Walking Weapon

Hey,

So I'm really excited that MFP introduced a forum here! I'm an old hand at this as I've been trying to lose weight since I was about 12 years old (ridiculous, right) I've had quite a long and rough journey on the road to loving myself as I have a history with eating disorders, and now type 1 diabetes. After struggling horribly with self image as a young girl I managed to beat the depression and the unhealthy habits I had resorted to in order to be pretty and perfect, I had recovered almost entirely when I was diagnosed at the very late age of 17 with type one diabetes and I was thrown back into all the things I had avoided in order to recover. Suddenly I was being forced to examine every bit of food that went into my mouth and the counting of all the numbers (carbs, calories, blood sugars) sent me spiraling back into terrible habits that could now more than ever literally kill me.

I've been hospitalized twice, but not for over a year now and I'm determined to keep it that way. It's been a ginger balancing act of mental health and physical health for me, and while I don't want to give in to unhealthy ways of losing weight and risk losing my sight, my limbs and ultimately my life I still want to lose some. Not for the same reasons as when I was younger, not to be perfect or gain anyone's approval, but to be stronger and able to do the things I want.

Now I'm focusing on going to the gym more and finding ways to work out that I enjoy doing like kickboxing and swimming and climbing mountains. I want to get better and I want to get stronger so I can kick more butt and explore new places. Someday I'd like to hike the Pacific Coast Trail and the Appalachian Trail, and I won't let my illness (or my noodle arms) stop me.