Do you ever feel like????

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KMcBandit
KMcBandit Posts: 65
in Motivation and Support
SO I have this trip coming up in 3 weeks a Trip that I've been dreading for month's because it's a lake vacation we all know what that means! Bathingsuit. Not to mention it's with my inlaws and my mother in law a women who last august was over 250 pounds is now perfect and it makes me sad because I work so hard and never lose much. I really don't know what to do I set out a few months ago to weigh 170 by the time i left and I'm not changing so I don't want to go. Have you ever felt this way? Afraid to do anything because your not ok in your own skin? How do I get past this! HELP ME

Replies

  • edubb5
    edubb5 Posts: 2
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    I feel like this too. I have been talking about losing weight for almost 6 years now and I'm just now successfully doing anything. I go to church camp every year and I always want to be more in shape and thinner for the upcoming year, but never do! However, I know I'm not comfortable in my own skin, but I do know I'm doing something about it. That's really what matters. Is that you're doing something about it, not just moping around.
  • cdskates
    cdskates Posts: 49 Member
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    Honestly, I'm terrified of seeing my boyfriend again because I feel like I haven't changed much...or enough, anyway. Somebody told me it's a mindset though... "If you know you're making progress, why let anybody or anything else hold you back" is what she said. If you're uncomfortable wearing your bathing suit, wear a tshirt on over it. It's okay. Make yourself comfortable and ENJOY yourself.

    You're makin a difference in your life. THAT'S what's important.
  • lrgarza82
    lrgarza82 Posts: 35 Member
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    I know all too well how you feel! I'm the epitome of not feeling comfortable in my own skin. I've put off my wedding for 2 years because I was not at "wedding weight" and .... with stress from work and life, I have lost and regained all that I tried to lose. This week I finally got on the scale and was alarmed to see how much I have gained, but I refuse to let it dictate my life. I've started a strict diet, joined a gym I love, and have set an official date to walk down the aisle. Point is: I have learned that I can either be a victim to my weight or I can fight it. Find a gym that really makes you feel good about yourself, and hit it 6x week. Get a strict diet plan and monitor your calories rigorously. Whether you lose as much weight as you wanted or not, your energy levels will spike and you will feel better about yourself. Don't judge yourself by how much others weigh or their accomplishments. A lot can happen in 3 weeks, focus on that. Take charge and remember: the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it.
  • lozf85
    lozf85 Posts: 62 Member
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    Oh hunnie =( I think we’ve all felt like this at some point – I know I do often!

    Best solution? Go shopping and find a bathing suit that you feel comfortable in – something flattering that covers the bits you aren’t happy with! The worst thing you can do is crash diet, but get a much exercise in as you can, it will make you feel better and you will be amazed what three weeks of working out can do.

    Most importantly, remember, you’re beautiful =)
  • adellepuppy
    adellepuppy Posts: 130
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    First of all you're beautiful.

    As one mother of five to another, I think you just tell yourself you look like you had five kids by the time you were 32 and it's going to take as long as it takes to get where you want to be. But five kids later you don't owe any explanations and you have nothing to prove to anyone. Just focus on having fun with your family on vacation. A family of seven is some serious splash action. Have a blast!
  • Nomomush
    Nomomush Posts: 582 Member
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    Yes---frequently. I have a friend who has flat abs and had her breast done a few years ago so she can wear teeny tiny bikinis and I am still uncomfortable wearing a 2 piece (even though I am now a size 2). This actually drives me to keep going and keep pushing harder. Train harder. Eat cleaner. It's all about what you do with the negative. You can either let it cripple you and stay the same way or you can choose to make the change.
  • sundancer1966
    sundancer1966 Posts: 478 Member
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    Hi, I am so sorry you are dreading your vacation. Yes, I know very well how you feel. I have felt that way, and do many times. I dread parties, where i know I am not going to be as small or as pretty as the other girls. Then never mind a family gathering where on my father's side of the family all the women are perfect. I take after my mother's side, the side that was built to survive a famine.

