Anyone else feel ALONE in their weight loss journey?

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Atarahh
Atarahh Posts: 485 Member
in Motivation and Support
I don't care how many electronic "friends" one has on MFP, how many people compliment you on your loss, or motivate and encourage you. This is still a lonely journey. No one else can lose the weight for you.

As a single, I find it tough with weight loss. Every now and then I may have a man at the gym or someone out in passing approach me, but because I have lost the weight, I tend to feel like "well would this person have looked my way 20 months ago? It is tough. Sometimes you wonder are people drawn to you because you've lost weight or for who you are. I notice how some people have treated me differently once they noticed the change with me. Weight discrimination is real. I look back on my old photos, and I was beautiful then. I definitely feel happier than I used to, more pleasant and encouraged. I hear things like "Oh the men will be lining up at your door when you meet your goal." They will be waiting in line forever because I want someone who loves and appreciates me for who I am. I believe I have found that person. I look forward to settling down someday. It is definitely a blessing to have someone to come home to who is your personal cheerleader.

I had a moment this evening. I'm just kind of tired. I have lost 125 lbs and I still have 77 to go. It is tiresome. All my foods that I eat in my diet are starting to run together. Food is simply calories to me now. I used to really enjoy things. I deny myself a lot and while it may appear that I am strong and determined, on the inside I am sad and depressed to have to restrict so much especially when everyone else around me eats whatever they want. I even feel somewhat of grief when people approach me to compliment or ask about my journey. Was I INVISIBLE two years ago?! Even the compliments become mundane. Yeah I lost weight but I don't want to be approached about it all the time! I tend to always downplay it so that I won't put myself on a pedestal. For example I will say, "Oh I am nowhere near done." Notice me for something else.

I just need to take a deep breath. I know I am not the only one with these thoughts.

So frustrated, but won't throw in towel. I've come too far to quit. In the end this whole thing will teach me a lot.

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Replies

  • darkchocolate_78
    darkchocolate_78 Posts: 15
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    I agree with what you are saying. Having people to cheer you on is just a plus to me. This journey that we are all on is going I always be just you unless you are married or have friends who are over weight and they are actually going through it with you but unless you have that than yes we are on our own! You've came this far so you can keep on going. You are strong and determined because of you wasn't then you would have not accomplished losing 125 pounds. It's a downer from time to time but you will look up in months down the line and see that you've reache your goal. And I know it can be a bother to have to be so limited to certain foods and counting the calories all day everyday but it's gonna be worth it in the end. The food limitations don't bother me, I'm used to it and I love it and even when I'm done I will continue on this path of healthy organic and natural eating. But what bothers me is the price! But I'm finding ways around that too. Your body has adjusted to your new eating habits and even when you try and eat something unhealthy your body will not be able to tolerate it. That's th good thig about estig right for a long period of time, you'll never wanna turn from it. I haven't eaten beef nor pork in over 14 years now and I don't want it nor do I miss it. So keep your head up and keep going! Yahweh bless!!
  • Ericababydoll
    Ericababydoll Posts: 1
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    I understand 2 yrs ago I was a size 24 and lost weight and went to a size 16 but then winter started and I became a little sad and slowly I'm becoming a size 20 I try to exercise but I feel tried from work and become sad and food is like comfort. But I realize I'm not really happy so I have to push myself to keep the bigger picture in mind
  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
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    I'm a single guy and I do agree, it gets lonely. I would love to go out and walk WITH somebody or maybe play tennis or something but then I remember the reasons for choosing to be alone and those feelings go away.

    But I am dating somebody and she's pretty cool, but her and I rarely do any physical activity together (outside the ... ya know) and I would keep it like that mostly because I don't want it turning into a relationship which it might if I start working out with her

    PS. Awesome job on the weight loss!! You're a Rockstar!!!
  • JourneyOfaVirgo
    JourneyOfaVirgo Posts: 44 Member
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    i certainly see where u are coming from. i mean i jus started my journey a week ago and it seems like my family are not very supportive. they offer me cookies and cakes and sodas, even tho i keep telling them im trying to eat healthy to loose weight. its getting frustrating. make me think they are tryna sabatage my journey or something.
  • Kari089
    Kari089 Posts: 126 Member
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    It's a tough situation to be in. When we start our weight loss journey there are so many reasons to chose from why we want to make the change. But this whole thing is about change..are we the same people fat or skinny. I personally don't think so. At least in my case.

