Life...

rsenor · May 2016

I'd been doing awesome for 2 months and then! I got let go from my job unexpectedly last week. I'm very grateful that I have a financial cushion but the blow to my self-esteem has been significantly more than I expected. I thought I could "handle" situations like this succesfully and not fall into bad habits, but I've spent the last week eating and drinking way more than I should, wallowing in self-pity, sleeping too much, and generally feeling like a total loser and feeling paralyzed about moving forward. I'm having difficulty crawling out of this "hole" so to speak.

Any sage advice?

katie22mfp · May 2016

Get on the scales and start again

teamvic · May 2016

Sorry to hear about your situation. Just acknowledging you have been eating/drinking a bit out of control I guess is a great first step. When ever I get in a bad place I do a mini plan, some small steps to get me back on track. And speak to friends always seemed to help me. There is some top people on here who wil probably give you better advice, but for me its keep things simple to begin with, small wins build up. Good luck with new job search and any new goals for diet and fitness.

kommodevaran · May 2016

That really sucks. But if this gives you more time available for a while, maybe you can use some of it to cook more from scratch? Look for recipes for foods you like but never have prepared before, and learn new skills.

MadDogManor · May 2016

Know you are not alone. Same exact thing happened to my hubs last week. Out of the blue, and right after he had a total knee replacement , too - he's not even cleared from the doctor yet. He's lost his appetite, tho, and I'm trying to keep him from being really very depressed. With his limited mobility, it's hard on him. I just made it through my 90 day probation period at a new job, thank God, so it's not as horrible as it could be (yet). Good luck with the job search!

rosieandroo · May 2016

I'm really sorry about your job. It's great that you're being honest with your self (I have a habit of going into denial about my bad habits). My advice would be to be kind to yourself. What's happened to you sucks, and anyone would struggle to cope. You, like so many of us, are probably using over indulgence as a coping mechanism, and finding it hard to escape.

Remember to treat yourself well, and take it one small step at a time. You decide not to eat a half a bag of Doritos at 1am? Well done! You go out for a brisk walk instead of continuing a Netflix marathon? Awesome! (I use these example because these are my bad habits)

Bit by bit you.can get back to where you were before. You deserve health and happiness, don't let the negative voices in you convince you otherwise. Treat yourself as you would treat a good friend. With understanding and patience.

I get that it's a lot to take on at once, and when you're feeling bad about yourself, but just remember to start with the small stuff and celebrate little successes. You'll move forward again in time. Hope you start feeling more positive soon

Machka9 · May 2016

Life does that sometimes ... unfortunately.

One idea might be to take out some of the anger and frustration and other emotions you're feeling through exercise. If you're a gym member, get down there every day and put in a good workout. If you don't have a gym membership ... walk, run, cycle, jog up and down stairs ...

And in a week or so, start thinking about the possibility of further education, retraining, and that sort of thing.

distinctlybeautiful · May 2016

I don't want to pry, but I wonder why they let you go. The reason I say that is because I'm wondering if you're taking it more personally than it is. I don't, by any means, intend to be offensive with that suggestion or to imply that you take things too personally! Obviously I don't know you, so I wouldn't presume that

I just know that when something bad happens it can be easy to get into some flawed thinking, which can make it difficult to overcome whatever happened. Just something to consider. I also love what @rosieandroo said about taking small steps and taking credit for even small victories! The last thing I'll suggest is to set a tiny goal that you know you'll meet, whether it's walking around the block once a day or even doing one sit up every morning! Sounds ridiculous, but momentum is a wonderful thing, and once you have some success under your belt again, it may get you going!

LuvtheCubs · May 2016

You can't control what happened with your job. But you can control how you manage your health. Don't give into the chaos. Take control over the things you can manage. Diet and exercise are yours to control.

rsenor · May 2016

Thank you everyone! These are all really great things to hear. I am probably taking this way too personally. I realize how much of my self-esteem I hung on my job and being good at it, and getting appreciation from it. What I realize is that I have to find these things in myself; not outside myself. Taking small steps toward personal victory- as small as they might be- will help me get back on track. I have been cooking more from scratch! And now I have lots of time to work out. I think the serenity prayer is useful at a time like this

upoffthemat · May 2016

I totally know where you are coming from.

Make finding a new job and keeping yourself sane your job for now. I do at least 4 hours a day of job search activities every day AND I make sure I have 2 hours for myself, taking walks, doing exercise, cleaning house.

I get up, get dressed and kind of punch the clock. Kind of nice to have a nice walk with the dog be part of my temporary job description... also have deliberately taken time just to sit and read a book and relax.

Some days I still have some issues getting up, but by setting myself tasks each day and making some of those tasks dedicated to bettering myself it has made this more manageable.

navdeeprana · May 2016

Everytime I fail ..I just learn something new ...most imoortant thing is never ever ever give uo, if we cannot handle failure we can't succed. You can do anything you want ..cheer up

dutchandkiwi · May 2016

That is hard and it really sucks. And you know what your are perfectly right in wallowing in self pity for a while, because it is such a biggie. However, the biggest achievement is that you come here for advice to crawl out again. You are trying to get back on your feet and that is what this place is for.

So it is hard to get back up, but you have takend the first step. You know how good it will make you feel again to take at least part of the control in your life back. So go and get that control again. You can do it and the rest of your life will follow.

DM01234 · May 2016

It's okay to grieve.. for a short period of time. Work is a big part of life and losing anything will recover some time to heal.

I've been there a couple times and I'd be willing to be there are more to come seeing I have at least 20 more years left to work. Hate to say it, but almost used to it.

Like has been stated - create a new norm for yourself. Use this as an opportunity to take advantage of time to take extra care of yourself while exploring new job opportunities. Fine tune all your skills needed for job searching and for the interview. The job search process along can take 4-5 hours a day.

May sound stupid but go find books related to job searching and read them. Library probably has several to select from. From those, you may find a ton of new ideas and tips. I've personally have gained a lot of mileage from the handful of books within the "Dummies" series related to the topic.

You can do this. In the end - you have to. No choice. The question you need to ask yourself is how do you want to come out on the other end of the situation?

Life...

Replies

Categories