Getting rid of large clothes with an emotional attachment to them? (Kind of a sad post)
Dove0804
Posts: 213 Member
So I'm going to be moving in a couple of months and desperately need to go through my closet and start getting rid of / donating clothes that are too big or I don't need. Usually that's can be a pretty emotional endeavor on my own, but this is a little different for me and I'm not sure what to think / how to go about it.
So my sister passed away tragically a couple of years ago at age 30. She was my only sibling and I miss her terribly. While going through her house to sort through her things after it happened, I took a lot of her clothes because I was in need of a wardrobe that actually fit me at my heaviest weight, especially professional clothing. She had great quality clothing in all sizes and had excellent fashion taste, and I liked the idea of wearing things of hers all the time. Most of my wardrobe at my highest weight was from her, since I very rarely would buy things for myself.
The fact that I can't fit in those clothes anymore is really bittersweet. I'm happy to be losing weight, but I'm sad I can't wear them. I know that I can't reasonably keep all of it, but I'm just not sure how to let go.
Any ideas or encouragement would be greatly appreciated! I hope I didn't depress anyone too much.
So my sister passed away tragically a couple of years ago at age 30. She was my only sibling and I miss her terribly. While going through her house to sort through her things after it happened, I took a lot of her clothes because I was in need of a wardrobe that actually fit me at my heaviest weight, especially professional clothing. She had great quality clothing in all sizes and had excellent fashion taste, and I liked the idea of wearing things of hers all the time. Most of my wardrobe at my highest weight was from her, since I very rarely would buy things for myself.
The fact that I can't fit in those clothes anymore is really bittersweet. I'm happy to be losing weight, but I'm sad I can't wear them. I know that I can't reasonably keep all of it, but I'm just not sure how to let go.
Any ideas or encouragement would be greatly appreciated! I hope I didn't depress anyone too much.
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Replies
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If you're willing to, I've heard of people making quilts out of a loved ones clothes? This might not be the best advice but I know I wish I had some of my dads things so I could make something or have something.9
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Your story is touching. You will always have the wonderful memories of your sister. Perhaps you can keep a few cherished items of clothing and pass the rest on to someone who is in need. Giving to someone who is in need would be a beautiful way to honor your sister's memory.14
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I am sorry you lost your sister. That is sad.
Do you have a favorite? Is there a sweater that you can wear with leggings or a belt?
If it were me, I would keep your favorite and get rid of or donate the rest. Keep something to hang in the closet that reminds you of her. Try to feel good that someone will be grateful to find nice clothes in their size.
I think keeping bigger sizes is a mistake. Easy to let weight creep up. Even easier if you have bigger clothes readily available.
You should feel good about being smaller!2 -
erinbretzke1990 wrote: »If you're willing to, I've heard of people making quilts out of a loved ones clothes? This might not be the best advice but I know I wish I had some of my dads things so I could make something or have something.
I forgot about memory quilts. There are many options online for those. I think that's a great idea.2 -
Keep in mind that when you donate clothes, someone perhaps less fortunate will make good use of them.4
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You could donate her clothes to a woman's shelter, or a domestic violence shelter. Then she would be helping others in their time of need and you could find comfort in knowing someone else is benefitting from your sisters kindness. A memory quilt is a great idea too- but only if it will bring you joy when you see it. Your sister wouldn't want you to be sad every time you thought of her.4
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Are there any specific clothes that that you really love, and could get tailored? If you have a tailor nearby, it's one way of rescuing a few irreplaceable items. The higher the quality of the clothes, the easier it usually is to make adjustments, because the fabric is often far more workable (natural fabrics especially). I recently purged my wardrobe, but I've kept a too large pair of pure wool trousers, and an expensive dress, and will have them tailored when I lose the rest of the weight. For me, the cost of the tailoring makes much more sense that trying to replace those items with new. BTW, a good tailor will tell you if the clothes can be altered successfully - there's only so much they can do, and there are limitations to what will be successful!
Donating the rest, in her memory, is a gesture that would maybe help in several ways, and contribute to the important psychological process of letting go of too-big clothing. Don't underestimate how freeing it is to give away your large size clothes, even ones with sentimental value attached to them. I'm sure that you have other things of your sister's, that will help you remember her as time goes by.5 -
I'm sorry for the loss of your sister. I would suggest choosing a few pieces that you are particularly attached to and get those tailored.4
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I'm sorry for the loss of your sister. I would suggest choosing a few pieces that you are particularly attached to and get those tailored.
