Sabotagers!

jyjin
jyjin Posts: 3
edited September 29 in Motivation and Support
After a rather gluttonous weekend, I have decided to take a break from baked goods and most sweets.

I know that if I completely deprive myself of all sugars, I'll go crazy and end up with an empty bag of kit kats next to my bed, so I'm going to allow myself plentiful fruits and the daily square of dark chocolate.

Cookies, cupcakes, the like, however, will be banned momentarily. I can't seem to control myself around them. Case in point: I ate 3.5 cupcakes in one sitting this weekend :(

Anyway, I told my roommate about my new goal and she told me that "I just need to grow a stomach for sweets." Please keep in mind that this same roommate is a toothpick and doesn't know what weight gain is. She also joked that she would be baking cupcakes today and asked what I would do. I know that she's just kidding(??), but it still kinda bothers me that she's being so insensitive.

Ladies, do you have similar stories or situations? Sabotagers or someone close to you that seems to want you to fail in your quest for healthy living? It's rather disheartening.

Replies

  • bunchesonothing
    bunchesonothing Posts: 1,015 Member
    I don't think she wants you to fail. I do think she is making light of it because she doesn't understand.
  • Epolstyle80
    Epolstyle80 Posts: 13 Member
    Yes, I am in a similar situation. My co workeers are lovely, but pick on me all the time about food. THey order out a alot or have food days at least once a week. They are getting better about it, but still they have a habit of "April you know you want one...".... I just graciously refuse, but inside im like. DAMN IT!
  • EDesq
    EDesq Posts: 1,527 Member
    Maybe she is right. Why do everybody else have to CHANGE for US? If she was a "cook" and ate sweets before YOU decided to get your Bad eating habits under control, why should she change. Why don't YOU come up with Ideas for when you are around people who want to "Live Their Lives" as they please (which may include eating sweets or things that You put out of bounds for yourself.) Find ways of avoiding the problem, like going out to the library or for a walk, or late night date at the gym... Get creative, other people have a RIGHT to Do their thing, just like You made Your decision around food. People with food "addictions" have to begin to "act" like other addicts (and learn to avoid too tempting situations, places and people, and start hanging around "like minded" people. This "food" thing will kill or disable you just as surely as drugs/alcohol... We basically sabotage Ourselves!

    You know what I have found, if I don't talk about My restrictions and bring it up all the time, people tend to ignore it. "WE" fatties usually are always talking about doing this or can't eat that or I feel so much better, ya da ya da ya dah...People get SICK of Our whining and needing so much "support". Heck, if we want this, then We need to Do It!
  • bunchesonothing
    bunchesonothing Posts: 1,015 Member
    Maybe she is right. Why do everybody else have to CHANGE for US? If she was a "cook" and ate sweets before YOU decided to get your Bad eating habits under control, why should she change. Why don't YOU come up with Ideas for when you are around people who want to "Live Their Lives" as they please (which may include eating sweets or things that You put out of bounds for yourself.) Find ways of avoiding the problem, like going out to the library or for a walk, or late night date at the gym... Get creative, other people have a RIGHT to Do their thing, just like You made Your decision around food. People with food "addictions" have to begin to "act" like other addicts (and learn to avoid too tempting situations, places and people, and start hanging around "like minded" people. This "food" thing will kill or disable you just as surely as drugs/alcohol... We basically sabotage Ourselves!

    You know what I have found, if I don't talk about My restrictions and bring it up all the time, people tend to ignore it. "WE" fatties usually are always talking about doing this or can't eat that or I feel so much better, ya da ya da ya dah...People get SICK of Our whining and needing so much "support". Heck, if we want this, then We need to Do It!

    Well spoken. Except for the fatties part. Some non fatties are restricting themselves as well for health.
  • Soozcat
    Soozcat Posts: 34 Member
    I don't know about this. Imagine someone who is dealing with the fact that she's an alcoholic and is trying to leave drinking cold turkey, hanging around friends who are insensitive enough to suggest that she go out bar-hopping with them on the weekends. That's pretty clear-cut -- if you're sick and you have friends who don't support your desire to get well, you need to choose better friends.