    I tell myself this, over and over again. what counts is who you are, and what is in your heart,. Not what your body looks like. I know thin "perfect" people who are far from pretty, it is the inner light inside of us that we project. Take pride in who you are, you know how hard you are working and you will reach your goal. But, in the meantime, don't let your size take away a good time. Being overweight has taken too much from me, don't let it take anything from you. Remember that comparing yourself to others only causes frustration. I know, I do it all the time and have to stop myself.

    Please try to enjoy your trip!!!

    Since your MIL has lost weight, she knows how hard it is to lose, and I hope she is not the type to judge.
  • Postlethwaite
    Postlethwaite Posts: 90 Member
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    Life is just too short for me to miss it over some fat. I have been in situations that made me uncomfortable. I think we all have. I used to run for the hills whenever something that might get uncomfortable came up. Then one day I realized that I was wasting so much time, and so many experiences over something that just wasn't nearly as important as living a good life. So I'm not perfect.. I'm pretty freakin great anyways.
  • Wendyma1
    Wendyma1 Posts: 289 Member
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    I totally know how you feel!!! I have a lake trip in September with a bunch of people I have never met. I do know that most of them are "plastic" or "fake" if you know what I mean!! And then there is me, nothing plastic or fake about me!!! I'm working hard to feel good about myself, but I have about 10 more pounds to go. however, I do feel good about the progress I have made and even if I dont lose all of the 10 to 17 pounds I have set out to lose, at least I know I will feel better and hopefully look a bit more toned.

    Go, have fun. If you're used to wearing a bikini, wear a tankini or a dazzling one piece. I'm sure regardless of what you wear, you will be stunning. Besides I'm sure you're family is happier to see you and spend time with you then worrying about how much weight you havent lost.
  • KMcBandit
    KMcBandit Posts: 65
    Options
    I feel like this too. I have been talking about losing weight for almost 6 years now and I'm just now successfully doing anything. I go to church camp every year and I always want to be more in shape and thinner for the upcoming year, but never do! However, I know I'm not comfortable in my own skin, but I do know I'm doing something about it. That's really what matters. Is that you're doing something about it, not just moping around.

    Edubb5,
    I don't like to just respond to things where I think a thank you is in order. I am trying as we all our and it seems like some do better then others I have been overweight since my second child was born 10 years ago and always tell myself I will be THIN again however with every child came more weight and harder losses 6 years is nothing to me :D Your gonna do great and I'm so glad I'm not alone now to train my brain to remember I'm trying to change. xoxoxox
  • KMcBandit
    KMcBandit Posts: 65
    Options
    .
  • KMcBandit
    KMcBandit Posts: 65
    Options
    Honestly, I'm terrified of seeing my boyfriend again because I feel like I haven't changed much...or enough, anyway. Somebody told me it's a mindset though... "If you know you're making progress, why let anybody or anything else hold you back" is what she said. If you're uncomfortable wearing your bathing suit, wear a tshirt on over it. It's okay. Make yourself comfortable and ENJOY yourself.

    You're makin a difference in your life. THAT'S what's important.

    Cdskates,
    Your boyfriend loves you no matter what you look like sure there is always an attraction from the outside but your inside is what shines through and keeps him yours! I truely believe that because I am one ugly girl in the morning and mine keeps coming back haha! Thank you for your kind words I believe in you.
  • KMcBandit
    KMcBandit Posts: 65
    Options
    I know all too well how you feel! I'm the epitome of not feeling comfortable in my own skin. I've put off my wedding for 2 years because I was not at "wedding weight" and .... with stress from work and life, I have lost and regained all that I tried to lose. This week I finally got on the scale and was alarmed to see how much I have gained, but I refuse to let it dictate my life. I've started a strict diet, joined a gym I love, and have set an official date to walk down the aisle. Point is: I have learned that I can either be a victim to my weight or I can fight it. Find a gym that really makes you feel good about yourself, and hit it 6x week. Get a strict diet plan and monitor your calories rigorously. Whether you lose as much weight as you wanted or not, your energy levels will spike and you will feel better about yourself. Don't judge yourself by how much others weigh or their accomplishments. A lot can happen in 3 weeks, focus on that. Take charge and remember: the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it.