My advice as well. And donate the rest to a really, really good cause so you that you know it's a wonderful thing you have done. Dress For Success is a wonderful charity that provides clothing for job interviews and work to homeless and extremely poor women.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost a sibling too and know how painful this can be.2 -
I'm sorry for the loss of your sister. I would suggest choosing a few pieces that you are particularly attached to and get those tailored.
Dependant on how much bigger the clothes are to your current size, tailoring them is a really good idea.
I know what you mean about emotional attachment to clothes. I lost someone very close to me just under two months ago, and silly little things like clothes were the hardest things to get rid of because it's like removing that person from your life. If you can't tailor the clothes, why not pick a particular outfit that means the most to you and pop it in a memory box. Another idea is making something like a time capsule of all her memories and burying it in your garden...Someone suggested this to me, I couldn't do it because I live in a flat so have no garden, but I can understand why...it's like putting to her to rest and one day, someone may come across the capsule and will know someone special was once there.
Material items will fade/break in time, but your memories will never die. You don't need to keep her entire wardrobe to remember the love and warmth she brought to your life. Anything left, you could donate and you'd be helping someone else less fortunate than you.3 -
I'm sorry for your loss. Don't forget they're just clothes. If your sister was here I'm sure she'd say congrats on your weight loss, now donate my old clothes! You can't use them anymore, but someone out there sure can. Donate them so someone else can benefit from them.1
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OP you had great answers already so I only want to add that, sometimes we need to let go of our love ones possessions and just keep the sweet memories of their lives in our hearts and minds. Maybe this move and the decision of what to do with your sister's clothes is a way to get over or grief of two years.
Your sister's clothing "helped" you when you were heavier and needed business clothing to wear; now that you are thinner, the job is done. Your sister is resting in peace knowing that she was there for you when you needed her. Time for you to move on and let your sister help somebody else in need.
Very sorry for your loss
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erinbretzke1990 wrote: »If you're willing to, I've heard of people making quilts out of a loved ones clothes? This might not be the best advice but I know I wish I had some of my dads things so I could make something or have something.
This.1 -
A good suggestion The Minimalists make is to take pictures of your loved one's belongings. Here are two short articles. I hope they help.
http://www.theminimalists.com/sentimental/
http://www.theminimalists.com/dealing/2 -
Thanks so much everyone for your kind words and great suggestions! There are so many lovely people on MFP. I think some of the words helped just as much (if not more) than the ideas. I think I have a better direction of how I am going to approach this now. I'll consider the quilt idea, and keep some of the items that have more meaning to me, and absolutely donate the rest. The tailoring idea made me think that maybe I'll keep a dress or two and use the material for a new outfit when I lose a bit more weight- I know you can only take things in only so many sizes, and I like to sew so it would be a good project for me.
Thank you again everyone!4 -
Donate them to a women's shelter or a program for women leaving domestic violence-- they are usually in (dire) need of professional clothing for job interviews, etc.
Remember how happy your sister would be in your current success, and take her spirit with you for inspiration as you buy your future wardrobe!1 -
I cannot begin to imagine how difficult it must be to try to decide what to do with your sister's now too big clothes... I am so sorry for your loss, and my heart goes out to you I would offer to you this: The pieces of clothing are pieces of times past... I wonder what your sister would say to you regarding this? Would she want you to keep and wear the clothing, or would she want to see you excitedly smiling and rocking a new, fitting wardrobe? I love the suggestions others have made... donate the items with which you can part (your sister will make someone else smile gratefully!), and perhaps consider a memory quilt made from those articles which you want to keep. Your sister lives in your heart and memories, not in your closet I wish you light, love, & peace in the coming days as you make these hard decisions. 2
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I'm sorry you lost your sister. She would be proud of your weight loss success and tell you to give the clothes to someone who needs them.2
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What about taking some of your favorite pieces to a taylor and see if they can be taken in? Often times it is not very expensive. You get to keep your favorite ones, and they fit to boot!
Otherwise the quilt idea is great. My dad was a marathon runner and my mom had a quilt made out of all his marathon T-shirts for him.0
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