New To The Site and Looking for Serious Motivation and Frien

Hello All! I am new to this site and would like to share with everyone my goals. I currently weight 266 and would like to get myself down to 150 where I will be right in the middle range of a healthy BMI for my height, which is 5' 7. I came really close to my goal a couple of years ago when I weighted 189 pounds. Believe it or not, when I reached my goal then, my starting weight had been 320 pounds. Unfortunately, I gained the weight back. Turns out, I had an adrenal tumor that was causing an overproduction of cortisol which lead to a condition called Cushing Syndrome. But before you start feeling sorry for me, I had surgery to successfully remove the gland (since if you remove the tumor it just grows back in these cases) over 2 years ago! I have since then lost some weight by merely breathing. The reality is, I became really afraid. While my doctors though it was a miracle I had lost weight in the first place, I couldn't help but be totally disappointed at the fact that I had come so close to being my desired weight and then had my body revolt against me. I became fearful that I would go to the process again and gain the weight right back or that the weight loss could possibly mask ANOTHER problem, as it did my adrenal tumor.
But I want to regain my success. When I was at my fittest, I was energetic, confident, and at peace with myself. I am tired of feeling sluggish, depressed and angry at myself whenever I look in the mirror. Not to mention, I want to feel pretty! That is why I have joined this community, have begun working with a beachbody.com trainer, etc. I want to make the strides to not only get back to 189 pounds, but to hopefully pass that goal and get to the original goal of weighing 145 pounds. I know this was a loaded introduction, but it is all about being honest at all times. If I am going to be honest with the world, I will undoubtedly be honest with myself and admit that holding on to fears is not going to get me any closer to happiness. I hope I get to know a lot of you on here, because I will undoubtedly need a lot of support on my journey, but I promise to be equally encouraging.
The same way it takes a village to raise a child, I think, is the same way it takes a village to accomplish individual goals. While no one can lose the weight for me (although that would have been AWESOME if it were possible) a community of people struggling with the same issue and supporting each other in making healthy life-long changes, will undeniably result in getting a lot more people to the finish line than if we embark on the journey alone. That also reminds me, I don't want a temporary fix. I want a life- long life style change. That is what I need. That is why I am here. :blushing: