Ruined it, because of emotional eating.

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AshleighAnn72
AshleighAnn72 Posts: 83 Member
in Motivation and Support
So this evening, ive gone over my calories by nearly 1000 calories. I've recently had my third miscarriage, and ive just been so down today, I needed to cheer myself up. Now i just feel bad, and the whole reason in dieting is to be able to have a child... Will i ever be able to do this?! :(

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  • Danielledarrow
    Danielledarrow Posts: 1 Member
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    What I do when I'm down and sad, i work out in anger. I run, punching bag, anything to the point where I scream.
  • seekingdaintiness
    seekingdaintiness Posts: 137 Member
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    Start over again tomorrow.

    Sorry for your loss.
  • SashEdwards
    SashEdwards Posts: 78 Member
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    One day at a time.... ;)
  • cariduttry
    cariduttry Posts: 210 Member
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    i am so sorry for your loss. allow yourself time to grieve, as long as you need, and then pick yourself up and carry on. you're stronger than you realize.
  • alaynavee
    alaynavee Posts: 148 Member
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    I am so sorry for what you are going through....a miscarriage feels like a failure, even though you haven't done anything wrong for it to happen. Don't beat yourself up today about the overeating, it's just one day, and you did the only thing you knew how to cope with part of it by turning to food. Getting over a third loss is going to take more time than that to handle. Take the time you need, and then when you're ready, you can re-focus on eating well. My thoughts go out to you!
  • UnicornAmandaPanda
    UnicornAmandaPanda Posts: 161 Member
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    I am so sorry for your losses.. I can not even imagine the pain you are going thru right now.. You did not ruin anything or fail.. Allow yourself some time to grieve, hun.. In the mean time, try going for a 20 min walk, or a 20 min yoga video on YouTube.. Have you ever read the book Thinner in thirty by Jenna wolfe? Hear if you need a listening ear!
  • Becoming_Jaie
    Becoming_Jaie Posts: 12 Member
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    Darling, I'm so sorry for your loss. I know how devastating each miscarriage is. I also had to loose weight for fertility and my advice darling is to relax. There are detours in every journey, bumps in every road - keep going. Ride a bike with your SO, walk through a nature trail with an audiobook. Stress will break you.
  • vingogly
    vingogly Posts: 1,785 Member
    edited June 2016
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    1000 calories is less than a third of a pound. It's not as bad as your self-talk is making it out to be. I suggest writing down your negative thoughts, like "I'll never be able to do this", figure out how they're distortions of reality, and come up with a counter to them. Chances are if you do this for a few days you'll find the same negative thoughts come up over and over again.

    Write each one on an index card, and either below it or on the other side write down a rational response to the thought, This will require understanding how it's a distortion. Take these cards out when you get discouraged and read them.

    Example 1:

    "I'll never be able to do this"
    Distortions: catastrophizing, generalizing
    Rational response: "I've succeeded at X Y and Z in the past, and I know I'm capable of success. It's just a matter of sticking to it because that's how I've succeeded in the past."

    Example 2:

    "I went over by 1000 calories today" (behind that thought, possibly what you said in the subject, "I've ruined it".
    Distortions: magnifying, perhaps
    Rational response: "1000 calories over is only a third of a pound, if I get back on the program it's no big deal"

    Those are just my examples -- your rational responses may be different. Find something that is true for you.

    Here's a short list of cognitive distortions that may be helpful:

    https://www.verywell.com/ten-cognitive-distortions-identified-in-cbt-22412

    For a self-help book, try "Feeling Good" or the "Feeling Good Handbook" by David Burns. His site:

    https://feelinggood.com

    Since you're having a lot of problems in your life you might want to work with a therapist for a while; I suggest looking for a cognitive therapist who has experience working with depression and grief and difficult pregnancies. Good luck.
  • FitPhillygirl
    FitPhillygirl Posts: 7,124 Member
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    First, I'm sorry for your loss. Don't fret about going over your calories for the day and please know that things will get better for . Just take it slowly.
  • upoffthemat
    upoffthemat Posts: 679 Member
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    1000 calories over is really less than a third of a pound less that you will lose this week. Yes, it isn't perfect, but it isn't really that big a bump in the road.

    One of the biggest thing I have learned that has helped me sustain weight loss over time is to forgive myself. Forgive myself and move on.
  • Rozo
    Rozo Posts: 2 Member
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    The reason I put weight on was for my first pregnancy. I too miscarried. I developed a sort of attachment to my pregnancy weight. Many would comment on my belly growing, and it became a source of joy. When I lost the baby I had the belly, I had something. I also had hormones and sadness. I allowed myself to go through the "remaining term" guilt free of having put on weight. I was still self conscious of my weight and my demeanor/confidence overall was still very dim, but I was kind with myself I allowed the "slump." I didn't gain too much more weight but I was still heavy. Actually, I'm still "big" but it was recently that I decided to continue healing but now putting my body through the tune up. My mind is healthier, my heart has quietly healed and now I'm ready and happy to begin increasing my activity, and clean up my eating. I'm not in overdrive just yet but with a gentle and loving inner voice I'm working to my tempo...... Be kind to yourself. Loss can bring such an array of emotion. Allow yourself time to just be without any tough criticism. Dip. Slump. Rage. and Weep in healthy doses without viewing them as shortcomings. Go through your process with kind eyes and a poised disposition. You are a quiet fierce force that can rise through the heartache and confusion <3
  • AshleighAnn72
    AshleighAnn72 Posts: 83 Member
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    Thanks guys x
  • yesimpson
    yesimpson Posts: 1,372 Member
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    I'm sorry for your loss.

    1,000 calories is not a significant amount at all in the grand scheme of things. Be kind to yourself, and when you're ready to get back on track, just pick up where you left off.
  • KiyaK
    KiyaK Posts: 519 Member
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    I am sorry for what you're going through.

    For the record, you haven't ruined anything. This is a learning process. We're all bumbling our way through it. You have now seen that binging doesn't make you feel better emotionally. Is there a behavior that does help? Even if it's just a little? Going for a walk, getting outside, journaling, calling a friend, reading a book, taking a long bath, doing some yoga or stretching? Brainstorm some ideas, so next time that feeling hits, you have some behaviors to fall back on. No, it won't solve everything, but a bunch of little things add up & snowball together.

    Fall down 7, get up 8. You can do this.
  • JustMissTracy
    JustMissTracy Posts: 6,338 Member
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    Aw, I am so sorry for your loss, my heart hurts for you. May I suggest you give it a bit of time...don't worry too much about logging for awhile, and concentrate on healing, and getting yourself back. Again, I'm so sorry.
  • nursecasg
    nursecasg Posts: 123 Member
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    I am so, so sorry for your loss..
  • renattadawn
    renattadawn Posts: 15 Member
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    So sorry for your struggles!

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