Going out of my mind!

caimay199 · May 2016

Hi guys, I need some help

I feel like this is never going to happen for me. Today I've hit my peak weight of 228lbs (5'8, F). I just can't understand how I've let this happen. I've always been overweight my whole life (I'm nearly 30) and have lost weight every now and again, but then I always gain it back. I know it's all my fault and please don't read this as me posting one of those 'I don't understand' posts because I do understand - I have a steady diet of junk food that seems to have gotten worse the more I try and make it better. I need to take responsibility and overhaul my habits, but truthfully I don't know where to start.
What makes it more embarrassing is that I'm part of a research project on very low carb diets with a high fat intake, and I am very aware of the huge benefits of this type of diet. Yet, I can only last a few days following it. I count calories, sticking to a deficit, I've tried paleo, basically every method and I only ever last a few days before I rebound back to my old ways.
In the past I have been successful as I mentioned. But I think that losing and then gaining the weight back is part of the reason I don't last these days is because I'm so tired of constantly fighting, and losing the fight.
I'm super active as a former dancer who still dances 5x a week and I also lift weights. I just cannot halt this eating issue. I don't know what to do. Today I signed up for a low fat diet program as a last resort even though scientifically I know low fat diets aren't good for you. Just feel I'm running out of options.

lmande4 · May 2016

Stop blaming yourself!! My grandmother was raised in an orphanage in Italy. She always told me it was a very poor place. Everyone had the same food to eat. Yet there were skinny girls and big girls. I have been a big girl all my life. I'm 56 now. I have lost enough weight to build a Mountain. I have done probably every diet out there. The weight comes off, but eventually it creeps back. My husband made the decision to have a gastric sleeve. He went from 300 to 195. I have to be honest I'm so angry at him. Yet happy for him.
We just went through the most horific situation in our lives. He stayed the same, I gained 17 lbs. please don't think I am promoting his decision. You are young and I had a doctor once tell me diets don't work. He was correct in my case. I guess I'm just venting because I feel your pain. I have a daughter and a son going through the same torture. By no means are you the only one going through this nightmare.

WendyLaubach · May 2016

If you've been entirely focused on what kind of thing you're allowed to eat, maybe you'd have more success with a different approach: eat the things you like, but in smaller portions so that you can still hit a daily calorie budget. One of the hard things about dieting is that the rewards are delayed. It's important to find a daily reward in sticking to your plan. For some of us, that reward is as simple as the message that we've completed our daily log and are under our calorie budget. After a week or two, of course, we get to add the nearly certain knowledge that the scale will show a drop in weight as well, which is a rush that quickly becomes more satisfying than eating 2x as much as we need. Will you get hungry at first? Sure, but we generally find that the stomach shrinks up and the hunger is temporary.

caimay199 · May 2016

Thank you for your responses. I'm so ready to make a change but I don't think I can cope with another failure. So I need to find out why I'm failing. I think maybe I try to overhaul my diet so drastically and then end up quitting - maybe I just need to focus on making healthier choices but not necessarily calorie counting at this stage - and definitely not cutting out carbs or any other food group. Basically some kind of compromise - a first step. As for the reward, I really don't know. I seem to have this two week threshold - I never make it into the second week. If I can get two weeks of consistency under my belt I think I'd feel a lot differently.

ronjsteele1 · May 2016

For my first month on MFP all I did was just log everything I ate. I'm generally a healthy eater anyway, but I had my share of "junk" food. After that month (and during it as well) I started to understand why I wasn't losing. By the time I started the second month I felt very comfortable with allowing myself what I wanted to eat with the understanding that portion size matters. For the second month I focused on meticulous logging and slowly lowering my portions. The third month I finally started being able to hit the calories set by MFP and started losing steadily. I did not go over my maintenance calories those first few months but I used the months as a chance to evaluate my eating habits, getting comfortable with weighing everything, logging, etc. I also bought an activity tracker that really helps me keep moving to get to at least 10K steps a day (in addition to walking, etc.). So maybe that's where you need to start? Just start by logging and staying at your maintenance calories. And then baby step your way into things. It has worked for me and I am succeeding (albeit it slowly!) at losing.

Good luck.

Going out of my mind!

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