We broke up because...
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She wasn't into kinky sex0
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His legs looked better in my heels than mine did!
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I was a Heel...0
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He kept stealing my pillow0
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Was too cheap to buy more pillows0
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He put a pillow over my face0
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Caught him fluffing someone else's pillows0
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I couldn't silence her snoring...0
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Tried to suffocate me in my sleep
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Didn't believe it was my somnambulism...0
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I wasn't his type.0
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She typecast me as the nerdy librarian. I had more sides than that!0
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She hated my saxophone playing0
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Because she "hated my guts.".
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He had no guts. Was afraid of his own shadow.0
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She kicked me in her sleep0
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Wouldn't believe that I had restless legs syndrome0
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Thought it would be a kick to shoplift. She was nuts.0
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