Wife isnt supportive
Mikestruggle
Posts: 28 Member
in Chit-Chat
My wife seems to enjoy poking fun of my belly, yet when i go to the gym or try eating healthy she isnt encouraging at all. She seems to think she is perfect though, ugh! It would be nice to have someone doing it with me, she's not interested.
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Replies
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You have to get over the fact that she's not doing it with you, this is your thing. No matter what happens in life it will always be YOUR journey (ugh I that word, cheese fest).
But you should tell her that you don't like when she makes fun of your belly, that it's not okay and that it is something you are working on.6 -
Sorry you are going through this. It's important to keep going, not for her but for yourself. Maybe deep down she is afraid if you change too much, you won't want to be with her or you will find someone else so she is putting doubts in your head.3
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Join the club
Lately I've just been doing it no matter what she says
To be frank I don't care anymore, I will do what I want concerning fitness7 -
I completely understand. I have to do my own thing because husband isn't supportive. I try tell him of the accomplishments I've made and he brushes me off. Feel free to add me, a good support system does help too.2
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Divorce her.
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Come here for support if you need it. She doesn't have to have the same goals as you do for you to succeed. As long as she's not standing in your way, you can do it. My husband has zero interest in fitness or health. It's annoying because my favorite hobbies are all activity and outdoors related, and he doesn't like to break a sweat. It would be nice to share my hobbies with him, and I'm sure he feels the same about his hobbies. But he doesn't keep me from the gym, and knows better than to stock the freezer with a giant tub of my favorite ice cream. He eats what I cook and only complains until he tastes it.
Basically, I have enough internal motivation so as to not need him to motivate me.2 -
Ooh...I'd be tempted to poke fun at something to do with her in return. Probably a bad idea.
Keep going. When the belly is gone she will either drop it, maybe admit you've accomplished something, or find something else to poke at.
My spouse isn't interested in going to the gym or counting calories. And that's okay because I don't want to watch random YouTube videos or play XBox games.
Luckily our daughter is old enough to be a decent sidekick to go to fattening restaurants with when I won't. In the past 5 days or so he has been to the Wurst Bar, a cookie spot, a Thai restaurant, Red Olive/a coney, a Chinese place, a Mexican place, Dave & Busters - all without me.
I did go to the movies though and indulged in popcorn and chocolate.
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Thanks! Its not that i want her to workout with me, I just dont think she understands the effort it takes to go day after day of making healthy eating choices...which for me is the biggest problem. I think we all want our spouse to be supportive and understanding when we have a bad day.7
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The hubs and I agree and workout together maybe 50-90% of the time. He flip-flops between working out most days to working out some days. He sometimes gets aggravated when I don't take off the days he does. I just ignore it and workout anyway.
I love the man, been married 20+ years, but I have to do this for me. Eye rolls, remarks, or *kitten* on shoulders doesn't stop my workouts!1 -
Im trying to get back in shape like i was in my 20s, i feel she isnt attracted to me, it would be nice to have someone that cant keep their hands off you...i get none of that! I know in the end its about me but i think we all want to be wanted, if you know what I mean.4
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Man, I feel exactly like you do. My husband has slowly been packing the pounds back on and doesn't give a flyin' *insert your favorite word here*, and brushes me off when I make any suggestions about working out together, maybe cooking a little healthier, etc. I've come to simply shrug off his lack of motivation to do anything for himself and just drive myself.2
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My significant other is supportive in terms of working out a lot and encouraging me to do so... On the other hand, doesn't need to lose weight and eats and drinks a ton (eats/drinks alcohol compulsively; also works out compulsively), encouraging me to do so, too. When we're together (a few months each year) I always gain. Ultimately what I eat is my responsibility, I know, but this is a destructive pattern I'd like to break. Anyone else have relationships with people you always end up over-consuming with?0
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My wife is supportive of my efforts but has no desire to join me. I bought 2 cardio machines a bunch of Dumbbells and a commercial quality free weight home gym, hoping she would at least try to work out. Hasn't happened yet. I'll just continue my body recomposition journey and hope my success will ignite some interest from her.1
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I would never make fun of my husband, I cook healthy food, and I STILL don't like working out with him.0
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I never liked the idea of poking fun at my spouse. Something we can both laugh about is one thing but to belittle one another is just wrong.
I would have a difficult time in a relationship like that.0 -
I don't get any support or encouragement either..that's where my mfp friends come in and back me up. I just decided to do it for me, nobody else. Just think about yourself,not her, you'll soon increase your body confidence and won't need her compliments!3
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My wife always "talks" about when she wants to start to work out but ever does, I've been doing this all by myself going on almost a year. She gets very sarcastic when my workouts inconvenience her ie I leave her alone with the kids while I bike etc, other times she just all out crappy about it. I've just started using it as fuel and motivation to keep me going, I'm doing this so I can live a healthier lifestyle and actually be able to run around with my kids without getting winded.1
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Cutaway_Collar wrote: »I think I am in the minority here. I would absolutely hate working out with my wife or girlfriend for that matter. I absolutely loathe the smug couples who work out together and indulge in such workout hall romance making a spectacle for the whole crowd around them.
My wife invites me to go on walks and I love to do that. But that is probably the best I can do, or cycling. Gym, no effing way.
Don't they just mean though sabotaging their efforts that they are putting in? Like commenting on how long they spend working out or how they don't look as good as they feel kind of thing?
My husband has no interest in working out with me or at all. I'd love him to do some sort of exercise but he's not interested. He'd never tell me I don't look good, I divorced the husband that did that.2 -
I completely understand what ure going through hun. My bf is naturally thin no matter what he eats so he doesn't understand how people can struggle.
I lose weight he shrugs it off I diet he sees his bum Coz I'm eating different to family,
Yet every opportunity he gets I'm the most disgusting fat cow ever known to man.
I agree with the above posts it's ure journey and ure health if she doesn't support u then we will feel free to add me if u want xx0 -
Cutaway_Collar wrote: »I think I am in the minority here. I would absolutely hate working out with my wife or girlfriend for that matter. I absolutely loathe the smug couples who work out together and indulge in such workout hall romance making a spectacle for the whole crowd around them.
My wife invites me to go on walks and I love to do that. But that is probably the best I can do, or cycling. Gym, no effing way.
I do not like working out with my husband, as much as I love him. He does him, I do me.
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Bin her. I can "get rid" for a fee.2
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If it helps we are all here to help and support you.1
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Ohh, is she threatened? Maybe you won't want her if you're fit and trim.
My husband buys cookies and calls me fatty if I eat them. He's playing, but on some level he's testing me.
I just throw it back at her how nice you'll look in 6 months. Which, I'm sure you will. Just keep at it. Find camaraderie in others.0 -
When you're not trying to lose weight, you don't pay much attention to the fact that some people are. I can't remember giving dieters attaboys before I started getting fit. I think it's odd your wife would notice it enough to make fun of you. Maybe she's feeling like she's losing the guy she knows.0
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I don't understand why anyone's SO would poke fun at the way they look, jokingly maybe but never in a serious matter. That's NOT okay. I hope that you and whoever else experiences this finds time to have a serious conversation with their SO.
hearing that honestly breaks my heart. 1 -
Mikestruggle wrote: »Im trying to get back in shape like i was in my 20s, i feel she isnt attracted to me, it would be nice to have someone that cant keep their hands off you...i get none of that! I know in the end its about me but i think we all want to be wanted, if you know what I mean.
For me to feel like I "can't keep my hands off" my husband, I have to feel great about ME. Far more important than what he looks like is how he makes me feel.
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I'm at the same place with my hubby right now1
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