    lrgarza82,
    first I have to say that I got married in my living room wearing spongebob pants and a big ole tshirt for this reason so I have kinda let my weight take over :( GET MARRIED THE RIGHT WAY! If I had to chose one regret that would be it. I do have a gym I love however I am the "chunky girl" or maybe that's just what I see who knows however I go before anyone is there most of the time and the other i am in goggles and a swim cap so noone knows who I am anyway. I think your right about not judging myself on others but I've always been compared so it's VERY hard for me to do. I need people like you in my life to tell me things like this because I seriously dread waking up to being the same weight everyday.! Keep on keepin on and wear that dress proudly girl.
  • KMcBandit
    KMcBandit Posts: 65
    Options
    Oh hunnie =( I think we’ve all felt like this at some point – I know I do often!

    Best solution? Go shopping and find a bathing suit that you feel comfortable in – something flattering that covers the bits you aren’t happy with! The worst thing you can do is crash diet, but get a much exercise in as you can, it will make you feel better and you will be amazed what three weeks of working out can do.

    Most importantly, remember, you’re beautiful =)

    lozf85,
    I found a suit and a pair of shorts to go over it because I always feel like my legs are to fat. However when your standing next to a perfect 50 something and have been trying for almost a year it's impossible to think differently lol. I can promise you this I will get my work outs one way or another and maybe twice for the next 3 weeks so let's see what changes. And just so you know you are gorgeous as well <3
  • KMcBandit
    KMcBandit Posts: 65
    Options
    First of all you're beautiful.

    As one mother of five to another, I think you just tell yourself you look like you had five kids by the time you were 32 and it's going to take as long as it takes to get where you want to be. But five kids later you don't owe any explanations and you have nothing to prove to anyone. Just focus on having fun with your family on vacation. A family of seven is some serious splash action. Have a blast!

    adelle,
    All I can say to you is this. I read the words you typed and cried. Not many people know what life is with 5 kid's and I know you do which helps me so much to know I'm not alone. I was 30 when I had my last little sprout so yeah they came quick and my body went downhill! It's tough right? Like really tough? Especially when you have bake nights and pizza parties and all these things and you have 5 wonderful little people telling you mom you can eat it your not fat your pretty it kills me everytime. My kid's are my life and my reason for wanting this so badly I know I can do it it's just taking forever!!! I will have fun with them no matter what I always do so thank god for them because really if they were'nt going I would probably stay home! xoxoxoxo
  • KMcBandit
    KMcBandit Posts: 65
    Options
    Yes---frequently. I have a friend who has flat abs and had her breast done a few years ago so she can wear teeny tiny bikinis and I am still uncomfortable wearing a 2 piece (even though I am now a size 2). This actually drives me to keep going and keep pushing harder. Train harder. Eat cleaner. It's all about what you do with the negative. You can either let it cripple you and stay the same way or you can choose to make the change.

    Nomomush,
    I had friends life that. I got tired of the looks and sassy attitudes so I dumped them all lol The friends I have now live under my roof and of course the great people i have met here. A size 2 is pretty great! You've done well for yourself after reading all the thoughts and opinions from everyone here I am going to do exactly what you said PUSH HARDER and get my body back :D Thanks for the advice!
  • KMcBandit
    KMcBandit Posts: 65
    Options
    Hi, I am so sorry you are dreading your vacation. Yes, I know very well how you feel. I have felt that way, and do many times. I dread parties, where i know I am not going to be as small or as pretty as the other girls. Then never mind a family gathering where on my father's side of the family all the women are perfect. I take after my mother's side, the side that was built to survive a famine.

