it was this boyfriend that my disordered eating was the most out of control.

    With my husband now, we workout together, including weight lifting, and mostly eat the same meals. He is very supportive of the fact that I do this to be healthy and fit instead of just skinny.
  • rhetoricalliz
    rhetoricalliz Posts: 4 Member
    Relationships are what I attribute my success to. Now I'm not just talkin my sweetie, but the support I receive from my fellow Weight Watchers meeting members, my gym group of ladies, my trainer, my social media people, friends, family & last, but not least, my wonderful husband. They keep me accountable and encouraged. Apparently it takes a village to lose this weight.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    My wife and I are both into health and fitness and nutrition so things tend to go pretty smoothly. We're both lean, healthy, and fit people and enjoy doing those things that keep us that way.
  • AspenDan
    AspenDan Posts: 703 Member
    My relationships have never helped or hurt my weight loss..but my weight loss certainly has changed my relationships.
  • Shells918
    Shells918 Posts: 1,070 Member
    I was at my goal weight when I met my husband. I worked out regularly and ate a bizarre diet of chips with hummus and fruit and cheese. Started out maintaining and he lost 20 lbs from my healthy cooking. A year later I went through some issues and the workouts dwindled, the quick foods increased as did my weight. Went on medication I knew would make me gain but for sanity's sake I took it. 50 pounds up a year later. Husband up 30. I had to get my life and my weight under control. Husband was completely supportive as I went to weigh watchers where I am a lifetime member, lost 80 lbs in the late 90s and became a leader. Didn't work for me this time, so after trying on my own with little success I went to a medical weight loss program. Turned out I'm insulin resistant and need to eat low carb in order to lose weight. Who knew? Changed my diet. Food in the house is different now. There are carbs here for my husband but I don't eat them and there are no longer starches served at dinner. He supports me 100% in my efforts in diet and even more in exercise. He's even thinking of exercising himself.
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