For the Girls : Abnormal Pap Smears, Anxiety, and Exercise

(((hugs)))

I'm so sorry that this is happening to you! I can't even imagine how scared I would be.

...That being said, you know that you WILL feel better about everything if you get up and exercise, and at least make healthy-ish food choices even if you don't track anything.

Good luck with everything, you are in my thoughts!!!

I see we have the same starting weight, current weight and goal weight!
I have struggled with anxiety during different difficult physical times in my life, and found that I lost alot of weight b/c I was so anxious and not eating much. At this point, I wouldn't stress too much about trying to lose, but focus on eating as healthy as you can for your bodie's sake, enjoy your current family and friend relationships and try to take it one day at a time until you know for
sure what's going on. It is very hard to not worry but remember that God knows what is best for us and will help us through.
Try to get some sleep and walking and other exercise is actually pretty cathartic. Hang in there!

I had cysts found on my ovaries several years ago. I ahd to ahve surgery to get them removed and the dr. took the ovary as the cyst was so large, it was unsafe to remove on its own. I had to deal with the "it could be cancerous" idea as well. It was stressful. No one understood and kept saying "don't worry about it. You can't do anything about it" comments. Made me crazy! Why couldn't I feel sorry for myself, scared, angry,.... I felt exactly as you do now. Why bother with anything. I just got hold of my daughter and wouldn't let go. We played more than usual, talked, sang songs,... spent time together.
Finally the surgery came in and luckily it was benign.
Give yourself a break, feel what you need to feel, talk to someone you feel comfortable with about it, and know that being scared is perfectly acceptable. Next time someone asks, tell them how you really feel. Either they will listen or not ask again!!!!
I will keep you in my thoughts. Hang in there. An answer will come, one way or the other. {{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}

First, breathe. Don't stress over what you can't control. You can't control the test results. They may be fine, they may not be, but wait for them. I recently read a quote (wish I could remember where now) "worrying about tomorrow only makes today miserable" (or something to that effect).

While 7 pounds may not make a huge difference, the route you take to get there will. You are building muscle, losing fat, and overall just becoming healthier - and that will make all the difference in the world. Whatever is will be, but you can work towards the future and make that better.

I have had an abnormal pap, had the biopsy, then a LEEP procedure. I can't tell you how my abnormal pap compares to yours as I just don't know. That was 10 years ago and I've had nothing else come back as anything but normal. It can happen. I know that you can also get bad news, but as I said above - worrying about that will not help today.

Hugs to you. I know its scary and just not fun. Try to relax and enjoy the here and now. :flowerforyou:

I had the same thing happen. Except mine were lower grade, I think. It's been 4 years ago so I don't remember exactly. I had two abnormal paps, 2 colposcopies, and 2 biopsies. They ended up doing a LEEP and removed part of my cervix. I haven't had any problems since. They removed all the bad cells and my paps have been normal ever since. I know it's scary, but as long as they get them, you SHOULD be fine. Everyone is different so I don't want to be one of those people saying everything will be just perfect because, of course, we're not doctors and don't know for sure, but try not to stress TOO much about it. I know that is super hard. Now I have 3 small fibroids (benign uterine tumors) and they are supposedly a non-issue as well. Supposedly a lot of women have them and don't know because they don't cause problems unless they get really large. The female reproductive system can be quite complicated sometimes!! :-/ I've read articles that it's becoming more of a problem because of all the estrogen in non-organic foods, soy products, etc.

Keep your chin up, stay healthy, and try to have faith in the doctors and, if you're a religious person, pray about it. We'll be thinking about you.

About five years ago, I had an abnormal pap test! I had a biopsy done, because the growths were severe and that type of cancer runs in my family. (My mother had it!) My biopsy came back that I had Pre cancer cells. I was so stressed that my stomach hurt for what felt like every second of everyday! And it was a few months before my wedding, and we were planning on having baby right away! I scheduled to have the pre cancer cells cut out in the beginning of September, (My wedding was in October) I had the choice of doing it awake or getting put to sleep, I opted to stay awake. (I recommend going to sleep!) I was up and running two days later! and was fine for my wedding! This October, I will be married for five years, and I hadn't had another abnormal pap, since. We also have a beautiful three year old girl! ( we did get pregnant right away, but I had a miscarriage, which had nothing to do with the surgery, just genetics!) We conceived her in March of 2007! She was born exactly on her due date, was a healthy 8lbs 1 oz, and we didn't have any issues! SO I would try to worry as little as possible! And as far as your seven pounds go, you are right it is only seven pounds, So seven pounds you might as well keep going! And if you stop watching a little, that could be seven pounds gained, beside it could give you something else to focus on! And don't forget the power of prayer. It helps me to ask God to control my thoughts, or to help me focus on something other than what is stressing me out!
I wish you the best of luck, and you'll be in my prayers! Hope I helped

Big hugs!!

