maybe i can't do this.....

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frazzelmama
frazzelmama Posts: 66
in Motivation and Support
OK, here's what happened...i went to a friends house sunday to watch the game...someone passed me the chips, and i kept passing.(yay, me!!)
well, as a result of me turning down the evil-ness (lol) my BEST FRIEND totally critcized everything that I've been trying to do for myself lately!!! :noway:
She basically told me that the weight I've lost is just a result of just having a baby, and that she really doesn't think that I'm gonna stick to it...even though I've lost 8 pounds just this month! She said "I really do support you, and i hope you do it, but I know you...you've never been able to do it before, what makes this any different?"
Needless to say, I feel like someone let the air out of my balloon...I was soooo proud of myself, and now I just want to give up...:sad: Maybe she's right, maybe it is just a fluke that I've lost what I've lost...maybe I really can't do it for the long haul....
I'm on the verge of giving up, but i really don't want to....I want to do this, but am i just fooling myself???
:sad: :sad: :sad: :sad: :sad:
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Replies

  • frazzelmama
    frazzelmama Posts: 66
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    OK, here's what happened...i went to a friends house sunday to watch the game...someone passed me the chips, and i kept passing.(yay, me!!)
    well, as a result of me turning down the evil-ness (lol) my BEST FRIEND totally critcized everything that I've been trying to do for myself lately!!! :noway:
    She basically told me that the weight I've lost is just a result of just having a baby, and that she really doesn't think that I'm gonna stick to it...even though I've lost 8 pounds just this month! She said "I really do support you, and i hope you do it, but I know you...you've never been able to do it before, what makes this any different?"
    Needless to say, I feel like someone let the air out of my balloon...I was soooo proud of myself, and now I just want to give up...:sad: Maybe she's right, maybe it is just a fluke that I've lost what I've lost...maybe I really can't do it for the long haul....
    I'm on the verge of giving up, but i really don't want to....I want to do this, but am i just fooling myself???
    :sad: :sad: :sad: :sad: :sad:
  • jwgeorgitis
    jwgeorgitis Posts: 3
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    Your friend is jealous of your motivation and plans. Keep up the great work. You can do this and it has nothing to do with having a baby. Just be patient and look at the long term.:smile:
  • pam0206
    pam0206 Posts: 700 Member
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    J-E-A-L-O-U-S???????????? Don't let her get to you....YOU know that you've been doing well. You are watching your calories and you're doing it! It's not a fluke. You're working hard and it's paying off......Sorry that she's feeling that way. Too bad that you can't be an inspiration to her......:flowerforyou:
  • karina77
    karina77 Posts: 1
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    That doesn't sound like support to me. What you're trying to accomplish has to be for you, not for her or anyone else. Don't let her get you down. Remember, the healthier your lifestyle, the longer you will be around to spend with your family.:flowerforyou:
  • dulceluva
    dulceluva Posts: 728 Member
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    Prove it to your best friend then that you CAN do this.
    And I don't think there is anything wrong with crying. I was crying all night the other night.

    Maybe you need to get some tough skin now....show up your friend and tell yourself that you are going to prove your friend wrong and that you will lose your desired weight.

    Then later on you can throw it in her face (friendly of course) that she really let you down and made you feel bad about yourself and well lookie what I did... I look slammin'!! :wink:

    And no one is fooling themselves in this game of life. We just have to play by the rules, have fun and know what to cheat.
  • sophialittle
    sophialittle Posts: 344 Member
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    Don't let her win!! You can do this!!!!! You need to do this for yourself and your family so that you are a healthier you! If she doesn't support you, then is she really your friend? If nothing else, you need to use that as a motivational tool in a positive way to push yourself to prove to her that you can do it!! You need to worry about yourself and your own drive. Whatever others believe, let them believe. You know yourself, what you're capable of, and what you can do!!! So go get exercising and working for this for you!!!!!
  • cosbykids3
    cosbykids3 Posts: 6
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    I've lost aabout 8 lbs this month, too. And my last baby will be 4 in May! Be proud of yourself! Don't let her get you down. It can be done! Congrats on passing on the chips! I totally blew my 1200 calories on Sunday!!!
  • alaskagal
    alaskagal Posts: 326
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    YOU CAN DO THIS!!

    Change is hard for people...whether it's happening in themselves or they see it happening in others. We're all here cheering for you. Don't let the words of one cause you to throw in the towel. Besides an 8 lbs. weight loss isn't a fluke. You had to work hard for that. Keep up the good work!!
  • justmejen
    justmejen Posts: 11
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    WHOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAA THERE MAMA!!!!!
    Who are you doing this for? YOU!
    Who is the one who looks back in the mirror everyday? YOU
    Who is the one who feels better, looks better and wants to go all the way with this? YOU
    DON'T let someone else dicate your life and destroy your want and NEED to be healthier!
    I think your "best friend" needs to keep her mouth shut and if she can't say anything positive, she shouldn't say anything at all!
    Sorry for being so harsh but no one has the right to put doubt in your mind about what you are trying to accomplish.
    You able to do this and you WILL stick to it and you WILL be successful.
    Does your friend need to loose afew pounds? If so, get her to join you and be a team!
    Hang in there girlfriend..........you can do this! PLEASE DON'T GIVE UP!!!
  • mshilara23
    mshilara23 Posts: 6 Member
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    There are always going to be people along the way who will not want you to succeed. Afterall, your success only makes them reflect on themselves and their own failures. Those are the same people who will tell you to treat yourself because you deserve it. Deserve what? To be overweight and unhealthy?

