Weekend rant
sindirella21
Posts: 60 Member
I love my weekends with my child, 6 yo boy. But the weekends are hard with food. His dad is morbidly obese (recently hospitalized with chest pains at the ripe old age of 34) and I have my own body image issues. He wants to see his mommy enjoying the same foods he does, and we eat healthy, but I can see his concern when I make 4 sausages for breakfast and mommy only eats one while he gets 3. To him, it's not fair. I just want him to see his mommy eating like a normal human being!!
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I eat one sausage sometimes, what is abnormal about the amount?0
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A serving size is 3. My kid looks at it like if I make 4 we should each get two. He's very concerned about fairness, as most 6 yo's are.0
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That can be tough. I would say talk to a nutritionist for advice on how to get your son to understand that what your doing is so that you are around for him to raise him and that eating healthy is part of it. Prayers that his Fathers health improves. Do not make you time with him just about food.1
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I get it, kids at that age are all about fairness. Gotta love it
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You could explain that you have different bodies. His is till growing taller and stronger and so it needs different food than yours . Your body is no longer growing taller. Worth a try8
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Why not cook 4 and have two each? Just cut back a little on something else later in the day that your son won't notice as much. One extra sausage won't break the bank.0
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sindirella21 wrote: »A serving size is 3. My kid looks at it like if I make 4 we should each get two. He's very concerned about fairness, as most 6 yo's are.
Then make 2 and share. A serving size of 3 is for a full grown adult, not a 6 year old.3 -
shadowfax_c11 wrote: »Why not cook 4 and have two each? Just cut back a little on something else later in the day that your son won't notice as much. One extra sausage won't break the bank.
Because we are having a picnic today. He wanted pb&j. The bread costs me quite a few calories. Then he wants meatloaf for supper. Put it all together and I'm just under my calories for the day. I like to leave a little bit of calories for an after supper snack. Again, I could eat half a sandwich, but I don't want him growing up with the same body image issues I did.
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You could explain that you have different bodies. His is till growing taller and stronger and so it needs different food than yours . Your body is no longer growing taller. Worth a try
I do tell him these things. I just wish I didn't have to. It can be hard mostly because the eating plans at the two houses are so vastly different. I've been told by mutual friends that you are hard pressed to find something green in his dad's house. But here we eat lots of veg. I more wish that he was getting consistent role modeling for food.0 -
Don't know how many calories you are eating but the recommendation for a 6 year boy is 1200-1400 a day. Pretty much the lower end of what is recommended for an adult female. Unless you are Restricting to an unhealthy basis probably should be eating about the same amount
http://healthyeating.sfgate.com/nutrition-6yearold-kids-7597.html0 -
Packerjohn wrote: »Don't know how many calories you are eating but the recommendation for a 6 year boy is 1200-1400 a day. Pretty much the lower end of what is recommended for an adult female. Unless you are Restricting to an unhealthy basis probably should be eating about the same amount
http://healthyeating.sfgate.com/nutrition-6yearold-kids-7597.html
Hmmm. I'm at 1200. He definitely eats more than 1400. I try to make sure what's going in is all healthy stuff but he's always hungry. He's not overweight at all, but he's very tall for his age.
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I think your concern about protecting your child body image issues is noble OP but I can tell you that my 5 and 7 year old kids are totally oblivious to what I'm eating compared to them. If anything, they keep their eyes on their plates so they can avoid me trying to push salad and vegetables they don't care for onto theirs..
If he does inquire tell him that grown ups and children sometimes eat different types of food and drink (coffee and alcohol can be good examples if pressed) and different amounts based on different body needs.
I wouldn't sweat it too much. They have such short attention spans at that age he will have forgotten it in minutes...2 -
Talk about having everything the same is not really equal or fair if it ignores a person's needs or preferences.Talk about how different people of different sizes need different amounts of food and have different appetite levels.
As a 6 year old child he probably couldn't and should't eat the same portion of food that a grown man does. That is why there are kid's meals with smaller portions at every restaurant for example.
Talk about what you each want to eat and how it is okay to be different. Maybe there are some foods you love and eat larger portions of but he would like less. Maybe you aren't very hungry and eating to much would make you feel too stuffed. If you all ate exactly the same someone wouldn't be very happy.
The serving size on the package is for an adult. http://buildhealthykids.com/servingsizes.html That site suggests 1-3 oz as an appropriate young child size portion of meat so 1-2 sausages would probably be okay.1 -
You also point out that it's ok to eat a little more of your favorites. Sausage is his favorite, literally, it's what he takes to school for their thanksgiving celebrations since he was 2. I will continue to give him 3. I'm not worried about his nutritional intake. I am more concerned about him thinking about what I'm eating. He asks questions. I answer as best I can, but I'm also faced with dealing with "well at my dads house..." It can be frustrating.1
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I think it's good for kids to know that everything has consequences whether it be good or bad. The consequence for not eating a healthy amount of calories for your body caused you to get to an unhealthy weight and you are eating less now to get back to a healthy weight so you can be a strong and healthy mommy for him. Eating a healthy amount of calories and exercising = healthy mommy! Maybe you could eat at maintenance for your desired weight so it's less of a restriction or exercise more so you can eat more and don't feel like your small amount of food is strange. Y'all could find an exercise you like to do together:)0
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tiffanifair wrote: »I think it's good for kids to know that everything has consequences whether it be good or bad. The consequence for not eating a healthy amount of calories for your body caused you to get to an unhealthy weight and you are eating less now to get back to a healthy weight so you can be a strong and healthy mommy for him. Eating a healthy amount of calories and exercising = healthy mommy! Maybe you could eat at maintenance for your desired weight so it's less of a restriction or exercise more so you can eat more and don't feel like your small amount of food is strange. Y'all could find an exercise you like to do together:)
The thing is that, compared to his dad, I'm very healthy. In fact, I'm not even considered overweight. I'm trying to drop a few extra lbs right now to fit into a stupid dress for a wedding in 4 weeks, so eating at maintenance is not currently an option. I don't like telling him I'm on a diet, because all things considered, I don't need to be. We are already super active. Again, not even remotely concerned about his physical well being.0 -
Tell him that fair is not always 2/2. All you want is the one sausage so it isn't as if you want another but can't.
