new job, coworkers eat out every day?
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EvgeniZyntx wrote: »melissa6771 wrote: »@tbelle_g
I can't even believe this is a conversation. Make your lunches, bring them, eat them, and agree to go with them once a week if you want. Why do you have to do anything just because everyone else is doing it? And why would you have to explain yourself? You choose to eat healthier and spend less because it's what you want and it's getting you to YOUR goals. You don't have to live to make your coworkers happy, or to fit in. If they can't accept or respect your choices, that's their issue, not yours. They will either like and accept you for who you are or they won't, whether you go out for lunch daily or not should have absolutely no bearing on that.
Do what makes you happy! Seriously.
And I don't understand why people don't understand where she was going with this. She's completely new there and people are trying to make her feel welcome by reaching out and including her. It can be a little uncomfortable to start declining right off the bat because while you want (and do need) that free time to get friendly with people you're going to be working closely with, maybe it isn't totally fitting with your norm. It isn't a matter of her not being able to speak for herself. It's about that line between acclimating to a new work environment while staying within your financial and/or dietary means. No one here has ever had to conform a bit when encountering a given situation?
Maybe it's a generational thing.
Being uncomfortable is so wrong in this new age.
Yeah...I completely get that. And I'm not exactly young anymore.... But I do understand the desire to do whatever it takes to establish solid relations in the workplace even if it's goes a bit outside your comfort zone.
I agree with you, and I'd likely go with the group and slowly go back to bringing in lunches 3/5 days and explain that I prefer to do that because "eating out every day is just too much for me".
(ps ... older than you.)3 -
Is there a way for you to easily suggest a healthier option for going out to lunch? My old workplace was really into the greasy Chinese that was near our work, but I discovered a Hawaiian BBQ place the same distance away where I could get a 'kids plate' of grilled shrimp with broccoli instead of rice or some grilled chicken breast, and they could still get their sweet&sour sauces and fried foods. If you're in a place to suggest, "Hey, I just discovered this other place close by- let's try that tomorrow?" maybe you can steer them towards food that works better for you?1
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I would just cheerfully say next time - "oh, thanks but I need a break from eating out for a while so I brought my lunch. Have a great time and I'll join you another day". Repeat as often as needed. Or "love to go on Friday but I'm bringing my lunches the rest of the week." Smile!2
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EvgeniZyntx wrote: »EvgeniZyntx wrote: »melissa6771 wrote: »@tbelle_g
I can't even believe this is a conversation. Make your lunches, bring them, eat them, and agree to go with them once a week if you want. Why do you have to do anything just because everyone else is doing it? And why would you have to explain yourself? You choose to eat healthier and spend less because it's what you want and it's getting you to YOUR goals. You don't have to live to make your coworkers happy, or to fit in. If they can't accept or respect your choices, that's their issue, not yours. They will either like and accept you for who you are or they won't, whether you go out for lunch daily or not should have absolutely no bearing on that.
Do what makes you happy! Seriously.
And I don't understand why people don't understand where she was going with this. She's completely new there and people are trying to make her feel welcome by reaching out and including her. It can be a little uncomfortable to start declining right off the bat because while you want (and do need) that free time to get friendly with people you're going to be working closely with, maybe it isn't totally fitting with your norm. It isn't a matter of her not being able to speak for herself. It's about that line between acclimating to a new work environment while staying within your financial and/or dietary means. No one here has ever had to conform a bit when encountering a given situation?
Maybe it's a generational thing.
Being uncomfortable is so wrong in this new age.
Yeah...I completely get that. And I'm not exactly young anymore.... But I do understand the desire to do whatever it takes to establish solid relations in the workplace even if it's goes a bit outside your comfort zone.
I agree with you, and I'd likely go with the group and slowly go back to bringing in lunches 3/5 days and explain that I prefer to do that because "eating out every day is just too much for me".
(ps ... older than you.)
Yup. That's how I would handle it. Once I got comfortable enough with people in my office I just laid it out there and said...two lunches are equivalent to a tank of gas, and I need the gas money more than the sandwich.
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You are worried about what people will think about you. I know you are or you wouldn't have taken the time to make this thread and you would just do what you want. This is respect by definition. Unless you truly want your co-workers to think of you as lower than them, what you are after is respect.EvgeniZyntx wrote: »But? They go out to lunch - this has nothing to do with "respect".
I agree this is not a matter of respect. These folks hardly know me yet, I've only been there for 3 weeks.
Ummmmm....no.
Care to explain? Look up the definition for respect before elaborating please. It's laughable for you not to know what the word means.0 -
I think this is an IT thing...
My coworkers do the same thing everyday, and always pick places like pizza parlors and burger joints. Not that there's anything wrong with it...I just don't see how they can do everyday without it costing a fortune. I bring my lunch, so they're used to me saying no. Sometimes one or two of them try to pressure me, but they know I'm stubborn, too. Why would I want to go get pizza or Italian everyday if I brought my delicious taco salad or homemade BBQ chicken? Besides, I'd be falling asleep at my desk within the hour if I ate heavier foods everyday!
If you're feeling awkward about it, though, I like the idea someone suggested of going once a week or so. I'd just tell them you're trying to save money, which is true because you save a bundle bringing your lunch, haha. It seems awkward at first, but after awhile they'll get used to you declining and should hopefully be no big deal.0 -
pre-plan the restaurants for the lower calorie choices and/or eat half/take half with you, maybe for supper or a pet or such.0
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In the summer months, my co-workers often try to get together and eat outside at a little park or wherever. Some of us bring lunch, some grab subs or takeout, but we all meet up and eat together. Try to set something up if there's outside seating or a park nearby.0
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dragon_girl26 wrote: »I think this is an IT thing...