    Don't allow anyone to distract you from your goals. Trust me when I tell you, once the weight loss starts showing, the compliments you receive will far outweigh any negative comments. I have learned to feed off the positive and try not to focus on the negative. You can and will do this! Good luck :)
  • lotusfromthemud
    lotusfromthemud Posts: 5,335 Member
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    You can do it, but I believe that you do need to ask yourself that very hard question: what IS different this time?

    First off, you have this terrific community to turn to. See how many other things you can come up with, and I think that that will really strengthen you!

    :flowerforyou:
  • melathon
    melathon Posts: 246 Member
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    That makes me so mad! Honestly, my first thought was what a b****.
    Really. What kind of friend is that?

    I wholeheartedly agree with everyone else's comments.
    Ignore people like HER, and keep doing your thing. You're doing it right, and she's just jealous!
    :flowerforyou:
  • kbglazier
    kbglazier Posts: 39 Member
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    Let me guess. Either she is overweight, and misery loves company....or she's skinny and she likes having that friend who is overweight because she thinks it makes her look better.

    I have had friends who try to sabotage my weight loss for both of these reasons. PLEASE don't let her discourage you. Sometimes in our search to find our true selves and become the best and healthiest we can be, we will lose relationships along the way. Keep your mind on the relationships you will gain along the way, most importantly, the relationship with yourself and your healthier body! That is the way I choose to look at negativity when thrown my way. Good luck.
  • frazzelmama
    frazzelmama Posts: 66
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    :heart: :heart: :heart: Thanks guys...I really don't know why I let it get to me so bad...I guess it's because I lost my mom last year and my dad about 10 years ago....I've really had to lean on my friends to be there for me, and I just couldn't believe that someone so close to me would say the things she said....
    I know I can do this...I've really let up the past couple days, but I know I need to get it together...for ME!!!
    I feel so much better at the end of the day, when I know I've been successful....the past couple days, at the end of the day, all I keep thinking is...I blew it again....I hate that feeling!!!!
    I'm going to do this....for myself....I know that deep down she probably is jealous a little because she and I have always been about the same size, and a few years ago when she lost like 40 pounds, I just couldn't do it....and now, I think she's bigger than I am....
    I just had to say something on here....I knew if I did, that it would give me the motivation I need to keep going....
    Thanks guys!
  • njadams
    njadams Posts: 4
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    Sorry you need a new friend......... she has issues and YOU dont need her
  • age1389
    age1389 Posts: 1,160 Member
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    You call this chick your best friend? :noway: You just proved how much you want this and how it's not a fluke by coming on this site. YOu could of just given up and never came back to this site. YOu do want this and because you want it you will succeed! Each and every one of us is learning about weight loss and then maintaining you'll have your ups and downs but in the end you will get what you want cause you don't want to let yourself down. Keep up the good work and don't let others second guess yourself, remember your in control.
    Congrats on the eight pounds:flowerforyou:
  • michlindsay23
    michlindsay23 Posts: 21
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    Regardless of WHY you are losing weight, at least you ARE losing. Keep up whatever you're doing and don't let it bother you. Find someone who will support you, not just say they support you. It has worked for me to have someone there to help me along. Keep up the good work, and when you reach your goal, she'll be eating her words. :laugh:
  • aahlight
    aahlight Posts: 37
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    you have lost eight pounds..I dropped a 7 pound baby and still gained 100 pounds...how does she figure its just baby fat...WRONG....I say..well done to you...If you give up you are only losing time..time that can be spent being happy...be done worrying about your weight...live your life....its not going to last forever...
  • Loretta_Jo
    Loretta_Jo Posts: 609 Member
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    Yeah what everyone has said here.
    People like “your friend” really chap my chicken. You need to find yourself another friend. A real friend would never say things like that to you.
    She is jealous in the worst way. She is angry that she gained the weight back she had lost and wants you to fail as well.
    Never let someone like that have that kind of control over you. You do what you know you need to do and forget her.
    I had someone smart off at me telling me that I was too thin. She was sitting there on a butt the size of Texas that was pouring over both sides of her chair. I told her that I was right where my doctor said I should be so I would listen to him and not her.
    She is always talking about losing weight but never does. She is just getting bigger and bigger. She always has something negative to say to me and I zing her back. I forget what she has said and never let it bother me. I just consider the source. I don’t go around her if I can help it.
    I lost both of my parents 8 years ago yesterday in an automobile accident so I understand your feelings there. (I weighed over 300 pounds when they died) I have very little family left. All my family can fit in my van comfortably. My van seats 7.
    Forget her and prove her wrong. Make her eat her words.
    You CAN do this and you will. :flowerforyou:
  • Cowboy
    Cowboy Posts: 369 Member
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    Ditto what everyone here has said! YOU HANG IN THERE! You ARE doing this...too bad your "best friend" doesn't see that.
    Cowboy

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