    It's not so clear-cut when it comes to food. You can't stop eating cold turkey the way you can give up alcohol. But I think the same rule applies. If you have friends who don't support your desire to be healthy and lose weight, and they're constantly teasing you with food you know isn't good for you or making mean comments about your willpower, you might want to take a serious look at their level of influence in your life and find ways to minimize that influence.

    This is the way I've had to think about it. I'm a recently-diagnosed Type 2 diabetic. I can't afford to put up with people who think it's funny to tempt me with cookies or pasta or other high-carb treats that, if I give in and eat them regularly, will contribute to fun things like nerve damage, kidney damage, blindness, amputation and heart attacks. I'm learning to be gracious about other people's effortless ability to metabolize high-carbohydrate foods without damage to their bodies; they are fortunate people. Unfortunately I've got a broken pancreas, so I can't follow suit. People who can't or won't understand this basic truth about my health and well being are going to get downsized as friends, because frankly they don't have my best interests at heart -- and isn't the basic definition of a friend someone who wants the best for you?
  • bunchesonothing
    bunchesonothing Posts: 1,015 Member
    I don't know about this. Imagine someone who is dealing with the fact that she's an alcoholic and is trying to leave drinking cold turkey, hanging around friends who are insensitive enough to suggest that she go out bar-hopping with them on the weekends. That's pretty clear-cut -- if you're sick and you have friends who don't support your desire to get well, you need to choose better friends.

    It's not so clear-cut when it comes to food. You can't stop eating cold turkey the way you can give up alcohol. But I think the same rule applies. If you have friends who don't support your desire to be healthy and lose weight, and they're constantly teasing you with food you know isn't good for you or making mean comments about your willpower, you might want to take a serious look at their level of influence in your life and find ways to minimize that influence.

    This is the way I've had to think about it. I'm a recently-diagnosed Type 2 diabetic. I can't afford to put up with people who think it's funny to tempt me with cookies or pasta or other high-carb treats that, if I give in and eat them regularly, will contribute to fun things like nerve damage, kidney damage, blindness, amputation and heart attacks. I'm learning to be gracious about other people's effortless ability to metabolize high-carbohydrate foods without damage to their bodies; they are fortunate people. Unfortunately I've got a broken pancreas, so I can't follow suit. People who can't or won't understand this basic truth about my health and well being are going to get downsized as friends, because frankly they don't have my best interests at heart -- and isn't the basic definition of a friend someone who wants the best for you?

    You have the power to say no despite the teasing. It's hard, but you really just can't avoid every sort of temptation with food. Beyond that, if you really addressed it to the person as, "I am really trying to do something about my weight and it makes me feel like you don't care about my health when you do these things," how many people would seriously still continue? And then say, "You can continue to tease, but despite whatever your intention is, this is how it makes me feel and I want you to know that the answer is going to always be 'No.'" They would have to be a jerk to continue. However, if you do, in fact just call someone a sabotager, and/or, expect people's behavior to change for you, don't expect good results.

    EDIT: When my husband was doing this alone, he didn't expect me to change my eating habits or ask me to not bring certain foods in the house. In fact, he doesn't deny himself any specific treat. He limits his intake of the treats. It's hard, but you are the only one that can conger up the strength to make yourself do it. If you can't, food will always be an issue for you.
  • Soozcat
    Soozcat Posts: 34 Member
    You have the power to say no despite the teasing.

    I don't disagree with this. We all have the power to say no. I recently attended a family reunion and had to be very selective about the things I ate; my choices were relatively limited, but they were sufficient and it was fine. Several people, not knowing my situation, came up to me and politely offered me dessert, which I just as politely turned down each time. I don't consider that to be teasing, merely ignorance -- after all, they didn't know I was diabetic and that making wise food choices is no longer just a question of aesthetics, but will determine the length of my lifespan. However, I don't believe we need be forced to live with constant and consistent teasing from people with whom we voluntarily choose to associate. If I've made it clear to others what I'm trying to do and why, and they continue to try to tempt me with food and with peer pressure despite this knowledge, my personal decision will be to say no not only to the food, but also to close personal relationships with people who are trying to derail me from my goal. Sorry if that sounds harsh.
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