    I am no where near my goal weight but I can tell you that making this change has also been a change in mind and spirit. I am happier, more outgoing, not as moody or depressed. Perhaps people are drawn to this now. My husband even pointed this out. He enjoys our time together more because I am finally doing something to help myself. I am positive, optimistic about the future and instead of wallowing in self pity I go out and do something-anything to get my body moving.

    Success is very attractive and you have shown that strength in you. Perhaps you feel the same inside as you always did..yet you said you are also happier and more encouraged. People with positive outlooks are very attractive too. So yeah maybe the initial compliment is about the weight loss but eventually I think it will be secondary.
  • cycleholic
    cycleholic Posts: 119 Member
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    You are never alone :flowerforyou:

    I would like to introduce you to some gym family. We've all been where you are and struggle daily. I've never met a more supportive group of people.

    I think that you are a changed person on the inside - even if you don't recognize it. You are stronger, more confident, more daring now that you have met your goals. People are attracted to that.

    You may have been invisible to some people 2 years ago. Now they see potential. People are also shallow so don't let that get to you.

    Feel better today.{{hugs}}
  • SweetPea482
    SweetPea482 Posts: 156 Member
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    i completely understand where you are coming from. the loss can be SO lonely mentally. I tire of being the only one motivated to go for a walk at night, or go grocery shopping, or eat healthy, or try new recipes. im married, and it isnt any easier.

    as far as 'why now'... i couldnt agree with KarinaHeld more. It is the mindset and the confidence you give off that makes people flock to you.

    I hope it gets better... Feel Free to add me as a friend... I have many single ladies in the groups i belong to that are SOO motivational, and LOVE new people. :D
  • nightsrainfall
    nightsrainfall Posts: 244 Member
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    I hear you and have felt the same way.
  • FiftywillbeFabulous
    FiftywillbeFabulous Posts: 4 Member
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    You are absolutely right - you WERE beautiful before the weight loss! Congrats to you, girl! I have the same problem concerning food - meal planning is like a second job sometimes, it's exhausting and not very pleasurable at all!

    My feeling of "aloneness" comes from being so excited about finally seeing results/getting good feedback from the Dr, etc, and talking about it with friends, family or coworkers (other than one friend who's my cheerleader - she ROCKS!) - only to get the very distinct vibe that they couldn't care less. Yes, I did this to my body, but wow, expecting people who care about me to be excited for me doesn't seem obtrusive to me - and it really hurts. This tries to add to my depression, but I'll be dawned if I'm gonna let it. I just throw on my anthem, Sexy Lady by Jessie J, and use it to fuel my determination! =) Keep up the great work, girl!
  • Iknewyouweretrouble
    Iknewyouweretrouble Posts: 561 Member
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    society sucks. I come from an area where 40 year olds look like 20 year olds and its aweful coming home and feeling like no one grew up into real women. the ooh and ahhs I got when super skinny read: unhealthy hurt. and of course the digs now that I'm not skinny don't feel good either. find people who don't care what you look like but love your heart and what you do in the world.
  • RiRi1588
    RiRi1588 Posts: 24 Member
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    I definitely have to agree with 'Iknewyouweretrouble' on this one...we live in a very superficial society, where everything is based off of looks. Very unfortunate but if you know you have more to offer than what meets the eye, that's all that matters. There's a Bob Marley quote I love "Don't gain the world and lose your soul, wisdom is better than silver or gold..."

    Weight loss is no easy task and look how far you've come! You're not alone in feeling this way...imagine having a male coworker watch everything you're eating at lunch / making slick remarks or getting backhanded compliments like "you're really pretty for a big girl or would be prettier with less weight" i feel you on this one :smile:

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