    I tell myself this, over and over again. what counts is who you are, and what is in your heart,. Not what your body looks like. I know thin "perfect" people who are far from pretty, it is the inner light inside of us that we project. Take pride in who you are, you know how hard you are working and you will reach your goal. But, in the meantime, don't let your size take away a good time. Being overweight has taken too much from me, don't let it take anything from you. Remember that comparing yourself to others only causes frustration. I know, I do it all the time and have to stop myself.

    Please try to enjoy your trip!!!

    Since your MIL has lost weight, she knows how hard it is to lose, and I hope she is not the type to judge.

    sundancer1966,
    This sounds just like me I hide I'm definatly a hider.. Why though because your right it's what's inside that counts and I am a good kind loving person who would do anything for anyone who needed me. I wish people would see that and not my fat thighs or chubby arms!! You knwo it's actually gotten to a point that i ask my kid's "do i look like her or am i fatter" and to have my 10 year old say mom you look like you and i love you seriously i think he's tired of me asking. I will enjoy the trip and try not to think about it, I'll take lot's of pictures so that next year i will go back and be half of me :D
  • KMcBandit
    KMcBandit Posts: 65
    Options
    Life is just too short for me to miss it over some fat. I have been in situations that made me uncomfortable. I think we all have. I used to run for the hills whenever something that might get uncomfortable came up. Then one day I realized that I was wasting so much time, and so many experiences over something that just wasn't nearly as important as living a good life. So I'm not perfect.. I'm pretty freakin great anyways.

    Postlethwaite,
    Ok.. So this is all I can say to you.. You are pretty freakin great and you made me smile! ;)
  • KMcBandit
    KMcBandit Posts: 65
    Options
    I totally know how you feel!!! I have a lake trip in September with a bunch of people I have never met. I do know that most of them are "plastic" or "fake" if you know what I mean!! And then there is me, nothing plastic or fake about me!!! I'm working hard to feel good about myself, but I have about 10 more pounds to go. however, I do feel good about the progress I have made and even if I dont lose all of the 10 to 17 pounds I have set out to lose, at least I know I will feel better and hopefully look a bit more toned.

    Go, have fun. If you're used to wearing a bikini, wear a tankini or a dazzling one piece. I'm sure regardless of what you wear, you will be stunning. Besides I'm sure you're family is happier to see you and spend time with you then worrying about how much weight you havent lost.

    Wendy,
    Just so you know I think your amazing and you look fantastic! I watch your logs and you are doing great! Your gonna stand out like a sore thumb on your vacation because you are a kind person and i'm glad your my friend!
  • kir911
    kir911 Posts: 228 Member
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    I feel like that daily!!! As most of us who are on this journey seem too! LOL It is such a challenge and I am very much in the same boat as you. I am 38, I have three kids, 10, 6, and my most recent "sprout" is almost 1. I had three C- sections which seems to make recoveries more challenging and with each pregnancy started off already on the heavy side. I have been trying to get off the baby weight for the last 10 years! My husband is a personal trainer, which makes this whole situation even more frustrating as I have watched people over the years accomplish something I never seemed to be able to accomplish. One thing I have learned, is that your success is so dependant on your mental state and willingness or readiness to make things happen. I also do not lose weight easily...it is a daily struggle and honestly it is like a big science experiment for me, what amount of calories coupled with what amount of exercise is gonna be the right formula to make me start or continue losing. I have been working hard at it consistently for about 6 weeks now and I have only lost 7 lbs. I am getting frustrated and have goals I want to reach and wonder whether I am gonna reach them or not. But, instead of letting it get to me, which at times I am not very successful at, I am trying to take one day at a time. Get my workout in, get the proper nutrition in me and start the next day. I can only do what I can do! I work night shift and have 3 kids, and life is busy as you know. Sometimes, you have to allow life to happen, ie have a piece of birthday cake or pizza, but, do it in moderation. I know for me I will be so glad to not feel this way anymore, and that is the goal I am working towards. We can do it!!

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