Pretty discouraged, and could use a friend or two...

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MartialAngel
MartialAngel Posts: 64 Member
in Motivation and Support
My name is Traci. I'm almost 26 (in a week) and I have two beautiful children, a 4 year old girl (Gabriel), and a 7 month old son (Dougie). I am happily married to their father, and have been for 5 years, this June. I used to be very fit in high school, and I have had a hard time getting back into shape since having my children. I am 75-80 lbs over my ideal weight, and I hate that I have such a hard time running around to play with my daughter. I don't want to miss out on the years of running and playing with my kids, so I am trying very hard to get back into shape again.

However, I am very discouraged, and I'm trying to find my motivation to get started again.
About 2 years ago, I tried getting into shape, and I started using MFP. I found a few friends on here and got into working out and walking, and eating better. I was doing fairly well, but I was trying to do all of this while raising my daughter, keeping up with housework, and going to nursing school. It was a lot to juggle, and sometimes I would falter. I met a fitness coach, and started a challenge group with her and several others. Every day, she would ask us how we were feeling, how our motivation was, and one day, I was having a hard time with it. I was very upset, because I was told by another student in my nursing classes that I needed to "lose some weight off my fat *kitten*". I was very hurt by this, and when we had our daily check in, I talked about it, because I was needing encouragement from the group. Instead, I was met with hostility from the fitness coach who was supposed to be building us up. She told me that she didn't think that was actually said to me, and that I should be posting positive things in the group, not negative things. I should be actively trying to build the others up. I was made to feel worthless, and I was called a liar, and was ultimately kicked out of the group. I don't know if it was because me having an off day was ruining her "image" as a fitness coach, or if it was because she only wanted positive things ever said in the group (which isn't realistic). But it came across like I wasn't welcome, and eventually I was kicked out. I was needing encouragement, and was abandoned and insulted. I was made to feel so worthless that I didn't see the point in continuing and I fell off the bandwagon BIG time...
By that point, I had lost almost 20 lbs and was only about 40 lbs away from my goal. But because of that incident, I stress-ate and gained quite a bit more weight. I felt at my worst, and I am trying very hard to fight past that feeling of worthlessness now. Every time I have tried to start over since then, I have given up because of that feeling. I am trying very hard to not succumb to it this time, and really stick with it.

Replies

  • kirstinethornburg
    kirstinethornburg Posts: 300 Member
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    Traci first forgive yourself for your past weight issues. We all fall at times. You are very busy and that makes loosing weight harder. I have had three knee replacements in the same knee for three years in a row. fineally have gotten my knee to stabilized and infection free for the last two years. I am so sorry that happened to you. Remeber that is her problem attitude not yours. Take what ever others say that is mean with a grain of salt. I know that feeling all to well of felling worthless. She obvioiusly was not the right trainer for you. Where do you live? Are you in the Kentucky lousivlle area or indianna areas?
    I know of two awesome trainers if you would like to try that kind of thing again. Other wise I am here for you through Fitness Pal
  • MartialAngel
    MartialAngel Posts: 64 Member
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    Thanks so much, Kirstine. No, I am in Amarillo, TX. The trainer I was using was not in my area, it was an online relationship, and I was supposed to check in with the group regularly, in order to keep accountable.
  • navdeeprana
    navdeeprana Posts: 473 Member
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    Fell free to add cheers ...
  • peaches183
    peaches183 Posts: 26 Member
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    Fell free to add
  • Vivianelias2012
    Vivianelias2012 Posts: 5 Member
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    Don't give up, Traci.. Keep going!! Do it for yourself and your children.. I have had two back surgeries and possibly a third coming up. I've gained so much weight since the surgeries due to medications, lack of exercise, not eating properly, depression and the list goes on.. I've decided this is it.. Enough is enough.. My weight isn't helping my medical issues with my back and in fact it's complicating matters worst.. I know it's difficult.. Believe me I do. But I also know that if Me, Myself and I don't do anything about it then I'll continue to struggle and can't blame anyone but myself..
    There is much ignorance on the loose.. Ignore it all and try to find motivation in yourself as you go through each day, one day at a time..
    I'm here for you as well.. We can try motivating each other.. We lose nothing in trying.. Let's goooooo. Tomorrow is a new day!!
  • MartialAngel
    MartialAngel Posts: 64 Member
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    Vivianelias2012 wrote: »
    Don't give up, Traci.. Keep going!! Do it for yourself and your children.. I have had two back surgeries and possibly a third coming up. I've gained so much weight since the surgeries due to medications, lack of exercise, not eating properly, depression and the list goes on.. I've decided this is it.. Enough is enough.. My weight isn't helping my medical issues with my back and in fact it's complicating matters worst.. I know it's difficult.. Believe me I do. But I also know that if Me, Myself and I don't do anything about it then I'll continue to struggle and can't blame anyone but myself..
    There is much ignorance on the loose.. Ignore it all and try to find motivation in yourself as you go through each day, one day at a time..
    I'm here for you as well.. We can try motivating each other.. We lose nothing in trying.. Let's goooooo. Tomorrow is a new day!!