PS I think thats so sweet that he wants to be fair.2 -
You don't have to eat the same thing he does though... especially for breakfast. Nobody's ever eaten the same thing for breakfast in my house.
I'm a bit confused I guess. All kids are different for sure but my kids are 8 and they couldn't care less if I eat what they're eating or not... especially for a picnic (and you couldn't pay me to eat a PB&J, so many calories for something that will fill me up for an hour if I'm lucky).
For dinner, I'd find a lower calorie meatloaf recipe (Skinnytaste is great) and just make that with some veggies. But again, unless we're having leftovers, I don't ask my kids what they want for dinner because I'm not eating pasta or chicken nuggets every night... and if we're just having leftovers anyway, we're all eating different things. Never been an issue.
I think you're just overreacting, frankly. He's 6. Just tell him you only want one. I don't see the big deal.2 -
He just asks a lot of questions if things aren't fair. He wants us to do a lot of the same things. He's a mommys boy to be fair. My meatloaf recipe is actually really healthy. Full of veggies. Half the meat. I wish I could say he doesn't care, but the impression he gives me is that he does care.1
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sindirella21 wrote: »shadowfax_c11 wrote: »Why not cook 4 and have two each? Just cut back a little on something else later in the day that your son won't notice as much. One extra sausage won't break the bank.
Because we are having a picnic today. He wanted pb&j. The bread costs me quite a few calories. Then he wants meatloaf for supper. Put it all together and I'm just under my calories for the day. I like to leave a little bit of calories for an after supper snack. Again, I could eat half a sandwich, but I don't want him growing up with the same body image issues I did.
I don't know what your body issues are, but just explain to him (six year-olds are pretty savvy) that not everyone eats the same amount. Some people need more food and some need less. My guess is he's learning more detrimental body issues from watching your morbidly obese husband.
I second Packerjohn's assertion that three sausages is a serving size for an adult, not a six year-old child. Feeding him an adult size portion is more harmful to him than watching you eat only 1 sausage, imho.0 -
You could explain that you have different bodies. His is till growing taller and stronger and so it needs different food than yours . Your body is no longer growing taller. Worth a try
This is the best answer IMHO. Tell him it IS fair because that is all momma wants. Don't feel bad about explaining that to your son because he just wants to know, ya know? You are his moon and stars at this age. I think the only thing that might be detrimental is if you tell him something like "I only eat this much cause mommy is a cow" or something along those lines... LOL
*I am not saying you are a cow BTW0 -
Just tell him that he needs to grow so he gets three. You already finished growing so you only need one. He'll understand then.1
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You don't have to eat the same thing he does though... especially for breakfast. Nobody's ever eaten the same thing for breakfast in my house.
I'm a bit confused I guess. All kids are different for sure but my kids are 8 and they couldn't care less if I eat what they're eating or not... especially for a picnic (and you couldn't pay me to eat a PB&J, so many calories for something that will fill me up for an hour if I'm lucky).
For dinner, I'd find a lower calorie meatloaf recipe (Skinnytaste is great) and just make that with some veggies. But again, unless we're having leftovers, I don't ask my kids what they want for dinner because I'm not eating pasta or chicken nuggets every night... and if we're just having leftovers anyway, we're all eating different things. Never been an issue.
I think you're just overreacting, frankly. He's 6. Just tell him you only want one. I don't see the big deal.
Really all of this. As much as people emphasize that kids should eat what adults eat I think that is often unrealistic. My kids eat a variety of foods but they don't always eat the same things as us and vice verse. Same with the amounts.
I just can't imagine a time when my kids would have that much awareness of what's on someone else's plate unless it would be fighting about the brownie size amongst themselves.
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I'd say just be honest with him. Children are very understanding but also very curious.
If it is too much of an issue, you may need to simply sit a meal out and just tell him mommy already ate. So instead of you eating less for all 3 meals, you eat the same for 2 and you simply don't have meal 3.
Depending on his maturity level, you could simply show him the dress and tell him you want to fit in it.0 -
Wickedfaery73 wrote: »You could explain that you have different bodies. His is till growing taller and stronger and so it needs different food than yours . Your body is no longer growing taller. Worth a try
This is the best answer IMHO. Tell him it IS fair because that is all momma wants. Don't feel bad about explaining that to your son because he just wants to know, ya know? You are his moon and stars at this age. I think the only thing that might be detrimental is if you tell him something like "I only eat this much cause mommy is a cow" or something along those lines... LOL
*I am not saying you are a cow BTW
Yep. My daughter is 8 and when she was really young she would play with a doll family "going to McDonald's". She said that daddies get a burger with fries, the kid gets the happy meal, and mommy gets a coffee. I was kind of upset, but said nothing. It's all true.
At this point she knows that certain foods don't agree with me and/or I don't really like them. She's okay! We rarely eat the same meals. For breakfast she likes turkey sausages and eggs. I like eggs and veggies. Her dinner is usually earlier than mine and sometimes I don't even eat - I just sit with her while she does before she has whatever activity of the night.
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