I also had the abnormal pap/biopsy/LEEP in 2004. Mine was classified as the very beginning of cancer...not enough to be Stage 1 and all in one area. LEEPS are not glamorous by any means but it did get the job done. My tests have come back clear ever since. I also had two more kids after this wih the help of a cerclage (cervical stitch) even though I had an incompetent cervix to begin with and my dr. said I have the world's smallest cervix now. (Yeah...something is the smallest!! Gotta find the humor where you can.)

It's hard not to worry. Hang in there.

I'm so sorry you're going through so much right now. When our health is affected, especially when we get scary test results, it's so hard to concentrate on anything else. My daughter went through the abnormal pap and she felt the same way you do. She got depressed, started eating a lot and withdrew from everyone. I kept going over to her house and made a BIG pest of myself. She has a hard time with depression anyway so this made it worse.

My biggest piece of advice I would give you to right now is to not withdraw from others. Talk to your family and friends. Go to a counselor if you need too. Don't let yourself get so depressed that you can't function (I know easier said than done). Drinking only worsens the depression so I would stop that as soon as possible.

I applaud you for continuing the cardio. When we exercise it helps with depression. Sometimes it can be hard to get up and do anything when we feel so bad inside. I know this sounds simplistic, but just make yourself go to the gym for your strength training. I tend to have a friend that I make an appointment with to go to the gym. That way I can't get out of it. I jump starts me again. (I suffer from depression also). Rely on others to help you through right now.

I don't know if you pray or not, but that helps me more than any of the other things I mentioned. God is a mighty force in my life and He has gotten me through so many things. Just let him know how you feel and what you're going through (He already knows) . Ask Him to help you. I also journal and write my feelings down. It really does help to get those thoughts out on paper. It's also a way to see how far you've come on your journey when you read them late.

I'll be praying for you. Take care of you and let others help. If you want to add me as a friend, I would love that.

I did go through this--twice. But who knows if our situations are alike? I had six months of increasingly bad pap results (and no insurance!), when Planned Parenthood finally referred me to a specialist. He did a miserable "bit" biopsy where he sawed out 12 chunks of cervix (with no local--he didn't believe in it). The results came back negative. WTF, right? Normal paps after that for six years, then suddenly WHAM, abnormal again. And I still had no insurance. So my then boyfriend (now husband) proposed in order to get me insurance (he said he'd been wanting to for a long time, but feared I'd refuse). More biopsies, and again, nothing.

I have had a number of friends go through cervical cancer, many of them a decade or more ago, and every last one of them is fine now. You're going to be, too. Cervical cancer, if that is what's going on, is usually very treatable. I'm not going to tell you to stay positive all the time--sometimes a good cry is as good as positive thinking, if not better. But try to remember that you're young, strong, and you're on top of this thing, whatever it may be.

Thinking of you,

Kris

As a bladder cancer survivor, I can speak to your situation. Let me first say how sorry I am that you are going through this and I pray your results come back clear. For most people, the mere thought of having cancer is terrifying and can consume all your thoughts so it is no surprise that your focus has waned.
In a way, my cancer diagnosis is kind of the reason I’m here now fighting for my life in another way. When I had the reoccurrence in ’06, the fear, treatments and surgeries were very traumatic for me, so to deal with the stress I ate and drank anything and everything I wanted. I convinced myself that I had the right to do this because after all, I was using all my energy to fight the monster in my body.
Long story short, I haven’t had a tumor in over a year, Praise God! However, the 50 or so pounds I’ve gained since over the last few years added to my problems by increasing the depression, inducing hypertension and made me a borderline diabetic. Now I’m trying to undo the damage.
You are so close to your goal weight that I think it would be okay to give yourself a break to allow yourself to fight the battle if your results are not favorable, just don’t use the disease (like I did) to neglect taking care of yourself. Good luck dear, please let us know how things go.

So the results came back that I have moderate dysplasia, stage 2 that's considered high grade. My doctor wants to perform a LEEP to remove the part of my cervix that it's on, and also be able to run tests on the removed section for any deeper cells that may exist.

Reading online, I'm not really sure how comfortable I feel with a LEEP. There is a change with stage 2 that it'll clear up on its own, but a good chance it'll spread as well.

What are your concerns about the LEEP?

I was awake for mine. You can smell the burning smell. That's not really a huge deal....an annoyance similar to hearing a dentist drilling in your mouth. I had similar concerns about future pregnancies because I already had a preemie when I had my LEEP. I went to a specialist to have mine done specifically because of this. He removed the absolute minimum he could. Still with barely any cervix left to stitch, I had two perfectly full term babies after.

I guess you have to ask yourself which concerns you more...potentially having cancer issues since I think I remember you saying you have a family history of it or potential pregnancy problems. With so much cancer in my family AND a preemie history I still opted for the LEEP because if I was sick with cancer, there weren't going to be any babies to worry about.