    Thanks so much for the support, Viv! Right now I'm cooking my husband's lunch and having a hard time not snacking! Haha...he works overnights, so I have to make his lunch in the middle of the night so he can have a hot meal without eating out.
  • sgonza94
    sgonza94 Posts: 8 Member
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    Starting over can be tough, I am in the same boat too. :smile: I start and do a good job then I just give up and gain the weight back. Fortunately, I have no medical issues but I definitely want to stay healthy because hypertension, high cholesterol, and diabetes run in my family. That's tough what you dealt with in nursing school and with that trainer but the best thing to do is use their words as motivation because success is the best revenge. ;) lol I would love some support on this site because I know that it works but I want to try and fully engage and try to lose the weight and keep it off. You can add me too and we can try to keep each other on track. :smile:
  • Vivianelias2012
    Vivianelias2012 Posts: 5 Member
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    I know what you mean with the snacking.. Leave his food to him..
  • Vivianelias2012
    Vivianelias2012 Posts: 5 Member
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    It appears my reply was cut off.. Try some fruits while preparing his lunch.. No touching his lunch..
  • Vivianelias2012
    Vivianelias2012 Posts: 5 Member
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    I must be doing something wrong.. My replies are incomplete.. ??
  • MartialAngel
    MartialAngel Posts: 64 Member
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    Haha I just ate one bite of his chicken. It was really a larger portion than he should've been eating anyway. :D
  • bromma
    bromma Posts: 4 Member
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    J
  • sanfromny
    sanfromny Posts: 770 Member
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    Traci, you are young and you are blessed to have a husband a 2 children. You have more than a lot of others could ever wish for. But I do understand wanting to do this for you. SOmetimes your life doesn't feel complete until you find happiness inside yourself...which eventually translate to what you see on the outside.

    Part of failing is the ability to try again while learning from your mistakes.
    Take Dougie for long walks...ins't wonderful having 7 month old. I remember I would walk in the park pushing my baby girl's stroller having full conversations with her because she couldn't talk back. It got stuff off my chest. teh air felt fresh and I would feel awesome and accomplished when done. My husband also works overnights (6p-6a). Drink a few cups (at least 4) before you start cooking. You'll feel so full you won't want to munch. You can do this!
  • shadowmanlocal
    shadowmanlocal Posts: 15 Member
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    Hi Traci its not how you fall down its how you get up that counts . Your coach was the negative one not you so don't beat yourself up for the unprofessionalism of someone who was supposed to be motivating you , When I was at my top weight ( 192 kg !! ) I had so many feelings such as you feeling low self esteem worthlessness etc . But having gone on the journey back to health still ongoing ( now 120 kg !! ) over the past 21 months its all changed for the better beyond recognition . Stick with a programme that suits you and set clear milestones and goals daily , weekly and monthly and you will get there for sure . Its always upsetting when insensitive people make such remarks as you unfortunately experienced - believe me I ve had plenty in my time - best answer is to go see them when you've lost the 80 lb !! feel free to add me - if I can advise on anything from my experiences I'm happy to - you have a supportive environment - I'm sure you will achieve your goal if you give yourself space and time . Best of luck !!!!

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