My coworkers do the same thing everyday, and always pick places like pizza parlors and burger joints. Not that there's anything wrong with it...I just don't see how they can do everyday without it costing a fortune. I bring my lunch, so they're used to me saying no. Sometimes one or two of them try to pressure me, but they know I'm stubborn, too. Why would I want to go get pizza or Italian everyday if I brought my delicious taco salad or homemade BBQ chicken? Besides, I'd be falling asleep at my desk within the hour if I ate heavier foods everyday!
If you're feeling awkward about it, though, I like the idea someone suggested of going once a week or so. I'd just tell them you're trying to save money, which is true because you save a bundle bringing your lunch, haha. It seems awkward at first, but after awhile they'll get used to you declining and should hopefully be no big deal.
I wonder that too, since my boyfriend works in IT, lol.1 -
Save your lbs and £s by ordering stuff that you'd usually have for lunch - like maybe a soup. Be wary of salads as they can load them up with creamy dressings. I'd worry for my budget as much as my waistline it that situation!0
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eveandqsmom wrote: »What if you went every other day?
This^
I pick Friday to go out to lunch with everyone.
Because you're new - perhaps one day a week won't cut it. Maybe order a small side salad, and eat a sandwich at your desk when you get back from lunch. That way you can save some money & calories.0 -
I'm in the opposite boat now - I telecommute full time and am associated with an office over 1,500 miles away. At this point, I'd LOVE to be able to go out to lunch with my co-workers!
Before I moved, my husband worked and lived out of town for almost 9 years (construction management for large infrastructure projects around the country and I rarely moved with him from project to project (either the duration or the location wasn't worth it for me to give up my job)). I'd go out with co-workers most days for lunch and use that as my main meal of the day. Breakfast was usually yogurt and granola or eggs and fruit and then I'd have a light dinner in the evening (no kids so I could eat what/when I felt like it). I'm not sure if that is an option for the OP. Yes, it would cost me $7-10 a day (4x a week since we only worked half days on Fridays and everybody always seemed to have their own things going on) but it gave me some social interaction with other co-workers who didn't sit in the same cubicle section that I did or if cube-mates, a chance to vent outside the office!
Otherwise, on another thread, a poster mentioned that he logs his "unpredictable" meal as the next day's meal and then he could customize his other meals that day to reach his remaining goals. In his case, his spouse was in charge of the evening meal and he wouldn't always know exactly what they would have that evening. This could be an option for the OP. If they tend to go to the same places all the time, see if you can make REASONABLE special requests from the menu. For example, we used to go to the same place all the time for Mexican Monday and I was able to get fajita veggies instead of rice (I didn't like their particular rice flavoring) for little to no change in price (depended on which manager was the cashier of the day).
If you don't want to go out every day, I would suggest gradually cutting back so that way you're still part of the group if you're looking for that social interaction and still getting to know everyone. If they persist in asking why, I would tell them a general reason related to your ultimate goal. If the lunches out are too much on waistline, then a simple, I've been working on eating healthier and need to focus on that again or if it's too much on the wallet, then just a simple, I have a big purchase coming up and I'm trying to save up some extra cash for that. Say it with a smile and tell them that you'll go with them later in the week.0 -
I'd rather be alone and stick to my healthy eating and not gain weight back than feel obligated to socialize and be tempted, but that's just me.1
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Because you're just getting to know them, I'd say go with them for a couple weeks at first. I did a course abroad and I packed my lunch every day. I ended up sitting alone and reading while people went out for lunch, and I didn't make any friends until it was practically over. That was a mistake I still regret. Of course, you'll talk to people eventually if you don't go out, but it will fast track knowing people and being comfortable there. I think that's valuable.
I'd suggest what another person mentioned, having a coffee/tea and eating your actual lunch before or after. You could bring it with you, though not all restaurants are cool with outside food. I think the "I'm saving money" excuse is the easier one, it doesn't come with as many personal questions or evaluations as "I'm watching what I eat." A coffee/tea should be about $2, so that is still a smaller expenditure than a full out meal, and you'd probably have an easier time bringing your own food if you buy something. Good luck!0 -
I completely get where OP is coming from because it was me 15 years ago... It's definitely a tough spot to be in, after a while I stopped going too (I didn't always like the places they went to) and I definitely started feeling a bit excluded. It's really not the same thing when you're new somewhere... there's really much more to it than 'just lunch'.0
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glass one of them in the pub, they wont invite you anymore problem solved.
Stupidity aside, if its important to you then you'll make it work.0 -
I go with mine, I don't eat anything. I maybe buy an unsweetened drink, though.0
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I work in IT and have had the same issues. I had enough freedom to bring my lunch and eat it before or after going out. When I went out, most places allowed me to eat off the kids menu. That saved some money and portions were usually smaller.0
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The $$ will add up.0
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Strange you should say that. Sorry to say, in my whole work career I have never ran into an IT person that was not obese.dragon_girl26 wrote: »I think this is an IT thing...
My coworkers do the same thing everyday, and always pick places like pizza parlors and burger joints. Not that there's anything wrong with it...I just don't see how they can do everyday without it costing a fortune. I bring my lunch, so they're used to me saying no. Sometimes one or two of them try to pressure me, but they know I'm stubborn, too. Why would I want to go get pizza or Italian everyday if I brought my delicious taco salad or homemade BBQ chicken? Besides, I'd be falling asleep at my desk within the hour if I ate heavier foods everyday!
If you're feeling awkward about it, though, I like the idea someone suggested of going once a week or so. I'd just tell them you're trying to save money, which is true because you save a bundle bringing your lunch, haha. It seems awkward at first, but after awhile they'll get used to you declining and should hopefully be no big deal.![:\](https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/resources/emoji/confused.png ":\")
Even the subcontractor who come in for the "super major" issues.
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